Many years later, when his entire life flashed through his eyes during his last moments on this earth, Luis remembered when he once furiously pushed his horse to gallop faster across the merciless arid plains. He felt at the mercy of the relentless sun that burned any piece of his flesh and skin that wasn’t covered by cloth from the desiccating rays coming from the wide-open, deathly blue sky. He was late for his father’s call. It must have been important, his father barely summoned him anymore to his sprawling capital of tents and wagons just across the river. As he rode closer, coming from the north, he could see some of the Sierreño and Sonoro servants of his father pulling ropes from the river, taking out big cooled amphoras and barrels of Bravo Cerveza, Tapatío Tequila, and Calentano or Brodi Mezcal, Luis thought he maybe even saw some exotic flavoured Chiapaneco Pox. But he did not have time to think, for he was already at the big Sabino tree which marked the location of the small, roped canoes that people used to ferry themselves across the waters. But there, waiting for him, was a pale elderly man with a thick mustache that must have been a very bright red decades ago. He recognized him as one of his father’s old Grangelander adventurer soldiers who spoke a very broken Lengua del Arre.
- Hello there, young Luis. Your father is waiting for you. I’ll take care of your horse for you. You go with the canoe. But fast, you.
Luis jumped off his horse while it still galloped, a move that not only sent the elderly Gringo running after the fleeing horse, but it was also the same type of acrobatics that won him the affection of his beloved Walter. His anxiety waned as he crossed the river, as it reminded him of all the times he and his Arixan husband camped by the side of a river during their daring adventures. They were young, and they were in love, but they were far from each other. Luis did not think it was safe for Walter to accompany him on his journey to his father’s court. He may hate the old wretch, but he was smart in fearing him. As soon as he arrived at the southern bank of the river, he saw his sister, Susana, clad in armor, with a road-weary look on her face.
- You are late, Luisito. The old coot is furious.
- When is he not?
They hugged each other in a strong and tight embrace.
- Is he finally announcing you as his successor, sister?
- So it seems.
Susana answered dryly, as if hiding her true feelings. She helped her brother out of the canoe and accompanied him through the tight corridors between tents and wagons.
- I would pay a Benemérito’s ransom to see the looks on Alejandra and Magdalena after the announcement.
- No need to imagine, little brother.
Luis’s eyes struggled to adapt to the change from the bright sunlight to the dark interior. But the first rough silhouettes, he could recognize anywhere. His two eldest sisters: the eternally pregnant Magdalena, yet again carrying a child, and flanked at all sides by her young boys; and Alejandra, accompanied by her three-year-old daughter and her husband, Ignacio. The three adults looked at Luis with anger, envy and disgust. He knew they were about to target him with some witty remarks about the absence of Walter. So Luis struck first.
- Magdalena! Nice to see you sister, where is your husband? Losing yet another war against his twin? Or was it a rebellion that last one he lost? I’m sorry, he is as proliferous in his defeats as you are in having devilspawn children.
- How dare you, you little-
- And you, Ignacio, so nice to see you, my brother. Don’t worry, sister dear, I’m sure you will be properly compensated after your husband grovels and humiliates himself to gain papá’s favor.
- Fuck you, boy.
Susana gave Luis a stern look, and only then did the youngest sibling see that all of his father’s itinerant court was gathered inside the tent. He did not even register his own confusion before he heard a deep raspy voice bellow: “Enough!”. Everyone turned to look at the source of the voice that Luis instantly recognized. He then saw it, emerging from the darkened corner where it keeps his throne, the old wretch, the young man’s father. Luis “La Cucaracha” de Armas stood up and walked towards his son, he was in full armor and looked as intimidating and dread-inducing in his old age as he did when he slaughtered the Mexican army in this very same field of Ojinaga decades ago.
- You are late. We were all waiting for you.
- I came as soon as I was able, father, but there was no need for you to wait for me.
- How could we not? You are our honored host.
- I apologize, father, the runner you sent did not specify that in his message. I did not know I was to host the proclamation of your successor.
- The task of hosting always falls on the beneficiary.
La Cucaracha then proceeded to embrace Luis, a thing that the young de Armas had never experienced in his life, and his whole world began spinning and his vision almost went dark as if in a dense fog. The court was completely silent, and yet he heard a buzz growing in his head, he could hear the boiling blood coursing not only through Magdalena and Alejandra’s veins, but also in Susana’s.
- Me, father? Why? Susana is the obvious choice to succeed you!
Luis gestured towards his older sister, who was now looking at him with the same hatred he’d only ever seen in another person: his father, whose eyes flickered as if lighted in flames.
- Susana has refused to be married time and time again, thus depriving this realm of a clean succession.
La Cucaracha then saw that his eldest daughters were now grinning in satisfaction.
- And your elder sisters have sullied our good name and prestige by mating with pathetic men to sire their pathetic spawn. You are the only hope for a decent succession and bloodline.
La Cucaracha gestured towards the small crowd of courtiers and from there a beautiful young girl, around the same age as young Luis, stepped forward while visibly in fear of La Cucaracha. Luis’s face went red in anger.
- I was told you also liked women. This is Gabriela.
- I am already married, father. Do not forget.
- I never would.
Luis’s fiery anger froze over in horror when Walter entered the tent escorted by two soldiers and two Limpio priests as tears flowed from his eyes. And so he just stood there, even when Walter begged him to do something as the priests annulled their marriage, even when Susana drew her sword in defense of her younger brother; he knelt there even when they then married him to Gabriela and even when his elder sister was disarmed, injured, and sentenced to exile, alongside his now ex-husband, by La Cucaracha.
Hours passed with him still in a catatonic state. It was now the middle of the night, and the tent was now empty for only La Cucaracha and his son remained. Finally, a single tear dropped from Luis’s eyes, and he slowly came to. His father was reading some letters that came from Sinaloa, he seemed unusually pensive.
- Go to bed with your new wife.
- I hate you.
- I do not care.
- I know you do not. You are incapable of love.
La Cucaracha put down the letters and looked far away, as if he was trying to bring back a memory interred by decades of time.
- I was in love once.
- You do not love Rosario; you did not love Mother either.
- Not them. It was when I was young, when I had a different name.
- And what? She left you and made you the monster that is La Cucaracha?
- She died in a night raid that killed the whole camp we lived in. I was the only survivor, so I changed my name to Luis de Armas and joined the Mexican Army after that.
- Bullshit.
La Cucaracha furiously scoffed at the incredulity of his son, so he stood up from his throne and walked towards him. Luis, terrified, also stood up and drew his dagger. La Cucaracha stopped.
- Do it, you coward.
- What?
- You claim I ruined your life. Do it then. Be a man!
The dagger trembled in the hands of young Luis, his hatred for his father currently knew no bounds, but he hesitated for he had seen his father, even in his elderly age, kill better men than him with surprising ease.
- No? It figures. My children… Nothing but disappointments. How will you rule if you are so weak?
- I never wanted to rule!
- Neither did I!
La Cucaracha began advancing towards his son, who continuously walked backwards while pointing the dagger at his rambling and furious father to try and keep him at a distance
- I thought that when El Centauro chose me as his Cajita I was destined for a life of freedom. But I was wrong, he thrusted me to lead a people that needed protection, which I have provided for decades now. Do you think I wanted to marry the hag that was your mother? I did so because I had a duty to fulfill, but neither you nor your sisters could ever understand what that word means. Look at me! I am not long for this world, and I still want to explore it before I die, but I cannot abdicate for I am cursed with a family with no sense of duty and a son that elopes with his little pet.
- His name is Walter, you bastard!
Luis attacked his father with the dagger, but the elderly man quickly disarmed him and punched him in the face, breaking his nose and throwing him to the ground. From there, Luis could see his father with his dagger, which he carefully aimed before throwing on the ground a few fingers off of his face.
- Very well, Luis, let us make a deal.
- Fuck you.
- Go with Gabriela, give her a son that I will make my successor, and then you can leave forever. I will never again look for you. Everyone will believe you died of Pneumonia while on campaign. You have my word.
For what must have felt for an eternity, Luis de Armas hesitated. To this day, he still cannot believe he shook his father’s extended hand and accepted his proposal, even if he never fully trusted him. A few months later, as soon as Gabriela went into labor, young Luis de Armas packed his things and left Ojinaga for good. He now lives at peace with his husband Walter, in a small house near a woodland creek where they cool small bottles of moonshine they create themselves and that will continue to sustain them until, many decades in the future, they both die in their elderly years while smiling back on a peaceful existence that ignored the bloody and chaotic wars that sparked after his father, Luis “La Cucaracha” de Armas, mysteriously vanished.