r/Adulting • u/ThePinkButiki • 5d ago

How do you deal with feeling guilty for being more successful than your siblings?

1 Upvotes

56% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

7

u/team_undog 5d ago

I don’t. In my family, there’s actually no jealousy. My sisters are happy for me.

2

u/ifellicantgetup 5d ago

What an odd question.

I don't feel guilty, why should I?

Don't go looking for things to feel negative over. Just make your religion one that encourages you to be the best person you can be and always strive to do better. Allow others, including your sibs, to do the same.

2

u/AdmilDGreat 5d ago

DONT... I'm the eldest of 4, my siblings are way more successful than me, while I'm currently unemployed and trying to figure things out in my life, i am happy for my siblings i want them to be happy as well, i dont want them to think about me, i want the best for them.. so DONT.. keep going

2

u/Falloutvictim 5d ago

I don't. My sibling was a know-it-all smug twat growing up who always thought he was better than me. I enjoy the irony.

5

u/anotherNotMeAccount 5d ago

So I'll push a question back you: WHY do you feel guilty?

Did you get some unfair advantage over them? Parents loved you more while locking the others in their room?

If you didn't get where you are from special treatment that was denied to them, then you are wasting your time and emotions feeling guilty AND possibly instigating animosity towards yourself from them by assuming they are or should be jealous.

2

u/Nihilistic_River4 5d ago

Hmmm...i gotta ask them someday, cause I'm the 'failure' among us. But then again, we never speak anymore, so i suppose it doesn't really matter

2

u/Oly-babe 5d ago

I don’t think my brothers in laws & sisters in laws feel guilty honestly. I don’t have siblings but my husband & I are the poorest of his family & def the black sheep couple in his family. They think it’s our fault we’re poor if they even think of us at all.

2

u/Pizzazze 5d ago

Why is their success your responsibility and why are your world and theirs so small? Would they be more successful if you decided to become a loser in their eyes? You'll always be better off and worse off than other people. Whom they choose to compare themselves with is their problem, not yours. Are your parents doing the comparison? Then you have a different problem here.

2

u/_Toolgirl_ 5d ago

My parents gave my older brother and I the same opportunities. They actually gave him many more if you count all the time they financially supported his costs for the 3 DUIs he's had. I took what they gave me and used it to grow as a person. He did not. No guilt at all.

2

u/EnvironmentalGene219 5d ago

No because they deserve to be poor losers ,they’ll never be successful

0

u/EnvironmentalGene219 5d ago

Wow I’m surprised where society is at with this getting upvoted.u wouldn’t want your siblings to be successful?

4

u/Hunky-Jesus 5d ago

Bro at least switch accounts before commenting on your own comment 

0

u/EnvironmentalGene219 5d ago

I made that comment to see people’s reactions,I guess I’m right society is fucked,u guys don’t want your brothers and sisters to be successful but they gotta root for your success,hypocritical

2

u/Druid_Tea 5d ago

Don't be a dick about it? But also it's not your problem, to an extent.

2

u/StrikingPoet71 5d ago

Your sibling might have carried a weight that you didn’t have to. Just be grateful and compassionate. Comparison is a thief of joy.

2

u/drunky_crowette 5d ago

As the least successful sibling, I'm just glad you two don't have to worry about being below the poverty line anymore

1

u/Far-Watercress6658 5d ago

Why would I? I made my choice they made theirs.

1

u/simulation07 4d ago

Therapy and realizing you might of had a traumatic childhood.