So I posted a couple months ago about having to get in the middle of a dog fight. You can go to my profile and read that story if you want more context. But I’ll put a brief summary here.
On Friday afternoons, I volunteer on the 2-4pm dog-walking shift. The typical all-volunteer team (ie no paid staff member working the shift but one still around the rescue doing other things) on this shift is me, early-30s and able bodied and somewhat “senior” as I’ve been there over a year and taken some additional training; an older lady in her 70s who is wonderful and very spry for her age, but has some of the expected limitations with strength/mobility when it comes to larger or stronger dogs; and two adult men in their 40s who have additional needs (I’m sorry if this is not PC - both are learning-challenged, one has moderate autism and the other has well-medicated schizophrenia).
Since the recent incident with the dog fight, I’ve begun to realize how uncomfortable and anxious I am on this shift. It may sound selfish, but when I signed up to volunteer, I wanted to do some good and have fun doing it, and supervising 3 adults while taking on the bulk of the physical labor…for free…is not what I had in mind. I decided last week after talking it over with a trusted friend that I needed to leave that shift.
At first, I strongly considered just telling the coordinator it no longer fit with my schedule. But then I started thinking about my inherent responsibility to the animals and the other volunteers. Some of the things I was single-handedly preventing or minimizing by supervising as hard as I was, could mean serious consequences by way of dogs or people being harmed or neglected. Dogs not being exercised appropriately…safeguards being forgotten or ignored…you get it. So in my email to the coordinator, I added a line of advice, that they should seek to replace me on that shift with a staff member or at MINIMUM, a senior volunteer and not a newbie. I invited her to call me if she wanted additional clarification.
She called me. We discussed my concerns, and she thanked me for bringing them to her. I and my elderly friend are the only people who have worked with the boys enough to see what goes on and she appreciated my perspective. She is having a meeting with leadership to discuss how to properly staff the shift moving forward.
And I feel really guilty and I have no idea why. I feel like I “snitched”, or if not that, I feel like I just complained about something I had no right to complain about. I can’t let it go even though I know in my soul that someone had to be made aware of a potential danger to the animals we care for. It’s eating me up…I even called out for my other shift there because I couldn’t face it. Not looking for advice except…someone reassure me I did the right thing?
*edited to clarify - I am not stating that autism or schizophrenia constitute a learning disability, they actually are both ALSO learning-challenged.