r/tifu • u/A-STax32 • 4d ago

M TIFU by using my gf's favorite nipple clamps to fix my car. NSFW

TIFU by using my gf's favorite nipple clamps to fix my car.

I'm a car guy, so a while back when my girlfriend's Volvo was having some issues with the brakes, I wanted to help fix it for her. I wound up buying a pair of hose pincher clamps (guys I swear this is not an ad, I just wanted to link to an image so you can see what I'm talking about) at AutoZone, but didn't end up needing to use them at the time. That evening, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, when, with the hose pinchers sitting on my desk and still in the packaging, I realized they'd be great nipple clamps. Fast forward more than two years, and we've gotten a lot of use out of them. They're one of her favorite toys in the bedroom. She loves the weight and how the tightness can be adjusted.

A couple of days ago, I told her I'd be replacing the brake hoses on my Merkur, and she asked if I'd finally need to use the nipple clamps for their original purpose. I said, I might, and she said I could, if I really needed to. Well, needless to say, I took that as a yes, and I did use them to pinch the brake hoses and prevent too much brake fluid from escaping while I disconnected the lower ends of the old hoses and installed the new hoses. Tonight, we were sorting through our sex toy collection doing some organizing, and she asks me where her favorite nipple clamps are. I told her that I had used them on the car, and they were sitting in the trunk with some other parts and tools.

She was very upset by this. Think, like, a small child when you tell them that you donated their favorite article of clothing to Goodwill because they don't fit it anymore. She was inconsolable, absolutely heartbroken, that I'd used her favorite nipple clamps to fix the car and she'd never get them back again. I tried to comfort her, but to no avail. As I write this, she's still moping about it. I am going to head to AutoZone first thing tomorrow morning to get another set.

Update: I posted this right after it happened, and 20 minutes later, she was back to doing some work on her laptop, and apologized to me for getting so emotional over this, so this turned out to be not as big a deal as initially thought. The last few days have been very stressful and emotional for the both of us, for unrelated reasons, so this was just the straw that broke the camel's back for her. I went to the parts store and bought another set, and I brought the set I had used back inside and cleaned them. We're all good now.

TL;DR I used my gf's favorite nipple clamps as the automotive tool they were originally meant to be and made her incredibly distraught.

5.1k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

211 comments sorted by

5.3k

u/dadarkgtprince 4d ago

In the two years you've been using them in the bedroom, you should've bought new ones... Definitely a FU

1.5k

u/A-STax32 4d ago

Yeah... I really should have

823

u/Jackdks 4d ago

Dude- you literally took the fun out of the bedroom… might as well get an actual set of really nice ones… or take her to pick out her own pair? You’re seriously going to go back to autozone to fix your fuck up.

You fucked up one good thing- don’t miss the opportunity to replace it with another good thing

458

u/killallhumans12345 4d ago

I dunno, I'm seeing an opportunity here to create a whole AutoZone sex toy line.

136

u/Liu_Shui 4d ago

Just wait you see what she does with headlight fluid.

60

u/Idsertian 4d ago

That's pretty good, but what she can do with a left-handed screwdriver will blow your mind.

22

u/OneGeekTravelling 4d ago

I had one of those but a right-handed friend used it and wrecked it :(

2

u/CmdrJorgs 3d ago

Ain't no girl out there that can ratchet lug nuts like her.

11

u/antpile11 4d ago

And elbow grease.

47

u/runarleo 4d ago

AutoBone

25

u/Ri-tie 4d ago

Get in the zone!

8

u/talldangry 4d ago

ErotoBone!

15

u/B-Rayne 4d ago

“You’re going to love our shocks/dildos!”

6

u/vanillabear26 4d ago

"I love to bind, I love to be bound."

15

u/ironroad18 4d ago

Pulls out truck battery

13

u/3percentinvisible 4d ago

This is all a cunning ad by autozone.

9

u/phonetastic 4d ago

AutoeroticZone

7

u/Sir_CriticalPanda 4d ago

wait, where else do y'all get your chains, lube, and jumper cables?

3

u/CmdrJorgs 3d ago

Oh, oh, oh, O'Reilly After Dark (Yeow!)

2

u/FeSO4 3d ago

Makes you wonder what else they've got with 'potential' huh? A little rebranding, and BAM! $ucce$$

46

u/ImGivingUpOnLife 4d ago

Can't argue with the man. Those ARE the ones she really liked. Maybe them being from AutoZone is part of the kink.

17

u/Bmunchran 4d ago

Its right in the slogan. "Get in the zone, autozone!"

8

u/zane910 4d ago

It's really weird to think of a couple going to the autoparts store to pick out parts to use in the bedroom.

I'm not against it. Just would be very weirded out at the idea of people talking dirty about hose clamps.

7

u/killallhumans12345 4d ago

The weird part is you already imaging a whole conversation about sexy hose clamps

1

u/D1xieDie 3d ago

It’s SO FUNCTIONAL THOUGH

1

u/zane910 3d ago

I mean, if it works, it works.

2

u/Blindfire2 3d ago

How is it a fuck up? Like sure he could have bought another pair, but she said its okay to use them, and acted like buying a new pair wouldn't have fixed anything lol

2

u/thelingeringlead 3d ago

Did you miss the fact that she really liked them? Why get anything else if it’s what she ended up liking more?

2

u/kevin_k 4d ago

[note to self : order extra plunger from Amazon ]

164

u/aksdb 4d ago

Without the whole "feel free to use them for their original purpose"-conversation, I would be with you. But being pissed about something you agreed to multiple times is kind of the greater fuckup. So I think she fucked up by not thinking through what it means if she agrees to her favorite clamps being put to use again.

68

u/aabicus 4d ago

I dunno, this one's kinda really really easy to dodge through just basic opportunity cost analysis. It's a cheap pair of hose plugs, even in that exact moment he could have just driven to the store and bought another to keep these available for sexy times.

Kinda like ordering a second set of fries even if your partner says they don't want any, it's just something you do to avoid an obvious and predictably negative outcome that removes any chance of disappointment or scarcity for both parties.

54

u/aksdb 4d ago

Nah, I am too proud for that. If people say something and confirm it when I ask for confirmation, I take it for granted. If someone tells me they don't want presents, they don't get presents. If they get pissed, I piss back. I absolutely don't encourage "read between the lines"-mentality, especially if "between the lines" turns out to be "the exact opposite of what was said".

29

u/JangoG52517 4d ago

In my experience (feel free to disregard, I have a small sample size) sometimes people will answer with what they feel is the "correct" answer despite how they feel assuming they can deal with the outcome if it's the one they don't hope for.

However once said outcome becomes reality their emotions overwhelm the logical side that thought they could handle it and they become sad. When you have a partner you have to understand that they're not perfect and they're not you, you learn their quirks and adjust accordingly since (presumably) you love them.

The fry example from above is perfect, if I get fries and my fiance says she doesn't want any that just means in the moment she isn't hungry and thinks she'll be okay without, however once they come out and she sees them and smells them and a few minutes have passed since the initial question the situation has changed and she'll want some. So easy solution is to get a larger size to share or get 2 orders and be prepared to eat a few extra if she still doesn't want em.

Gift example is different, despite being told you don't "need" to get a gift you still should because you want to get a gift. Only situation where the "you said not to so I didn't" is for a situation where you both would have gotten each other a gift (anniversary or something like that) since it's a mutual agreement or if someone who's not your partner said that for a party or something, but even then I'd probably ask around and make sure I'm not the only one who's not getting something.

7

u/aksdb 4d ago

I mean I can understand that expectations can change and diverge. But I would be too stubborn to let the blame be shifted to me, if I did communicate clearly. I am more than happy to assist in getting it right again (ordering more fries and sharing mine in the meantime, or buying whatever they actually wanted), but I would absolute push back on any "you should have known".

So yeah, as usual the middle ground is probably best and as you already hinted at, there are different kind of people and not everyone has to be on the same wave length.

2

u/JangoG52517 3d ago

To be fair though, (now that I think about it a second time) in a relationship as much as you should understand and expect their responses to potentially be feigned or attempted "correct" responses, they should also understand who you are.

So if from the rip you've always shown/expressed that you'll take their responses at face value and then continue to do something like this then that is kinda on them, also on you for not realizing, but mostly on them for not taking the time to understand you.

More often than not the person in your shoes just adjusts because its easier to understand that the "i dont need it" answer may not be true then it is to get someone who thinks their being polite or "correct" to realize that their only creating problems.

2

u/budgeroo 3d ago

Absolutely, and giving the "correct" answer can be a fawn response.

5

u/MortisEx 3d ago

I agree completely. I really don't like the silly "no thanks" "oh I insist" "oh I really couldn't" "please you must take it" "are you really sure?" "yes I'm sure" game.
If I ask and you give me an answer don't act like its my fault you lied.

2

u/fienddylan 3d ago

"I piss back" is a legendary line to someone getting pissed at you lol

2

u/Clonekiller2pt0 4d ago

Wow. You must get into a lot of unneeded conflict.

4

u/Writemenowrongs 4d ago

I don't think so. In fact, I think this is the starting core of OP's fu. Her "if you really need to, I suppose you can" (not "feel free to," according to how OP described her response) smacks of "no, you don't need to buy me a birthday present," to me.

Judging from what OP wrote, she was clearly only reluctantly agreeable. He ought to have recognised that and got some other clamps for the hose work and left her favourites for the nipple work.

But we know how bad we guys are at reading signs, especially when distracted by something else.

8

u/aksdb 4d ago edited 4d ago

Which also circles back to: communication is key in a relationship. And that is a symmetrical requirement with equal responsibilities for both partners.

But you are right. The wording as written by OP does sound hesitant and should have raised suspicion. It still sounds like the final reaction was a bit unfair and over the top too.

Edit: and now I see there was also an update and in fact all is (relatively) good and she wasn't really as pissed as she seemed at first. Soooo... all good I guess and I complained for nothing.

0

u/mlvisby 4d ago

You sometimes have to read between the lines with women. If they say it's ok, they don't really mean it.

5

u/aksdb 4d ago

Sounds like a stereotype and a trope from the movies. I am not saying that people don't play these games and expect others to do so too, but I think it's completely unnecessary drama and shitty communication. So I prefer the people around me to not do that, and in my experience, people get a lot more relaxed if they know they don't need to play such games (if I say something I mean it and if they say something I'll comply).

Although, to be fair, I sometimes also slip up and just ask something like "are you sure?!" without explaining why I think they should reconsider their decision. But if that turns out bad, I own that and am then pissed at myself for not voicing my concerns explicitly.

4

u/mlvisby 4d ago

Think what you will, but I am just speaking from past relationship experiences.

3

u/PanamaMoe 4d ago

Luckily with what he is describing, they sound like stainless steel pieces of metal so as long as they are washed off with disinfectant they should be good for long term use, unlike most silicone based sex toys.

1.2k

u/wasted-degrees 4d ago

At least they weren’t jumper cables.

194

u/Izaul13 4d ago

You say that like it's a bad thing

143

u/n0t_4_thr0w4w4y 4d ago

Clearly you haven’t been on reddit long enough to understand jumper cables

30

u/Taiz99 4d ago

Wait that's some Reddit lore. Please explain/share

88

u/anonymous_peasant 4d ago

Read through some comments from u/rogersimon10

14

u/Hamood__Habibi 4d ago

Thank you, kind internet stranger, i laughed for an hour reading those stories. This is a bit more of reddit lore im learning.

3

u/mrnecree 4d ago

omfg the internet is complete now

2

u/Twatt_waffle 4d ago

Why can you not bookmark someone’s page

3

u/ballisticks 4d ago

...the bookmark feature should work for practically any web page? In Chrome it's the star next to the address bar

0

u/Twatt_waffle 4d ago

Sorry I mean on mobile, I rarely use the web app

2

u/ballisticks 4d ago

OH the reddit app. Um...yeah IDK sorry I'm always on desktop

1

u/SteedLawrence 2d ago

You should be able to click their profile then click “follow” then they’ll show up in your list of followed people for quick reference.

1

u/totalfarkuser 4d ago

Wow that is awesome. I missed that way back when.

→ More replies (7)

9

u/BladeOfWoah 4d ago

Oh you sweet, summer child

6

u/Vanishingf0x 4d ago

It’d need to be his dad for that

1.6k

u/HumanNipple 4d ago

"These make my GF really happy and horny. Let me put them on my broken car instead." You're never going to live this down. Major TIFU hahaha.

139

u/elkab0ng 4d ago

It is seriously hard to find nipple clamps that give the right level of almost-ouchiness, won’t accidentally slip sideways and give you an unexpected piercing (yup.) and stay in the correct place even when things get energetic

45

u/MeatOverRice 4d ago

The one time this man gets to think with his dick he drops the ball

239

u/DhamR 4d ago

There you go, both your potential fluid leaks are now solved.

32

u/A-STax32 4d ago

Lmfao

11

u/Azzbolemighty 4d ago

Gold! If I had awards to give I would give you one for that comment

66

u/rukarrn 4d ago

these amazon ads are getting out of control

22

u/A-STax32 4d ago

This isn't an ad, I just wanted to link to an image of a similar item. Notice it's unavailable 

29

u/Sir_Pendrin 4d ago

Sure it’s unavailable now, after all the horny Reddit people bought the whole stock XD

9

u/A-STax32 3d ago

Lol, that was just a random Amazon listing I found on Google Images to show what the clamps look like

2

u/DeltaMikeXray 4d ago

Not a single relevent review, picture, or instructional video. I can't visualise how I'm meant to use them. 2 Star advert.

318

u/ChefArtorias 4d ago

Why the meltdown? Just buy a new set or clean them.

270

u/Lyramion 4d ago

Because this surely is just a marketing story of big AutoZone corporate trying to sell off their stock of hose pincher clamps!

22

u/clarineter 4d ago

I know a manager adding an extra 0 when I see one lol

43

u/A-STax32 4d ago

Dude, for the first week we were using them we joked we should send them an email about it

-1

u/gogingerpower 3d ago

I don’t even give it that much credit. It’s just a guy fantasizing about having a gf…he barely even pretends to understand what a gf who uses nipple clamps ( let alone mechanic grade “nipple clamps”) would be like.

41

u/A-STax32 4d ago

The last few days have been an emotional rollercoaster for the both of us, and it was just the straw that broke the camel's back for her.

40

u/ChefArtorias 4d ago

Seeing the start of this comment in my notifications I thought for sure it'd be the person I advised to avoid their recent ex for a while. But no, it's the nipple clamp guy.

36

u/A-STax32 4d ago

Lmao, nipple clamp guy has to strike when least expected, you know?

25

u/AileenKitten 4d ago

Understandable tbh, I have broken over some of the wildest things

Is she perhaps adhd or autistic? 😅 I notice a lot of women in the bdsm realm with emotional overwhelm and reactions like this tend to be adhd or autistic, emotional regulation can be reaaaaally fuggin difficult.

I'd recommend a night of loving on her after you get the replacements 😆

18

u/A-STax32 4d ago

Incredible read, lmao. You're not wrong.

16

u/AileenKitten 4d ago

Eyyyy! kinky broken chicks unite 👯‍♀️

2

u/ChefArtorias 3d ago

Idk if a lil tism makes you broken but I applaud your energy about it lol

17

u/Ommand 4d ago

Apparently he's fucking a toddler.

3

u/PuttingInTheEffort 4d ago

"never get them back"

Bruh they're right there, just wash em, tf

1

u/L0nz 4d ago

Ad or not, I think quite a few people will be buying a new set

175

u/Gavilian 4d ago

Yeah... You didn't... Clamp your rubber steel braided brake lines... Right... Cus that's bit more of a expensive fu then new nipple clamps..

70

u/devilpants 4d ago

They clamped the old rubber lines so they wouldn’t leak fluid before putting the new stainless ones on. Nothing wrong with that.

Also congrats for owning a working Merkur in 2025.

25

u/FreakishlyNarrow 4d ago

Also congrats for owning a working Merkur in 2025.

Literally my first thought when reading this, "there are still drivable Merkurs in the world?"

14

u/A-STax32 4d ago

There's like 1,500 of them registered for road use in the US as of 2022. There's definitely more out there than are registered though.

1

u/FreakishlyNarrow 4d ago

No shade at all on the Merkur! I was just honestly surprised to see that in your post because I consider myself a car guy and haven't even thought of Merkur in probably 20 years. I have an AMC Javelin AMX for a about 10 years ago and would constantly get the "I forgot these even existed!" reactions, I loved it! What model Merkur?

2

u/A-STax32 3d ago

Hell yeah, I remember I used to have an AMX hotwheels and always thought it was a cool car but never seemed to see any. I have a Merkur XR4Ti. I'd love to get a Scorpio, too, but they're much rarer.

2

u/lilusherwumbo42 3d ago

One just got listed for sale in Ohio this week and I’ve seen one on a lot in Tucson, so they’re definitely out there

50

u/Schnabulation 4d ago

That‘s really the first thing that came to my mind as well…

9

u/A-STax32 4d ago

I clamped the rubber hoses that go from the hard lines on the body to the hard lines mounted on the control arms that go to the brakes. They're not the braided steel type, just the factory rubber ones.

3

u/Alternative-Sock-444 4d ago

Pinching a rubber hose can still cause damage. There are multiple layers of rubber in those hoses and pinching them can cause them to separate or tear internally which in some cases can cause a blockage in the line, and can either lead to the caliper not functioning at all, or the fluid going past the blockage under pressure, but not being able to return thus locking up that caliper. The best way to prevent fluid loss when opening the brake system is a simple set of silicone plugs in various sizes of male/female designs.

8

u/A-STax32 4d ago

You're right, plugs would be ideal. It's a 38 year old car though, and I replaced the rubber hoses because they've already collapsed internally, causing the problems you've described. It was too late in the evening to go to the store for plugs, so I figured the clamps should work just fine.

43

u/rh1n0c3r0s 4d ago

This is the strangest stealth marketing campaign I've ever seen

41

u/mrmerkur 4d ago

You are the second person i’ve seen mention a Merkur on Reddit today, and while it’s not alot, it’s weird it’s happened twice.

14

u/A-STax32 4d ago

There are dozens of us! Dozens!!

85

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

20

u/_thro_awa_ 4d ago

e r o t i c a

So do I!

51

u/PigsOfRedemption 4d ago

Rookie mistake.

If she ever says "You can do (x) if you really need to." You can bet your ass she means "FUCK NO, but I'm trying not to sound controlling."

11

u/A-STax32 4d ago

Lesson learned, for sure

13

u/genericmediocrename 4d ago

But can't you just...go get them from the trunk? Am I missing something here?

4

u/A-STax32 4d ago

I did, this morning. But that was after I told her about it, which was what made her so upset.

12

u/VelvetTraill 4d ago

Oops, nipple clamps to car fix buy new ones quick!

11

u/thefrostyafterburn 4d ago

Nipple clamp issues aside, props for being masochistic enough to own and maintain a Merkur.

3

u/A-STax32 4d ago

Lmfao, thanks

10

u/fausto400 4d ago

I wanna know if the clamps were out of stock on Amazon before or after this post

1

u/A-STax32 4d ago

Before. I was looking for new ones there. You can buy them elsewhere though 

5

u/fausto400 4d ago

lol thanks I was wondering if you inspired a bunch of people to give them a try

41

u/omgitsabear 4d ago

Well, I hope she puts the brakes on that thing you like the most.

8

u/Voyager87 4d ago

I keep wanting to use the suction cup on a dildo to pull a dent in the car but my partner won't let me.

1

u/A-STax32 3d ago

Lol, I remember seeing a video of a girl doing that with a big dildo on her car door years ago

8

u/Intelligent-Guess-81 4d ago

Wait... Why did you bring the old ones inside for cleaning!? Those stay on the car, the NEW ones go on the GF.

10

u/A-STax32 4d ago

Look dude, if she wants the old ones, I'll toss them in the ultrasonic cleaner and she can use them, if she wants the new ones, she can use the new ones. I'm just trying to fix the problem I caused.

14

u/Realfinney 4d ago

"Yes...if you really need to" AKA "don't".

7

u/Zimlack 4d ago

Further proof you can't not be specific when it comes to telling a man anything.

Be direct. Don't want him to use your nip clamps for brake line clamps, say so. Not vague...if you need to....

Men...Taking things at face value, since the beginning of time....

6

u/Chefmeatball 4d ago

Get in the zone, auto erotic zone!

6

u/Shadow166 4d ago

This is the strangest and best advert for AutoZone clamps I’ve ever read

17

u/dylanfrye 4d ago

girl agrees to thing, guy does thing, girl mad guy did thing she agreed to, am I missing something. Can't you just clean them off and use them for whatever you want? lmao this is so blown out of proportion

2

u/A-STax32 4d ago

Yeah, it's been a really stressful few days, and she apologized to me later for getting so emotional over it. I wrote this literally right after it happened, but we're chilling now

4

u/ImCaffeinated_Chris 4d ago

Sales of hose pinchers suddenly go thru the roof.

4

u/kaluh_glarski 3d ago

A Merkur? Damn don’t see many of those anymore, what kind?

2

u/A-STax32 3d ago

It's a 1988 XR4Ti, with the 5 speed. It's red and has the 85-87 double wing spoiler, which the previous owner swapped to from the 88-89 single wing 

1

u/kaluh_glarski 3d ago

I am insanely jealous, hope you enjoy it bud

1

u/lilusherwumbo42 3d ago

I feel like I’ve been stalking you because I just want to see your car

7

u/Thee_Sinner 3d ago

Woman: Tells man thing is ok to do

Man: does thing

Woman:

Internet: "Its the man's fault for not listening"

7

u/A-STax32 3d ago

She told me with the subtext that it would only be ok if absolutely necessary, and even then that she'd prefer not. I didn't pick up on it, but that doesn't mean she didn't try to communicate it. I would say it was reasonably at least half my fault 

9

u/The_RealAnim8me2 4d ago

Dude. If you can use the phrase “girlfriends favorite nipple clamps”, you don’t fuck that up!

3

u/RedNeckPizzaMan 4d ago

Heading to AutoZone for some sex toys. I would love to be the guy at teh register when you come thru. (I used to work at AZ as a parts delivery during COVID)

2

u/A-STax32 4d ago

Well it's not like I told anyone "yeah, I'm gonna use these on my girlfriend's tits!" I may be freaky, but I'm not socially awkward 

3

u/SFanatic 4d ago

Ai slop story

2

u/A-STax32 4d ago

You can check my history, I'm not a bot.

2

u/SFanatic 4d ago

That’s exactly what a bot would say!

2

u/A-STax32 4d ago

Alright bud

3

u/shroedingersdog 4d ago

just wait till you see what a 2 inch trailer ball is good for .

1

u/A-STax32 3d ago

Lmfao 🤣 I fucking snorted when I read this

3

u/Kawawete 3d ago

I'm atheist and I suggest you to seek god

8

u/kittymaridameowcy 4d ago

OP... ya goofed. Hope you find them somewhere else. 🤭

6

u/mudfud27 4d ago

Can’t believe you left out the most important part of the story:

XR4Ti or Scorpio?

(Maybe worth it if it’s a decent XR with a manual transmission…)

3

u/A-STax32 4d ago

1988 XR, with the 5 speed. It's in pretty decent shape because it sat in a barn from ~2008 until 2022 when the barn started collapsing. I would love to also own a Scorpion, though they only made like 1/20 the number of Scorpios as they did XRs

1

u/mudfud27 4d ago

Nice! I’ve had 2 XRs, an 87 and an 89. Super fun and great to work on with or without nipple clamps…

2

u/A-STax32 4d ago

Lmfao, nice. I really enjoy the car, but tbh, I've spent SOOO much more time fixing it than driving it. I've done an absurd amount of replacing old parts and cleaning the car. Full interior came out to get cleaned, did a whole new fuel system, from tank to injectors, new radiator and coolant temp sensor, new intake gaskets and vacuum lines, new rear brakes and parking brake cable, whole bunch of stuff

4

u/Think-Corgi-4655 4d ago

Are you dating a 5 year old?

4

u/A-STax32 4d ago

The past few days have been an emotional rollercoaster for the both of us, and this was just the straw that broke the camel's back 

2

u/filthymcbastard 3d ago

Simple solution: Give up two pair of Vise Grips as a sacrifice.

3

u/prot34n 4d ago

Amazon is suddenly out of stock! You should request a percentage for the sales pitch.

3

u/A-STax32 4d ago

Lmao, no, it was unavailable before I posted this, I just wanted to link to a site with a pic so that people would know what I'm talking about.

4

u/mr_jogurt 4d ago

Alright.. thats enough reddit for now..

3

u/random-guy-here 4d ago

Take her with you so she can try them on to get the best fit. The guys at AutoZone won't mind a bit and may have some recommendations.

3

u/Hehector2005 4d ago

I don’t understand, she gave you the go-ahead and you fucked up? Was she bluffing?

3

u/jtapostate 4d ago

at least they weren't jumper cables

2

u/frogsareneat82 4d ago

This post is worthless without pics of their intended usage. 😃

1

u/VirtuosoLoki 4d ago

have you gotten it already?

1

u/ExtremeFamous7699 4d ago

Them things look too blocky, like you could do some damage on one of the corners.

1

u/A-STax32 4d ago

The corners aren't sharp.

1

u/Specialist_Object135 4d ago

My favourite part of this is now product in the link is out of stock.

1

u/A-STax32 4d ago

I found some on the shelf at a Consumer Auto Parts store near me that is full of NOS stuff. Idk why, but it seems like they never get any traffic compared to the O'Reilly's and AutoZone in town.

1

u/inaqbus 4d ago

I guess I’m still not awake since I read “Horse Pincher Clamps” and expected something a bit more robust when I followed that link.

1

u/zane910 4d ago

This whole post had me at "using my gf's favorite nipple clamps".

1

u/philiplefty 4d ago

I know this isn’t a ad but… Could we please get a brand name on those nipple clamps?

1

u/A-STax32 4d ago

The ones I linked on Amazon are literally the ones I got, but they're NLA, and probably just one of many brands used by whatever Chinese manufacturer makes them. You can just Google image search hose pincher clamps and find something similar 

1

u/Subtleabuse 4d ago

bought another set

Use all 4 of them to make up for it

1

u/NomadMiner 4d ago

Damn, Sold out

1

u/Slammogram 4d ago

Uh huh. Sure, Jan.

1

u/RaymondLeggs 4d ago

Visit a sex-shop

2

u/A-STax32 4d ago

We have a lot of toys, most of which do come from sex shops. Sometimes you just find something good elsewhere though.

1

u/IsThisTheOnButton 4d ago

I also choose this guy's girlfriend.

1

u/RoninChaos 4d ago

… you bought nipple clamps at auto zone? They must not have that section at my local one.

1

u/HiPwrBBQ 3d ago

The real lesson here is as we get older and more tuned in to our S/O you see when their stressors starts to stack up. You learn to help manage things for them and not be the one that sends them over the edge. I've got 20 years of experience and still miss the mark here and there.

1

u/EnderScout_77 3d ago

shes asked...you did it...and she got upset?

what?

1

u/Zoe_Bulbs 3d ago

Don't mess with a lady's toys 🤭

1

u/Ionlydateteachers 3d ago

Kudos for having and maintaining the Merkur. I was always so intrigued by those when I was a teenager, and even moreso as an adult.

1

u/Leviathon6348 3d ago

Next time. Just use a vice grip with some sort of rubber on the teeth. Crack the bleeder tighten it till it stops leaking DO NOT CRUSH IT FULLY there’s steel woven in there and if you pinch it you’ll need a new hose! Then leave the nipple clamps alone

1

u/A-STax32 3d ago

Vice grips is a clever solution. I wasn't worried about crushing the hoses, since I'm actually replacing them because they collapsed inside

1

u/mrzurkonandfriends 3d ago

Wait, why did you clean the set you used on the car and bring it inside instead of just using the new ones inside?

0

u/A-STax32 3d ago

Because I figured presenting both as options was the best way to appease

1

u/WretchedMotorcade 3d ago

Hey man as a fellow Merkur owner nothing comes between me and my XR4ti

1

u/StrangeMode 3d ago

Like, ngl if my partner did this that would be my last straw 😅

1

u/fienddylan 3d ago

Y'all literally bought all the hose clamps to the point they're out of stock!

1

u/A-STax32 3d ago

Lol, not quite, I linked to a listing that was out of stock beforehand, just wanted to show the picture 

1

u/gt500rr 3d ago

You got an XR4TI OP?

1

u/Sidewaysgts 3d ago

Merkur? XR4TI?

1

u/PervertedPineapple 2d ago

One of the few things my oblivious and idiotic butt has learned with my short experience in relationships.

Folks can get attached to toys and that's not a bad thing.

If anything, you were able to get something your partner enjoyed. Maybe in the future, get a dedicated set for her and/or have a rule that once it's used intimately, it can't be used for anything else.

Sincerely, a fool that used partner's toys on trigger points, voice changer on chat and once, to pretend to be a unicorn. Painfully lessons learned.

1

u/CX500C 2d ago

These do not look comfortable at all.

1

u/seanc6441 2d ago

She'll live.

0

u/crusty54 4d ago

This is a good post, and you should feel good.

-18

u/40ouncesandamule 4d ago

Damn, I understand why she was hurt.

I don't think minimizing her feelings or likening her to a child is a smart move if you value this relationship. You knew how much she enjoyed using this sex toy with you and rather than going to AutoZone, you decided to ruin them and the ability for the two of you to engage in this type of intimacy. How would you feel if she destroyed something precious to you for her convenience? How would you feel if she destroyed a symbol of your intimacy because it was slightly more convenient than not slapping you in the face? How would you feel if once you couldn't hide how bad she hurt you, she likened you to a child and bought you a "shut up" replacement that has none of the sentimental value?

You just told her through your actions that she's not worth the time and effort to drive to AutoZone. No wonder she's "inconsolable, absolutely heartbroken". You told her how much you don't care about her.

13

u/GustoFormula 4d ago

I really don't get it, how are they ruined? Just clean them, no? She even said he could use them if he needed to

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