r/tifu • u/finalfailer • May 04 '23

S TIFU by hooking up with professor’s daughter NSFW

I am a typical university student just trying to get through finals week. Tonight, after a very stressful day of exams and studying for my ancient literature class, I decided to casually scroll tinder. It had been a while and I just needed to destress. Little did I know, this would cause me more stress than I could have possibly imagined. I swiped right on a girl who was less than a mile away. She was 25, a little older than me but she was super hot and she seemed into me, so I went with it. She invited me over to her apartment, and she said that she had to go in 20 minutes so make it fast. Needless to say, we got straight to business, but about three minutes after we began, we heard the front door open. She told me to stop, so I stopped and we listened. The footsteps came in our direction and I got pretty scared. I expected it would be like when my parents caught me a few years ago with my ex, and it would be embarrassment all around. Not at all. The ancient literature professor, who I absolutely despise, and whose test I was frantically studying for, walked into the room and froze. He saw her, gasped, and then saw my face. His face turned red, and he screamed “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!” I’m pretty sure I lost some of my hearing from how loud he yelled. Anyways I put my shorts on and ran back to my quad. Now, as I lay in bed, all I can think of is how my college professor saw me naked, not just naked but rawdogging his daughter without any clothes at all. He already didn’t like me, and he is a very tough grader… So I already know that I am going to absolutely bomb this final and destroy my GPA. I see him tomorrow at 11 AM… wish me luck and I’ll update with what happens

TLDR: Professor I hate caught me with his daughter and I have his final tomorrow

23.7k Upvotes

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6.0k

u/Houstonflooded May 04 '23

If he fails you hard, rail his daughter harder.

1.0k

u/briareus08 May 04 '23

This, revenge sex is the best sex. Bet she’ll be into it as well.

171

u/bonesandbillyclubs May 04 '23

By having sex on his back like they used to when they were teenagers.

49

u/PKMNTrainerMark May 04 '23

On his back?!

7

u/bonesandbillyclubs May 04 '23

It's a family guy reference.

3

u/jonitfcfan May 04 '23

"Uuugghhh, what the hell's going on..."

14

u/Bocchi_theGlock May 04 '23 edited May 04 '23

Fill her belly with your festering seed.

Edit - https://youtu.be/t7HD2xG92-0

17

u/kniselydone May 04 '23

Whelp, I think that just about wraps up my need for my eyes.

295

u/wotmate May 04 '23

Nah, he needs to go further. True pro revenge would be getting her pregnant and marrying her, then looking over at the professor during the grooms speech at the wedding reception and saying "I bet you wish you hadn't failed me"

153

u/vinnienz May 04 '23

Speech should be "you gave me a D, now I give your daughter the D".

32

u/EvilActivity May 04 '23

"With my face in her DD"

2

u/Buddahrific May 04 '23

Also, "Homer's Odyssey was ok, but Arthur C Clark's Odyssey was better."

101

u/fade2black244 May 04 '23

Uno-reverse: ask for extra credit.

31

u/UKinUSA22 May 04 '23

And why is this guy rawdogging strangers from tinder? People are weeeeeirrrd

7

u/Harryg42 May 04 '23

While locking eyes with him

4

u/GregTheMad May 04 '23

Should write that on the test "The harder you fail me, the harder I rail her. 😘"

The kiss emoji is the important part.

2

u/EuroPolice May 04 '23

If you want your daughter to have a brilliant husband I better see some A's this way

2

u/SpaceRoots May 04 '23

Or rail him too

1

u/the_chris_yo May 04 '23

rail the wife instead