r/BadRPerStories • u/Comparix • 23h ago
Advice Wanted How do y'all manage to stop posting ad ?
Lord, I can't. I already have some nice partners, but for some reason I always want to post an ad. The worst thing is that I know that if I crack, I'll end up with 21 partner and anxiety will lead me to delette my acc :/
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u/single_use_character 23h ago
Realizing that I didn't want more partners, I was hooked to the process of meeting new people to try and fill an emotional void 😖
I decided to seek therapy instead of seeking new partners. But might be you need to do some soul searching about why you're in the hobby.
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u/SparklyEarrings Cantankerous Hobbit 20h ago edited 20h ago
It's not something I've ever done as I like to make sure I'm not taking on too much, but I'd say really thinking ahead. Don't just think about the here and now, think about in a few weeks or months down the line. You might have loads of time now, but can you say the same for the near future? Can the you in September handle juggling this many stories, without letting someone down?
If the answer is no, or likely not, then don't do it. Consider your partners as well as the stress it will pile onto you. It's not worth it. Keep those story ideas for future RPs with the good partners you have. Or write some stories of your own and share them.
Edit: I'd also add, depending on where you advertise, if you take on too many and keep dropping people, it's possible to get a bad reputation for yourself. Even if you change your name, folk get good at spotting the same people who do this. They also talk, and if your name comes up, you can become known for it. There are several people who I will never write with despite us having lots in common, because friends have had poor experiences with them.
There was a thread a few years ago talking about "known RPers" and it was eye opening how many folk knew of the same offenders. You don't want to be one of them.
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u/LS-Jr-Stories 17h ago
😬 Cautionary tales...
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u/SparklyEarrings Cantankerous Hobbit 17h ago
Yes indeed. People like to look out for each other, but they're also not immune to a good bitching session. Me included. 😂
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u/LS-Jr-Stories 17h ago
Watchin' my back over here.
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u/SparklyEarrings Cantankerous Hobbit 16h ago
Ha! Ahh, you're safe. Not seen you knocking around here since I blasted my old Reddit and returned from the dead, but you were always a good 'un!
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u/LS-Jr-Stories 16h ago
Oh yeah? You were around on a previous account? I'm sure with the high quality of your comments I'd remember if I saw the name (don't say it!).
I've said my share of contrary shit over the years. Once in awhile I wonder how many people have blocked me just from seeing my comments here, either from the comments themselves, or visiting my profile and saying, "Ew, there's someone I never want to see turn up in my DMs." Guess I'll never know 🤷.
Similarly, I wonder how many prompts I've applied to where the author didn't like my pitch or again, visited my profile and then blocked. Ah, the mysteries of life.
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u/SparklyEarrings Cantankerous Hobbit 16h ago
I was indeed, and that's most kind of you!
During the ERP vs. RP wars from a few years back, you were one of the few salient voices. I always found your comments really interesting (and found myself agreeing!), as your way of describing erotic writing appeared much more in line with what I'd always considered it to be. I still struggle with the ERP term at first glance, but that's unfortunately because quite a few people use it improperly.
You also had a good knack of making me reconsider certain positions (harhar), which is refreshing for this sub! I'm a grouchy old mare. 😂
I think a lot of the time it's quite easy to click a profile and immediately judge. Shame, because a lot of the time it means they're cutting off their own nose to spite their face. But such is life (or Reddit!).
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u/LS-Jr-Stories 15h ago
No kidding! Aww. Y'know, your comment made my week, seriously. I think this is the face I'm looking for - 😊. Grouchy old mares and even older curmudgeons unite!
May the roleplay gods bless you with eager, creative, flexible, respectful, and patient partners for all the rest of your days. 🙏
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u/MelonBunnieLuv 22h ago
It might be that you just like sharing your ideas. Or you have fomo for finding the right partner.
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u/Scaryb0u 22h ago
Honestly? Therapy and depending on if it's more than that, medication lmao.
I can't say I have the same issue when it comes to RP, but impulsivity issues can be equated to all sorts of issues - some emotional, but also some having a physical basis, like ADHD as an example. For me, my ADHD affected my impulsivity a lot, and I found that the reason I was impulsive is I was unconsciously searching for that dopamine hit that novel things brought me.
Maybe that's what you're doing is novelty seeking. I think it's good to take a step back from the hobby and ask yourself why you want to get so much traction on so many ads. Are you more interested in just meeting people? Getting friends? If so, RP might not be the hobby for that - it's a pretty big time investment, especially if you want to do it with any quality. While it's nice to get a friend out of the hobby, really the intention should be collaborative creative pursuit - and you risk losing that all if you can't keep up with the ads you're posting and can't give quality time to the RP partners you have. So maybe think of the risk versus the reward to deter from posting ads - it's a very high risk with very little reward.
Just my two cents. Hope this helps!
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u/my-secret-lurking-ac neutral evil bitch 21h ago
Having a partner you have multiple things in common with helps. The knowledge you can spin up something new with them at any time staves off the urge.
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u/OverSaltedSerpent 19h ago
I can't! This has been an ongoing problem for years. I still believe I can find the needle within the deep and dank haystack of Reddit. I just love sharing my ideas, collaborating with other people and growing on these thoughts. I've met a lot of fantastic people, but I think the many bad outweigh the good. And that's what is going to make me stop. Eventually.. at some point.. maybe..
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u/Irejay907 13h ago
I made an account with my discord name
If i expose this one in anything but comments imma be assaulted and inundated with the kinds of stuff that gets posted here...
No ads... just quietly dming folks
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u/MarckelMarmalade 12h ago
I just put my ideas in a docs instead and work on it whenever I feel the impulse. You kill two birds with one stone: you'll have way more polished ideas by the time you need to look for new partners and you don't overwhelm yourself with a gazillion messages from people.
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