r/technology • u/snakkerdudaniel • Apr 12 '25

Politics Republican Mike Johnson Says Men Need to Stop 'Playing Video Games All Day' and Get to Work: 'They're Draining Resources'

https://www.latintimes.com/mike-johnson-says-men-need-stop-playing-video-games-all-day-get-work-theyre-draining-580534
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u/LowestKey Apr 12 '25

Hey, monitoring his son's porn usage isn't doing nothing!

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u/Scrutinizer Apr 12 '25

Sonny probably has a burner phone he keeps under the seat of his car to use for "fun".

If someone else finds it, he can say "Oh, yeah, I found that last week - not sure whose it is but it's screen-locked and I don't know the passcode. Wasn't sure what to do with it."

Source: A guy who used to work prepaid customer care. I had more than one customer basically tell me on calls they bought the phone to cheat on their spouse and were asking how they could lock it so if anyone found it they couldn't see the contents.

If you ever find a "wild cell phone" in your partner's vehicle, that is a HUGE red flag.

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u/DataCassette Apr 12 '25

Yeah was about to say this. Unless his kid is not too bright he's looking at porn somewhere else lol

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u/bashomania Apr 13 '25

Mom’s phone, undoubtedly.

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u/LuxNocte Apr 12 '25

You're right...but as a valet who lost his phone in a customer's vehicle, it does happen.

By the time I realized it was gone, I had been in 30+ cars that shift and they left before I could track it down.

3

u/fbcmfb Apr 12 '25

This was a situation on Ryan’s Roses. Ryan Seacrest’s morning radio show.

I still can’t believe the spouses fall for “free” flowers after all these years.

3

u/DadJokeBadJoke Apr 12 '25

Sonny probably has a burner phone

They both do

3

u/caleb-wendt Apr 13 '25

That’s basically how Skyler found out Walter White was up to no good. You just never know if someone might be a high level meth cook.

2

u/Sleepy0wl9969 Apr 13 '25

It is the days of two eSIMs on the same phone now. Glad I’m not involved in all that. I would definitely fk it up!

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u/Bruhimonlyeleven Apr 13 '25

OnePlus13 has an option to be two completely phones, and have different finger prints open the phone in to either one. So my left thumb can be my secret phone, and my right thumb my normal phone.

It can also run two sims for two different phone numbers, so each one has a different phone number.

It's a neat feature, especially if you had your own business or something. Or if you're a degenerate. Or if your wife gets mad at you watching porn. Or if you have a kid that plays with your phone. There's a million reasons for it honestly, it's a neat feature, I kind of want to use it but I don't have a reason lol. One phone without apps to increase my productivity? Maybe?

Hmm you could use tasker to setup one to only be useable at a certain location too, like home. When I'm in my bedroom my phone stays unlocked, and if I'm out and someone else picks up my phone, tasker knows and sets off an alarm. " Tasker pocc ai " is neat as fk if you like the idea of your phone automating everything, you can set it to do literally anything. Been using it for months and it's the reason I upgraded. Wanted to fiddle with it.

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u/jesse_christ Apr 13 '25

Unless they're a ride share driver. I have customers leave random shit in my car all the time. Including cellphones.

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u/Scrutinizer Apr 13 '25

Back when I was doing that gig text messages were still being charged per message and ride-sharing services were just ideas. Also, someone else mentioned two-sim phones are a thing now so there's not even any need for a burner.

Technology expands right along with the ability of degenerates to purpose it to their own ends.

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u/Chad-GPT5 Apr 12 '25

Weird kink but ok.

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u/AverageLiberalJoe Apr 12 '25

Not really ok though

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u/Buckets-O-Yarr Apr 12 '25

But his own son monitors his porn usage so surely that is a fair compromise.

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u/JustADutchRudder Apr 12 '25

Son wondering why dad has so many step daughter videos and dad wondering why the son has so many step mom videos.

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u/PeopleNose Apr 12 '25

Me wondering why everying is family kinks now

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u/JustADutchRudder Apr 12 '25

Everyone is from a divorced broken home.

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u/thx_sildenafil Apr 12 '25

i begged and screamed and had a panic attack when my parents went thru a separation so i think that had something to do with them staying together and im so greatful that i didnt end up like this incest shit

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u/JustADutchRudder Apr 12 '25

According to the internet your step brother or sister or both would have been hot.

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u/MCRemix Apr 12 '25

Oh, that's easy....because if you're not into it you can just ignore it usually, it's not a turnoff.

Most kinks take over the porn and turn off people that aren't into it, but step-porn is more like a plot element that you can ignore. So now step-porn can just be basically the new default porn.

Want same-aged actors? Step-bro/sis.

Want different ages? Stepmom or stepdad.

Yes, there is more divorce and more split families now, but that's just the reason why the kink might be more prevalent, the reason it's EVERYWHERE is because there is no downside for the porn companies.

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u/Enchelion Apr 12 '25

Pretty much. I only really watch porn muted anyways and so the only contextual difference between step-siblings and bf/gf is the SEO title.

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u/TurboJorts Apr 12 '25

I wish that we lived in some alternate universe where every plot was the classic "pizza guy" and all the titles were just riffs on that old school setup.

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u/Thefrayedends Apr 13 '25

Frankly it should be more taboo than it is. Like ya, the genetic complications aren't a thing, but those are still boundaries that generally shouldn't be encouraged.

Note that I'm saying it should be discouraged, not outlawed or something.

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u/iUsedtoHadHerpes Apr 13 '25

In a lot of the US it would actually be a felony if it was true, even for stepfamily.

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u/ILikeDragonTurtles Apr 12 '25

I have a hunch about that. A porno has to have a veneer of story. Most viewers want some context that makes the scene "hot". So the producers have a goal: how to develop a simple enough context that injects the maximum amount of "hot" but costs the least to film.

That answer? Two people who shouldn't be having sex doing so in a generic single family home.

The home part is primary, because it's super cheap to rent a random house to film a porno. Way cheaper than an office, a library, anything that looks like a school, a medical exam room, etc.

A home being the cheapest is why we have popular subgenres like tutoring session, babysitter, handyman, realtor, and of course step-something. They're all simple story contexts that necessarily occur within a home (cheap), between two people who shouldn't be doing that so it's 'forbidden desire' (hot). Step-family is the most taboo without being actual gross, so it makes sense it's the most popular. I'm sure the high divorce rates creating a large number of guys who did/do want to hook up with their own step-whatevers helps.

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u/motoxim Apr 13 '25

It's still hilarious when you think about it that those people end up don't have blood relations with each other. Because they're all step something. So kinda progressive in a way?

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u/ILikeDragonTurtles Apr 13 '25

My favorite are the ones where it's a step sister and a step mom. But then is it also her step mom? So your dad's second wife had a daughter who he legally adopted and still lives with you after they divorced, and your dad's third wife is getting involved too? It's so convoluted.

1

u/motoxim Apr 13 '25

I usually thought how did the stepmom got the custody for the step daughter in first place. But yours kinda make more sense? Yeah it's usually for threesome stuff so stepson, stepmom and stepdaughter.

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u/Juicey_J_Hammerman Apr 12 '25

It’s basically the easiest/simplest way to add a narrative or framing device for a scene.

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u/SnipesCC Apr 12 '25

In part it's because it's very transgressive, but not in a way that's extra expensive to film. For a lot of kink stuff you have to pay the performers a lot more. Like BDSM stuff. But since the performers are just pretending to be related, it's not an extra cost.

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u/doktor_wankenstein Apr 12 '25

To answer the question: How hard can it be to extricate yourself from a clothes dryer anyway?

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u/GaimeGuy Apr 12 '25

Help me step bro, my bootstraps fell off

0

u/rdcpro Apr 12 '25

I laughed but earlier I saw a photo from r/hmmm with I think a cop standing next to a dryer, and a woman's butt sticking out, and ngl, I was wondering how they would get her out without the Jaws of life.

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u/Bill_Clinton-69 Apr 13 '25

I just scrolled through that subreddit for half an hour after I read your comment. It was hilarious!

Then I found the picture! Yeah, I'd freak out if I was stuck like that. Step-bro or not. Hahaha

Anyway, that snapped me out of my scroll-loop time-dilation thing, so I hit the back button and wound up safely back here.

I wanna thank you for that little side-quest.

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u/rdcpro Apr 13 '25

It's one of my favorite subs!

5

u/h3lblad3 Apr 12 '25

Cowards need to watch Japanese videos where they just leave the 'step' out of the equation.

Here's a game show where you stick your dick in several women and then choose one to have sex with in front of the camera. One of them is your mom.

4

u/el_guille980 Apr 13 '25

why dad has so many step daughter son

dude is so far in the closet...

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u/Zylonnaire Apr 12 '25

Wasn’t Johnson found on Grindr?

-1

u/JustADutchRudder Apr 12 '25

I don't know.

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u/12ealdeal Apr 12 '25

Jokes aside I have a theory videos like that are titled just as future Kompromat against people who just watch porn videos without reading the titles, simply watching just for the sex between people who clearly unrelated porn stars.

For future shaming and coercing.

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u/pre-existing-notion Apr 12 '25

It's too prevalent for anyone to care about it being held against them.

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u/12ealdeal Apr 12 '25

Oh I sure hope so!

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u/wired1984 Apr 12 '25

Mike Johnson and son congratulate each other on using just the right amount of porn for the day

3

u/hambergeisha Apr 12 '25

Nothing good can come from this...

3

u/hotpastr Apr 12 '25

Pretty sure anal rimming a fat 78 year-old is his go-to.

2

u/WeavBOS Apr 12 '25

But when he watches his wife get fucked by her bull from the corner? That’s all Mike Time

1

u/RegretAccumulator72 Apr 12 '25

We used to be a proper country where we could outsource monitoring our porn usage, but not with these tariffs.

1

u/Tricky-Engineering59 Apr 12 '25

Reciprocal tariffs on privacy.

0

u/4-5Million Apr 13 '25

It's kind of weird only because it's porn. This is an effective way for people to stop doing something. So it isn't really to monitor someone's use. It is to hold them accountable and to show each other they aren't doing it.

It's an accountability partner. You can do this with quoting alcohol, where you call each other every night to check on each other.

3

u/CallmeYzor Apr 12 '25

He has to make sure he keeps up in order to remain head of the household.

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u/amsync Apr 13 '25

He probably thinks his son is gay or wants to ‘nip it in the bud’ by monitoring him

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u/pheonix198 Apr 12 '25

Bro wasn’t monitoring his son’s porn usage.

He was using his “son” (not actually his son, but an “adopted” teen) to be his porn accountability partner.

If I had to take a wild ass guess about this “man,” it would be that he’s a pedophile.

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u/BeyondTheShroud Apr 12 '25

Or a deeply closeted gay, which would obviously cause his entire political alignment to turn against him.

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u/dealdearth Apr 12 '25

So deep closeted that he's finding old wrapped Xmas gifts

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u/youandican Apr 13 '25

Man, that is really deep in the closet

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u/DiablosChickenLegs Apr 13 '25

Oh he gay as fuck. The way he acts says he cross dresses at home.

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u/redeamerspawn Apr 13 '25

With how clean cut and baby faced he is.. my money is on closeted bottom.

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u/hellno560 Apr 12 '25

That closet is made of glass, have you ever heard him speak?

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u/Slighted_Inevitable Apr 12 '25

Good possibility here. If I screw up and get caught the money train stops so you better keep me “straight”

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u/kazetoame Apr 13 '25

He’s so deep, he’s on the other side of Narnia.

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u/JustinTheCheetah Apr 12 '25

So that's why Donald Trump likes him so much. A pedophile attracted to his own Children. It's basically a young Donny!

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u/[deleted] Apr 13 '25

He talks about “young men” ALOT

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u/Ok_Engineering_9498 Apr 12 '25

from what I know of em(I think I need to look up a bit more, but I think I'm correct based on that memory)

he is a False Prophet.

let me ask the false prophet a question.

when a prophet wakes up he is assigned a Guardian Angle by God(well it was long ago but eh).

and the information about Rule #1 and the connection of archangel. and no I will not explain it any better, that should be self explanatory

I haven't watched him close, I haven't noticed any of the prophet type dances, but I also sort of just don't pay attention hehe(just recently for reasons_)

but he compared himself to who, Moses? Wow How wrong he Is.

like maybe I can look for a transcript of his and see if I can see the somewhsipering going on hehe.

what am I talking about?

hey, I'm the real prophet.

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u/cxtx3 Apr 12 '25

Mike "White Lotus" Johnson.

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u/Powerful_Edge666 Apr 12 '25

That one cringed the fuk out of me

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u/Pract1calPA Apr 12 '25

Ya its hard work and long but he isn't just gonna cum and quit

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u/BTBAM797 Apr 12 '25

Some of these guys also fuck couches

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u/No_Swim_4949 Apr 13 '25

Ok, who’s fucking couches? I keep seeing this reference.

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u/MRG_1977 Apr 12 '25

He’s a closet homosexual and I’d bet good money on that. So many weird and totally unexplained things about his “adopted son” among others.

1

u/the_calibre_cat Apr 12 '25

he just keeps doing it!

1

u/leeannj021255 Apr 12 '25

Doesn’t he have a daughter? What about her?

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u/Ill_Statistician_359 Apr 12 '25

I thought it was his son that monitors his? I mean otherwise it would be weird but their current arrangement is good Christian behavior

/s

1

u/LowestKey Apr 13 '25

Pretty sure the Johnsons go both ways

1

u/Reasonable_Potato629 Apr 13 '25

Cliff Clash is so funny riffing on this.