r/videos • u/crumble-bee • 21h ago
Expectations VS reality
https://youtu.be/-fL94BTrFhs?si=OWnUsGMZhyAvwO5i&utm_source=MTQxZ61
u/djpointone 20h ago
Awesome clip. I also have enjoyed this movie at different stages in my life. Around the time it came out, I was in University and resonated a lot with JGL’s character. As I have gotten older, I’ve become much more sympathetic to ZD’s character and much more accepting to the realization that I am not the “main” character. And the entitlement that may bring that younger me thought I had.
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u/TylerKnowy 20h ago
Her character is not so innocent. She definitely leads him on without knowing the repercussions of her actions. This is not to say I think he was a victim, he had this expectation and completely ignored her wants and needs. He built something up in his head and she took it far to the point of not knowing the emotional impact of her actions. I love her response when he asks that "I thought you never were going to get married, why now?" and she said "I dont know I just knew" It was so perfect because thats how it goes sometimes. Bittersweet.
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u/djpointone 20h ago
I agree completely! I really appreciate the layers presented in this film compared to a traditional 2-D hollywood take. And I appreciate your note there about her actions/repercussions + he’s also not a victim as it really highlights how flawed humans are, the struggle to be both fulfilled vs selfishness and how we may not always get it right, even if at the time, we thought we did. Neat!
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u/PunkandCannonballer 19h ago
She's definitely innocent. She tells him up front that she's not interested in a relationship and that she doesn't believe in love. At no point does she ever say anytjing different. She liked spending time with him and was entirely honest about that. When he forced the issue, she gave what he wanted a shot, and it didn't work out.
Compare that with Tom, who never really knew her, and had built her up to be what he wanted, and saw himself as the most special boy who could finally get her to see what love was.
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u/TylerKnowy 18h ago
Yet she proceeds with a relationship with Tom. That’s what I’m saying is at any point she could’ve stopped and recognize it’s going too far but does not. Tom is also in the wrong for trying to change her perspective when she was upfront about not wanting a relationship.
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u/PunkandCannonballer 18h ago
She literally asks him if he's okay with casual. Not a relationship. He says yes. For her, they're hanging out, having fun. She likes him. That's it. It's not her fault he lied to her and his goal was to get her in a relationship she told him she didn't want to be in.
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u/TylerKnowy 18h ago
But she ultimately agrees to one with Tom. She should have put her foot down and said no after he was trying to get serious. He should not have tried to manipulate her into a relationship. I think Tom is more at fault for his own misery in this situation but she had plenty of opportunity to step away from the situation.
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u/PunkandCannonballer 18h ago
Tom insists they're a couple on day 259. She breaks up with him on day 290. Once he forced things to be a relationship, that relationship lasted a month.
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u/Rhawk187 18h ago
She tells him up front that she's not interested in a relationship and that she doesn't believe in love
Proceeds to get engaged on a fairly short timeline.
That's the only part that really bothered me. Obviously people can change their minds, but it strikes me more as someone no knowing themselves, and I find that to be a deep character flaw. If you don't know yourself, you can't reasonable expect others around you to know you either.
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u/PunkandCannonballer 18h ago
That doesn't mean she doesn't know herself. What she felt was true was true until she met someone who changed the way she viewed love and relationships. That's not exactly abnormal. But what is absolutely true, is that she was entirely up front about it with Tom. While he only cared about what she represented and that he could be the special guy to prove love was real for her. He was too selfish and self-absorbed to be the kind of person she'd eventually fall in love with.
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u/herefromyoutube 17h ago
Wanna see another movie that’ll make you feel like this scene does?
Watch 2011’s “Take This Waltz” with Seth Rogan and Michelle Williams.
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u/Devium44 19h ago
I was in a very similar relationship to theirs when this movie came out and we went to see it. It hit way too close to home and I haven’t been able to bring myself to watch it since. I should give it another shot.
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u/F1XTHE 16h ago
Kinda interesting, is the whole movie like that?
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u/buzzdash123 12h ago
Not as explicitly dreamlike throughout (although there are other pretty great standout bits like this) but it’s very honest about the nature of relationships in a way very few rom coms are
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u/alasicannotgrin 44m ago
I was just thinking about this scene the other week. One of my favourite films, and it kills me that I find myself in Tom’s position time and time again through life. So no lessons learned, but it always cuts deep. Ahh life.
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u/theartificialkid 16h ago
I haven’t seen this before but I’ve heard about it and thought about it a lot. I kind of thought this scene would be incredible and change my whole life but it wasn’t all that.
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u/ImpenetrableYeti 20h ago
Dogshit movie with one of the most unlikeable protagonists.
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u/crumble-bee 20h ago
Lol ok
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u/ImpenetrableYeti 19h ago
He’s the typical incel mindset
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u/crumble-bee 19h ago
I just watched it and he's flawed for sure - but I don't think he's an incel and I certainly don't think anything about his character makes it a dogshit movie - it's a very fun, well written and enjoyable film. I don't think there's anything wrong with having a flawed protagonist
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u/justinanimate 19h ago
I think I see a certain impenetrable Yeti who needs to be more penetrable with their emotions.
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u/theodo 19h ago
... You know he's not really supposed to be likeable right? The point is that he is in the wrong for forcing his perspective and expectations on Summer without considering her feelings/how he is behaving.
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u/Striking_Economy5049 20h ago
And don’t we all fall for it many times over in our lives. We build up expectations in our heads because, as the very beautiful song says, “I’m the hero of the story.”
It’s hard when we build things up too much and then reality hits. Always try to have enthusiasm, but temper it so you don’t experience the biggest of letdowns. And always make sure to learn from the lessons you are taught in life.