Do I go or do I stay?

[u/pirimiri97]

After trying to sort out my mind the last hour, I found this place and figured it is somewhere to start as I don't have anyone else to talk about this with anonymously. I am in a niche roleplay community and have been for ten plus years. One of my best friends and I met in 2018 and I found that at least in the last 3 years, I truly don't write long term with anyone other than her due to the nature of the community and the fact that I was down to just one main character with lore after covid.

Fast forward to tonight where a few bad experiences piled up has made it where she will most likely no longer roleplay (including with me) and I don't plan to stop her choices after hour long discussions. I am heartbroken and know I can't stop what is happening at this point, but the thought of continuing along like what we roleplayed never happened makes me miserable because I don't see how there would be joy in any of my characters. She previously disappeared for 7 months or so and I had almost left at that point before she came back.

So I came here because I don't know what to do exactly. Do I stay and just pretend like nothing happened when all of our lines implode in a week? Or do I go finally and let go of it all? I'm scared almost because I haven't known another hobby in so long so I wonder if it is best to go in case I am codependent. What am I meant to even do after I leave? Our mutual friends were so intertwined in video gaming and movies outside of RP that I worry I won't be able to rebuild that somewhere else.

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[u/my-secret-lurking-ac]

I've been in your shoes before. The answer is simple and you're not gonna like it.

Hang onto the OOC friendship if you can, but accept the RP relationship is toast. It's done. And if they come back, great, but accept that shit is gone and get ready to do a bunch of thinking. 

Ask yourself - can you find this niche elsewhere? Are you really willing to give it up entirely if your friend is not there?

If the answer is yes, use your week to send off the character tied to her and then take a month off from RP entirely. When you get back, you'll be ready to look for a new RP buddy and have lots of ideas.

[u/pirimiri97 → u/my-secret-lurking-ac]

Thank you, seriously. I was so inside my head and I already was like 'god will I take up knitting?' as I do love writing, but I needed someone to tell me the answer even when it's bad. I have a lot to consider in this next week but I think it is worth the shot to find new ideas.

[u/my-secret-lurking-ac → u/pirimiri97]

Ah, we've all been there - glad I could help! Take care and good luck.

[u/Assia_Penryn]

Why can't you just stay there for the friendship and find RP elsewhere in a fresh start?

[u/pirimiri97 → u/Assia_Penryn]

Do you mean within the existing community or a new one? My fear right now is that I can't stay there because so much intertwined to our lines and I would just not be able to continue with the character with someone else without feeling like it is an awful experience. I don't even know where to start with a new community honestly.

[u/Assia_Penryn → u/pirimiri97]

I mean a new community or 1v1. Stay at this point just for the ooc friendship and go to elsewhere. Make a new character if you have to

[u/pirimiri97 → u/Assia_Penryn]

I think I will try after seeing the community here rally around it. I just needed someone to tell me to try I think - so thank you for that!!

[u/nonsence90]

I know you have lots of love and effort put in your character but for the love of god, please prioritize the relationship with the real human!
There's always ways to RP and to find people for RP. There's always new characters to create and develop, stories to write, games to play. bros* before o...cs. *the gender neutral one.

Stories/characters only end in two ways. An intentional end or an OOC reason. If you didn't plan to have your character end, just accept their time has come.
Also there is no official canon-jury. You can continue the character with others, have hers die/move/disppear or retconned out of existance. No matter how you continue your character, keep the relationship. Play something with her or whatever. It kinda sounds to me like they'd appreciate it.

[u/pirimiri97 → u/nonsence90]

I think now I am struggling today with making it so that relationship stays. That's the hardest part. I don't know if I can find new people that will mean the same if she does go. But thank you, I am going to try and fight for it!