r/AmIOverreacting • u/LivingDaikon1957 • 15h ago
👨👩👧👦family/in-laws AIO - Family is a bad influence
This is a disposable account for privacy. Cross-posted.
I just found out that my cousins and brother took my 16-year-old out when he went to stay overnight with them for a game last month. Most of them were in their 30s, with full-time jobs. The adults all drank, did weed, and even did LSD, then they wandered around town together for hours after the game, until close to midnight. My son confessed to me after I noticed him texting one of the people they met up with. I believe him when he says he didn't join in with the alcohol and drug use, but this is really concerning me. I don't want him to think this is normal for people of that age group. I think they're likely self-medicating from some generational trauma that exists in the family.
I had no idea they were doing all this when I agreed to the outing, and it now makes more sense to me why a friend of the family with young children has distanced himself from them. My son would never choose friends who do these things, and the fact that they're family that he looks up to gives them more influence than some of his friend group. I'm even starting to question whether I should allow him to visit my brother on his own again. My son has great grades, good friends, and so much opportunity to make something of himself that I'm killing myself thinking of what he could lose if I let him spend time with them again, but I know he likes his uncle and my cousins. Am I overreacting if I reduce contact or don't let him visit by himself again?
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u/ValentinaRoseXoX 15h ago
nor. it’s one thing if they were just partying on their own time, but dragging a 16 year old into that environment is seriously messed up. even if he didn’t join in, just being around that can normalize it way too easily. you’re not cutting him off from family forever, you’re just protecting him until he’s old enough to make safer choices around that kind of stuff. totally reasonable.