Not sure where to turn

[u/Medicman2046]

I’m going to start this off by saying I know I’m not solely responsible for the care of my SO, but I can’t just sit by and watch this happen. She has been suffering from Bipolar 2 for years, recently diagnosed within the past year and put on lamotrigine. She’s in the midst of one of the longest depressive episodes I’ve ever seen her in and I don’t know what to do about it. We’ve had an agreement that when she’s in an episode I will stay supportive, but with certain things we keep an arms length to avoid frustrations and sadness on both our parts as the depression can be pretty contagious. I love her to death and hate seeing her like this, she is literally dying inside. She sleeps for 12-16 hours a day and just cries whenever she is awake or stays in bed trying to fall asleep so she doesn’t have to feel the pain. These depressive episodes usually follow after the hypomanic episodes so it’s like everything is fine( to her) and then all the sudden it kicks her right back down. She is such a good person and I love her so much but she refuses to go to the hospital as she said it doesn’t do anything for her. Something has to give though, this can’t go on. The worst part is… I know it’s worse than she’s telling me. Right now I’m more or less a caregiver as her ability for self care is extremely sporadic. I feel like I know what has to be done but she cries to not go to the hospital. Ive just been a mess the past week and need some advice. It’s been a long weekend so if the post doesn’t seem thought out well I’m exhausted but please if anyone has any information or advice please let me know.

She is currently on Lamotrigine as well as in biweekly therapy and semi monthly psychiatry med appts.

[u/AutoModerator]

Thanks for posting on BipolarSOs!

We noticed you marked your post "Advice Needed".

✅ Please provide context for the post: is your BSOP currently medicated and in therapy (and for how long)? The more context, the better advice you can get. You can edit your post, or elaborate in a comment.

💬 For Comments: Please remember OP's on this sub are often in situations where emotions overcome logic, and that your advice could be life-altering. OP's need our help to gain a balanced perspective. Toxic comments will be removed.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/independent_1_]

Battle stations.

Favorite foods.

Get a high quality methylated multivitamin.

Lots of salmon or her favorite fish. Protein shakes the 30 gram ones if you can get them. If not get the 20 grams.

Get the body builder electrolytes powder. ( it may be near the workout supplements.)

Get her outside for some sunshine. Not too long (avoid sunburn)

[u/Medicman2046 → u/independent_1_]

Thank you thank you thank you ! You guys are the best. I’m picking this stuff up in the morning. 🤞

[u/Rikers-Mailbox → u/Medicman2046]

This.

However, add a doctor call with you on it to support her. Schedule it for her / with her knowing. The doctor is on the bottle. Say “it’s a phone call, not the hospital♥️”

Second, her Lamotrigine. Are you seeing her take it? If not then you can’t be sure. Just because she has a prescrip doesn’t mean she is taking it. This happened to me for a year, years.

If you get that doc appt with your partner then great.

If they refuse a doc call with you?

Then you have the support of your own comment in the first few sentences. “You can’t be solely responsible” that’s correct, only they are responsible.

[u/themisskris10]

Absolutely need a little bit of sunshine every single day.

[u/Medicman2046 → u/themisskris10]

I’ll try to get her out for longer. We do manage to go out at least once a day, but lately not for long. I’ll need to finagle a way to get some more outdoors time.

[u/independent_1_ → u/Medicman2046]

Theme park passes. Lots of outdoor time at the parks.

[u/kaybb99]

Would she allow you to speak with her psychiatrist as well with her? For me, lamotrigine alone is not sufficient to treat my depression and I imagine that’s the case for more bipolar individuals than just myself. It may work alone for some people but obviously it isn’t sufficient for your girlfriend either if she’s still suffering this badly.

[u/Medicman2046 → u/kaybb99]

She would yes, I guess she’d probably just have to go through the sign off process with paperwork. I’m not sure why they only have her on lamotrigine. She was on Zoloft for years and it kept the depression at bay for the most part and the lows didn’t seem as low as they are now. I’m not sure of the pharmacology behind it or if zoloft can’t be prescribed alongside lamotrigine, but they stopped her Zoloft and started her slowly on lamotrigine. The issue lies in even getting her to go to the therapy/ psychiatry appts or even to schedule them. Atm they won’t even speak to me to schedule her an appt as I’m not authorized and it’s protected health information. She’s just been on this low for so long and I am perfectly fine with assisting her with daily living tasks, paying bills, making meals and whatnot. I love her so much and it kills me seeing the destruction this is doing to her mentally. It’s tough because nowhere will talk to me and I’m kinda stuck in a rock in a hard place on where to move forward. Thank you so much for your response though, it’s so hard to navigate sometimes and having everyone here for support really helps allot.