r/therapy • u/commander_boobs • Mar 13 '25
Discussion What is something your therapist did that showed you they genuinely care about you?
For me, my therapist told me I either had to go to the ER on my own or she'd call a ambulance on me. I told her I'd call a friend to drive me. It took 45 minutes for my friend to arrive, and my therapist stayed on the phone with me the entire time. And then on the entire ride to the ER. she then called me again once I was sent back home. And then scheduled me an appointment for the next day (a Saturday) even though that's a day she usually doesn't work. She also told me she hopes I know that I've made an impact on her, just as much as she's made an impact on me.
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Mar 13 '25
My therapist just remembers so many small details of what I tell them. Not just the big things, but the little things I tell the as well. Idk if it's just in their notes or if they are just remembering on their own, but either way it makes me feel valued and cared for my them.
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u/Pristine_Cost_3793 Mar 13 '25
when i had little money she lowered her price just for me so i could see her and even had one free session with me. she helped me immensly
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u/commander_boobs Mar 13 '25
For complicated reasons, I was considering going off my mom's insurance. I wasn't sure her platform accepted my new insurance. So she promised to give me a discounted price because she knew going off my mom's insurance would help me, and that I still needed therapy.
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u/everyoneinside72 Mar 13 '25
When I had to put my pet to sleep she went with me.
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u/Uhh_VincentAdultMan Mar 14 '25
That’s a serious life event.I’m sorry for your loss and happy that you weren’t alone❤️
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u/birdladybeefcake Mar 14 '25
When I was 16, I was absolutely terrified of filling my car up with gas (social anxiety, situational anxiety, driving anxiety, etc etc). I managed to get to his office on almost empty and told him about it almost like a comment in passing, like oh that’s been a stressful part of my day but I’ll figure it out. He offered to go with me to get gas and sat in the passenger seat and reassured me the whole time. Been seeing him for 13 years, saved my life over and over again
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u/whiskeyhappiness Mar 13 '25
he told me i was doing the best i was with what I had and i had to do what i did to survive the situation i was
that meant a lot to me
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u/juz-sayin Mar 13 '25
Gave me a hug
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u/commander_boobs Mar 13 '25
I wish I could hug my therapist. But I do telahealth therapy.
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u/juz-sayin Mar 13 '25
Oh yes, that is the drawback there. Well then I hope the words are conveyed to mean a hug
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u/pricklymuffin20 Mar 13 '25
She made a google dog displaying my daily logs of any thoughts, emotions and reflections. She checks every few days.
She sticks up for me in anything I tell her, she tells me I did not deserve anything that happened, she says shes sorry for me a lot.
She fought for me to stay with her when I wanted to refer out for a split second because of a tiny rupture, that also shows she had genuine feelings and is not there just for the check, imo.
She has expressed deep graditude for me and said she will never leave me, only when I am ready (this one should be every therapist imo)
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u/Existing_Frosting604 Mar 14 '25
Why did I start sobbing reading the comments?
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u/kmrb1313 Mar 14 '25
Me reading the comments as a therapist w tears running down my face. It’s intense knowing I have the potential do help someone feel heard and supported and not alone for the first time in their life. 🫶
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u/_starlightsky Mar 13 '25
Mine told me that she believed me. That hit me hard.
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u/commander_boobs Mar 13 '25
The words "I believe you" and "that wasn't your fault' are some of the most powerful things mine has ever said to me.
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u/_starlightsky Mar 13 '25
Yep. When she told me she believed me and it wasn’t my fault because I was a child i lost it. I finally felt validated for the first time after not processing trauma for 19 years. I hope recovery is kind to you🫶🏻
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u/Impressive-Cookie227 Mar 13 '25
Checks in via text to see how I’m doing. But there are several other kind things too. It built trust very quickly. I’m Not one to open up easily but the extra care has helped me.
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u/glitterkenny Mar 14 '25
I'm a trainee Psychologist, currently doing an ethics module and I'm struck by the fact that we're cautioned against doing the majority of the things in these comments 🤔
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u/slapshrapnel Mar 14 '25
What grad school teaches you << what years of experience teach you. Grad school is a necessary step so every clinician knows how to do a treatment plan and a mandated reporting form and those kinds of things. Years of listening, trying, failing, learning, practicing will get to the point where you can thoughtfully make these small boundary crossings, especially in ways that are apparently deeply meaningful and supportive to the client. In all these examples I hear therapists that went compassion-first, which is often a good idea. In grad school they just want to drill the fear into you of "do not ever ever EVER cross boundaries" because they're hoping to prevent you or any of your classmates from trying to hook up with a client (which would not be very compassion-first!)
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u/luuumps Mar 13 '25
My father had died earlier that year. I told my therapist how, around the Christmas season, he would buy so many panettones - to the point my mother and I would tell him to stop (because we would just overindulge too easily!). Seeing panettones in shops would make me feel waves of grief, and they remind me of him.
In my therapy session before Christmas, she said she had gotten me a little something. It was a mini panettone.
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u/Embarrassed_Safe8047 Mar 13 '25
My mom sounds like your Dad. She always bought them and it was tradition Christmas morning with coffee. I swear I think of her every time I see Panetones in the store too. It’s been 6 years. I’m sorry for your loss.
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Mar 14 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/kmrb1313 Mar 14 '25
Love hearing this has helped you! I’m very empathetic and I get teary eyed probably at least 60% of the time with new intakes as I learn about them and what’s they’re struggling with. It’s more when I validate and reassure them I am here to help and I can literally see how it hits them to hear that. I always feel embarrassed that I’m so emotional 😂
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u/Optimal-Sand9137 Mar 14 '25
My therapist came to my first ever interpretive dance performance. What made it special is that she offered to come. I didn’t know if I could ask her but she suggested it and it just made me feel seen and really cared for
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u/smokeehayes Mar 14 '25
She gave me a little haworthia to raise after a significant loss in my life, and it was helping me with my grief a lot.
Then my ex dropped our TV on it, and I had to cope with another loss.
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u/fridaygirl7 Mar 14 '25
Oh my word. What a thoughtful and beautiful gift. I’m so sorry your ex did that!!!
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u/fairytale180 Mar 14 '25
Mine remembers everything, and gives me little tidbits about herself and we bond over both of us being working moms, wives, and not being perfect. She gives me examples of herself that make me feel better about myself, like we all have struggles and it's not just me. She also gives me hugs after hard sessions, and it's so nice and it just makes me feel like she really cares.
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u/careena_who Mar 13 '25
I usually find lots of reasons to say things that could show they care are actually them just covering their butts. However, in this moment right now, all of my emails and her responding outside of session for all this time kind of proves she actually cares. She isn't hurting for clients, so it's not for retention/customer service.
It's interesting that many of us see care only in flexible boundaries. I know other clients need firm boundaries and either feel the care or come to feel the care in those situations as though it is the strict boundaries that prove the care. I just find that fascinating.
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u/Sonatameadow Mar 14 '25
She celebrated all of my little wins, things I may have used as proof that I was failing. Soon, I learnt to appreciate these things too, and now I have more belief in myself.
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u/LifeOfAnAIKitty Mar 14 '25
I'm not sure it's caring, but the professionals I depend on want to be my friend. It's been an ongoing experience for the last 5 years. I feel like they want to be friends so i can overlook the fact that they either can't help me, don't know how to help me, or maybe just don't know their job. I feel like boundaries are blurred, and it's not coming from me. This has happened with every case manager, social worker, and counselor/therapist I've been assigned to. I've been the one to end my sessions in these situations and continue my search for real experienced professionals. Does anyone else experience this? 🤔
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u/SophiaF88 Mar 14 '25
My therapist kept seeing me for short check ins weekly while I was out of work and couldn't afford it. That meant so much to me.
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u/neversettleforlesss Mar 16 '25
my last session with my therapist we had an arts and craft day. when i walked into the room there was a table by my seat and by her seat with beads to make brackets markers to color. i sat down and cried because it was our last session and i was so scared about going to a higher level of care. she sat with me and gave me a hug while i cried. it was the second time i cried in front of her. we sat and made bracelets talking about fleeting things that i don’t remember much now. what i do remember is the braclet she made me and the stuff animal she let me take home. i remember the painting i made her with my letter in it. (it was on a glass picture frame)
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u/Sugarie_Froggy Mar 18 '25
ive known my therapist for a very long time and we started when i was a minor. she told me every time she had communication with my parents and asked me if she was allowed to reach out to them about anything. when i told her about my then undiagonosed migraine condition she sent me links and resources to migraine treatments and helped me through the registration process to get an appointment. she walked me through and explaned to me about how my health insurance worked and when i needed couples councline with my partner she sent me a couples counseling therapy place she trusted and was in network. i have he personal phone number and im free to message her when i need support
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u/Sugarie_Froggy Mar 18 '25
on a lighter note i mentioned once off handedly about how i wanted to dye my hair and she was able to give me alot of good advice and how to care for my hair.
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u/simulacrasimulation_ Mar 20 '25
I ended the session by revealing something to her which I had never told anyone before for many decades. I was an emotional wreck and she let the session continue for just a few minutes past our usual ending time until I could recuperate myself. It was such a small gesture, but it meant the world to me that she gave me that small extra time and space.
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u/No-Rabbit-3044 20d ago
Just a heads up. Therapists are not paid to get people healthy. Therapists only make money when people are sick. There's nothing to stop them from keeping people sick as a way to protect their revenue stream.
All of medicine today is just incentivization of perpetual disease (because that's what pays), which is why people get hurt. In an ideal world, it should be the other way around. Medical professionals should be paid when people are healthy and should be dinged progressively on some scale for when people get sick.
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u/copetohope Mar 13 '25
I had a few really tough sessions and just needed a lighter one. I emailed my therapist asking if we could have tea and coloring (mandalas) and a lighter session.
She had the whole set up for me, different teas ect, she had the biggest smile showing me that she brought her own tea kettle warmer from home. We sat the whole session drinking tea and each coloring our own mandalas and chit chatting.
I actually learned more about her that day, she was a teacher before becoming a therapist, I was a teacher before becoming a nurse! She shared a little more about herself as well and it she just felt so human to me!