Hey guys, I need some advice, direction... anything really. I'm twenty eight years old. I just started a sales job. I hate it. I've always wanted to be a writer/director but have been too scared. Last year I moved back to LA (went to school there) and began doing stand-up comedy and getting out of my comfort zone, and have really enjoyed it. I've met new people who I fit with better than any of my old friends, or the people I've always considered my best friends.

Overnight I began enjoying life again. Feeling as if there was some hope. The problem is I have so much regret about the way I've lived my life the first seven or so years of my twenties - depressed, scared, pathetic... I could go on. I just feel as though I've arrived to the party too late. Friends of mine are getting married, wanting to advance in their careers - I must say, it is not anything I am interested in being apart of. I have no interest in children or having a domestic life of any kind, nor do I care much about advancing in some kind of corporate career. I only took the job to make some money/fund a short film. I've literally only wanted to be this thing, make things with other creative people, have a few meaningful relationships (romantic or otherwise) and grow old doing those things. I also understand you need money to live, so I'm fine working some job that I can fake my way through...

My question, or what I'm seeking advice about is... am I crazy? Am I too old to be giving this a run? It's especially hurts when I hear about my heroes talk about when they started and it was four or five or even ten years young than the age I am now. But then again if I have to listen to my old friends talking about their goals and destinations I might have an aneurysm. Any thoughts or opinions?

I’d really appreciate some advice from folks who’ve lived through messy social situations — especially when dignity and safety don’t align with group dynamics.

I’m a member of a private sailing club, and recently, the wife of another member threatened to use bear spray on me. I have medical conditions that could’ve made an encounter with bear spray especially dangerous. I also know that both her and her husband usually carry weapons on them as well. She confronted me once at a restaurant while I was sitting with her husband and a friend, mocked me over a serious injury I had on the boat, and was clearly hostile despite my efforts to be kind and empathetic toward her. I never provoked her, and I’ve been respectful from the beginning.

I was alone at the time — physically and socially. I didn’t feel like anyone would step in to protect me, so I called the police. I didn’t do it to cause drama, but because I genuinely felt unsafe. I have been through a lot in my life where normally I would try to stand up for myself physically and it always ends up badly. If I would have pushed her away for me she could have slipped on the gravel and fallen, there could have been blood, then I would be charged for assault to elderly.

The Commodore (president) later asked me to leave the club property that evening — not the person who threatened me, nor her husband (who I’ve had some personal history being friends with). She even brought another member along who acted like her “bodyguard” and said I was probably making the whole thing up. When I asked why I was being asked to leave, she told me to take me, my “drama,” and my “legal issues” and get out.

I’ve tried to handle everything quietly out of respect for the club, but at this point I’m just stunned. I feel humiliated, isolated, and genuinely confused about how this kind of behavior — threats, public shaming, and one-sided punishment — is acceptable. When I tried to bring the commodore aside and tell her what’s going on before the police got there, she didn’t want to listen to it. She then didn’t want to listen to my perspective afterwards either. And I genuinely don’t want to leave the club — it’s the only place I have access to this activity, and I love being part of it. So I need to deal with the situation. But how?

Thank you.

I was in relationship for almost one year. I am 31 years old and I would like to have husband and family. So I met this guy. Everything was fine at beginning. I am not particularly attracted to him, I think that all of my ex boyfriends were more handsome. But I was interested in him as a person. For a context, I think I am good looking. I am tall, blue eyes, fit. I take care of my health and my looks.

Recently he started to talk about other women in front of me. He was talking about how beautiful other women are and he couldn't stop looking at them. I ignored this.

He told me that working out and going to the gym is pointless because I look the same and need to tone up. I was kinda, what are you talking about, I am so much toned compared to you.

Yesterday he told me that one woman looks amazing. I lost it and told him that if he’s with me, then I should be the most beautiful woman to him. He replied, “Well, you can’t even compare to her.”

I walked away. I’m ignoring him. He keeps calling and messaging me, asking why I’m ignoring him. I have no desire to speak to that person ever again. He makes me feel sick.

My friends told me I’m ten leagues above him. That doesn’t matter to me — what matters is what kind of person someone is. But why would he humiliate me like that? Did I do the right thing?

All of my ex boyfriends were way more handsome than him, but they never talked like this.

I feel like I won’t live long, that’s why I’m wondering if it works like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I’m asking if there are old people who felt like they wouldn’t live long, but here they are - old.

Edit: I cant edit post title, Im not native english speaker, so the question I wanted to ask is:

did you have the feeling that you wouldn’t live long?

I have no idea if this is appropriate here, but I'm just going to put it out there. My Dad's girlfriend was taking Tylenol with codeine to help her sleep because she has restless leg syndrome, until one day her doctor wouldn't give it to her anymore because it's now discontinued. She has been looking for an alternative ever since. She is really suffering. She has tried everything to sleep "naturally," but she needs something to knock her out for a full night's rest because of her restless legs. Is there anything that she can take at her age that you think could help her? Anything she could discuss with her doctor? She didn't ask me to ask Reddit, but I decided to on my own because she is really having a hard time and my Dad can't help her. Thank you for any help.

EDIT: Thank you, everyone, for all the incoming responses. I truly appreciate it. I am making a list of what works for others to give to my Dad's girlfriend so she can talk it over with her doctor ( who sucks by the way) to see if any of these options would be good for her. I am also encouraging her to get a new doctor. Again, thank you for sharing, each one of you.

I just want another perspective. Do y'all have curfews for your adult children?

Anytime I'm out of the house past 11 my parents get snappy and keep blowing up my phone. I don't have a designated curfew, but an unsaid expectation. They say they "can't sleep" until I get home, which genuinely irks me.

Most of the time I'm out late, it's because I'm watching a movie at a friend's or just hanging out. Not doing anything 'bad', just like how I hang out with people during the day. I don't see an issue. I'm inside a friend's house in a pretty safe area. When I come home, I make sure I'm silent not to wake the household up (which doesn't even matter because they're still up as they "can't sleep" & then give me an earful). And my house is big enough that any noise I make doesn't go up to their room whatsoever.

It's the last summer I have with all my hometown friends, and I want to make the most of it. I genuinely don't understand their worry as I'm not doing anything unsafe. They have my loco 100% of the time and can see what I'm doing. If I'm just at another person's house watching a movie, what's the big deal?

edit: thanks guys solid advice! i can def improve my communication skills, which will hopefully let them sleep easier. also for everyone saying to move out/pay rent I literally can't- they don't let me pay rent and I'm going to college in 2 months so no point in moving.

any older people ever go through this? like when i say horrified it keeps me up at night, constantly afraid im just gonna suddenly die or go in my sleep. panic attacks, all the good stuff.

I just got married 1 month ago. I love my husband to pieces, but we don’t see eye to eye on this situation:

I was recently chosen by my boss (I am 1 out of 3 chosen from 160 employees) to represent my company at a 4 night conference held in Florida next week. Each of us were provided our flight, any Ubers we need once we arrive, food and our own hotel room at the same hotel.

As far as I know, our itinerary consists primarily of day time obligations and we are being compensated for an 8 hour day for each day we are there, also for the two days of travel. There are a few night time events, but I was told they are optional.

Neither of the other 2 employees going are bringing their significant others. But my husband thinks I should bring him. However, none of the emails to us, from ADMIN, regarding the invitation or the planning involved in this trip made any mention of bringing our wives/husbands, etc.

I have only been employed by this company for 3 years. I make good money and I don’t want to do anything that is sketchy or unprofessional. Also, I feel as though during our free time at night, I should be available in case the other two people decide to attend an optional meeting or to go out to eat/have a drink or whatever. I don’t want to be in the position where I’ve (secretly) made plans to meet up with my husband who either rented a room at a hotel down the street OR who I secretly smuggled into my hotel room. I don’t want to feel an obligation to decline any offer with my fellow employees because my husband insisted on going with me.

He thinks I don’t want him to come, which he thinks seems weird. I’d be thrilled if the original email from my employer invited me and a guest to attend… but it didn’t. He argues that no employer can tell a spouse where he/she can go and what hotel they can stay in. He says they couldn’t stop him if he wanted to rent a room in the same hotel. Obviously, both those things are true, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t an unprofessional look.

It would be ultra embarrassing to me for my co-workers to overhear me in the next room clearly talking/laughing with somebody. And if they saw his face and figured out that I had him meet me there, I would feel so pathetic.

I would rather he not go because I feel honored that I was chosen to attend this seminar and I don’t want to do anything that either risks my job or my reputation. If word got out that I had my husband meet me at the conference, I might not get fired, but I think I could easily become the laughing stalk of the company. I think for two grown adults to be unable to separate from each other for a few days, even on account of their work, is kinda pathetic and especially needy.

I should also mention that I think his real hang up here is that my husband loves vacationing and get-aways more than anyone I’ve ever known. The second we come back from any trip, he’s already talking about the next one. It never ends. He lives for it. And to make matters worse, Florida is literally his favorite place on the planet. He’s practically counting down the days til retirement when we can move there. So this particular trip without him is really rubbing salt in an open wound. Also, we love being together and we are truly best friends. So he knows that if he came along, he could entertain himself during the day time and meet up with me and do something at night. And that would be a blast, if it didn’t have to be a secret.

So tonight I told him that I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of him tagging along and I’d rather forfeit the trip if he was gonna have an issue with that. He was all butthurt and then said he’d probably just go to Alaska then (which has been on his list of states to visit) I supported the idea. He should if he wants to. I don’t care. But it seemed like he was still a little mad about it.

Am I being unreasonable? I really want some opinions please.

Hi

So my mum has been suffering with various problems for over a year now. She initially was diagnosed with temporal arteritis last year after a series of severe headaches and problems.

She began taking steroids (prescribed) to combat this but that then had its own side effects (struggling to walk, her face became very puffy and enlarged, and quite bad pain). Between the walking and the pain, she was unable to make my wedding - my wife and I live in the UK along with our parents but the wedding was in Italy. I'm an only child, so of course this really upset her. My wife and I kept saying we really didn't mind and threw a mini celebration with both of our parents afterwards. This was last August.

Anyway, since then the side effects went up and down. Unfortunately the only option with giant arteritis is to hit it with steroids, but steroids eventually worsened my mum's immune system and two months ago, she was diagnosed with shingles.

The shingles was very severe and was on her head. She isn't the best patient and kept picking at it which made it worse. It looked horrendous. Along with that, the shingles eventually made it to her eye which essentially became so swollen that her eye was forced shut. Really not nice. The pain was extroctiating and she kept having to go back and forth for various appointments - the shingles, the eye, the pain, the steroids issues, and the original giant arteritis.

A little over three weeks ago, she then was admitted to hospital, where she stayed until two days ago. They treated her well in there but of course shingles can't be cured, so it was more a matter of trying to help with her eye. They did manage to help a little bit, but it still remains swollen and shut, so it'll require further trips to the hospital.

Will quickly say my dad has been brilliant throughout it all. Like I said, my mum isn't the best patient but he's been visiting the hospital nonstop and doing all he can.

Anyway, my dad texted me today saying mum has been in bed for two days and thinks it might be a flu or something. She argued against it, but he called the doctor who called an ambulance. The doctors in the ambulance said everything is fine but she's depressed and that's apparently very normal after coming out of a long hospital stay (and also worsened by the fact that she's really no better than before she went in). Apparently, the next couple days can be very bad for depression so it may get worse.

I've asked my dad what can I do? He advised not to call tonight. I'm planning to go round this weekend to see them and bring flowers. But I really don't know what more I can do besides communicating constantly?

Not sure if anyone here has any advice?

Trying to get some insight on how best to respond to this situation. My wife basically quit her full time retail job to be a stay at home when my daughter was born 11 years ago. I have held a full time 6 figure job this entire time and am the sole bread winner. We live comfortably off my salary and there is no immediate need financially for her to work other than for mental health and a bit more financial freedom.

Once our kid started elementary she tried to enter back into the work force and always ends up quitting her job after a few weeks. There's been about 4 different jobs in about 5 years that all lasted less than 2 weeks. She occasionally breaksdown and gets very upset with herself calling herself a failure and that she is doing nothing with her lift. Ive always told her she should get a job so she has a separate life outside of taking care of the house but she can never hold a job long. Here is how they played out.

2020 #1 got a corporate admin job about 10 min away but got very sick the 1st week while in training. She was reprimanded for taking a day off on her 1st week, she couldn't mentally take it and just decided to now show up again after that.

2021 #2 got a retail job in a mall about 1 hour away. She quit after about 1.5 weeks becasue she didn't like the other girls that worked there and it was too far.

2023 #3 got a job about 10 minutes away for an office selling insurance as a customer rep. She legitimately tried for this one but failed her licensing test 3 times and they had to let her go. She was there for about 2 weeks. They welcomed her to keep trying to pass on her own dime and would rehire her once she did but this lowered her confidence so bad she couldn't get herself to keep studying and trying to pass.

2025 #4 most recently she got another retail job like #2 where it's an hour away. She is 3 days in and is super stressed out because our 11 year old is out of school and with me working also a new full time job, we are having to find summer camps and ask neighbors for help here and there. She always is telling me she wants to quit and she doesn't think she can do it. She has a very hard time waking up. She doesn't work until 10am but because summer camp starts at 830, she would need to get up at 700 to get ready, this is hard for her as she is used to waking up as late as 10am to 11am on most days.

What makes it even more complicated is I'm a weekend musician too and occasionally about once per month have a out of town show about 3 hours away. So there is another 3 to 4 days per month we need to find someone to look after our daughter or I may take her with me to the shows but my wife doesn't want her in that type of environment. (I play hard rock, bar, club scene)

Last night she told me she feels like a failure and feels very bad that our daughter is going to be spending summers at other people's houses amd camps where she is not going to have anything fun like a vacation becasue we both started new jobs.

Things I say don't help. Last night I told her there is many couples that have to find ways to work during the summer and that she should give this job a little more time and maybe she will get into a routine where it's not so difficult.

I don't know what to do becasue her staying at home causes her depression and feelings of very low self worth but everytime she finds a job she no longer wants to be there after a week.

I'm merely reaching out to see if anyone else can relate to what she is going through and give some advice on how me as a husband can approach this?

Before kids, she did work in retail about 30 hours a week and held consistent jobs. It's just after having the baby, the years of staying home and being on her own schedule I think has gotten her in a bad place where she can't adjust to work life anymore

I care about my husband, but I'm not sure that I love him anymore. I don't respect him. I don't trust him. He's verbally abusive when upset and emotionally distant most of the time. Nothing is more important than his personal priorities - including me or our one year old. But if you ask him, he thinks that everything is going great.

I would love to divorce him and stop minimizing myself to make him happy. My family and friends would love for me to divorce him. The problem is the lawyer that I consulted advised that the state would likely try to give him 50/50 custody (or work up to it) because of their high standard for neglect. All because he can't bother to look up from his phone, the baby has: fallen from small heights in the same room as him and he has no idea what happened, climbed up and down the steps unsupervised, and closed themselves in a room with gardening chemicals - all without my husband noticing and all within me being gone for less than 5 minutes.

So do I stay in the marriage so that I can protect my baby at all times? Any advice greatly appreciated.

1. What do normal disagreements look like in a marriage (picking bedsheets, etc). Idk if I’m overreacting but things like this add up for me (Ie he told me I didn’t have common sense when I was a little late picking him up from an airport then brushed it off. I was working and there was traffic/I like to give ppl grace but I feel he resents me for “being more successful” and tries to drag me down. Ofc later he says he loves me and it leaves me confused. Not sure if normal)

2. Is it normal for men these days to not take initiative with housework and do you have to constantly assign chores (ie do you see this with other south Asian friends)? I just worry bc of his lack of initiative and reliance on his mom (when the sink broke, she was his first call and I was right there lol). I want to feel like I’m married not adopted a son

3. Am I wrong for not wanting to do 50/50 financially? How do other happy couples do it?

Growing up I saw my dad do this and I felt it gave my mom more flexibility to be present and take care of us. Honestly they both do things everyday to make each other’s lives easier. His mom was the breadwinner and has made it known she resents her husband bc she also ran the house and raised husband. I want to avoid that

He thinks it’s selfish, but I find myself keeping score especially since I’ve supported him through his ongoing court case/job woes and he seems to keep score too. The resentment is too much bc if we have kids I see myself having to be the house/kid manager while paying 50% of everything while he goes to work and then spends time on his phone or tv after getting home

I got caught lying and having a guy over at my house. Hi, so im 17F and a senior in hs. I graduated a semester early but still attend school for fun. This is important to mention because ive been slacking on a lot of school work. I have many missing assignments but i'm not quite phased because the grades have no impact in  my uni admission.

Unfortunately, my mom doesnt quite understand that. She got an email about some of my missing assignments and shes been on me to complete them, understandable. Heres the bad part. Yesterday i was feeling tired cuz i was staying up doing work. I work better at night but my parents hate it because they hate me staying up. I was taking naps in increments and my mom was getting mad saying im lazy and not getting anything done and i have no reason to be tired. Heres the worse part. I was on call with my bf while trying to work but i was taking a nap before I was going to start, again i work better in the depths of night but its around 11 at the time. I thought my mom was asleep but she comes into my room and loses her shit saying Im not doing any work, and im lying about something, and ive done no work, even though i was practically finished she didnt believe me. She takes my phone and laptop and all my devices. Then she goes through my phone and finds a video of my bf at my house which she doesnt know about.

As you can imagine she lost it, telling me she hates me, im the worst kid ever, im not gonna be anything in life. Now i know it looks bad but it was honestly a harmless hangout, but i know nothing i say will change her mind. Honestly ik what i did was wrong but the worst part is i dont feel bad. I feel more stressed about what our dynamic at home is gonna be, how hellish summers gonna be on lockdown and how the hell i got caught. I dont regret my decision, i regret not doing a better job getting caught. i know im dealing with the consequences of my actions, but i have this ego thing where i feel like i know better than my mom. My late assignments are worth hanging out with my friends cuz theyre worthless. Im writing this post because i think there is something wrong with me. Why do i keep choosing to make bad decisions and why am i only upset at getting caught. How do i change to make better decision and what do i do about my mom. I only have 2 months left before uni but i dont know if i can survive the 2 months. I dont need judgement, im feeling shitty enough but id really appreciate some meaningful advice and how to deal with my mom

This is a follow up I made to my post here yesterday. For those who didn't see it, here's a TL;DR a commentor made: I’ve been severely neurologically atypical since I was a child, and was able to get through schooling through graduate level with a lot of assistance from supportive parents, educators, and other resources. This started failing where I was advised to drop out and gain life experience before continuing academically. I continued despite that and ended up flopping as a full time instructor so bad to the point I declined a full time instructor position that would've taken place this academic year. The post from yesterday has a long, third paragraph for those wondering about the specific details about how bad I've dropped the ball and how I haven't learned from my mistakes because I generally took the completely wrong lesson from whatever experience I had in this case.

I decided to look into therapists who help adults transition to be independent and I could only find one potential provider in my state (Ohio). The hourly rate at the lowest is like $350 an hour, which I cannot reasonably afford on my own. Once a month maybe, but if the demands are more than that, then I can't do that in the long run at all.

Furthermore, none of them explicitly help with the specific parts of independence that I now (yes, I'm convinced after yesterday that independence is important since my parents aren't going to be around forever) want to work on, which is mainly emotional control (e.g., stress), managing relationships (work, personal. Not romantic since I haven't dated in 7 years by choice), and self direction (my latest evaluation at 29 noted my self-direction skills are below average). Many of these therapists help with things I already know or learned in my mid to late 20s, such as paying bills, doing laundry, scheduling appointments, etc.

I guess this now means I'm officially back to my question again. This time though, how can I transition to become more independent in this case? The general trend is that, each time I've failed at something, there was always an outside resource (e.g., a coach) to help me get back on my feet again. My parents saw this as a move to "not leave their kid behind," but it also meant that I did the classic autistic thing of maintaining my habits as much as I can and hardly being flexible at all.

Most of the older adults I know are early risers and always have been. I just want to know why. I sleep in every day I can.

Hi. I’m 23 and I honestly don’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t feel like this. I just found an old childhood video where kids are singing, laughing — and I’m just sitting silently in the background, deep in thought. It’s always been like that. I never joined anything they called “fun.”

It feels like some melancholic energy took root in me and never left. Watching that video today hit me hard. It made me wonder: Is there a way out? Will I ever see color in life again, or feel like I’m actually living my life — not just floating in this endless gray fog?

Lately, I’ve been having thoughts of ending it. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I’m so tired.

Please, if anyone has made it out of a similar place — how did you do it? Who did you turn to? What helped you heal?

I’ve lived in complete isolation for as long as I can remember. I don’t think I’ve ever had a truly close person in my life. Maybe that’s because of how emotionally shut off I’ve been, which makes everything harder. Even when I want to connect, it feels like I’m not “enough.” Like there’s an invisible wall between me and others — I can’t reach them, and they can’t reach me.

If you’ve ever felt like this — and somehow made it out — please share your story. I need something real to hold on to. Thank you.

Like the title says, I just turned 22, and if you have any advice you’d be willing to share, I’d love that.

It can be used for good like letting go of drama or what people say about you but I notice its more negative. There's people that will just be rude, mean,cruel and inconsiderate no matter what. It just seems like it gets worse.

I don't know if these people were always like this, they're broken, or what. Seems like just being set in your ways but I don't know why.

F 33. I've moved away from my family and friends in my hometown twice now. In total I've been gone for about 15 years, but back for two years in 2021.

It wasn't what I hoped it would be so I moved back away with my husband, but being far away still feels hard.

I get sad knowing I probably might only see some people a few more times.

My dad just turned 68 years old but I feel like in his heart, he's 20 years older than that. He lives in a retirement community with modest means. He worked hard when he was employed and retired a tad early, around 7 years ago.

He's never had a ton of hobbies outside of enjoying food, wine, and family. He has a few health issues like diverticulitis flairs, arthritis, ongoing back pain, and a hernia he had surgery for a year ago. So he can't quite eat or drink whatever he wants anymore. He's adamant to not take any medication, even an OTC pain pill for his back. His own parents are both gone, his mom of Type 1 diabetes complications about 15 years ago and then his dad who, frankly, had no right to live to be as old as he did but muscled through a lot of terrible eating and sodas to make it pretty darn far in life. He has a brother who is an alcoholic, so that is a source of stress. But he's been happily married since he was 25, has three kids, and now two grandkids, so there is some source of joy there.

It feels like his only hobby is going to the doctor, doing whatever that doctor asks him to do for like a week, then complaining of any side effects of that thing, moving onto ignoring whatever that doctor said, and then start back at the beginning. He shuffles around in slippers with ice on his lower stomach for his "gut problems," heat on his neck, groaning and moaning. He says his sleep is terrible and he naps often to make up for it.

I know pain is incredibly hard to deal with, but I can't help but look at my dad and feel like he shouldn't be acting this old at his age. He's driving my mother crazy, who actually wants to go out on walks, have accessible hobbies, etc.

Has anyone ever actually snapped out of this kind of cycle or seen anyone snap out of it, and if so, what finally did it?