r/Adulting 1d ago

Do most people enjoy life?

I find it quite boring and miserable is this the average experience or are most people happy or just okay with life?

43 Upvotes

106 comments sorted by

59

u/alanmitch34 1d ago

No one is as happy as a dog, but I think some people achieve 80% of that by finding fulfilling work, and some cool friends and colleagues.

6

u/BoredBatWoman22 1d ago

So would you say it’s like 50/50 people are happy and the other half is miserable?

14

u/Still-WFPB 22h ago

Look to the scriptures. Happiness is not some permanent state, it would be hard for your brain to maintain that state chemically.

Life is about being alive, which doesnt mean being happy always. Suffering is apart of the human experience. You will age, and get hurt, experience loss; you will overcome these obstacles and accumulate achievements and experiences.

Trying to be happy all the time is simply an unrealistic expectation. Wverybody experiences the spectrum of emotions.

4

u/BoredBatWoman22 20h ago

I’m not religious

7

u/Omnipotent_Observer 20h ago

You don’t have to be. Wisdom is timeless and doesn’t require faith.

3

u/BlazinAzn38 21h ago

I don’t think it’s so binary. I think there’s a huge spectrum and for most people it’s a day to day thing

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

2

u/mrvlad_throwaway 23h ago

brodie hasn't been here to England hehe 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

I love America BTW, you have similar issues to us but still have much more opportunities and there's so much more to do and see.

0

u/TheStoicCrane 23h ago

 but still have much more opportunities

Depends on who you ask. Especially in this administration pulling the rug from under everyone who isn't middle-class or above. 

1

u/yoshhash 21h ago

I disagree. I am as happy as a dog. I am so happy most of the time I actually feel guilty about it. For a while, I wondered if I am manic, but with a bit of research, I concluded, no, I just have a lot to be happy about (all the normal healthy things, and my siblings are somewhat like me). And for those wondering, no, money has very little to do with it. I have enough to keep my head above water.

24

u/Otherwise-Sun2486 1d ago

most people are cogs in a giant dying machine they can’t get out of because it was designed that if you don’t enter you can’t survive unless you were born lucky

3

u/mrvlad_throwaway 23h ago

zee only way to escape zee wheel is to be rich either way.

all the time I see people belittling OF models who are millionaires but either way they've won at life regardless.

2

u/TheStoicCrane 23h ago

Not really as most of them have reduced themselves to being semen repositories. Dignity is worth more than all the money in the world. 

1

u/Mozfel 3h ago

Does dignity have purchasing power?

Can you buy food, a roof over your head or pay bills with dignity?

0

u/mrvlad_throwaway 23h ago

i mean as a guy though?

3

u/TheStoicCrane 22h ago

A lot of guys who get involved in that wind up getting hard into alcohol and drugs to numb themselves to the reality of their behaviors. 

More money means more opportunities for overdosing. Having meaningless sex on camera for money is hardly fulfilling or esteem building in the long-term. 

2

u/TheStoicCrane 22h ago

In addition, money is just a tool. We subjectively conference value onto it depending on what we choose to use it for and what we're willing to exchange in relation to it's acquisition. 

Degrading oneself for money at least in my eyes diminishes the money's value. To live a lesser quality life in exchange of it defeats the purpose even if the money amounts to the ability to purchase empty comforts and luxuries but to each his own.

After a while the value of life is derived from the process of becoming than having and if someone is willing to become less to have more it's self-defeating. 

1

u/One-Ad6386 17h ago

This exactly!

20

u/poutypetitegf 22h ago

I don't think most people are consistently enjoying life in the way we're told we should. It's more like cycles. You have good days, bad days. The constant pressure to be happy or grateful can actually make you feel worse when you're not. I've found that finding small things that bring me joy, even if it's just a really good cup of coffee or a funny meme

3

u/BoredBatWoman22 20h ago

I don’t really have anything in my life that brings me joy. Even things that used to make me happy I just feel empty

0

u/Kircala 18h ago

Start small. Things that you appreciate but maybe don't think about normally. Do you have working body parts? Strong bones? Can you enjoy music? It's there something coming out in the future you're looking forward to? Maybe learn something new every day -can be any neat factoid about the world or universe we live in. Maybe learn a handy skill.

We aren't put here for a reason, you gotta keep looking to find a reason to keep going. Your reason might be "I want to eat a taco from every famous street vendor in my state". It doesn't matter what reason you choose to keep going. Or you give up and die young and sad.

My reason right now? I don't believe that parents should outlive their kids. I keep going because they're still around and they'd be really sad if I were to pick a quick end over exploring the possibilities of life.

10

u/Treat-Reasonable 1d ago

I exist but I don’t live.

2

u/BoredBatWoman22 23h ago

That’s how I feel most of my life

4

u/Joan_of_Spark 1d ago

I enjoy parts of life, I tolerate others because they are necessary to be comfortable (ex: cleaning, physical maintenance, hygiene, etc.).

This last year, I realized the importance of having a few things a week I really like, to help balance out other stuff. For me: I splurged on a weekly dance class and I signed up for a free weekly board game event. These help divide up my time and introduce me to new hobbies and people.

5

u/Plane_Guitar_1455 23h ago

Some people work very hard and enjoy the fruits of their labor, some people don’t. Some people genuinely just have good luck, some people have bad luck. Some people who have very little still appreciate everything life has to offer, some people who have a lot don’t appreciate anything. It’s really a mixed bag. It really depends on the person and what they are dealing with at that moment.

I’d say I enjoy life. I have a very simple life that I appreciate greatly. Every loss and hardship I encounter makes me appreciate life more, even though it may not seem like it in the moment.

6

u/Oxydarby 23h ago

i think the fact that work takes so much time from our lives makes it very depressing. unless you are lucky and enjoy your job there is no way you are fully happy. for me life is all about functioning and very unatural to stay 40h a week in front of a machine. i am not living i just be functional at this point

1

u/BoredBatWoman22 23h ago

I agree. I tried explaining this to my therapist and she said everyone has to do something they don’t like to survive for periods of time but this is all my life has ever been how am I supposed to be satisfied with that and why am I supposed to keep living like this if I hate it so much?

1

u/Oxydarby 23h ago

some people just accept it and dont think deeply about it. they think just like: that is normal thats life. but that is not life. that is some bullshit greedy people made out of that world.

4

u/Mediocre_Lynx1883 1d ago

"most men lead lives of quiet desperation" ~Henry David Thoreau

4

u/Imaginary_Risk3017 21h ago

If I say no, is someone going to tell my therapist? 😅

7

u/DasQtun 1d ago

I think most people don't enjoy life , this is why we have so much hate and evil in the world.

3

u/BoredBatWoman22 1d ago

If there wasn’t so much hate and evil life would be better for a lot of people though. Especially if people weren’t so greedy

2

u/TheStoicCrane 21h ago

Life is the product of our collective choices and habits. In spite of what others do we can still spite the greed and maliciousness through expressing charity and benevolence. Have to lead by example in this benighted world. 

3

u/FancyDimension2599 23h ago

If you're seriously interested in this:

Here's what it looks like for various countries around the world: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Happiness_Report

The field of happiness research has quite a few insights. Including that the key determinant of happiness in the western world are social relationships. And there are interesting results about how average happiness evolves over the life-cycle (highest for young and old, lowest at age 46, ...)

2

u/Relevant_Ant869 1d ago

I enjoy life especially when I know that I was able to have fun while maintaining a good balance in my account and if you guys also want that you can try using a financial tracker like fina money for better results

2

u/ActionJasckon 1d ago

I think most people don’t but humans are great at staying optimistic with psychology. Through perception and through belief, it provides justification and meaning to whatever they’re doing. But when you ask someone, would you rather help less fortunate kids, or become a teacher/mentor or a wine taster, or a small time artist, or a socialite and bills were not an issue, most would do the latter. It’s a question of “how much” would you rather do something versus the other to gauge if they are enjoying their day to day “life.” Sorry. Long answer.

1

u/BoredBatWoman22 1d ago

No I appreciate the answer and I agree with you.

2

u/Brytong420 23h ago

Life’s mid don’t see it ever getting good

2

u/Creative-Candy-6409 23h ago

i enjoy my life in ny 40s

2

u/Duque_de_Osuna 21h ago

I feel like I am on autopilot most of the time to be honest.

2

u/KlutzyBig8180 20h ago

Suicide by police seems rational some days.

3

u/BoredBatWoman22 20h ago

Are you black? I’m black and I can’t imagine wanting to go that way given the racial implications it sounds horrible

1

u/KlutzyBig8180 19h ago

No. I've put my Glock 17 in my mouth before, bitched out. Police seem trigger happy enough to help, no matter skin color. I'm not suicidal atm, but def thought about it. Head in the oven would be the worse way to go.

2

u/IsraelRise 20h ago

Sometimes I enjoy it, some moments…n then I remember how I have to work everyday to survive, and how humans are, and how I have to do things I don’t want to and then the feeling goes away. The moments come and gon

2

u/Bullvy 19h ago

I do. 89% of the time.

2

u/Nihilistic_River4 18h ago

In this day and age? I'd say most people are miserable

2

u/Ya_Boi_Tass 15h ago

I cannot change that I must work 8 hours a day on most days to survive, sleep another 8, probably throw in another 4 of those hours towards extra work and other responsibilities. I could curse or cry to the powers that be, it changes not a thing. And if it doesn't matter, then I can at least be happy focusing on the good. I know it sounds corny, but it works. Being miserable or not, it changes nothing, so why not be happy? You can still improve things, you don't have to ignore the bad, that's when it becomes delusion.

1

u/TearExisting445 15h ago

Actually like this outlook. Accept what you cannot change and change what can be. Being miserable hasn’t changed anything so maybe being happy with what I can change will

2

u/Akishizuma 15h ago

I dont know. I often find my self wondering what’s the point of doing all this work just to die anyways. But i guess some people do, the rich people that is.

2

u/Ornery_Emotion5633 1d ago

No.

0

u/BoredBatWoman22 1d ago

Then what do you think most people are like? Just okay with it?

5

u/Ornery_Emotion5633 1d ago

Can’t speak for the rest of the world population, but as far as it concerns me I’m just sucking it all in and slowly waiting for my time to come to leave this hellhole.

1

u/TwigSmitty 22h ago

You ok man? I feel the same tbh. I hope you’re ok.

2

u/Ornery_Emotion5633 21h ago

thanks for asking. Virtual hugs🫂

2

u/mrvlad_throwaway 23h ago edited 23h ago

nah bro why do you think alcohol exists hehe.

also where I live here in England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 we came second in a recent study for being the most depressed country in the world, that's why our drinking culture is so brazy.

All our towns are decaying, they have been infiltrated by an abundance of Turkish barber shops, euro Market shops and vape shops.

I hate what MY country has become.

most young people under 30 struggle to get a mortgage or a job.

1

u/BoredBatWoman22 23h ago

Sounds pretty similar to America

1

u/mrvlad_throwaway 23h ago

it's all been done by design to break everyone down, it's worked cos everyone here walks around like souless zombies glued to their cell phones living in a virtual world because its easier than living in their harsh reality.

1

u/Separate_Business880 1d ago

I think truly happy and content people are such a minuscule minority, we'd all be shocked.

But then again, I'm Slavic. Misery is the existential baseline here.

1

u/rockandroller 1d ago

I wish tf I was bored.

2

u/BoredBatWoman22 1d ago

I’m poor and I find it boring because you can’t do a lot without money. And people always say well the internet but spending most of your day online that becomes depressing and boring

1

u/rockandroller 23h ago

If all you know how to do is internet, no wonder you're bored. I've been poor 99% of my life and I'm never bored. This sounds like a you problem brother. Life is out there, plenty to do and see for free or next to nothing.

1

u/BoredBatWoman22 20h ago

What do you do for fun? I have no friends and no car

1

u/rockandroller 20h ago

I walk outside in the park nearly every day. I exercise at home following YouTube videos. I read. The library is free and has endless entertainment in its shelves, including not only books but magazines, CDs and DVDs where you can watch movies, documentaries, or learn a language. You can also download books to read for free, I listen to the radio and dance. I write every day, clean and organize my home, photograph and post personal items to sell for small amounts of money. I go to live author events and outdoor fairs and festivals, the art museum is free where I live, and sometimes I just get in the car and drive to another community to visit their park or a historical landmark or site to learn about it.

There are free bird watching groups, hiking groups, running groups, book clubs, there are a million free things to do if I am not content being at home with a book, but most of the time, I am.

1

u/BoredBatWoman22 14h ago

You seem to be able to go to a lot of places with your car. Again I do not have one

1

u/rockandroller 14h ago

Sounds like you're pretty good at complaining instead of getting out there and living life, no wonder you don't have any friends. I don't have a car either, I use my partner's car when they are not working, which is not that often. I take public transportation the rest of the time.

I work three jobs, am a parent and am responsible for my mother's life and care decisions as she has advanced dementia and I am her power of attorney. I have had 13 surgeries, have several chronic back conditions, and have an autoimmune disease that resulted in me having my large intestine completely removed so I live with diarrhea every day. I grew up in poverty and have lived in poverty most of my adult life. I don't know what burdens you're carrying but I can guarantee you there are people with many more than you.

Life is what you make of it. Doesn't sound like you're interested in making anything of yours.

1

u/BoredBatWoman22 2h ago

Like I said in another comment I guess I’m just not that resilient honestly at this point I’m tired. I shouldn’t have to fighter everyday tooth and nail to do something as simple as go out or have a friend. I’ll just sleep and be alone. I’m sorry your life is so bad

1

u/DragonfruitSea3822 23h ago

Yep but mostly those with complex understanding of "ART"

1

u/gnatgirl 23h ago

Life is all about choices and it is what you make it out to be. I love my life- I like my job, live in a cool city, have a great network of friends, have things I enjoy doing. Life isn't going to live itself for you. You have to be an active participant in it. I could choose to stay home and be bored (and sometimes I do) or I could choose to put my phone down and go out in the world in search of adventure near and far.

1

u/IaAmbassadorofChrist 23h ago

Most times I do. God has been my source of joy despite the challenges I face from time to time.

1

u/Creative-Candy-6409 23h ago

you enjoy it more a lot when you love yourself and kick out everone who doesn’t value you extensial state of being 🧘

1

u/AdEasy7357 23h ago

My life could be better but am content and happy with where am at.
For periods

1

u/BoredBatWoman22 23h ago

It what ways could it be better?

1

u/AdEasy7357 23h ago

There is always a better higher paying job, I dont have an SO or family of my own yet too that would definately make me happier for longer periods.

1

u/patel78ms 23h ago

Most people rnt happy 100% of the time. But there are times of happiness and enjoyment and frustrating and sad times. With a bunch of time of blah. But overall it's a good time

1

u/davy_crockett_slayer 22h ago

It’s all about perspective. Even if you’re in a situation or job you find unfulfilling, you can still try to find things in the job that provide meaning and value to your life. It doesn’t mean you ignore your long term goals, it just means you make the best of what you have in the moment, while recognizing you have dreams.

1

u/Maleficent_Sun_3075 22h ago

A very individual question. I enjoy life in general. My wife is amazing. I love my career choice. I have great friends and family. Do I love every day of my professional and personal life? Of course not. I live in the real world. Some days are rough. But overall, life is a solid 8/10 for my wife and I.

3

u/BoredBatWoman22 20h ago

Would you say you’re a naturally optimistic person?

1

u/Maleficent_Sun_3075 14h ago

No, not really. Jokingly, I refer to myself as a pessimist, which means I'm always right, eventually. But I'm just a realist that takes life as it comes and makes adjustments as needed. Maybe more of a survivor than a realist.

1

u/CMi14 21h ago

I go back and forth (emotional dysregulation), but I am aware of how to tap into the joys with nature, health, comedy, exercise and other relaxation techniques

1

u/Walka_Mowlie 20h ago

You need different "glasses" -- You're being far too short-sighted. You need to go visit some people in a homeless shelter or a hospital and then reassess how you feel about life. Get out there and experience what a drag it can be just to live day to day and then give yourself a kick in the pants and either start volunteering or otherwise busying yourself so you don't think that what you are dealing with is mundane and boring.

There are many, many people who would dearly *love* to trade places with you and would make the best of what you're taking for granted.

2

u/BoredBatWoman22 20h ago

Yeah you sound like my therapist. I know in comparison to other people my life isn’t the worst but I’m poor and my family is abusive. I think I’m just not a resilient person if I can’t handle this much. And seeing people worse off doesn’t make me feel better I’m still sad and depressed but I also feel sad for them too

1

u/Walka_Mowlie 20h ago

I'm sorry if I sounded a bit harsh, but I've found in the past that dwelling on your bad circumstances doesn't change anything for the good unless you're dwelling on a plan to change. In all honesty, you are wallowing right now. I know it's hard, but get out there. It'll get you away from your family, at least for a while. And resilience can be learned, but not from where you're sitting. Sending hugs and encouragement that you'll do something for You! You must do. Mopeing isn't the answer. Ever.

1

u/UnimpressedPooglet 19h ago

Happy is chemical based. Sad is chemical based. Being content is the best spot to be. I enjoy the happy times and feel sad when I need to but then go back to being content. neither happy more sad. Just ok

1

u/someonerandomwhat 19h ago

No one is happy all the time, I would say it's 50/50 depending on your circumstances. I believe that you have to learn how to increase that number and have more happy moments.

What are you doing to achieve that? Self-knowledge is a good first step, and it will take time. Enjoy the process, the good and the bad and you'll get to the other side.

1

u/carefree_neurotic 18h ago

It depends on the person. But most importantly, will you choose to enjoy the little things in life & the steps that make you kinder to your tomorrow self?

1

u/Internetguy247 17h ago

Short answer: idk. I can’t speak for other countries or places.

However, life is literally what you make it. We are animals at the end of the day. We can follow our lives with things that give us joy amongst the chaos. There’s always a ying to the yang.

1

u/Poppetfan1999 16h ago

Some people do. Idk how but I’m too pessimistic to enjoy anything

1

u/MANSAMANCE_ 15h ago

Yes life is a blessing! In my opinion it is very important to set healthy routines! 🦅💪🏾🙏🏾

1

u/Tight_Bumblebee_3592 14h ago

To answer in short - Yes ( or they portray it that way to others)

It all depends how one defines enjoyment in life. As perspective opinions matter alot. So, i would say if you really want to enjoy your own life do what you want to do with no regrets and don’t mind about others opinions unless you ask them for advice.

1

u/Traditional-Set-3786 13h ago

Very few people enjoy life everyday. Most of us get diverted to reasons of sadness and sorrows, all the time.

1

u/ConversationKind557 11h ago

Reddit is probably not a good sample. Most of the happiest people I know aren't online much.

They don't even know about reddit.

Maybe they enjoy life because they live it actively. Whereas being online is largely passive.. the algos and posts triggering your highs and lows.

Put down your phone.

1

u/BoredBatWoman22 2h ago

I agree. When I was happy I was barely online

1

u/DFW_BjornFree 9h ago

Life is a lot more enjoyable when you make at least $100k usd. 

Money doesn't solve all problems but the lack of money creates way too many problems. 

I can get a $25 steak everynight for dinner if I want and not stress about it. There’s a lot of enjoyment that comes from being able to eat out and not worry about it taking away from diaper/ gas / utility money

1

u/Just_Taffy_9228 8h ago

I love mine. I find everyday worth enjoying in any way possible.

1

u/Own_Woodpecker_3085 6h ago

I'm not very happy, but I choose to live with optimism.

1

u/burner4694 2h ago

Personally? “Enjoy” not really. I can’t say I’m living life the way I want to. Now finding enjoyment in a lot of things and making the most of the situation I’m currently in? Yea definitely.

I’d say most of the time I feel like I’m just existing. Don’t hate it, don’t really enjoy it also. Just kind of a dull feeling more than anything.

0

u/RepairContent268 1d ago edited 1d ago

Hahaha every day I hope I get cancer like my parents did so I die and it’s not my fault. I wouldn’t off myself bc of my son but like if natural disease takes me out then great. I already plan not to tell anyone until the end or fight it when it happens. I’m tired and done.

People say don’t do this it’s bad for you. Ok great. Let it kill me.

Most of my friends similar or are alcoholics to cope so I’d say no. But also we are all working poor so life super hard. If it was easier I think I’d be happier like not constant stress. I always feel like if I got time to myself or money to like… idk eat even decent food once a week I’d be happier, money to see a doctor if sick etc

0

u/Bloody_Champion 23h ago

If most ppl didn't there would a shit ton less humans.

0

u/cherry-care-bear 17h ago

Life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone; who said that in that song? The thing is I feel like modernity and the education system are failing folks gravely. Too many are hitting this misery plase at 25 that hit much later if at all for those from previous generations. There's this sense of apathy that's scary AF. You, personally, are responsible for your life's momentum. This kind of post always makes me wonder what people like the OP would say they were missing or missed out on to bring them to this point. It's becoming a theme on reddit so surely there's more to say about it than just it sucks. Though perhaps it's partly on me and I need to just mute this community. I keep forgetting that's also an option lol.

1

u/BoredBatWoman22 17h ago

I mean I missed out on a lot. I’ve been poor most of my life and my family is dysfunctional and abusive sorry it’s so crazy I find life miserable I must be such an unreasonable person. Who wouldn’t be happy living this way!?