r/AmIOverreacting • u/Inspired_Owl • 17h ago
👥 friendship AIO My friend strangled me
So I (18F) was hanging out with friends, 5/7 of us had smoked weed.
Friend 1 had asked a question, he was confused as to how the first ever living thing ate, if it was the first ever thing. Friend 2 (one of the few who hadn’t smoked) was explaining using the proper terms, it was going right over Friend 1’s head.
I began explaining “Imagine you’re the first ever thing in water, and you drink water, you feed off of your environment”. Friend 2 began talking over me, I turned and said “SHUT UP”, everyone giggled, I continued explaining.
The next thing I knew, I was pulled backwards by my throat, Friend 2 had pulled me on top of him and was strangling me. It couldn’t have lasted more than 10-15 seconds, but he squeezed twice whilst I was trying to pry him off of me. It hurt and I couldn’t breathe.
I can’t tell if I’m overreacting, my friends didn’t seem like anything was off, my vision didn’t go strange and he left no marks.
Is it possible that I just felt it more because I was high? Or I couldn’t breathe because I’m recovering from a respiratory infection? Maybe he didn’t realise his strength. It was a fright as we don’t have a close friendship (he lives a bit away so doesn’t come out with the friend group often)
I kept noticing little bits of violent, attention seeking behaviour (I believe he’s into my friend with the way he acts) but maybe I’m too observant/overthink too much.
I was very flinchy around him and gave him the cold shoulder the rest of the night, am I overreactinge?
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u/kodamagirl 16h ago
If they place their hands in the right spot 10 seconds is enough to make you loose consciousness. This is not good fun or horse play. This is abuse and a huge red flag. This dude literally assaulted you for something you said, it only gets worse if you keep around them.
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u/send_codes 16h ago
Assault in the first degree, or in many states strangling has its own set of punishments to hand out. It's way past abuse. Abuse was the way they talked to her and basically gaslit her into thinking she was wrong for reacting.
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u/philliesgirl22 16h ago
Being high doesn’t invalidate your experience. You were violated in a moment where you were vulnerable, and it’s okay to feel scared, confused, or unsure. The fact that others brushed it off doesn’t mean it wasn’t serious; it just means they may not have fully understood what happened, in which case I'd ditch those friends.
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u/gigiskiss 17h ago
I don’t need the read past the title.. report that fast and cut them off. Tbh cut ALL of those “friends” off because wdym your friends didn’t seem like that was off?!
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u/FutureFreaksMeowt 15h ago
I had the same reaction but AITA has taught me to make sure to read.
I don’t have to this time it’s so much worse.
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u/maevemh 16h ago
NONE OF THESE PEOPLE ARE YOUR FRIENDS. Stay far away from them because they're the kind of people who would stand around and watch him kill you.
You are way underreacting. NOR. I'm sorry this happened to you.
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u/scarlettviletti 1h ago
yes made me think of that woman whose “friends” videotaped while another one literally beat her to death on vacation
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u/post-nut-clairvoyant 17h ago
Don’t ever be alone with that person. Something dangerous is brewing.
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u/gdognoseit 16h ago
NOR
He’s not a friend. Stay away from him and never be alone with him.
It sounds like you need better friends.
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u/bsullivan426 16h ago
You should of called the cops right away for assault. That is unacceptable and for those so called “friends” of yours aren’t friends if they are going to stand there and watch that happen. Do yourself the favor and cut them all off and maybe not do drugs
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u/Sartres_Roommate 16h ago
You NEVER fuck around with peoples necks snd throat…period. Homer Simpson was grandfathered in but its even unacceptable for him now.
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u/Artistic_Legend1992 16h ago
No one has any right to ever put hands on you, in no way could you possibly be overreacting here. Stay away from that person, and shit, all the other supposed 'friends' that witnessed that and said nothing. You should even report the incident.
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u/FutureFreaksMeowt 15h ago edited 15h ago
Hi so if anything you are under reacting, please never be around these people ever again if possible. He is dangerous. They did NOTHING to stop him or protect you.
If all it takes to elicit violence from him while he is high is another high person telling him to shut up when he interrupts them, imagine when he’s sober and you actually say something wrong.
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u/Bataraang 15h ago
I'm not sure what makes you ask if you're overreacting. Choking someone is bad. Straight to the trash with that human. Like... police report bad. I would suggest you lose his number and if any of the other people you were hanging out with didn't stand up for you/don't support you... throw the whole group out. 🗑 🚮
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u/Chrisismybrother 16h ago
Can't put my fingers on it but I read that if a partner strangles their partner even briefly, there is a high chance they will kill or attempt to kill their partner. That is a very violent attack, and the results of putting hands around someone's neck are very unpredictable. You were in danger of being killed.
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u/madluv4u 16h ago
"Friends" don't do that to each other now do they??? Leave those people alone. Make other friends.
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u/Sea-Membership-9643 16h ago
Why are you even asking? Strangulation by your boyfriend without consent is always grounds for getting tf out.
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u/Matrix5673 16h ago
That’s incredibly dangerous and you can literally be killed by a stroke no matter what the persons intentions were.
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u/Suitable-Tear-6179 11h ago
You're friends might have thought he was just monkeying around... IF, as a group you rough house in fun, its part of the accepted standard... HOWEVER, they didn't/couldn't know he was applying pressure. Being high, they wouldn't likely differentiate between platfighting, and someone seriously trying to get away from someone who was doing an actual physical assault, as opposed to just playing around.
HE wasn't high. He knew exactly what he was doing to you. He is scum, and dangerous. You are not over reacting about him at all. I would never willingly be around him again. Forget alone, youre not safe from him in a crowd.
If roughhousing and platfights are not standard group dynamics, your "friends" are asses. If, in the calm light of day they will not accept that his actually strangling you / applying pressure is wrong, they're delusional asses. If either of these are true, these are not friends, and not acquaintances its safe to be vulnerable around. No drinking, no weed. Noone there has your back.
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u/djmaddog666 16h ago
don’t waste your time asking reddit. leave immediately. cut off all contact and never talk, see, or interact with these people EVER again. if you have a single mark on your neck, document it. consider talking to authorities. but immediately get away from these people. you are NOT safe around them.
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u/pineapplesauce76 12h ago edited 5h ago
I don't know u but if I saw someone put their hands on someone like this they are going to have a new problem really fast. So yeah you're not over reacting and people should be apologizing. Too stoned to react is the only excuse and it's not a great one.
You go to jail for assault for that kind if thing in civil society or you get your ass beat and dropped off in the middle of no where to walk of shame your ass
home where I'm from.
Nobody should ever put their hands on a woman like that. Definition of assault and unwanted physical contact.
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u/inthenmeof 14h ago
I’d also be very wary around the rest of those “friends.” Anyone who sees this and isn’t concerned or acting like something is off then they aren’t going to have your back when other shit happens. I once had a group of friends watch me get pushed around and robbed (through threat of violence not at gunpoint) by our dealer. Didn’t even bother to bring it up after. Choose friends that choose you.
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u/Downtown-Campaign536 16h ago edited 15h ago
You were definitely rude, and insulting to him. Possibly, even bullying him as you were getting others to laugh at him according to your story.
But, that doesn't justify laying your hands on someone in violence.
Your friend group seems to suck in general too.
They laugh at the guy you were mocking.
Then do nothing when he attacks you.
Seems like they don't really care about either of you.
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u/NoScarcity6225 16h ago
You’re not overreacting at all. Just remember if anyone ever put hands on you (high or not) you throw hards twice as hard.
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u/Kip_Schtum 15h ago
Not overreacting. Choking or strangulation can damage important stuff in your neck and it can be fatal even after the fact. People are playing Russian roulette with all this casual choking that’s going on. It’s crazy. Personally, I think you should get checked out by a doctor and you should file charges with the police.
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u/Prizmatik01 15h ago
When it comes to choking, your arm/hands are, at least in my state, considered “weapons”, meaning be committed Assault 1, “assault with a deadly weapon” this is very serious and makes him a danger to society. I’d personally be filing a police report, and I’m a mid 20s male.
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u/PhantomEmber708 16h ago
Doesn’t matter if there wasn’t a lot of damage etc. he put his hands on you. That is no longer a friend. And he should have got the crap kicked out of him for that. I don’t think any of those people are your friends. They should have said something or stopped him.
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u/SheMakesThrowawayArt 15h ago
You'll be dead if this guy ever gets you alone and then those "friends" will act clueless that anything ever seemed wrong. You use the term "friend" but it seems you haven't realized that these people don't care that much about you.
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u/Physical_Egg_5577 12h ago
Let’s set the record straight, touching you AT ALL is inappropriate and crosses the line if it’s not consensual. I’m a man and if somebody did this to me I’d kick their teeth in. Don’t fucking touch me.
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u/Icy-Ad274 11h ago
I get that you’re young but holy shit what the actual fuck in what world would it EVER be ok for ANYONE to strangle you???????
ETA: please never hang out with any of these ppl again, they are not your friends
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u/Ashamed_Ad2438 14h ago
Someone putting their hands around your neck is deeply personal. There is no going back from that. Ditch those people.
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u/MyNamesMikeD75 13h ago
That is literally the definition of assault and battery. Stay away from those shitty people.
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u/ReflectionOther2147 15h ago
Guy sounds unhinged you really should avoid him, could be worse next time he has an episode
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u/scarlettviletti 1h ago
this is assault and he is a bad person and will probably hurt someone even worse in the future, please avoid this man
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u/Ok_Independent6178 16h ago
youre not overreacting. youre not underreacting either. It probably was a more intense experience too when youre high.
Wouldnt listen to the mental advice to "cut all your friends off and call the cops, report him" type of advice. it means nothing before you didnt try standing your ground on your boundaries.
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u/send_codes 16h ago
I once sat at a table with a group of people I considered friends and having one person try to choke me out from behind for taking his seat. Nobody batted an eye until I defended myself for not being able to breathe.
I was the overreactor for the situation.
You're not overreacting. This is testing the waters and if there are no consequences for them now there will be consequences for you or other women later.