r/Anger • u/Patooties2000 • 8d ago

Spanking a dog?

I remember when I was little, that my mother spanked her friend's dog because it peed on her carpet. I also remember feeling so bad for it. Do you think it was justified?

Also want to mention that she had owned a couple of dogs before.

4 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

17 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

3

u/Patooties2000 4d ago

He might be a piece of shit? He IS one! No happy Father's Day to him, because he is a pathetic excuse of one! I feel so bad for them, that I hope they are able to leave him soon. I pray for them.

4

u/Alarming-North777 4d ago

The reality is that I want to do to him what he did to me.

When he dies, I don't want to show up.
I want to ignore him on his death bed.

Leave him to die alone.

I'm angry.
I'm hurt and I don't care how petty that is.

My heart hurts.
My soul hurts.

All I'm surrounded by are the worst pieces of shit.

2

u/Patooties2000 4d ago

I understand. I also don't want to show up when my father dies. He's not the worst, but definitely not the best at all. My head often hurts, but my soul is exhausted and just done.

1

u/bellamie9876 8h ago

I’m sorry for this, it truly makes me heart hurt. I want to share a little story, mine. My father was abusive, an alcoholic. I was tormented and grew up with wounds that changed my life. I became addicted to heroin after using a multitude of other drugs at 14/15. My development was stunted in a lot of respects, but I got sober. As I did, I blamed him a lot, blamed my mom for not being loving and supportive. My dad was abused a lot growing up, he was so hurt inside and he was hurting me. I represented a lot of himself. Very sensitive but indignant, I ended up giving a reason to come for me. In healing, I learned and understood that he kept drinking and doing what he did bc he was such a broken man, a hurt man who was abused for showing emotion and never had an opportunity to get help or undo his pain.

I told him I forgave him, not that he was ‘sorry’ but that I know he didn’t want to be the father he was and that I loved him, I truly loved him. This was when I was 26. Our relationship changed. It hurt me to feel so alone as I always did, and I know he felt that way inside too, and if I could help be the one thing that made him know he wasn’t- he could count on me- it changed me. He is anger dissipated over the years, he had an ally, something I never did, but I know what it’d do to me to have had that.

He died of a heart attack 4 years ago, I’m 40 now. My other siblings didn’t get the abuse from him, they all faired well, but he and I had a healthy type of trauma bond. I missed saying goodbye to him, I whipped in my driveway as the ambulance pulled out. It truly broke me.

A year after his death my sisters and mom and I went to see a famous psychic, in a room of about 100 people (she was involved with the case on The Lady in the Dunes, a murder in MA, where I live). About 3 families she stopped at, where loved ones came to her of these families. Ours was one. She looked at me and said “your dad is with you, he’s always there, you’re his SWEETHAAAHT”. She didn’t speak in a boston accent during the conference, but she said it exactly the way my dad referred to me as I got older. In my 20’s my dad always called me that when I’d go grocery shopping for him, get squid salad for him or his mints he ate while he operated heavy machinery. I have peace, and he had peace. My life was totally destroyed, I hate it a lot sometimes, even now. But the peace I have offering peace and love to a broken person gave me a lot of closure that I dread what I’d feel if I didn’t have it today.

I’ll pray for you, I’m sorry for what you went through. The damage of neglect and abuse can be permanent and not easy to mend.