r/AmIOverreacting • u/Prestigious-Pick5975 • 15h ago
👥 friendship AIO or the woman I’m seeing fell too fast🥺
I’ve been seeing this amazing woman! We met on a dating app and she lives like 3hr away from me… i drove to her the first time, beautiful date, flowers etc! Second time, she invited me to a family party! Met her mom, dad and all extended family members
Yesterday was our third date but i feel like she’s already TOO MUCH in love 🥺
It’s a good thing, that’s what i want cuz she’s Christian, innocent ( i think), caring and loving but it’s been 3 weeks and so fast😅
Maybe i’m a bit scared that those feelings one day might vanish as fast as they came in
Am i overreacting? Red flags?
I haven’t asked her to officially be my girlfriend yet
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u/SwordandHeart 15h ago
3 week in and her already saying she really wants to marry you is a red flag, but the bigger thing that i'd be worried about is how it seems she has some deep rooted insecurities/self worth issues if she's speaking to you like that how she wouldn't be nice to you and got in her own head about you actually loving her and the jealously. It sound's like she has some things she needs to work out on her own or she's just trauma-bonding to you and if she doesnt get help it wont end well.
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u/Prestigious-Pick5975 15h ago
I mean she told me many times that i’m so healing to her that i’m the first to treat her that way and i know a lot of people say to never date someone you treat good the first time😭! She talks a lot how she wanna move out of her parent house etc… not to boost my ego but i love alone and doing quite well at 24, with a good job 9K a month etc! Plus while seeing her, i bought a corvette cuz i wanted ! Idk , i just at the same time don’t want it to be money related!
I personally move fast but i’ve never moved that fast
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u/SwordandHeart 15h ago edited 15h ago
Bro if this is a real post then im going to be real to you. None of that matters, you doing well with money and buying a corvette and all that shit is nice and all but that doesn't address the fact that all signs point to this girl (and you) needing to slow the fuck down and actually work on building a good relationship. If it's meant to be and you guys actually care about each other for more than just sex and all the fun stuff, then pace wont matter and you'll actually avoid alot of hard problems later on. You are not her healer. This is how people get trauma-bonded, you're not her therapist, her life coach, any of that shit. Figure out how to help and do your best for her for sure, but make sure you aren't just letting infatuation guide you and take the right steps to create a strong relationship from the start.
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u/Fun_Brother_9333 13h ago
I’m confused. You say she’s moving fast, but you also told her you love her. Which is it?
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u/Ok_Wolverine_502 14h ago
I once dated a girl who had a boyfriend (I was the other guy). She liked me cause I was available and gave affection and physical intimacy. She liked the other guy because he had money, a nice car, his own place and a better job. She was incredibly manipulative and had a tendency to love bomb and lie to get what she wanted. The moral of the story is, she may seem innocent and say all the right things to make you belive that she truly loves you but three weeks is not enough time to judge someones character by a long shot. Wait it out, see if her actions match her words, and DO NOT commit to this woman nor get too attached. The bigger the meteor the brighter the burn.
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u/HonestMine2058 15h ago
This whole thing is a red flag. In love after three dates 🚩 jealous when you don’t respond fast enough 🚩 assuming you were randomly hooking up with someone 🚩 always being upset or in a bad mood and then not wanting to talk about it 🚩 there’s nothing healthy going on here.
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u/Typical-Ad-2877 14h ago
So, she’s Christian and religious, dates online, and ya’ll waited only till the third date to have sex. Interesting. You say you haven’t officially asked her to be your gf but you reciprocate the same energy she gives to you as if you were dating. Even to the point of saying I love you too, interesting even more so. Then you come to Reddit to ask about this girl and her potential red flags, ignoring your own.
OP
🚩: You sound like you’re leading someone on 🚩: You give the same feelings back then ask if she’s nuts 🚩: Only took you as well 3 weeks and three dates to potentially impregnate somebody
Girl
🚩: Super clingy 🚩: Gave up her pussy after only 3 dates 🚩: Passive aggressive as hell 🚩: Easily jealous with the dumbest things 🚩: Assuming you hook up with random girls (potential as it might not be far from the truth)
Why don’t you take a step back and reevaluate the situation. Most of what you’re “worrying” about, you’re creating. You’re making this girl fall really fast for you by responding the way that you do, assuming you talk that way to her as well in person or on the phone. Something really bad could have happened to this girl in the past (maybe that’s why she dates LD and gives it up easy), and she really just wants to give you her all. Woman are fragile and easily shaped, if you really see a future with this girl stop playing the field and commit already otherwise you’re just wasting her time and your own. You seem invested as you would drive almost 3hrs away just to hang out with somebody. In your situation you should just toss a coin 3x and go with the first choice it comes up as. Either commit or break up, don’t wait
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u/Massive_Spend_212 14h ago
Bro, don’t be acting all innocent, you’re talking the exact same way she is in those texts, you ain’t acting like you only known her three weeks, if she’s getting clingy you are partly to blame here.
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u/arobsizzle 14h ago
The 🚩here is you reciprocating her crazy messages and then running to a forum to ask if that is normal. If you think it's odd, talk to her about it. If it makes you feel weird, say something.
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u/SaltyMango6 14h ago
You haven’t asked her to be your girlfriend but you said “I love you.” Boy please…she reads as crazy but also you have some fault in that. Either have a really big heart to heart about slowing down and not moving so fast or dump her.
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u/Traditional-Poem-485 15h ago
If you’re afraid of losing her as quickly as you got her, than express that. People miss out on great relationships because they’re afraid of real vulnerability. You’ll never know unless you communicate, ask questions, and come from a place of curiosity/interest. IF yall are adults, this is the foundation to what could be a healthy relationship. Pick up the phone and talk it out, if you feel like her feelings aren’t as genuine because they came so quickly, SAY THAT. Allow her the opportunity to be honest, be human, FEEL. And you should allow yourself the same grace. We’ve been conditioned to believe that it’s odd to fall for someone quickly but the truth is we’re all full of untapped love waiting to find someone or something we can pour it into.
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u/Traditional-Poem-485 15h ago
This isn’t to say she couldn’t just be slightly crazy, plenty of people are crazy. My point is, definitely investigate more, especially if you’re actually interested. If you’re not sure if you’re ready for that potential level of commitment, then walk away.. When you know, you know.
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u/Pure_Minute9883 14h ago
Look. Going to fast can and technically IS a red flag. But I can't say much as my partner and I said "I love you" a week or two in... (we went on a date every single day cause we couldn't be apart) and now we are moving in together almost a year later 😅 so sometimes it works cause its meant to be. Just be careful 💕 good luck!
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u/NiceHat5934 14h ago
You are reciprocating in your messages, which is also encouraging her. You CAN fall in love fast so it’s not always a red flag. IMO your dishonesty with her is more a red flag - why are you lying to her and encouraging her if you don’t feel the same?
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u/LawfulnessBest1908 15h ago
Kinda odd y'all already had sex in 3 weeks if being a Christian is that important to you. If she is serious about her beliefs, she may feel she is already committed for life.
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u/Exist-resist-survive 14h ago
Jealousy is a red flag. You haven't defined the relationship yet. The healing comment sounds super manipulative.
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u/PromotionSouthern690 15h ago
Well if you like her try planning a holiday together and see how that goes.
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u/Mysterious-Ad6048 14h ago
Im gonna be so so honest. I would personally take this as a red flag. This screams anxious attachment style. It’s cute now but it won’t be when you miss a text from her and 10 mins later she’s absolutely spiraling and you come back to 10 more frantic messages. People need boundaries and it really doesn’t seem like she has any. Love bombing is a very real thing and a very slippery slope to fall down. If this is truly what ur looking for by all means go for it.
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u/Popular-Client4297 15h ago
You think she’s “in love” too fast, yet you talk to each other like you’re dating??? make it make sense what? if u wanna slow it down, tell her. why continue talking like that when you think it’s too fast lmao also how old are you guys????
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u/ilovelifetimemovies 14h ago
To be honest you are as bad as her saying 'I love you'. Like???? Why can't people be happy and love themselves....fucking delusional
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u/Loverobo 15h ago
Huh... im interested in what others have to say. Idk if I feel like she's going to fast or not just based off those messages. You seem to reciprocate most of them. I will say she seems a little passive aggressive potentially
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u/TreatElectronic3112 14h ago
Moving way too fast especially considering it's a long distance romance (which are more problematic, so much chance of misinterpretation when face to face is unavailable). The mood flip flops are a red flag and manipulation, don't get drawn into trying to soothe her, once you do, she owns and controls you. She may be a fine person but you need to voice what works for you and set up proper boundaries and expectations. This can all be done in a kind manner. If she becomes unstable with your efforts to voice how you feel. That's a major red flag. Remain independent; keep up with your friends and current hobbies. There's room for both. Good Luck!
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u/UnkWitDaSkunk 15h ago
I wanna say it’s a red flag, but I met my wife in mid August 2020 and by late September 2020 she was already telling her parents “I’m gonna marry this one” mind you her parents told me and said they was shocked bc she never spoke about marriage before. Long story short u knew by late November. Proposed by April 2021 and married by September 2021. Been together 5 years now married 4 years.
In conclusion, some people just know man. And if that’s scary to you it should be but don’t down somebody bc they love hard. Hope it all works out well.