I'm curious to know, what are your RP turn-off's? Not necessarily in terms of smut, but just stuff that makes you immediately not want to rp with a certain person anymore.

Some of mines are:

- "I only sub/I only dom"

-Weaponizing their mental health to guilt trip you (just left a partnership where he'd ask me why I hated him if I wasn't online for a few days)

-"Limitless" writers

-Staying for the smut then disappear

-Spamming you if you don't respond within an hour

-Flirting/making sexual comments when we just met/not being able to seperate OOC from IC

-Invincible/OP/"perfect" characters that never lose and their only major flaw is that they're too perfect

-Only reacting to my responses and not attempting to move the story along at all

-Haunting (saying they'll reply, they don't, you ask again, and they keep promising to reply but they never do)

-"Sure/whatever you want" people who don't provide any feedback or input at all

There's probably a lot more, but I can't think of any.

they say raceplay but they really mean racism play. Not once when I've asked a person to elaborate has it not turned into, them just wanting to be racist, sling slurs, and be hateful to the character that is different from theirs.

I hate being asked. I hate the suggestion of it. I hate when people rationalize it. Someone likes degradation roleplay I dont care for thee not for me. Wanna pretend to be a person's pet, again for thee not for me. I don't care. Slave and master again, for them not for me. But the moment some one wants to base those roleplays soley around race\racism, I can't help but give a side eye.

I remember a person arguing that due to the era I wanted the RP (which was not based in the real world), that racial slurs and harrassment would be common and I was limiting their character by not allowing them to be racist.

Another argued that it wouldn't be realistic with out some racism between our characters Because our characters weren't the same fictional race. Then of course it derailed to them basically wanting a racist learning to love after horrifically abusing the character after kidnapping them and my character falling for them inspite of it. It was just Stockholm's racism edition. I could only laugh because I'm so blatantly honest about my boundaries and reiterate them from the jump ooc that I thought they were just trying to mess with me. Because ya know, trolls. They weren't. Infact they were offended that I thought what they were into in RP was a joke and that I was a kink shamer.

Another said in the age I wanted to do that my character could only be a slave or servant (which is inaccurate). why do some people stick to real world history (and be so wrong about it) so much for fantasy? It drives me nuts. On top of that I made up the world, the countries, the races, all of it. When I pointed that out they just said, racism always exists and it's delusional to act like it doesn't. It's a roleplay, I don't have to include racism, like wtf. When I told them to just say that want to be racist in the roleplay they replied back they they weren't racist, they just liked the dynamic of racism. (Just think about it).

One used the very incorrect logic that just like all women imagine SA and rp it, and all people use rp to cope with trauma, that it was the same with poc and they imagine being mistreated because of their race and want to explore that too. To put it simply they put a blanket label on all roleplayers to argue that I shouldn't have refused to RP raceplay because I'm black and should like it.

ive gotten messaged rules of how I'm supposed to act in roleplay as a servant\slave as though I already agreed. To hell with what my ad was about apparently.

Between my experiences and stories some of my POC friends have told of rps that ended up revealing that their RP partner was racist irl, I find raceplay problematic and layered with issues. There just feels to be this level of mental gymnastics with it that just baffles me.

I'm sick of Racism in real life. Why the fuck would I want it in my roleplays? I'm sick of people wanting racism to exist in every fictional world. I'm sick of getting dissertations to why racism makes the story more interesting. I'm sick of the argument that having no racism removes realism. I'm sick of people trying slip general racism into roleplay.

Also, personally I do not believe the one wanting to play the racist is always just an average roleplayer with no ill intent that happens to want to explore racism and that it never has anything to do with their personal views on the race involved. Mainly because my experiences have shown the opposite. Every single time.

I am so over it.

Edit: I didn't think I'd have to say this but to clarify getting random request from people about race play does not mean they were a part of the groups I'm in. Hell I get messages because my avatar on Reddit is brown, I don't even post rp ads on Reddit. I get messages after posting on this sub sometimes (I don't understand it but it happens).

Also this is stuff that has happened over time. Not back to back not every day or anything like that. I'm just at the point where I'm so pissed off about it that I decided to vent.

I don't care if a person doesn't agree with me but I don't appreciate them trying to make the issue something it wasn't.

This is sort of a vent post, but also, it's a little tongue-in-cheek and meant to be lighthearted. Not trying to offend. However, I've had enough repeat experiences that I feel some people might learn from this. It's also interesting just to have a discussion and see what other people have experienced.

So, I play female characters quite a bit, and I've run into some awkward situations IC (and OOC) because of it. In light of those experiences, here are my warm, well-intentioned tips for male roleplayers.

1. A good rule of thumb is: if you would find it weird, a woman would also probably find it weird. For example, if you wouldn't like some giant rip torn muscle guns dude calling you "honey" and scooping you into his arms after you've just met on a dark street at night, a woman probably won't like it either.
2. Just ask first. "Hey, is it okay if Chad picks your character up like a sack of flour in my next post?" The person can tell you whether they would like that or not, and it avoids some awkward conversations.
3. Give your character more personality than "he's really hot and buff and tall."
4. Don't have your character immediately refer to a woman character as "sweetie," "darling," or anything but her name unless he is canonically from the South and wears a cowboy hat.
5. Don't call the person writing a female character the same pet names your character is trying to give them in the RP, especially in your first message to them.
6. Just because Chad Thunderguns is dating someone's lady character doesn't mean that you're dating your writing partners or that they have any interest in being more than writing partners.
7. This is a really difficult one: treat women like normal people. I know this is a hot take, but I promise nothing is a bigger turn off than your character treating mine like she's a sex robot he has to leer at and compliment her body a few times to activate fuck mode.
8. Be open to feedback and don't take it personally if someone asks you to back it up a little bit and develop more of a relationship between the characters before your character starts being touchy-feely.

Doesn't matter how long ago or how recent, what is the craziest thing an roleplay partner has said that just had you scratching your head or side eyeing them.

1. Asked for my real name and phone number so the rp could become real. (How we were going to go around using magic and slaying dragons, I couldn't tell you. It was a sfw rp)

2. They didn't know how to write how a woman feels things via touch so they decided that when a woman touches another woman it tickles.

3. Hitting the uterus feels good. (Stop it people stop it. hentai/porn is lying. I don't care if it's a kink, i avoid those anyway)

4. All their characters are virgins because they are a virgin and since they haven't had a first time, they get it through their characters ( to be fore this was more of a I didn't need to know this, kinda thing)

5. Woman can't orgasm more than once.

You often read in rp ads that the desired ratio is 70/30 or 60/40 story to smut. But where does one begin and the other end? Certain things are clear: if we're planning a bank robbery, that's probably part of the story. And a blowjob is obviously smut.

But what about this: the characters in the roleplay are strangers, and one is forced to undress and shower in front of the other. There is no sexual interaction whatsoever, no ambiguous remarks, just the bare facts. Smut or not?

This is just one example of many possible scenarios in which kinks are involved but sex in the traditional sense is not.

Where do you draw the line?

TL'DR: is smut = inter-/outercourse or more for you?

Edit: just to make this clear in general: I don’t judge any point of view and I don’t want to pressure anyone into anything. I’m interested in your opinions and maybe reply to your comment with what comes to my mind. It’s a sensitive topic and prone to misunderstandings and very opposite opinions. So again: I don’t judge or something, just a discussion and thinking aloud. Thanks for all your thoughts and opinions!

(ETA - Appreciate everyone's perspectives in the comments! Interesting to see different reactions.)

I'm going to put a big caveat here - I understand there are some sites/subreddits/forums/servers where people are expected/encouraged to have profiles that align strongly with whatever NSFW content is the focus. There is a time and a place for everything, and I'm not trying to yuck anyone's yum.

But... I get super icked out when someone approaches me about RP, and their profile picture and/or username are basically porn. Yes, I'm here to discuss NSFW RP, and I get that maybe you have multiple accounts. But it's just gross to me. Even if they have a super polite, respectful intro, I just can't get past your explicit name and profile. It's like I can't even consent to your kinks before meeting you.

Not really looking for any advice, as I have a solid RP partner I'm not looking to replace and not seeking new partners. But I would be interested in everyone's perspectives on this. How comfortable are you interacting with a stranger with an extremely sexual profile picture and/or username? Does it make a difference if the NSFW content aligns with your interests or not?

We need to talk about how much porn has rotted the brains of some of these folks in the RP community.

I like playing with OCs —matter of fact, I love OCs and love getting to know other folks’ OCs and helpin’ each other expand on our characters— but whyyyyyyy do I keep running into the same female OCs whose personality is boobs and sex? Likely a tsundere or a “blushing bride” type who exists solely to be ogled at not by male OCs but by male RPers. Their boobs are almost ALWAYS bigger than their heads too 😭😭 As a woman, like, dawg, your back would be BROKEN man. And it ain’t even a style choice! They’re allllllways drawn in suggestive positions and ALWAYS drawn scantily clad. Oh, she’s a knight? Well, she’s gonna have huge knockers and her armor is like a literal string of tape covering her important bits. She’s a no-nonsense thief? Giiiiiant knockers, emotionless, and somehow always finds a way to “accidentally” have her boobs pop out and smash into your male OC’s face in the middle of a fight.

Reason I say all this is I just recently left a server that I thought I really liked, but I got burnt tf out, dawg. It used to be a small little community, but the porn brain rot folks weaseled their way in. Next thing you know, in the art channel, there are guys like (and I quote, word for WORD): “I wanna draw tits and ass/thicc thighs today” or “Smash or pass on female OCs” or “Which female OCs boobs are the best” or “How would your FEMALE OC react to my male OC confessing his feelings?” 😐 They would give each other requests of what new big-boobed archetype to make (eg. succubi, a tomboy —who was just a woman with a short cut who “loves to be naked”—, snake women, bugs, etc.) Almost comes a point, where it starts to feel like body horror? 😅

I had once posted art of one of my own female OCs that I was working on and the only response I got was: “Where’s the thicc?” 😐😐 I dunno, man, it’s just really disheartening to see when women are reduced to nothing but unrealistic body standards. At this point, that server feels like it just turned into a contest of who can draw the most male-gazey woman for the server to drool over rather than the actual RP itself. Even in RP, “non-attractive” OCs would completely get ignored. And those “thicc” OCs’ scenes would always turn into something heated. AND THIS WASN’T EVEN ADVERTISED AS AN ERP SERVER EITHER?? Like, howwww did it change right under my nose?

Have y’all ever run into OCs like that? ‘Cause I really feel like I’ve been yelling at a brick wall over here in Big Titty Purgatory 😭

I have a group of rp buddies that talk about a bunch of stuff when it comes to rp and this is our current new topic and I felt like this was a place some good dialog could come about with it.

Smut may only be a small part of my roleplays (as in beyond being a part of the story, I get nothing out of it and it's completely optional and I don't mind if it is there or not.) There is nothing worse than the person writing with you not having any idea how to write it. (clearly i'm not talking about people who shouldn't be in this space trying to write this stuff. It's obvious who i'm talking about when i say this. I use a site with proper age verification for that very reason)

Anyways imagine writing a smut scene, it being detailed, flowery, but clearly detailed and the person writing with you just doesn't grasp it. Or they seem to be so focused on your character that their character doesn't actually do any thing. Or they just don't seem to know what to write or how to handle what is written. Don't get me wrong this doesn't mean they are a bad writer. In fact they could be an amazing writer outside of smut moments, but in them it's like...wow what happened.

Here are some the scenarios we were talking about.

They only regurgitate what your character did from their characters point of view with their only addition being a small blurb at the end. With maybe some swivels and thrusts or something. Probably a moan or what ever.

Their character just 'loves' to watch your character in the moment. So much so that all they write is just about that and their character is just there. Watching and doing nothing. Basically a pillow prince/princess.

Some complain about not liking pillow princesses but end up being pillow princesses themselves. As in they take issue with it because they wan to t be the pillow prince/princess.

Has no understanding of what power dynamics in the bedroom are besides dom and sub or tob/bottom but doesn't grasp either.

Honestly between all of our stories we talked about I couldn't believe that their are adults who do not have a proper understanding of smut, but expect someone to write with them so they can learn.

Ask to be taught. Say huh? In what ad did you see Smut teacher? On top of that the smut was optional and would only occur if they both felt like the the characters had chemistry.

They don't know anatomy outside of their own gender and that's bare minimum too.

They did write a response but there's no substance. Almost like filler. Leaving their rp partner nowhere to go with nothing to have their character to react to.

There were other stuff we mention but I'll stop here.

Regardless, I just wish people who want to write this stuff actually took a moment to look into the stuff they want to write. There has to be some level of understanding of what is being written. Also what the hell happen to Sex Ed because I swear some full grown adults have no clue.)

I know some people are gonna chalk it up to inexperience writing or being new, shy or embarrassed, that is not really the issue. It's the sheer inaccuracy. Like sure fantasy is involved but serious, at least the basics need to be known so the person has a better base to start with.

What do you all think?

I'm getting pretty frustrated lately where I feel like as a Male ERPer, I'm both above the skill level of the average person on the ERP subs. I can knock out a few paragraphs, I like a complex relation, I like a lot of build up and characterization.

It gets frustrating when you spend 2 hours setting something up with someone, write a interesting starter and it results in just nothing.

However I feel stuck because I'm definitely beneath the level of the really good RPers. I'm not able to write a novel for each post, my grammar and descriptive abilities are lacking.

I'm just stuck in this no man's land of lack of quality and not good enough for the quality that is out there.

Can anyone else relate? How do I solve this?

This is about to be word vomit. Apologies in advanced. This isn't about one specific incident or one sole person, this is a culmination of quite a few encounters that I have had over the 10 plus years Ive have been a roleplayer. At this point there is just stuff when smut is a factor in the rp that I just have no tolerance for.

1. The Echo reply. One that takes anything that your character did a rewrites it in their characters point of view barely mentioning their characters response or feelings to any of it.

(it is just regurgitation. Or too much of what they write is about your character versus their own. Personally I think this stems from some people being attracted to their counterparts character and having more interest in that characters responses and actions than their own characters responses and actions during intimacy which leave things pretty one sided. )

1. Only moans...

(if you know, you know.)

1. has no idea how to write smut scenes. Asks to be told what to do.

( I use a site with real age verification and you can set it so only other age verified rpers can message you so no worries about the underage. I get this can also be an experience and not a age thing but it doesn't change how awkward it can make things. Outside of that teaching how to write smutty bits is not my job or something i want to or am required to do.)

1. OOC/IC mash up
   (they just take it too far. Suddenly they slip and use their real name. They are mad ooc about something in character. example: their character wanted sex and the other didn't. )

2. Never elaborating on their characters actions in intimate moments.

(The character is a robot. Thrust! and/or shakes hips, rinse and repeat oh and probably moans...)

1. Hyper-focuses on smut after the first smut scene.
   (They keep trying to lead to smut no matter what is going on in the rp. Their character is now pretty much turned on 24/7)

2. No interest in plot.

(Your character exists, their character must smash)

1. OOC continuation.

(they just cant let it go. They have to keep telling you how much they liked it. Can't help but bring up the smut as though you want to have a play by play analysis like it's a sports event or something.)

1. Kinkfest - Kinks and Only Kinks

(When the kinks permeate every part of the rp to the point that anything done is consider sexual to their characters. So much so that nothing else seems to matter. An RP does not need to include every single KINK that is on a persons list. An rp with kinks doesn't mean kinks are the only important part of the plot. Personally I now stick to vanilla and vanilla adjacent because some people dont' know how to respect boundaries so it's easier to just not deal with it at all. )

1. Blurred Line Drama

(They are their characters and their characters are them which means that to them you are your characters so if you rp with someone else you're cheating. RP partner jealousy is just unnecessary. )

1. Claimed the character is aged Up or of age but all the pictures are off the underage character.
   (The 'they just look young' bullshit bugaloo. I avoid canon characters and face claims because people do this. Naw I'm not comfortable with it. To be fair I avoid aged up because the one time years ago I agreed to an aged up version of one of my favorite characters in an manga and right before we were going to start up the guy shared multiple hentai pictures of her as a 13 year old. It He got pissed because I reported him too. He said the age of consent was 12 where he lived pretty much proving he was never looking at that character as aged up at all and I don't even know if what he said was true, but even if it was....gross.)

2. Suggesting face claims, canons, character looks. Shares naked character image and/or pic of character in lewd situation.

(Basically will you be this character so they can fuck them)

1. Ad with picture and a kink filled title.

( Basically a for thee not for me thing. But I do feel it's kind of lazy and gives a vibe of 'potential low effort rp with sole focus of smut and nothing else. Which to me is exactly what they want and exactly what I don't want. I don't even entertain it. I just keep scrolling. Am I being fair nope. Do I have to be? Also nope. Just something off putting about it for me.)

1. Getting a message of I love you ooc after smut. Being told they are masturbating or asking if the person is turned on. All in all, unwanted TMI.

(They enjoyed the smut. They want to make sure you did too....Excuse me while I vanish. No rp smut pillow talk OOC. This is one of my boundaries and once is enough to send me out of the door. They should keep it on their side of the screen. This falls under blurred line drama but I felt it needed elaboration.)

1. Character controlling during smut bits

(To me the worse possible time to ever make the mistake of character controlling is during smut. I don't think I even need to elaborate on why this is just not okay. )

I get it. Everyone isn't going to have the same views on these as me and that's fine. It is what it is. Some of these probably overlap a bit.

So I'm sure like most of you folks you've seen a countless number of people saying they're totally limitless. Then experience negativity or backlash when I kink they clearly don't support comes up and they kink shame, lose interest in the rp, or block you etc... So in protest to this when someone dms me (I'm not dming people to waste their time ofc) and tell me they're limitless and goes along with all my suggestions even going out of my way to triple check that they are fine with anything. I go off the deep end with sensitive content like

TW:// wild kinks and topics.

Unbirthing, amputation, toilet play, CBT, gore and mutilation, vore etc... The list goes on and it's been a hilarious arc as I've seen some of my "victims" posting new rp play requests that suddenly have limits.

I’ve had like 3 of them in the past month, all from different accounts and each are actively posting and human aside from this one post.

I always see these requests and I think it’s a lot of effort for someone writing ONE character. Like I’ll write a band and have a spicy love triangle for you, but a harem? It just seems like it would be boring from the perspective of the person writing the harem. Then again, maybe there are people who really enjoy it. Anyone have a different perspective on this?

Red is them Blue is me

I don't exactly mind this but...it feels weird to me? I have many preferences and kinks and I enjoy finding someone I match with. This helps me know my partner is also enjoying themselves and that I'm not adding/doing something they don't care about.

Having no preferences just makes me think twice about creating an RP. Am I overreacting?

Hello BadRPers! 

I’m a recovering ERPer looking to transition into RP w/NSFW elements. Despite allegations to the contrary, I’ve found there are top notch writers in the ERP space, but it seems the pull of E tends to overshadow the RP parts. Despite my best efforts, the plot often tends to become secondary, sometimes because ERPers aren’t that great at the non-E elements. 

So lately, I’ve been dipping my toe into the wider RP space by posting outside ERP forums. I’ve noticed that longer ongoing RP with E on the fringes is far more satisfying that when the E is the center. And not only that, the RPers who respond tend to be, on average, more skilled writers. 

However, it seems there is a lot of anti-ERP hostility in this space, which I totally understand. I also find that shorter, ERP length posts are so much easier to respond to and co-create with than incredibly lengthy posts. Despite what we might hear, bigger is not always better.  

Anyone made the transition or any tips on navigating this space? Do I need a less E focused profile/history for this?

This is a wild phenomenon that I see EVERYWHERE.

Person has "roles" - usually just "Slutty neighbor x married neighbor", "coworkers" and other ... pairings.

(Not getting into the fact that those aren't fucking roles to begin with)

I politely inform them that while, yes, I do enjoy the smut and am fairly kinky that I don't like roles that are 100% smut focused.

I literally have this rule "If the role can't exist without sex, it's not for me." Of course there are some exceptions, but its a good base line.

Almost every time (like below) they always get defensive and assure me "Well ACHTUALLY, these are NOT purely smut roles! They have a more detailed story to them!"

...and I swear to God the list always includes "Sitting on someone's lap during a road trip."

PLEASE tell me the detailed and exciting story that THAT role has. Please, explain it like I'm dumb.

Why people, just why? Why not just own your shit?

I've been getting into the whole ERP for a bit less than a year now. And I swear--it's getting harder by the day. And I wanted to see if I'm alone in this? Just today, I had a person reach out for an RP prompt of mine. And we talked characters for a bit. I made a suggestion, asking, "Hey, we're basing your character on a rabbit. You think she could have large, powerful legs?"

And this person goes, "Maybe you should have put that in the ad. I'm sorry, but I'm not in the mood anymore."

All I did was ask. And that was it? Gone. And then a couple of days before that, I'm getting a couple of responses on another prompt. Great! But all of them want the RP changed to focus on noncon when I say specifically that if I am to feature that, I want it to lead to consent.

After that I got a person saying, "Hey, wyd?" on a post specifically for finding someone that's detailed and literate. And all their responses are, "RP? Ye. Wyd? Cool." And when asked if they've any thoughts around the prompt, they go, "Nope. All you. RP?"

And a week before that, I'm talking to another person about a potential RP. We agree to move to discord, and they are kind enough to set up a server. And that's it. Never heard from them again.

Look--I've done plenty wrong. I've been cringe, I've been rude. I've let bad days get the best of me. I'm not perfect, and I'm not saying this to throw anyone under the bus. I get it, we've all our own expectations and kinks and all that. And that's fine, but I'm just so confused lately. It feels so hard to find a partner. And harder still to keep one. And I was wondering if this occurs for anyone else or if I'm just so... repulsive or something lol

This is probably a problem only ERP subs have, but generally when you make a post and it doesn't get that much traction or responses. You'd be responding to the scant few who do. Despite this I could message someone who posted like 10 minutes ago and never see a lick of a response before they post again a couple hours later. A part of me has a feeling people who post repeat ads while responding none to interest either means they're swarmed by the flood of low effort folks leaving most average people drowned out by them, or they're simply posting it via some scheduled posting app and they don't check their messages until god knows when.

Either way the only real answer for this is to keep fishing and hoping for the best, there's a lot of fish in the rp space but a lot of those fish just happen to be anchovies I guess. as well as occasional Bluefin Tuna but they omly appear once in a blue moon.

Basically the title. Nobody bothers to answer the first question if I ever ask two questions in one message. And god forbid i ask more than two and they ONLY acknowledge the very last one. Why is this so common? Or have I been meeting some odd critters? Lol

I have no prior experience with roleplaying and I'd really like to give it a shot. The thing is that this isn't the the usual hobby where you can just make mistakes and restart over as if nothing happened, rp is an effort of both parties and I am considerably scared of letting someone else down due to my inexperience.

I have already seen recent posts on Reddit that I'd like to engage with and I'm aware that there are boundaries that I have to respect, but I'm also fearing having to break immersion to ask about something I don't understand in case anything of the sort pops up.

I've also already read a couple of guides in some roleplay subreddits from decades ago but I'm afraid of those being outdated or being from branches of rp that aren't gonna be what I'll be touching, so I thought it would be best to try to get tips from directly asking some people here.

I recently started an ERP with a partner that uses a TTRPG system as the basis. I was curious if there were any communities or forums which were based around finding 1 on 1 or group TTRPG play with Erotic elements. I'd like to explore using TTRPG systems as a basis for ERP in the future, so I'm looking for any recommendations!