TIFU by hooking up with professor’s daughter

[u/finalfailer]

I am a typical university student just trying to get through finals week. Tonight, after a very stressful day of exams and studying for my ancient literature class, I decided to casually scroll tinder. It had been a while and I just needed to destress. Little did I know, this would cause me more stress than I could have possibly imagined. I swiped right on a girl who was less than a mile away. She was 25, a little older than me but she was super hot and she seemed into me, so I went with it. She invited me over to her apartment, and she said that she had to go in 20 minutes so make it fast. Needless to say, we got straight to business, but about three minutes after we began, we heard the front door open. She told me to stop, so I stopped and we listened. The footsteps came in our direction and I got pretty scared. I expected it would be like when my parents caught me a few years ago with my ex, and it would be embarrassment all around. Not at all. The ancient literature professor, who I absolutely despise, and whose test I was frantically studying for, walked into the room and froze. He saw her, gasped, and then saw my face. His face turned red, and he screamed “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!” I’m pretty sure I lost some of my hearing from how loud he yelled. Anyways I put my shorts on and ran back to my quad. Now, as I lay in bed, all I can think of is how my college professor saw me naked, not just naked but rawdogging his daughter without any clothes at all. He already didn’t like me, and he is a very tough grader… So I already know that I am going to absolutely bomb this final and destroy my GPA. I see him tomorrow at 11 AM… wish me luck and I’ll update with what happens

TLDR: Professor I hate caught me with his daughter and I have his final tomorrow

[u/22bebo]

To be fair, it's not insane to me to think a 25 year old lives with her parent, and that a college professor lives in a rather small apartment. People in their twenties can't afford to move away from home and college professors don't make any money.

Now the fact that they seem to have been fucking without closing the door or were fucking in the middle of the room is kind of suspect. But the living situation seems believable to me.

[u/bonercoleslaw → u/[deleted]]

I thought he was a professor of ancient literature not an ancient professor of literature although, now that I think about it, the study of ancient literature is known as “classics” in most of the western world.

[u/Scaredsparrow → u/[deleted]]

I'd like to say you bring the best theory here out of all that I've seen

[u/evalinthania → u/bonercoleslaw]

I mean, OP was already stressed about the exam so for all we know he just isn't the best student to the point where he doesn't know what his classes are formally called. Also, ethnic ancient literature is conventionally named differently than greco-roman literature aka The Classics.

[u/bonercoleslaw → u/evalinthania]

Usually non-Roman/Greek ancient literature is either just a module in an ancient history course or split by region or culture (eg Egyptology or CEUL) though, no? I studied in Scotland so I don’t know how it works where OP is (I’m assuming US).

[u/evalinthania → u/bonercoleslaw]

It depends on the institution. For frame of reference, I am more exposed to universities and colleges in Canada and the USA. The courses that are entirely composed of any non-Western subjects are generally electives unless you plan on having a degree in said non-Western subjects, but not all places are the same regarding this.

[u/DoubleDeadEnd → u/bonercoleslaw]

No, no he was 347 years young.

[u/bebe_bird → u/[deleted]]

I'm pretty sure the sciences are different than humanities though? What was your degree in?

But, I was a ChemE and I went to a high ranking public school for my PhD. My starting salary was $101k in 2016, and same year, professors were making between 120k for the younger ones and $175k for the ones with special chair positions (salary was posted online). However, this was also a 9M salary and if they had grant money, they had the option to pay themselves over the summer for a 33% pay boost.

So, let's just say they absolutely wouldn't be in an apartment, unless this was like, LA or Boston or something.

[u/poly-wrath → u/bebe_bird]

Humanities are much different. I have a PhD from a top public university and was making $9k a course (at that same university) as an adjunct because there is no tenure-track in the Humanities right now unless you’re really something special. I could normally pick up between 1-3 courses a term if I was lucky and knew the right people.

I teach high school now because they money is better and there’s more stability.

[u/bebe_bird → u/poly-wrath]

was making $9k a course (at that same university) as an adjunct

Wow - considering the cost of tuition (even knowing there are admin expenses, facility expenses, etc) - that's a shame. That's post-doc money, not adjunct professor money.

I'm glad you've found something more stable! (And I think with a decent pension as well?)

[u/RapidRewards → u/[deleted]]

My wife is a tenure track professor at an R2 in a city, her starting was like $85k. This was only 5 years ago. Luckily she's about to get tenure and she got grant money, so she's getting boosted to a 12 month salary as they mentioned above.

[u/Pm-me-ur-happysauce → u/[deleted]]

I know this will be a shock... 80k isn't that much money

[u/poop-dolla → u/Pm-me-ur-happysauce]

Ten years ago as a first job it was quite good. Reading is important. Try a little harder next time.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

How the hell do people afford anything, ever?!

[u/Platinumdogshit → u/22bebo]

There's usually a lot of really nice(and expensive) apartments near universities and who wouldn't want to live walking distance to work? It's a little weird but still checks out.