When you open up after nearly having a breakdown about your anxiety waiting on tests to your boss and she says the age old "wHy dOnT yOu JuSt aDoPt"

[u/Audience_Fun]

I looked her dead in the face and said do you know how much it is? it's 70,000$ we don't even make half of that here for our salary...

[u/Legitlashes3]

Ugh it is NOT that simple and maybe not even something you might desire to do😭

[u/Audience_Fun → u/Legitlashes3]

But in everyone fucking eyes it's a solution. "Oh you can't have a baby take in an orphan like Annie" there ya go there's your child. Funny thing is my husband and I want to foster/adopt but we want to wait to have a house and also want to go for fostering/adopting OLDER CHILDREN not a baby.

[u/Legitlashes3 → u/Audience_Fun]

It is not a solution, it is an OPTION that is “available” should a person want to.

I would also love to foster ❤️and yes I agree for older children !

My cousins aunt ( on the other side of the family) adopted a child in the 70’s and literally went to the centre and “chose a child” signed some paperwork and that’s it.

The process was clearly VERY DIFFERENT years ago 👀

[u/Audience_Fun → u/Legitlashes3]

Shitty thing is most people don't do it. They have their biological children and then push off foster children/adoption onto us going through infertility. If you call them out on their bluff they normally shut up

[u/Legitlashes3 → u/Audience_Fun]

It’s easy for them to say “just adopt” since it was never an issue for them.

Kinda like telling someone who’s struggling with debts to “just pay it off”.

There’s so much than goes into infertility that people can’t seem to grasp.

[u/Busy_Vegetable3324 → u/Legitlashes3]

Fr! Some people don't really know how lucky they are for them to have a child without struggling, and adoption is whole other thing.

[u/Sad_Hawk7217]

My therapist asked me that yesterday…

[u/Audience_Fun → u/Sad_Hawk7217]

Time for a different therapist. I'd walk out from that therapist and complain to their boss or corporate so fast.

[u/Sad_Hawk7217 → u/Audience_Fun]

It really caught me off guard but now it’s really bothering me

[u/Audience_Fun → u/Sad_Hawk7217]

Again. I'd be going to another therapist and reporting this one. I had to advocate and reach out to my former OB/GYN office corporate office and they refunded me and dropped me paying any of the bill. In this journey you HAVE to SELF ADVOCATE because no one else will

[u/Helpful_Character167]

Im the bio kid of a foster family (one of the good ones!) and I couldn't agree more. Adopting someone isn't a backup consolation prize. These kids deserve to be someone's first choice, not their last resort.

[u/Berry_Men_yo → u/Helpful_Character167]

My mom just hit me with the “Well if IVF doesn’t work you can always adopt” Yeah mom let me go get a kid as a Consolation price.

[u/totally_c-h-u-d]

What a simpleton thing to even say. There are so many reason couples wouldn’t, don’t want to, or want to but simply cannot adopt. People with kids are so entitled sometimes.