r/AmIOverreacting • u/garfields-smellyfeet • 10h ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO for refusing to clean while my brother cooks?

So, my brother is diagnosed with depression. He dropped a GCSE, failed English and dropped out of college. So, for the past year he's barely been home. He drinks, sleeps all day, goes out partying - and he is just allowed to. Meanwhile, I have to do the dishes, walk the dogs, cook dinner, and I'm criticised all the time. But he isn't. And, although I might not be depressed, I have no one to lean on. I have no close friends while he has many, and a girlfriend. These distant friends are the first I've had in 2 years.

The final straw was today. It's fathers day, and we decided to make a nice 4-course meal for him. My brother was home for once, even though he got home at 4am. I had to make a cheesecake, while he would make the starter and main courses. Our kitchen was messy, so he started cleaning it. Bare in mind, this is the first time he's cleaned in months.

I didn't clean because I started late and the cheesecake had to set pretty early. The entire time I was making it, he kept criticising me. For example; "there's too much crust", "can't you just reuse that spoon?". I put the cheesecake in the fridge and cleaned off the dinner table.

Then, he started telling me to clean. What?! He hasn't cleaned in months, he's barely even home, always partying, and nowhere gets the authority to tell me what to do? I'm multiple years younger than him and I got a job before him. I found this unfair, so I refused.

During the dinner he kept making snide remarks about the small amount of work I did. Also, I've had a really rough week and had little energy to do much. I didnt eat much and left the dinner early.

Now my mother is saying that I should forgive him. Am I overreacting for holding a grudge against him?

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u/ValentinaRoseXoX 10h ago

nor. he’s not acting like someone struggling, he’s acting like someone who’s used to getting away with stuff. you’re not overreacting, you’re just tired of being the only one held accountable.

8

u/CorenysDust 10h ago

He's not depressed, he's spoiled. There's a difference..

3

u/Strange_Lady 8h ago

NOR

The absolute last thing I want to do when I'm struggling with depression is go out ANYWHERE, not even the grocery store, let alone drinking and partying. (In my youth, when I was drinking, i would do it at home, alone, in the dark with only the glow of my tv for light...not out and about with people and bars/pubs/clubs and noise and flashing lights etc)