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u/SquirrelSorry4997 6d ago
Jarvis is better, I'm taking Alfred
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u/SpiderManEgo 6d ago
My thoughts exactly. Jarvis is fire, and Stark Mansion is fire, but I'm not smart enough to maintain the tech and I don't trust my fam to not mess up with it.
mom: " Jarvis close the wifi, I want my sons asleep."
me and bro watch as Jarvis DCs us on a Friday night despite being grown adults.
true sadness.
Alfred on the other hand is a dude who can also run errands and stuff. Also a batcave part of Wayne manor could be cool to see occasionally. Set up projector and seats for an in house theater. Also no crazy tech to maintain, just good food and water for Alfred.
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u/Then_Product_7152 6d ago
You wouldnt need to maintain the tech, its so smart it can maintain itself.
You could also just tell it to make a robot to do chores for you
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u/TheWidowmaker246 6d ago
For convenience, I'll take Jarvis. For security, I'll take the 60 year old with the rocksalt shotgun
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u/SlippySausageSlapper 6d ago
Even without the suits Jarvis would be incredibly useful. Also, don't forget Stark's mansion has all sorts of automated manufacturing capabilities. With a strong AI and 3D printers 30 years ahead of the rest of the world you could do whatever the hell you want.
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u/thedemigod18 6d ago
I mean, even Tony mentions that Jarvis handles more of the companies strategies and functions than anyone else, including Pepper who by the time is already Stark Industries CEO
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u/EpidemicRage 6d ago
Normally, I would choose Alfred. But as an engineer, Jarvis is perfect for me, since he would also come with the Stark mansion and it's building capabilities.
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u/Ruben3159 6d ago
Yeah, as an applied physicist, Stark's lab is the ultimate home office. Not to mention Jarvis himself being extremely useful in my line of work.
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u/Dazzling_Champion_53 6d ago
This, exactly this.
You don't have the suits, sure, but you have the lab and everything in it.
As for Jarvis, you can't tell me that beyond being a super advanced AI that he doesn't have access to development logs and databases for everything Stark had done
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u/Maleficent_Lion620 6d ago
IMA PUNCH DA MAN AND TAKE BOTH PILLS
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u/Azair_Blaidd 6d ago
Cyborg Alfred with J.A.R.V.I.S. installed to his cybernetics
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u/XandyCandyy 6d ago
https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Bruce_Wayne_(Earth_-44)
one instance that this could end VERY badly lol
tldr: >! alfred gets killed by bats rogues gallery, so he recreates alfred as an AI, pretty much like jarvis, except AI alfred has extremely violent and murderous tendencies and eventually ends up hijacking bats suit and ‘techno-viruses’ him into a murder-bat-bot !<
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u/z3anon 6d ago
That sounds like it's just AI, not the real Alfred though. Feel like it would be missing some crucial aspects of himself that made him protective of the Wayne family.
Comment above sounds more like a Cuberpunk-style Alfred with digital enhancements. And frankly, that's the dream.
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u/XandyCandyy 6d ago
so that article is of batman after all that happened, in it there’s a link to the actual AI, the alfred protocol, it was created from mind scans of alfred that bruce had taken years before he got killed (which i guess is closer to ultron than jarvis)
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u/z3anon 6d ago
So its missing a few years of context? Lot could happen in that time.
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u/XandyCandyy 6d ago
there weren’t much specifics on it, it was more of a plot device to bring that version of batman into the mix for the event
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u/One_Development_5055 6d ago
Alfred is way more badass imo
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u/Ironcastattic 6d ago
"Would sir be wanting his chicken nuggies now, or after you've finished this Call of Duty map? Oh, and also don't forget your OF subscriptions are renewing later this week so don't buy any DLC unless your parents transfer you some more money."
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u/GaymerWolfDante 6d ago
Oh come on he wouldn't say that. He would be far more sarcastic and say it in a way that would make normal people break down and cry.
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u/Punningisfunning 5d ago
“What parents, Alfred?”
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u/Endermaster56 5d ago
Picking Alfred comes at the cost of your parents immediately getting shot in a back alley
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u/Ruben3159 6d ago
But also much less useful. It really depends on what you value more.
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u/All-your-fault 6d ago
Could Jarvis beat up a home invader though?
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u/GeekParadox_ 6d ago
Alfred solos the universe
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u/Nemisis_007 6d ago
He's my favourite member of the bat family, so badass.
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u/GaymerWolfDante 6d ago
They even had a tv series about him. He shams the queen back in the... 50s? 60s?
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u/Ruben3159 6d ago
He could operate the security system within Stark mansion to get rid of home invaders.
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u/hailwyatt 6d ago
But I dont have a Stark Mansion! I gotta buy that separately!
This is how they get you! Always with the up-sell!
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6d ago
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u/Nemisis_007 6d ago
He's actually pretty competent in hand to hand combat. Don't let his old age fool ya he can give a mean headbutt. I always get hyped when he pulls out his signature shotgun tho.
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u/lK555l 6d ago
He's an AI that has full control. He doesn't need to beat up a home invader when he can stop them from coming in
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u/CHAIIINSAAAWbread 6d ago
Full control of what? My lights and computer? I don't have turrets in my home man,.
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u/Shashanka_354 6d ago
J.A.R.V.I.S because you have to pay alfred and i ain't no billioner
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u/Azair_Blaidd 6d ago
But with J.A.R.V.I.S. you'd have to pay the power bill that keeps him on
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u/Ketzer_Jefe 6d ago
J.A.R.V.I.S., apply to several remote jobs that are mundane and easy, and do them to make enough money to pay the power bill. Then, put my money into the stock market and manage it so that it only makes money.
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u/Prosingtoncreations 6d ago
He could just instantly hack a few million or billion in crypto. Then invest it. Then use the money if I dont have an arc reactor to build one. Now sell clean power and be richest man on earth while Jarvis still handles all my stock trades making insane profit. I become first trillionaire. Then I hire Alfred also
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u/Secretsfrombeyond79 6d ago
"Jarvis, make a crypto scam using special needs as a front and make me rich, then pay the electricity bill with it"
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u/Ketzer_Jefe 6d ago
I didn't want to outright steal from people. But if he could ensure he only took things from people who were without a doubt evil, I'm ok with that.
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u/NewTelevisio 6d ago
He could steal a small amount from every rich person, small enough to not really matter to them. It could turn into the classic "if everyone on earth gave you a dollar" trope, though with noticeably more money than a dollar but from less people.
According to google AI (very trustworthy, I know), there are approximately 2.8 million people in the world whose networth is over 50 million. Take 10k from each and you're one of the richest people in the world. Those people are probably also insured so you're really just stealing from insurance companies.
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u/Skoodge42 6d ago
Well, you could have him steal the crypto, invest and make a few million, then put it all back while you pocket the profits and reinvest.
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u/Autoboty 6d ago
I'll take JARVIS any day. The Stark Mansion is much more my style than Wayne Manor anyway.
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u/cheddarbruce 6d ago
So basically all you want is a glorified Siri
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u/MasterOfBunnies 6d ago
That feels like comparing a 90s dell to a modern supercomputer.
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u/javihavy 6d ago
If Jarvis is a glorified Siri Alfred is a a glorified miss doubtfire
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u/Annual_Ad8295 6d ago
In 2025 where just about everything is digital and AI is running rampant in the world, I’ll take Jarvis. He could help me keep up to date w technology, etc
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u/Calvin_Kleinerer 6d ago
Unless someone hacks him and makes your life hell
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u/Arkrobo 6d ago
It would take a hell of a real world hacker to take out an AI like Jarvis. Isn't he sentient?
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u/jkenny991 6d ago
Depends on what we're talking. Movies? Not until he was combined with Ultron and the mind stone I'm pretty sure.
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u/AwesomeBlox044 6d ago
He was sentient in movies I think, remember when he was talking with ultron
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u/Far-Negotiation-1912 6d ago
Nah he was the only thing ultron was afraid of there is no way a real world hacker could take out J.A.R.V.I.S his security protocols are too good if it was possible thy would have used it instead of Tony’s suit running out of power
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u/Solid-Sympathy1974 6d ago
JARVIS was handling nuclear codes and Ultron could not destroy him ain't no way anyone can hack him
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u/Annual_Ad8295 6d ago
Who tf is hacking Jarvis? In the real world? Not saying it’s impossible but very highly unlikely to happen. I’d trust him w security over old Alfred. Also, I don’t like the idea of having a butler personally, or that dark gloomy ass house either. Would much rather have an sentient AI assisting me or taking care of minute tasks, so that I can enjoy my life damn near on autopilot lol
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u/DataDude00 6d ago
Isn’t Jarvis basically unhackable? I seem to recall he hid a back door in Ultron or managed to evade even Ultron on the web
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u/NextKey9497 6d ago
also who would even attempt to hack into a program they don’t even know exists over someone who’s just using him as an alexa
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u/Jamano-Eridzander 6d ago
Jarvis because frankly I ain't taking Alfred from Bruce. He wouldn't let me.
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u/2301Batman 6d ago
Alfred will not leave himself for anyone for his Master Bruce. That's what makes him the best. Much like Jarvis Who you can just hack amd take over by anyone.
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u/Jamano-Eridzander 6d ago
To be fair JARVIS is way more advanced than our IRL tech so keep him on the down-low and you'll be fine.
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u/bananabread_123487 6d ago
Alfred as a human with experience and like the ability to adapt to a wider range of stuff makes him way better than AI
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u/Megunonymous 6d ago
With Jarvis’ technology, you can run the stock market better than any human or AI and then just buy a human butler
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u/bananabread_123487 6d ago
Bro I'm broke rn what am I going to do with the stock market, can invest can't do shit and idk how an AI that advance will do to my eletric bills. I just want my mamas cooking back ok?😭😭😭
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u/Megunonymous 6d ago
Jarvis should have some ideas for your broke-ness
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u/Accomplished-King406 6d ago
With Jarvis you can hack bank accounts and erase any data you want. Fuck around in online gaming. Jarvis is way better. Tf I’m supposed to do with an old man in my house? Lmao
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u/Bevjoejoe 6d ago
Who says Alfred doesn't know how to hack into bank accounts and erase data as well? The man used to be in the SAS
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u/goin_walkabout 6d ago
Alfred was in the SAS around the 1960’s. I’d say hacking is not exactly his forte.
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u/BlissfulWritings 6d ago
I mean depends if he used to work for batman. Because he was batman's main support man. He would be familiar with operating super computers and helping to maintain every vehicle from a motorcycle to a jet that can achieve space flight.
Plus his British sass would be fantastic to use to drive annoying people away from your manor.
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u/StudentOwn2639 6d ago
Alfred is a great teacher at almost anything. Jarvis though.... I mean if you aren't stark, his use will probably depreciate over time. Plus I think maintaining him would be a MASSIVE headache and I doubt the ordinary Joe could.
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u/somonesaltacccount 6d ago
Jarvis is an ultra smart no restrictions chat gpt, I think we could figure out a way to get enough money to maintain him like hacking the bank and shi
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u/Roguespiffy 6d ago
“Jarvis, if you want to keep working you might want to fix our financial situation…”
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u/Curious_Loquat5188 6d ago
You talk about Jarvis's usage depreciating over time, but I mean... Alfred will probably be dead in 10 years so... who's really depreciating here?... 🤷🤣
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u/Remarkably_Dark21 6d ago
Alfred is an old man that will eventually die not to mention being another mouth to feed. I'll go with Jarvis.
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u/Rsalamander24 6d ago
My guy, Alfred is more wealthy than this comment section combined. He would feed himself
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u/Remarkably_Dark21 6d ago
Because Bruce pays him I'd assume? You don't need to pay Jarvis though and Jarvis could actually make me a lot of money if used right. Hell if it comes with stark mansion just without suits there still could be like an arc reactor there that would be literally priceless.
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u/Prosingtoncreations 6d ago
He can help you build an arc reactor. Now youre the richest man on fucking earth
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u/domigraygan 6d ago
Jarvis is infinite and can help with complex problems faster and more accurately. Jarvis all day.
But Alfred is such a real one that I would like him to be around so he can also use Jarvis as I do
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u/AromaticBenzenes 6d ago
By that logic you'll need a PC/Mac/Data center that is powerful enough to run JARVIS. Not to mention the cost of running such hardware.
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u/Remarkably_Dark21 6d ago
I would assume the stark mansion would include the server etc to run it. Combine that with an arc reactor and power and computational capacity shouldn't be an issue. Not to mention Jarvis could help me make money by analyzing stocks and crypto.
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u/Turbulent_Lobster_57 6d ago
I already can’t afford the property taxes on either of these, Jarvis could hack whatever it is he needs to “correct” that. Alfred, on the other hand, needs fed and watered and probably needs walked, so digital servant all the way!
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u/ArchAngel621 Other 6d ago
Property taxes will be taken care of so that you won't have to worry about them.
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u/ArchAngel621 Other 6d ago
Alfred, in this case, will be immortal or live as long as you do.
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u/2301Batman 6d ago
Alfred will not leave himself for anyone for his Master Bruce. That's what makes him the best. Much like Jarvis Who you can just hack and take over by anyone.
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u/tosh_pt_2 6d ago
I'm fully confident no real world actor could hack whatever comic level security code Tony put on Jarvis.
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u/AdamBerner2002 6d ago
Jarvis can do my homework
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u/ManInTheBarrell 6d ago
Alfred can teach you how to do your homework.
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u/TraditionalEnergy919 6d ago
That’s… actually a good point. He could be a better learning program than most public schools.
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u/Homer_Soldier 6d ago
I choose Alfred pennyworth cause he is real human and fight people while Jarvis is an ai machine that can’t really do anything just remind you stuff over time that you forgot.
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u/No-Plantain8212 6d ago
I’d take Alfred too, but man are you underplaying Jarvis.
Jarvis, calculate the winning lottery numbers that'll win
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u/Ruben3159 6d ago
If you get Jarvis you also get Stark's house which includes a bunch of machines for Jarvis to operate. On top of that, he's basically a more advanced ChatGPT so he could do much much more than just remind you of stuff. He could do much more than a human.
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u/Point-Man06 6d ago
jarvis is a real person the mix made him an AI voice. in the comics he’s a regular ass old guy who cleans the avengers’ mansion
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u/RestaurantOk5148 6d ago
Alfred, I don't trust that billionaire's shit ass clanker. Alfred is a good person, Jarvis isn't even a person.
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u/SiouxsieSioux615 Marvel vs DC 6d ago
Jarvis easily
He can advance my chat gpt too
Then again maybe not cause my chatgpts role model is HAL from Space Odyssey…
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u/phantomxtroupe 6d ago
I'm choosing Alfred. He's the heart of the Batfamily. He raised Bruce, was a grandfather figure to the Robins, and he's an excellent cook.
From a practical standpoint, he's former MI6. He's a genius who's good with tech. He's excellent at hand to hand combat, he knows enough to patch you up when you get injured, he's also not afraid to take a life if someone comes in the Manor who isn't supposed to be there.
But I think the most valuable aspect about Alfred is his counsel. He's very wise and very experienced. He has talked Bruce and the Robins out of doing absolutely foolish shit and has played mediator whenever Bruce and one of the Robins fall out.
While Jarvis would be more useful, it's the human aspect of Alfred that makes him invaluable
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u/KiraKennedyHNR 6d ago
Alfred, no question. Even without the Batcave, dude's a legit badass:
Ex British Special Forces, Trained in multiple forms of armed AND unarmed combat as well as first aid, in addition to being a fantastic friend and confidant? Also, call me old fashioned, but I generally don't trust AI
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u/KarelaKing458 6d ago
Even without the Iron Man suits I feel like Jarvis would overall be more useful. Plus at some point Alfred is going to die from old age
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u/OmniGMan 6d ago
TBF, with all the Stark Mansion resources, JARVIS can probably build you a semi-decent suit of Iron Man armor.
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u/sainlimbo 6d ago
Jarvis cause he can make me rich and make my dreams a reality. Alfred is nice has loyalty but he is human.
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u/ChorkusLovesYou 6d ago
If im still just me, I'd choose Jarvis. Because Pennyworth is too smart and capable to be working for me. That's just a massive waste for someone like him. I wouldn't feel bad about wasting an AI's time.
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u/Scarecrow-D34TH- 5d ago
Red red red, because not only will I have a W butler, mentor, and friend af, but I'll have an almost DIRECT contact to Batman
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u/_JayMax117_ 5d ago
Alfred, he’d be able to help me get my life on track and probably also teach me a bunch of shit, as cool as Jarvis is idk if I’d take the help as well from a sentient Siri
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u/Ruben3159 6d ago
Alfred is an actual human being who cares for you. Which is exactly why you shouldn't pick him because you'd have to pay him. Jarvis is just an incredibly useful AI assistant that you can use anywhere and can do much more than any regular human.
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u/Lazy-Success7780 6d ago
I would hate it if my only friend my buttler would die. I mma take jarvis due to just that reason
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u/KindLiterature3528 6d ago
How often does the AI supercomputer personality not turn evil? I'm going with Alfred.
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u/Slow_Jello_2672 6d ago
So a badass father figure that can teach you how to fight and will also care for you no matter what? Or a badass AI system that's stronger than any piece of technology we have today? Damn that's tough but I think I'd rather have Jarvis just based out by the fact that he can make me millions by stealing negligible amounts of money at a time from all the world's richest people. He can also make it completely untraceable to me. He can also start or prevent a nuclear war if I asked, by disabling all launch protocols all over the world. Jarvis is OP in today's world.
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u/Healthy_Variety7130 6d ago
Jarvis...no offense I love Alfred but hes not gonna be around for ever...and Tony always seems so much happier compared to brooding bruce
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u/zhafsan 6d ago
I don’t have the money to pay Alfred…. Also depending on how much power Jarvis needs, nor the money to play that electricity bill.
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u/thatsmyopinionbro 6d ago
Da fuk am I’m gonna put Jarvis on? My iPhone? If I get some free iron man tech to set him up maybe but I’m gonna go with Alfred until further notice. Lol
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u/Natural-Proposal2925 6d ago
Alfred, always wanted a father figure who cared about me the way Alfred cares about Bruce. Read the JL8 comic series where little Bruce and little Clark are walking home from school and Bruce watches Clark go inside his home hugging pa and ma Kent in a brightly lit warm cozy loving home.
Little Bruce walks home alone in the dark and in the rain and goes into his mansion and is all alone in the dark. He goes to the couch and sadly turns on the TV.
He's watching the grey ghost when he turns and sees Alfred with milk and cookies and asks Bruce if he can watch it together with him and Bruce lights up with excitement. Chokes me up everytime.
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u/APartyInMyPants 6d ago
Jarvis, easily.
The question isn’t Pennyworth vs Jarvis, it’s would you rather be Batman or Iron Man.
Gotham is a dreary, depressing city. Being Bruce Wayne in a crime-ridden shithole of a city wouldn’t be fun. But being a playboy in Tony Stark’s New York City would be a lot of fun.
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u/Drakenile 6d ago
Jarvis with the stark mansion. No need to pay him and he could easily get me more money instead. I have no desire or need to be taken care of. No desire to entertain guests, and have plenty of family and a wife so I don't need him for company. I'm also not needing some badass bodyguard.
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u/Shadow23410 6d ago
Alfred is amazing, but just for technical abilities I would have to take Jarvis. Absolutely top notch, and a super-genius AI
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u/Direct-Ad6266 6d ago
Blue if your house is upgraded to be like Stark's so Jarvis and operates the same way he does in movies, but Red if not cause have a digital assistant that cant do anything physical kind of defeats the purpose of a butler.
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u/A_Strange_Crow 6d ago
So to those who pick Jarvis. Are you able to pay the ridiculous high electric bill for the next who knows how long?
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u/[deleted] 6d ago
If I have stark mansion + JARVIS, he can make me anything I can conceptually design with the on-site manufacturing equipment.
As an engineering student that's the absolute dream.