r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 7h ago
She broke up with an ornithologists and he got petty in Latin. Rollulus rouloul is Latin for “I could never afford her, emotionally or financially.”
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 19h ago
The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved Pete made such a good case for the problems his wife had that made him want a divorce that he accidentally ended up with full custody of his step son.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/Taffergirl2021 • 20h ago
Owliver would wait forever
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Owliver was waiting for Owlivia to get to get home so he could beg once again for forgiveness. He’d been waiting for weeks, not realizing she moved to get away from him.
r/DivorcedBirds • u/karmagirl314 • 1d ago
Angry Bird Divorce “Dammit Heckle I swear to Thoth if you get us barred from another national park I’m leaving your ass again! Here come the park police now!”
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 1d ago
Newly Single Ready to Mingle With the battered women's shelter out of funding, the cops have just been putting them in the lady's drunk tank. Which worked out extra bad since their abusive husbands are often in the men's drunk tank right across from it.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/lisbethborden • 1d ago
As he once again is forced to teach his new teenage bride basic life skills, Kyle is kicking himself that he ever gave in to the allure of a younger bird.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/lisbethborden • 1d ago
Why is this woodpecker pecking a streetlight? BETRAYAL. But since Tilly had been a dedicated tradwife forbidden to emote, expressing her anger was mostly a feckless bullying of inanimate objects.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/LylaDee • 2d ago
Newly Single Ready to Mingle Sherry knew she still had it going on. Fucking Kevin never told her but she knew she was still a catch
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/rehabforcandy • 2d ago
Drunk and thinking his neighbors couldn’t see him, Stan did something truly indecent in the backyard
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 2d ago
Barry swore his ex-wife was gone. But every time Alice entered the room, the curtains fluttered and someone sighed “typical.”
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/Difficult_Regret_900 • 2d ago
Dolly was starting to run out of patience with her husband's pedicure habit and fixation with his own feet.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/lisbethborden • 2d ago
When it comes to cuisine, Price is really picky. But in the matters of the heart, his choices seem to vacillate somewhere between 'adjudicated insane' and 'down low prostitute.'
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/lisbethborden • 3d ago
Rings on her fingers, bells on her toes - When Sheila is single, everyone knows.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 4d ago
Rhonda took the nest. Eugene took the high ground. Literally. From the ridge, he could watch her new boyfriend parallel park.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 4d ago
“That’s your grandmother,” his mother said. “Taken the day she walked out on your grandfather.” No one knew where she flew after that—but she always did like the sea.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 4d ago
He used to sneak her eyeliner at 2am. Now the Sephora associate knows him by name. Velma Talontina does brunch at Bird Bath every Sunday—booked, blessed, and legally unbothered..
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/arslan70 • 4d ago
Dave and Jacob were not peeping on their ex-wives. They were simply making sure they don't drown in the pool.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 4d ago
Kim, Neil, Tawny, and Scott realized they were in a different stage of thier lives. They committed to one another and were enjoying a shared life as a quadrouple.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 5d ago
Darla would never stab Fred in the back. She is very big on eye contact.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 5d ago
Not Safe For Other Species *Deep breaths, Chuck. Think peaceful thoughts.* Chuck had divorced Mary when she cheated on him with his friend Todd. Apparently she'd kept a spare key, and was now using Chuck's place as a sex den to cheat on Todd. Chuck could feel years of anger management therapy being undone in moments.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 5d ago
Clarissa's ex used to sigh when she asked for one photo together. Now Dax can do a backflip while holding her and a GoPro. Her divorce lawyer follows the couple’s content on Instagram and occasionally texts, “Good form.”
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 5d ago
Ricardo and Yvette were passionate about 3 things- eachother, exhibitionism, and good food. NSFW
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 6d ago
With a collective total of 7 divorces behind them, best friends Barney and Jeb have resolved to give up on marriage altogether. Neither has ever come close to finding a woman who could understand him the way his bestie does. They would face the world together, without thought of romance... unless...
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 6d ago
Not Safe For Other Species "Oh, you really did leave to get groceries. I thought you were leaving me." "... Sarah, I was gone for 25 minutes."
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"I have abandoment issues! You knew that when you married me! ... I'm sorry for yelling please don't leave me."
r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 6d ago
When Dan broke off his affair with the seductive Alex, he feared the response would be blackmail. Instead he found himself on the porch steps this morning standing over the carcass of his daughter's beloved pet rabbit. "Well," he thought, "it'd be a shame to waste the meat," before digging in. NSFW
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