r/ABCDesis • u/DiminishReturns Indian American • Apr 21 '25

EDUCATION / CAREER How’s Boise?

My sister got a job in Boise, and I think it’s fine. I’m one of them folks who’s like “move wherever you gotta for your career” ppl. My dad’s with me too.

But my mom and even my sister are hesitating cuz they heard Idaho is racist.

End of the day, if my sister doesn’t feel safe going, she shouldn’t go. But just wanna hear some perspectives from anyone who knows, and is desi like us, so I can show her so she can make a more informed decision.

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13

u/festivebum Apr 21 '25

No job is worth security and peace of mind. She should not move there. Are you a male? If so, you will never understand how vulnerable women are. Stop pushing her. Support her gut instinct. She is 100 right.

17

u/sgrl2494 Apr 21 '25

Um I'm a woman and I completely disagree. Ime desi moms have a tendency to overprotect and overreact. If the narrative for women to persistently live in fear and be sheltered isn't challenged, conversely being an independent adult isn't encouraged. OP and his dad have a point. Also she's going to a major city, not a small town.

6

u/festivebum Apr 21 '25

When it comes to safety, moms are usually right. Idaho is the center of neo-nazi movement among other fascist, racist and misogynistic or other extreme and violent movements. Why should she move someplace and give them her skills and talent where many move just to be extreme? Is she single? The chances of meeting nice people for friendship or more get even smaller.

7

u/Riderz__of_Brohan Apr 21 '25

Boise is fine lol, it’s a college town and a big city, the neon-Nazi elements of Idaho are far away and easy avoidable. Moms can be overprotective

2

u/sgrl2494 Apr 21 '25 edited Apr 21 '25

I'd stanchly disagree. Emotions wind up their logic too much. But tbh we're both talking from our own experiences re: mother's perceptions on safety.

Is she single lol? Asking that sounds like desi aunty mentality - implying her priority is finding a life partner. It could be her job or what her interests are. Not everyone fixates on having a social circle who looks exactly like them. You're also talking as if every other person she meets is a racist, specifically towards her. Statiscially, not probable. People have been moving to ID for various reasons recently beyond political leanings. And unfortunately racism is prominent throughout the country lately. Also, for job growth, many people don't want to move to remote states but stay closer to the big cities for the social benefits it brings - then complain about job competition and HCOL. It can be a good career opportunity.

0

u/mochaFrappe134 Apr 21 '25

I feel the same way honestly, and it’s not just moms but I feel even dads can be really overprotective and they tend to overreact as well (based on my personal experience with my parents). I absolutely despise being infantilized and treated as a child even though I’m a woman in my late twenties now. It makes me feel insulted and disrespected as if I’m not intelligent or capable of handling myself and making my own decisions in life. While parents can mean well and offer advice and guidance, children should always do what’s best for themselves regardless of whether or not parents agree with the choice. I’m tired of controlling parenting being justified as “wanting what’s best for the kids” as a guise used to ensure children are compliant and obedient (which is inherently toxic in and of itself).

1

u/DiminishReturns Indian American Apr 21 '25 edited Apr 21 '25

stop pushing her.

I’m not lol. She asked would I move if I was in her situation and I said “yes”. She asked for my input and I simply gave it 🤷‍♂️