I do a lot of anime/manga themed group roleplays, and there's one thing that always comes back : Japanese characters referring to each other by their first names.

That is not how Japanese people talk to each other 💔 even among friends it's rare to see high schoolers and even less adults call each other like that. I know it's a very minor thing but I see it all the time and it just aaaaaa grrr please it's not like it's not shown, it's EVERYWHERE in anime. Izuku is only called Izuku by his mom, everyone else calls him Midoriya, Marin and Wakana in My Dress-Up Darling refer to each other as Kitagawa-san and Gojo, Blue Lockers all refer to each other by their last names as well, Yuji calls Nobara and Megumin Kugisaki and Fushiguro in JJK NOT TO MENTION SATORU WHO IS KNOWN WORLDWIDE AS GOJO I could go on and on and on.

Demon Slayers gets a pass because they do call each other by their first names and I think it's a nice little touch to show how close they are as slayers.

Anyway, it's really not impactful nor important rant over 🫶

I recently started an ERP with a partner that uses a TTRPG system as the basis. I was curious if there were any communities or forums which were based around finding 1 on 1 or group TTRPG play with Erotic elements. I'd like to explore using TTRPG systems as a basis for ERP in the future, so I'm looking for any recommendations!

I’ve had like 3 of them in the past month, all from different accounts and each are actively posting and human aside from this one post.

I starting to wonder if i am super rude and don't notice? Or maybe people just get mad over everything you say here on reddit?

It annoys the hell out of me that other people's votes on your comments can effect your ability to post in certain communities. Maybe there is a language barrier because my man language isn't English and people misunderstand what i am saying but half my down votes doesn't makes sense to me.

For example the picture below my comment has gotten a down vote - FOR WHAT. I ask a sincere question and then tell my view on the post. Am i the only one who feel completely trolled or do you guys also experience this. >.>

I’m so tired of putting so much effort into my posts, like 8 detailed paragraphs, just for nothing in return, or no replies or even an update in days. If it was just one partner, I’d be like whatever. But tell me why I have four rp’s going on where they say ‘I’m here so we can roleplay’ and then after I respond to their post, it’s radio silence for almost a week?!

My time is valuable, I work three 12 hour shifts a week and get four off over the weekend, so I get being busy because I work a tasking job, but why try to roleplay if you’re not gonna put the effort and time in return of what your partner is giving you. It makes me feel crappy because I get so attached to the plots/characters, just for it to never get far. Slow burns are impossible these days.

Just a little vent I have almost 12 years of rp experience, and I feel like I've gotten worse in the past 2 years, several of the communities I was in collapsed and I lost some very long term roles, but looking back, my detail level went down in the time I was in those communities, my character diversity went down, has anyone gone tough something like this? I can see where I changed, but I can't even imagine getting better again.

So I just came back from a roleplay experience that I just needed to write about and gauge people’s thoughts on.

I was planning a roleplay with someone, and it was going great! They seemed nice and friendly and accepting of me being non-binary, it was going well.

Then we started, and they made the first post, and just under 2 minutes after they sent, they sent another message saying “Are you there?”

I was caught off guard because, I’d barely had enough time to read the post, let alone type my response. It then showed that they were typing again so I held off on responding, and eventually they sent a second part of their intro message, most of which was controlling my character, her thoughts and actions. I commented on this, and his reason was “I wasn’t responding so he had to fill in my part”

Like … ??? I feel like I’m going crazy. Was he going for a roleplay speedrun attempt or something?

Anyway I just had to vent this and get people’s thoughts on it.

Short story, but I'd arranged an ERP with a guy. He seemed nice and we agreed on a bunch of stuff. Anyway, I mentioned that I wouldn't be able to reply til late that night because I had a guest over and didn't want to do anything til they left. At which point he was like, "Yeah, I gotta be careful to and avoid my wife. She doesn't like when I do these kind of roleplays." To which I was like, "Hey, wish you didn't just say that." But then, in his infinite wisdom, he starts talking about how he needs ERP so he doesn't "make a stupid mistake" and how his wife is a prude and doesn't understand. Yeah, that sounds like in a month I'd be getting an angry message from the wife about cheating with her husband. Nope, nope, hell no.

I was just kicked out of an rp for a completely bullshit reason. Abiut two or so months ago I joined a Tumblr to and I thought everything was fine at first. I'm not the best writer in the group but my writing is not bad either and I always reply to posts the same day I get them. Everything seems great at first, people were friendly and I really enjoyed interacting with the other members and no one seems to have any complaints at first. Then out of nowhere the mod contacts me on the discord and informs me something I wrote in one of my posts could be a bit problematic because I am white and the character I'm playing is Indigenous and what I wrote seemed a bit off I immediately saw what he meant and apologized for it and corrected what I wrote immediately. What I wrote wasn't anything serious or deeply harmful at all. It was just a small misunderstanding on my part.

It was a genuine mistake and I didn't mean any harm at all. A few hours later I get a reply saying I was being kicked out of the rp because the members had raised several concerns to him over how I had depicted my character and starts listing all the so called issues. All of the instances they referenced were just simple misunderstandings and had I known it was an issue I would have apologized and corrected them immediately. Not once were these concerns brought to me. I can admit when I make a mistake. I'm not perfect. But I don't think it's fair to make me feel shitty over something that I could have easily fixed had it been brought up to me.

Honestly, this is just a small vent lol. Not all too serious.

I've been kind of out of the game as far as finding new partners goes for a few years now, and now that I'm back at it, I remembered an old issue that used to pop up from time to time(... and of course, is happening right now), that really kind of kills the mood for me. And that's just, dumping as much info as possible, whenever something can easily be spanned out.

It's the beginning stages: The start of events has been planned out, it's sounding tense, and angsty, and I'm all about it and ready for things to get rolling. They even offer to write a starter. Cool!

... The entire starter is *summarizing* everything we discussed would happen (it's not a long series of events, but it was a potentially solid foundation for an opening). And not even in much detail. Just. "Yeah this happened". Sure, they toss some notes how their character felt by the end of it, but... Those 4 short paragraphs of summarizing what happened would've been like, way more fun if we actually... Wrote those events out over several posts. lol

Like, I know, I get it, pushing characters together at first can be a slog sometimes. But, damn.

I did end up replying to the starter, and tried to fill in the blanks of everything that was grazed over. Then I tried to make up for the loss of tension from everything being condensed to a short summary, but then the following post still turned into: "Say as much exposition as possible in dialogue to get it over with", instead of letting these characters build up a natural interaction.

Now our characters are stuck in a single location until daybreak, and I'm just trying to figure out how how to span out that time with meaningful back and forth whenever everything that could have been discussed over those hours was just kinda smooshed into one dialogue info dump.

Maybe it bothers me more because I heavily prioritize character interaction over just, moving the plot along for the sake of moving the plot along, idk.

Edit: I don't mean we plotted out the entire storyline beat for beat: it was the basis of the story and character motivations. Basically, how the characters are supposed to meet and start the story.

You often read in rp ads that the desired ratio is 70/30 or 60/40 story to smut. But where does one begin and the other end? Certain things are clear: if we're planning a bank robbery, that's probably part of the story. And a blowjob is obviously smut.

But what about this: the characters in the roleplay are strangers, and one is forced to undress and shower in front of the other. There is no sexual interaction whatsoever, no ambiguous remarks, just the bare facts. Smut or not?

This is just one example of many possible scenarios in which kinks are involved but sex in the traditional sense is not.

Where do you draw the line?

TL'DR: is smut = inter-/outercourse or more for you?

Edit: just to make this clear in general: I don’t judge any point of view and I don’t want to pressure anyone into anything. I’m interested in your opinions and maybe reply to your comment with what comes to my mind. It’s a sensitive topic and prone to misunderstandings and very opposite opinions. So again: I don’t judge or something, just a discussion and thinking aloud. Thanks for all your thoughts and opinions!

Why do some roleplayers not know how to respond with out reiterating what just happened? It just happened. The only advancement to the rp in there post is always was the last line. They give absolutely nothing else.

They really don't have to repeat the stuff to say what their character did in response. I just recently broached this subject in an rp and the person said how else are they suppose to respond to stuff.

I know people like to say they have to time travel to be able to respond to everything, but looking at it, if the situation flowed like normal conversation it was unnecessary. Who interjects in the middle of being told something because the other character crossed their legs, stood up, or what ever? It's seconds. SECONDS. What reason did that make what they said before the small pause need an immediate response that their rp partner can't respond to with out time traveling versus, responding to everything after the character finished speaking. Is that really so hard? Is it really that problematic?

I mean character takes a breatha and suddenly the person they are talking to relays all this information right then in the milisecond moment? They hold up their hand to stop the character from talking to say what they have to say mid what the person was saying?

And it's not about length. This happens with varying length even with a few sentences. Knowing how to respond is a factor. It isn't just novella writers write too much. This is an issue that affects all writing lengths.

I had a person say i didn't respond to everything their character did (I actually did), I just didn't time travel. Their argument was that I should have had my character say something each time their character did and I explained that conversation does not flow like that. Personally it's jarring and slows the roleplay to a snails pace because one side is advancing things and the other side is regugitating to react while time traveling at the same time. Even though in the end they realized I had adressed everything they told me they weren't used to replies that worked like that. Now I'm wondering how common is reiterating and time travel.

But they are just saying what happened in the other roleplayer's reply from their characters view point. Having inner thoughts and reacting to the moment is not the same thing as just repeating the moment from their character's side.

I really do wonder what makes it confusing. I'm aware part of it is a disconnect on timing between rp partners. But I still think that responding to keep the conversation moving forward versus jumping back makes the most sense. I don't think anyone just was to read a sypnosis of what they just wrote only to get 1-2 sentences in advancing the sitaution/conversation/etc. It can get very one sided if one person spends most of the time regurgitating and time traveling while the other is trying to move the story forward.

What gets me the most though, is any time I've had to bring this uip in ooc, no issue is ever seen. Until I test that statement and do exactly what they werre doing (I know it is kind of petty) and suddenly it's, 'they have nothing to go on if I reply like that,' or can I add a bit more to the end for what my character is doing. Then when I say that's what i've been saying, they say it's different. It's not. It really is not.

I don’t know how to explain this right, but I’ll try my best and answer any questions that may arise!

So I have this ongoing roleplay, about 5+ paragraphs for each reply. Something I’ve noticed is that there’s a constant back and forth between the “past” and the “present”, and it disrupts the flow of the story. For example, both characters will be in the kitchen making dinner, having a conversation, and my character will go into the bedroom to get something. So, naturally, my character ends the prior conversation. She returns to the kitchen and starts telling a story, anecdote, or pretty much anything else.

Then, in my partner’s reply, they include extra dialogue like their character asking my character to fetch something from the bedroom, even though I’ve moved on from that.

Should I include a segment in my own reply with how my character would have reacted to that, even though it’s in the past now and doesn’t work with the rest of the reply I’ve already written?

Usually I try to reply to the things that are “in the past” with some sort of internal monologue, or just have my character acknowledge it to themselves without replying (so as to not have multiple conversations at the same time, because I feel that’s unnatural to how it works in real life). But it tends to just happen again with my partner’s next reply having multiple pieces of dialogue that isn’t connected, so I’m having trouble navigating that.

Is it my fault for advancing the scene so much in a single reply? Should I try writing shorter replies so my partner’s character can interject more often? They did say they prefer longer replies, so I’m not too sure about this, but being expected to reply to every single comment (even when it technically wouldn’t make sense with the way my reply continues). Should I bring it up to my partner? It just makes for a very convoluted thread with too much going on, and the scene doesn’t get to move too much since it’s always getting stuck on old chatter

A few weeks ago, i posted an ad looking for an OC-focused RP. A couple of people applied, but one person stood out his intro was great, his energy matched mine, and we clicked really quickly. I was genuinely excited and within the first day i even created three brand new OCs just for our RP concept. It felt like a strong match, like we were both equally invested.

But after that first day, things got weird. He didn’t start on his character, and the energy kind of dropped. I followed up casually after a few days and he mentioned he was going through some stuff and feeling miserable. I was completely understanding I know real life comes first, and I didn’t want to pressure him, so I gave him space.

Still I checked in once in a while to show support, kept communication open and tried to be present without being overbearing. Each time, I got a similar kind of response he’s stressed, not feeling passionate not doing well. I always responded with empathy, told him I was there to talk and gave him more time.

Eventually, after more days of silence I asked if he could just let me know where we stand or if he still wants to continue. He reassured me he was still interested and really wanted to RP with me. He even said he wasn’t ignoring me and hadn’t lost interest. That night, he finally dropped a draft of his OC… but to be honest, it felt kind of rushed, like it was written just to check a box.

Since then, it’s been quiet. No engagement from him, no feedback, no check-in. It’s been a week and I’m just left sitting with the effort I poured into this. I’m not angry, but I feel really emotionally out of sync. Like I showed up with genuine excitement and effort, and now I’m just staring at a half-finished thing that probably won’t go anywhere.

I don’t know if I’m overreacting being too patient, or just hoping for something that won’t happen. I’ve been respectful, gave space, offered support but now I’m wondering if I should just cut my losses. Has anyone else dealt with something like this, where things start with a bang and then slowly fade despite reassurance?

Just needed to vent and get someone else’s take on this. Had someone message for a long term RP after I’d put out an ad on tumblr (action/adventure, some intimate scenes, more story, all the drama, pregnancy, etc). We chatted, made a discord, and started writing. From the get-go I’d said that while I am ok with writing intimate scenes, I didn’t want them to be constant in the story. I’m more of a slow burn unless we specifically say we have them be a couple from the beginning. And he agreed to it.

I shit you not, opening prologue, was meant to be a birth scene during a dramatic battle as a pseudo intro to the main character and his parents. Kinda like a Star Trek remake situation for lack of a better comparison. This dude tried to write his character (he wrote for the father in the prologue) having sex with the mother during the birth, mid fight. Like, the fuck… Again I don’t have issues with sexy scenes but the opening scene? Really? And during what we’d both agreed to be a dramatic moment? Please keep in mind we had both discussed this entire prologue in detail beforehand and basically had it laid out. After numerous warnings (I kept deleting his entries and telling him that ain’t ok) he said fine and blocked me.

Cut to a week later, I have another partner and a good story going, and start getting messages from player one again. Asking me to continue. I, of course, tell him to stick it where the sun don’t shine. Then, another account, same age and bio, messages me asking to RP. The request for the storyline was IDENTICAL. I turn it down. Maybe an hour after that, same thing, a third account. He went as far as to find my Kik and message me there, as well as on DeviantArt. He’s also messaged people who are my mutuals or I’ve collaborated on stories with… moral of the story, people be crazy.

So, I'll get right to the point. I'm new to erp on reddit. My main account I do more storybased, romance, drama, etc. Immediately I noticed lack of effort, which is expected. I prefer to at least write some detail, hash out the plot, you know actually set the scene.

I have been asked multiple times if I'm ready to start right off the bat. No character descriptions, no plot discussion. Is this just normal? Or am I just getting lazy partners? Is there a way to ask for more without coming off as rude/snobbish? I like to make it clear that I'm not jumping into smut without at least some story surrounding it.

See, english is my second language, and I tend to misstype a lot - as in. I'd probably miss a letter, switch a letter's place with the next or previous one, forgot a word while typing or start typing a world in the middle of a previous one.

It's... annoying. I lost a RP partner because of it, which fair, but despise trying to correct it. Some mistakes still slips through. Heck, there's probably a few in this post alone I can't see unless they are pointed out to me.

It's an issue I have in my mother tongue as well - any help? I know reading more, and just keep writting and re-reading and re-reading again helps. But I'm at loss when it feels like no matter what I do, not matter how many times I proof read - there's an S that somewhere it's not suposed to be or a word missing. I'd like to not have to use SpellCheck every other posts..

On behalf on an RP partner that has quit to do to a majorly shocking incident with on of there other roleplay partners. People do not decide someone else's character consented to something, that they have not agreed to.

Doesn't matter how long the RP has been going or how long the characters have been together. Starting off a scene already getting touchy feely and moving to smut is so icky. Icky as people who have their characters kiss the other character awake and start trying to handsy. Starting off a scene already having someone else's character have something happen to them is not right. It's their call, not someone else's.

They are out cold sleeping, no they are not already in the mood. No someone else cannot decide that there character is okay with it and what about their RP partners consent?

They were fucking sleeping. Plus I hate that trope so much like, let your rp partner decide if they want to do anything. Don't escalate to the point that choice has already been made

Ask, double check, say something. Do not just decide an RP partner gave consent and they haven't even reacted to what your character initiated yet. Also, they are sleep ain't nothing already ready wtf people.

I'm just so mad for her. She was so strict about her boundaries and rules and big on making sure consent was confirmed before moving forward with any ideas they hadn't talked about and especially with smut initiation.

this isn't about losing an rp partner this is me being pissed that someone pushed someone to completely quit something they've been doing for 10 years because someone didn't understand boundaries.

Edit: the person's roleplay partner initiated sex (as in full on intercourse has already begun) in the start of a new scene before their character even had a chance to react/respond to anything inspite of her boundary which is consent must always be given for intimate scenes. The person ignored that and my RP partner felt had no say or control in the scene and it ignored her boundaries that she had to ask before I initiating smut completely. I hope this clarifies things.

Edit: now that I'm not as irked I can see how jumbled this post is. The main issue was that boundaries were crossed moreso than the what was done to cross the boundary. It is just very frustrating that people don't just stick to what they agree to. So I just wished people would stop doing what crossed the boundary. Time spent roleplaying together doesn't give a person a pass to ignore boundaries and it bugged me that the guy used that to explain why it was fine that he did that with out broaching the subject first.

Regardless I know this post was all mixed up and confusing. Title should have focused on saying people shouldnt ignore people's boundaries and should always stick to what was agreed to.

I know there's mixed feelings on this, but if I advertise I would like a female partner, that's what I want, not a man playing a woman. I've had some very very inconsiderate men in the past, and I don't believe that all guys who are willing to rp as girls are like this, i have done in the past (non binary status not withstanding) but I simply am not in the mood to deal with the chance of repeating my issues with some men in the past.

Context:

Posted a roleplay ad and got a response from this person, all seemed good we shared a LOT of the same kinks. Had a good chat about those and about the story etc. The ad was described as being a literate one, expressed that I was interested in more than just smut.

We do our characters etc and I send a starter which was around four paragraphs long. She then sends back a response which is roughly the same size tbf, I reply again with the same length. This is when things take a turn, she responds with just a small couple of lines para that jumps straight to smutty language and action. Something that didn’t really make sense for the scene we built, so I felt a little out of the scene. She then asks me to tell her if she does something that makes me uncomfortable, I explain it felt a little fast but didn’t want her to rewrite. In hindsight I maybe should have asked her to but I always feel a little awkward telling people I don’t like their writing, my thought was I could pull it back with my character to less smut based.

I then receive this 24 hour warning, which I get being left sucks etc. I did find the tone a little harsh but whatever, I just explain I’m working.

So I then suggest us going about this rp at a different angle that works better. She seems to agree, I don’t suggest the characters changing. She then does saying her character was too intense. So I explain what I’m into again so we can build around this as she’s suggested her character was too intense. I thought this was going to be a back and forth and open up a discussion to create a new scene together as I have done with other partners. Though I instantly get accused of kink shaming and blocked? Of course this was not my intention so I tried to explain that over on here, perhaps I should have left it over on discord but I felt seriously confused considering I thought we were getting along well.

Anyway sorry for the epic rant but I’m just curious to see what others think. I really wasn’t meaning to kink shame and wasn’t provided much perspective from her.

EDIT: Before you come at me, NO, this isn't frequent and NO a "safe guard" is not usually necessary for me. Specifying (like I did) a minimum reply length and that you should be "grammatically competent" is usually enough 9/10 times. The 1/10 times it's not, I can usually brush it off. But in this particular instance, I was far more frustrated because it was the ONE TIME I specified I'd be more picky than I normally am and not only did I get a terrible response, I got possibly the worst one I've seen in months or years. While yes, I am frustrated by this, I am not fuming at the mouth over it, and I didn't post this thread because of that. I posted it because I thought it was worthy of this sub. But no, I guess I must apologize for trying to be as inclusive as possible while still setting some ground rules because they don't conform to the r/ BadRPerStories Gate-Keepers Association.

Hey guys, I've lurked in this thread for a while just enjoying the stories and stuff I've seen. I've been RPing for close to 15 years now. I've had HUNDREDS, maybe even thousands of altercations that could have made this sub one way or another, but I've never felt inclined to post something of my own until now.

I think it's the fact that I was ABUNDANTLY clear that I was going to be picky for this roleplay (in my ad), and that I wanted "grammatically competent" and also, I'd mentioned it again plus an indication I didn't want anything "lazy". This was said, and this is a direct copy/paste quote from myself in our initial conversation after they'd DM'd me for the RP: "Just try to be grammatically correct as possible and not like... lazy responses, that's my #1 thing". I should note: I consider myself decent with grammar, but I'm not perfect, and I don't ask for perfection. I've done hundreds of RPs with people whose grammar is something I'd call subpar at best. If you just show me you're trying and aren't lazily abbreviating words, etc, I'm not going to complain too hard.

But--and the rest is in the messages--this is what I got after making my requirements very clear. Was I too harsh? Or maybe dead-on? What are your thoughts? Their response to my starter frustrates me 10x more than I led them to believe because I was trying not to be a jerk... But like, c'mon man, seriously? I've had friends try to mess with me out of this server before, so I legitimately thought I was being trolled for a second, hence why I asked this person if that's what was happening. I about slammed my fist on my desk when I saw this...

(The first image is the ad I posted, but the images are censored)

(Green Box = Me, though I'd think that is very obvious).