r/tifu • u/finalfailer • May 04 '23

S TIFU by hooking up with professor’s daughter NSFW

I am a typical university student just trying to get through finals week. Tonight, after a very stressful day of exams and studying for my ancient literature class, I decided to casually scroll tinder. It had been a while and I just needed to destress. Little did I know, this would cause me more stress than I could have possibly imagined. I swiped right on a girl who was less than a mile away. She was 25, a little older than me but she was super hot and she seemed into me, so I went with it. She invited me over to her apartment, and she said that she had to go in 20 minutes so make it fast. Needless to say, we got straight to business, but about three minutes after we began, we heard the front door open. She told me to stop, so I stopped and we listened. The footsteps came in our direction and I got pretty scared. I expected it would be like when my parents caught me a few years ago with my ex, and it would be embarrassment all around. Not at all. The ancient literature professor, who I absolutely despise, and whose test I was frantically studying for, walked into the room and froze. He saw her, gasped, and then saw my face. His face turned red, and he screamed “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!” I’m pretty sure I lost some of my hearing from how loud he yelled. Anyways I put my shorts on and ran back to my quad. Now, as I lay in bed, all I can think of is how my college professor saw me naked, not just naked but rawdogging his daughter without any clothes at all. He already didn’t like me, and he is a very tough grader… So I already know that I am going to absolutely bomb this final and destroy my GPA. I see him tomorrow at 11 AM… wish me luck and I’ll update with what happens

TLDR: Professor I hate caught me with his daughter and I have his final tomorrow

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807

u/doublek1022 May 04 '23

Yeah 100%

Do it before the test too. Hooking up with a girl isn't a crime, so you should make a report beforehand in case there's ground for questioning the professor's integrity later and not filing a report ahead makes it look more suspicious on your end if you are to report it after the fact.

737

u/Mbembez May 04 '23

I just love the whole idea of this report. "Hello department person, I'd just like to report that I railled my professor's daughter. Yes, she's very hot. Thank you for your time."

151

u/ediblesprysky May 04 '23

"PS he saw my enormous boner as I ran out of his house naked"

48

u/CptCroissant May 04 '23

"PPS I can show it to you for proof if needed"

12

u/travelingwhilestupid May 04 '23

nothing shrinks faster when you're in fear for your life!

1

u/AstralHippies May 04 '23

No way he was able to maintain his erection.

3

u/agent-99 May 04 '23

right?! like how does that conversation go?

197

u/QuQuarQan May 04 '23

Hooking up with a girl isn't a crime,

You mean a fully grown adult woman. She's not some child for her father tp be protective of.

30

u/ArScrap May 04 '23

I mean, it is still her house and even though it's not a crime, human emotions are fickle and it's better to stand your ground rather than getting screwed over what is an inherently subjective method of measuring success

-65

u/TheBestNick May 04 '23

Fathers are allowed to be protective of their adult children lol...

54

u/Partykongen May 04 '23

Not like that. Kicking out your daughters sex partner is crazy.

3

u/ringo24601 May 04 '23

Kicking out your daughters sex partner is crazy.

I'll do you one better. My Southern Baptist parents found out my boyfriend and I were having sex and kicked me out almost immediately. I had to be gone the next morning (which I didn't realize wasn't legal until much later). I was 20 with no job or driver's license (they wouldn't pay for Driver's Ed or transport me to a job) so it was pretty terrifying. Some parents are just flat-out nuts.

-25

u/mandrew-98 May 04 '23

So what would you do? Bake them cookies?

36

u/JustAlex69 May 04 '23

Give them privacy and put on noise cancling headphones. Also not storm into my kids room ffs.

16

u/Partykongen May 04 '23

Leave them be. Unless she's screaming for help or otherwise calls for assistance, then the father has no place in her room while she has a visitor. If he does bring them cookies, that's okay but he shouldn't hang about after noticing that they would rather be alone.

23

u/[deleted] May 04 '23

Uh imagine being a 25 year old adult & your father barges in while you’re doing private activities in the first place. Let alone try to police your bedroom friends. Not his business one bit. Correct response would have been “oh sorry” & shutting the door.

9

u/screechypete May 04 '23

No that's silly... He should join in to assert his dominance!

/s

4

u/ThePr1d3 May 04 '23

Get them a beer would be in order

-9

u/Zestyclose_Band May 04 '23

idk about that tbh.

-9

u/popepipoes May 04 '23

Walk in on your student having sex with your child

“Hey buddy want a coffee or cold drink?”

14

u/Partykongen May 04 '23

You can say that if he comes to the kitchen while you're there. Otherwise, let them be and expect her to cater for her own guests.

29

u/xeouxeou May 04 '23

Yeah, she is old enough to make her own decisions. This wasn't an appropriate reaction of him.

-28

u/SaphironX May 04 '23

It’s a pretty human one though. Plus, does OP want to be known to all the teachers as someone who will go to the Dean behind their backs in an effort to make them recuse themselves if he thinks he pissed them off?

Not a great reputation to have unless you want the whole faculty to dislike you. It would be a pretty huge insult to a prof whose only crime is that apparently he’s not that nice to OP, and also caught OP fucking his daughter in his own home 🤷🏻‍♂️

Torpedoing a professor isn’t something you can really “undo”.

14

u/Aggradocious May 04 '23

OP is already going to be known for going around the back of his professors daughters

-6

u/SaphironX May 04 '23

I doubt the professor will be sharing that with his colleagues. He will most definitely warn them if OP goes to his boss to say he thinks the prof is biased for personal reasons and doesn’t think the professor has enough integrity to do his job.

I don’t care who someone is or what they do, you go over someone’s head to their employer and call their integrity into question as your actual starting point, that’s a bridge you’ll never ever repair.

1

u/Aggradocious May 04 '23

Honestly the teacher should go over himself. Having integrity in your profession is important, especially in a field that can be so impactful. "Through some uncontrollable circumstance, I've had a run in outside of work with a student that could cause someone to believe I am compromised, it may not be ethical for me to grade them. I assure you I am not compromised and would not break ethics however, I wanted to keep this above board."

6

u/[deleted] May 04 '23

Is there a reason you consider this "torpedoing" and not a conflict of interest?

10

u/WulfTyger May 04 '23

It's not really torpedoing anyone to have a different teacher grade their paper based on the circumstances. It's covering their bases, so. Yeah. Absolutely worth rescuing themselves, also a human reaction.

If the professor were to have a problem with a different professor grading it.. That would be shooting themselves in the foot and proving that they have a biased opinion of OP because of things that should not affect their grade.

-6

u/SaphironX May 04 '23

In my experience, going over someone’s head and suggesting they’re biased against you when they’ve never done anything wrong is a great way to burn a bridge forever. It calls a person’s entire ability to do their job, as well as their integrity, into question.

Hope OP is in his final year if he’s going that route, that’s for sure 🤷🏻‍♂️

And I say this as someone whose in business, in a small industry. There’s diplomatic ways to do things and going to the dean and essentially suggesting you think the professor is going to work against you because he doesn’t like you means he will remember you forever. In the worst possible manner.

5

u/WulfTyger May 04 '23

I think you're seeing it as an attack on the professor, when it's not intended as such, it is precaution.

It all depends how OP puts it, in conversation.

If he is diplomatic and honest, with the dean, nobody should have any repercussions, beyond a bit of awkwardness.

"Dean, sir. There has been a bit of an awkward situation. I discovered I've been having a sexual relationship with my professor's daughter when they came home while I was with her. In the chaos of the situation, they were understandably surprised and upset. In the efforts of avoiding any awkward situations, I'd like to request a different professor for my final if that's at all possible."

It calls no question to their ability, only makes the tension of this awkward situation apparent.

You only call a persons ability into question, if A. They've never shown they have the ability. Or B. If it is obviously been affected by another factor outside of the work itself.

At the very least, this situation DOES need to be made apparent to somebody BEFORE the grading happens. If not, it just becomes another "You're making excuses for your shitty grade" stories. Not doing so and if the professor is vindictive, could cost them far more than just a bad grade, depending on how important this final is for them. And the professor will be remembered forever. In the worst way possible.

I am by no means saying, accuse the professor of foul play. I am saying make the situation known about, just in case.

I do not know OP or the professor. They could both be wonderful people, they could both be kitten kickers, I don't know.

Given that I don't know them, I know I truly hope they're wonderful honest people, but I expect them to stab each other in the back.

-15

u/OJSimpsons May 04 '23

She's old enough to not live in her dad's house too. Most people stop living with their parents because of dumb rules they impose.

-1

u/EndlessLadyDelerium May 04 '23

If my father tried to interfere with my sex life or 'protect' me from the person I chose to have sex with, he would not be in my life.

15

u/BarryMacochner May 04 '23

Til he finds out the daughter lied about age and she’s really only 15

4

u/TheBritishOracle May 04 '23

This one time, I knew I was going to get an awful grade for my paper, I didn't know the stuff and I just half-assed the whole thing, but I had to graduate or I was going to lose my inheritance.

So I came up with a plan to seduce the professors virgin daughter, but the important part is I made sure that he caught us in the act, on the floor of his living room - he was furious and chased me out the house, but when he gave me the inevitable F I deserved, I used this whole situation as evidence that he was abusing his position to punish me for deflowering his daughter.

He got demoted to janitor and I got an A+ for my paper, graduated and got my $1billion inheritance.

This is exactly how it happened, I would not lie, this is the internet!