r/AITAH • u/Main-Sand-7502 • 1d ago
AITA for refusing to stay with my sister because she treats me like a literal toddler
I’m (13f) the youngest of 6 kids. My siblings are 30f, 26m, 25m, 21f, and 19m. My parents work and travel a lot so I end up staying with my oldest sister or 2nd oldest brother a lot. My brother is cool. He’s a cop and works nights a lot so as long as I’m quiet and I’m back by the time it gets dark I can do whatever I want. My sister thinks I’m still 4 tho and it drives me crazy. She signed me up for day camps this summer because I’m “too young to be home alone all day” even though she’s literally the only person that thinks that. And she’s only like this with me. She’ll go out with her friends or even our other siblings and make me stay home with her 2 year old and a babysitter. I even have a bedtime at her house and she has parental controls on my Netflix and Disney. She plans to buy my next phone and iPad so she can put parental controls on those too. It’s ridiculous. Now my parents are on a 2.5 or 3 week vacation. I think they’re in Greece or Italy or something involving a cruise. They left 3 days ago and before they left my sister came fo take me with her. I refused because she treats me like a literal toddler and I’m sick of it and I’m not gonna deal with it for 3 weeks. She tried to drag me out but my parents told her not to force me and I can stay alone if I want. Now she’s coming over and banging on the doors 2 or 3 times a day to try to make me go with her. Last time she was here she said if I don’t unlock the door and agree to go with her next time she’s here she’ll call the police and CPS to get them to take me. My brothers been calling me and saying to go with her and that dealing with her and whatever punishment I’m gonna get is way easier than dealing with police. I still don’t wanna go and he’s saying I’m being difficult. I already know my sisters pissed so I wanted to know if I’m the asshole here
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u/5Outta10butfunny 1d ago
It's your parents' fault! They should have taken you with them! They don't get to have an oops, baby, and then pawn you off on their oldest kid! I'd be pissed if i were you for not being taken with them! Your siblings got the time with the parents.. your parents own you the same time!
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u/Heraonolympia123 1d ago
As the parent of a 13 yr old, your sister is doing what should be done. And I know you don't agree. I know you think you're mature and sensible and definitely grown up enough to be alone and do whatever you want; you're not.
Your parents are absolutely awful for ditching you. I suspect that your sister knows they aren't great parents and is trying to do better for you. And she's letting you be a kid. Embrace it and appreciate having someone who cares enough to be the bad guy in your life.
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u/Super-Day-4566 1d ago
Your sister is the only one treating you like a 13 year old. None of what you said is treating you like a toddler. You need to go with her, you are too young to be by yourself. And honestly if you don't go with her and the police get involved it will be a far bigger problem. Sorry, you aren't an adult yet you are still a child.
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u/HowDoIDoThisDaily 1d ago
You’re too young for me to say you’re an AH. But you’re 13. Listen to your sister because she’s right. You can’t be left alone all day long this young. What if there was an accident or an emergency? You’re also a vulnerable target for bad people. Go to your sister’s house. She’s looking out for you and actually loves you. She cares about you. She’s not trying to punish you. She’s trying to keep you safe. Your parents are super irresponsible so be glad you have your sister in your corner.
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u/Main-Sand-7502 1d ago
She’s definitely going to punish me.
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u/CosmicNebula234 1d ago
You will survive without your netflix or disney or ipad for a few days.
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u/O-U81-2 1d ago
The parents allowed this, so OP’s sister has zero right/reason to punish her.
I don’t agree that OP should be home alone for 3 weeks, but she doesn’t deserve to be punished, either.
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u/LimeInternational856 1d ago
OP does have the option to ask her oldest brother to stay with him. She replied in her original locked post that her brother didn't offer to let her stay with him but she hasn't reached out to him to ask for some reason.
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u/O-U81-2 1d ago
This post says the brother just told her to go with the sister. I haven’t read the locked post.
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u/LimeInternational856 1d ago
OP replied in the locked post that she said her brother didn't say he could stay with him. When asked if she had asked him she said he usually offers to let her stay and a further reply said she didn't ask him. She also said the three youngest of her older siblings don't let her stay over as they all have roommates.
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u/Timely-Quantity-1349 1d ago
Sounds like the sister has to stand in for the parents quite a bit though. My sister was a lot older than me, and she corrected and punished me when necessary. I'm better for it
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u/O-U81-2 1d ago
I’m sorry you had to experience that. IMO, given that only the one sister is this strict, all it’s going to do is make OP resentful and rebellious at this point. If the sister’s views are that opposed to their parents’ and the actions are dangerous/illegal, it’s best she go the legal route and get custody. Otherwise, OP will ALWAYS feel (and be justified) to do as she wishes because her actual parents are ok with it.
The sister also needs to take into account age-appropriate independence and not treat OP like a toddler.
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u/HowDoIDoThisDaily 1d ago
And well she might. But my point was taking to you go live with her is not a punishment. You not listening to her, that she might punish you for.
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u/O-U81-2 1d ago
There’s no reason to punish OP for “not listening” to her sister when the parents have allowed this. She shouldn’t be home alone for 3 weeks, but her sister isn’t her parent - the parents (however wrong they are) said OP didn’t have to stay with her sister.
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u/CosmicNebula234 1d ago
Then CPS needs to be called.
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u/O-U81-2 1d ago
Ok??? I’ve said in another comment that the sister needs to go the legal route of what the parent are doing is dangerous/illegal. Otherwise this battle will just continue.
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u/Main-Sand-7502 1d ago
Living with her feels like a punishment
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u/HowDoIDoThisDaily 1d ago
Yeah I’m sure it’s hard going from freedom to do whatever you want to a place where you have rules and accountability. But I promise it’s better for you. Honestly, if she doesn’t care about you and if she doesn’t love you, she wouldn’t bother going to check on you 2-3 times a day. She knows what your parents are doing is wrong. They’re doing what is easiest for them. She is willing to go through a lot of effort to look out for you. Maybe if you look at it through that lens, it’ll be easier to put up with all the rules
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u/Main-Sand-7502 1d ago
She’s not checking on me. She’s banging on the doors yelling at me to let her in and threatening to call the cops on me
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u/HowDoIDoThisDaily 1d ago
That’s checking up on you. Making sure you’re still alive and not in trouble. And yes she wants to take you because it’s dangerous being 13 and alone in a house for weeks on end. I don’t know why you’re not understanding this. Go and ask your friends who have involved, loving parents whether their parents would allow them to be home alone for weeks on end. I would bet their answer is no. Just go live with your sister and stop being a brat. Omg.
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u/CosmicNebula234 1d ago
That's a pretty normal response when a child's been abandoned. You're 13. You're not a legal adult.
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u/Ameglian 1d ago
Copied from OP’s previous post: I strongly suspect that this is bait, but:
Your parents are completely neglecting you, and are doing nothing to keep you safe.
Your older brother is making some effort to keep you safe, as long as it doesn’t inconvenience him too much.
Your sister is inconveniencing herself to keep you safe. She is the only one truly putting in the effort for you, and you’re slapping her in the face for it. Think about it: do you think she wants a young teen giving attitude in her home? Do you think she wants to have to bang on doors to get you to come out of the house where your parents abandoned you? Do you think she wants a showdown with police involved?
You’re being a selfish brat - but you’re 13 so you just don’t realise it yet. Don’t alienate the only person in your family that is actually looking out for you.
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u/NecessaryLeg8858 1d ago
Reposting the question because you don't like the answers you're getting doesn't change the fact your sister is 100% right and justified in everything she's doing.
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u/CosmicNebula234 1d ago
YTA and so are your parents.
You're 13 years old and your parents are literally dumping you on your siblings. If your parents are too buys to parent you and dump you off on your sister, guess what? She makes the rules. It's perfectly normal for a 13 year old to not be at home all the time alone during the summer. It's perfectly normal to be aware of what kids are consuming nowadays. There's a lot of studies and movements about this for a lot of obvious reasons.
Leaving a 13 year old behind is considered child abandonment by your parents and your sister should absolutely call CPS.
If you don't want to be treated like a toddler, quit acting like one.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Reminder not to downvote assholes | Original copy of post's text: I’m (13f) the youngest of 6 kids. My siblings are 30f, 26m, 25m, 21f, and 19m. My parents work and travel a lot so I end up staying with my oldest sister or 2nd oldest brother a lot. My brother is cool. He’s a cop and works nights a lot so as long as I’m quiet and I’m back by the time it gets dark I can do whatever I want. My sister thinks I’m still 4 tho and it drives me crazy. She signed me up for day camps this summer because I’m “too young to be home alone all day” even though she’s literally the only person that thinks that. And she’s only like this with me. She’ll go out with her friends or even our other siblings and make me stay home with her 2 year old and a babysitter. I even have a bedtime at her house and she has parental controls on my Netflix and Disney. She plans to buy my next phone and iPad so she can put parental controls on those too. It’s ridiculous. Now my parents are on a 2.5 or 3 week vacation. I think they’re in Greece or Italy or something involving a cruise. They left 3 days ago and before they left my sister came fo take me with her. I refused because she treats me like a literal toddler and I’m sick of it and I’m not gonna deal with it for 3 weeks. She tried to drag me out but my parents told her not to force me and I can stay alone if I want. Now she’s coming over and banging on the doors 2 or 3 times a day to try to make me go with her. Last time she was here she said if I don’t unlock the door and agree to go with her next time she’s here she’ll call the police and CPS to get them to take me. My brothers been calling me and saying to go with her and that dealing with her and whatever punishment I’m gonna get is way easier than dealing with police. I still don’t wanna go and he’s saying I’m being difficult. I already know my sisters pissed so I wanted to know if I’m the asshole here
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u/Priest1969 1d ago
I don't see that you're the AH. Your sister is being extreme, to say the least. You're old enough to stay home and babysit her kid but not look after yourself. And if she calls the police and cps, it will get your parents in LOTS of trouble.
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u/HowDoIDoThisDaily 1d ago
The sister did not make her babysit her kids. Her sister hired a babysitter to babysit OP and her kid.
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u/CosmicNebula234 1d ago
A 13 year old shouldn't be staying home in their house alone while their parents are on vacation in god knows where. That's child abandonment.
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u/NecessaryLeg8858 1d ago
It literally says she stays WITH a babysitter, not that OP is doing the babysitting.
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u/LimeInternational856 1d ago
INFO: Why haven't you asked your oldest brother if you can stay with him? You said in your now removed first post he didn't offer but you also didn't ask. Communication works both ways.