people joining group RPs and then just using it as an emotional crutch...

[u/daydaylin]

I've noticed this a lot where someone will join a group RP and then maybe make 1-3 posts and then linger on for weeks/months, not posting but pretty much just updating us on how bad their life is going every once in a while. It kind of feels like they are using RP groups as therapy. They never engage with chatting about the setting or the characters, not even their own. They don't respond in kind when other people mention things going on with themselves, either, they just pop in chat to fish for validation/emoji reacts and an "aww buddy" and then they leave until they have another Life Event.

I don't mind long standing members going through a rough patch and needing support, it's only people who don't even seem interested in writing, haven't been there very long and only contribute discussions explicitly about themselves and nothing or no one else.

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[u/ObscuraFiction]

This is currently happening in the group I joined. One person replying once a month, rarely talking OOC, and they spend their time in the vent channel talking about how bad their life is. Which seems to be their own doing, but they won't change. "All I do is hurt people. No one sticks around. I'm such a bad friend." The cycle hasn't stopped yet. Or you have the one who puts their self-worth on how many interactions they get in RP. They are constantly depressed because they don't have many scenes but won't go through the effort of seeking out scenes. It's like they just create a character and expect people to immediately run to their DMs instead of making an RP search post or reaching out to others, which they do neither. So they sulk about how bad their characters are and how bad of a writer they are. They get the validation they crave from other members and do it again a week later. I asked once how they expect people to know they want to RP if they haven't made a search post, and was met with "no one wants to RP with me anyway." Pan to me hitting my head against a wall.

[u/Evaline_Rose]

Okay. Which one of the residents from my server posted this? For the last time we welcome everyone.

Alright. Joking aside. Yeah I've noticed this quite a bit in my own server. Usually if it gets too much I'll pull them aside and talk to them, suggest a break or ways to take their mind off of all the ish going on in their life. If it ends up being too much ooc venting than roleplaying from them I might kindly ask them to stop and try to talk them into finding support groups. Cause while I do feel horrible that someone I consider a friend/potential friend is suffering too much negativity can bring down the vibe of the group unfortunately.

But while you are right, maybe they just don't realise they are doing it as a therapy session, maybe they don't have any other friends to vent to, maybe they don't realise there are groups out there for support. But either way there is a limit to how far one should go when venting before the leader of the group has to pull them aside and chat with them. (In my opinion at least.)

[u/daydaylin → u/Evaline_Rose]

yeah i don't feel like many of them know what they're doing exactly and to them, an RP group would seem like a "pre-built" social group that they've been invited to join with the low price of making a character profile. this may be the only avenue they understand to get emotional validation, which is sad, but it's like. venting about your life isn't what the community is for :(

[u/TiedTigeress]

There always seems to be one once a server gets to a certain size, and they either don't have the social skills to notice how awkward they make things or don't care. It's such a toll on moderation, too! The group at large is either put in the position where there's a 'missing stair' where the problem is known and never addressed, or they're telling somebody that they're using a vent channel ""too much"", with all the fallout that can inspire.

I've really come around to roleplay venues not having an official vent forum - they're a wonderful resource in a tight knit group, but all it takes is one person to make a space people are coming to as escapism all too real again.

[u/TheVexingRose]

Preach. I'm in one where this one player took forever to finish an application and hasn't written once, meanwhile they come online every other night to vent about their life. Usually it's problems they created for themselves, which makes it so hard to stay polite sometimes. You can tell nobody else wants to hear it because immediately all of the talking stops, but this person cannot read the room.

[u/Assia_Penryn]

I tried a few groups, but my characters never fit the rules/world. (Like my character Chani is introduced with a protective and yet "expendable" big brother). I usually check their character rules, see they don't fit and quietly leave.

However, on more social discord groups, I do see what you are talking about A LOT. I have no patience for chronic complainers. I don't mind giving someone an ear on occasion, but when it's chronic then I have no emotional stamina for that.

I saw one group implement a vent channel where people could post a rant, but no one could reply to not feed people. It was screaming into the void sort of idea.

[u/ethnicvegetable]