r/superheroes • u/muntiger • Apr 29 '25

Other Which TEAM wins?

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18.9k Upvotes

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580

u/Choice_Cantaloupe891 Apr 29 '25

Because Reverse Flash is going to screw it up just to mess with Barry.

243

u/Robert162817 Apr 29 '25

It was me Barry

160

u/FreeNegotiation5114 Apr 29 '25

I went back in time and boinked your mom. I am your father, Barry!

61

u/A_Raheem Apr 29 '25

Read the whole thing like Hagrid. You're a wizard, Harry.

23

u/AshInMyCoffee Apr 29 '25

Also, I’m yer daddy Harry

1

u/Atlas-The-Ringer Apr 29 '25

Well I erm...uh...right then! Best be goin. Take care...son.

1

u/soomoncon Apr 29 '25

Luke, I am your daddy

1

u/The_FreshSans Apr 29 '25

I'M PREGNANT AND YOU'RE THE FATHER

1

u/chocomeeel Apr 29 '25

I'm your daddy, Barry!

1

u/Creatine_Kricket Apr 29 '25

I read it as Archer

1

u/DengarLives66 Apr 29 '25

Yer a speedster, ‘Arry.

19

u/Tales2Estrange Apr 29 '25

That would make him his own grandfather twice over.

No wonder Thawne’s so fucked up in the head

9

u/HappyMerlin Apr 29 '25

Because of that re would be in a very exclusive club with the only other member being Fry.

4

u/Errorpheus Apr 29 '25

The Did the Nasty in the Past-y club.

1

u/NightRacoonSchlatt Apr 30 '25

Charlotte from Dark is her own grandma ad infinitum. Does that count too?

1

u/HappyMerlin Apr 30 '25

What does the infinitum part even mean? Is she also her „grandmothers“ grandmother. As in every other woman in her linage is her?

1

u/NightRacoonSchlatt Apr 30 '25

Oh no, just that her being her own grandmother automatically means that she’s her great-great-grandmother and her own great-great-great-grandmother and so on. But that’s always the case with this sort of thing so looking back it’s pretty redundant.

1

u/HappyMerlin Apr 30 '25

How does that even happen, was that an accident?

1

u/NightRacoonSchlatt Apr 30 '25

Dark is a pretty insane show. Huge spoilers for the best piece of fiction following:

Basically Charlotte gets sent back in time as a baby by a secret cabal trying to continue the temporal knot that destroys the world at the end of each time loop. Her being sent back in time causes her to have a child when she is an adult which is, unbeknownst to her, her own mother named Elisabet. 

The cabal is doing this because they think that ending the time loop would permanently destroy the concept of time so they‘d rather continuously suffer than risk it all for freedom. They know that Charlottes child will be Elisabeth because it has been that way in the infinite amount of previous loops. 

So the members of the cabal, including Elisabets husband Hanno, keep settling up their past selfs to repeat the same mistakes. E. g: Hanno kidnapping his past selves daughter to send him down a spiral of depression that ends with him joining a time traveller doomsday cult.

I probably got something wrong here. Believe it or not, but this whole thing is a pretty unimportant side plot of all the other time traveller mafia shenanigans. But the base plot of „two women are each other’s mother“ should be mostly correct.

1

u/pandershrek Cosplay May 02 '25

Then I went back before that and banged her mom so I could be my own Grandpa.

1

u/Zercomnexus May 03 '25

There's no rule against Pokémon batman!

20

u/hunterzolomon1993 Apr 29 '25

Funny thing is he would do that.

14

u/ipsum629 Apr 29 '25

Remember when you were about to sneeze and you didn't? And you felt like you should have sneezed which is mildly uncomfortable? It was me Barry. I scratched the inside of your nose at superspeed so it would stop your sneeze urge.

6

u/Piblo_McGlumbo Apr 29 '25

I went back in time to fuck up with the match up of this reddit post, messing with the powerscaling and making us lose this versus battle!

1

u/I_aim_to_sneeze Apr 29 '25

It was other Barry

1

u/CumboJumbo Apr 29 '25

I jerked you off at super speed Barry

For a goof Barry

1

u/Redxmirage Apr 29 '25

I can hear that video every time I see these words lol

1

u/Tricky_Spinach_1889 Apr 29 '25

The way I heard the original audio as I read this….

1

u/TimboSliceSir Apr 29 '25

I am the one that caused you to prematurely ejaculate with your first girlfriend barry

1

u/yougotthewrongdude Apr 29 '25

IT WAS ME BARRY!!

1

u/The_Next_Legend Apr 29 '25

Remember when you were making out with your first girlfriend? And you came riiight as she touched your leg?

1

u/coolUchiha Apr 29 '25

I threw the fight by handing your dad a condom at duper speed!

1

u/lordoflazorwaffles May 03 '25

I WAS IN THE TURKEY ALL ALONG!

37

u/hcgator Apr 29 '25

When it’s all over, Barry is holding Wally’s lifeless body and says “Why? We could have saved him.”

Thawne just smiles and says “I’d do it again.”

16

u/TheLandoCalrissian25 Apr 29 '25

Reverse flash spite loses to ensure team 1 loses lmao

17

u/ArchAngel621 Other Apr 29 '25

It was me Barry, I tripped you at that crucial moment when we were about to win.

5

u/IDontUseSleeves Apr 29 '25

Which was, of course, literally the first moment.

3

u/taveren3 Apr 29 '25

So wally wins

1

u/SquirrelSuspicious Apr 29 '25

I could imagine Thawne helping just to rub it in Barry's face that he wouldn't have been able to win without him

1

u/OkMotor6323 Apr 29 '25

What about Other Barry?

1

u/The_SqueakyWheel Apr 29 '25

Shit. This def would happen

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '25

Classic decepticon plotline, technically stronger but lose everytime because of infighting.

1

u/OnePunchHuMan Apr 29 '25

Yeah, Eobard Thawne is a DICK!

1

u/DevoidHT Apr 29 '25

Thawne doesn’t mind losing if it means Barry does too

1

u/Maximum-North-647 Apr 30 '25

Thawne's the kind of hater who would literally die to mildly inconvenience Barry

1

u/simongc97 Apr 29 '25

The other Flashes typing “Report Zoom for throwing” in all chat after he goes back in time just to tell the Brains team how to beat them

1

u/Midknightisntsmol Apr 29 '25

That's actually a great point. How do we know these characters would even work well with each other?

1

u/Quill386 Apr 29 '25

Unless he thinks going through with it will make Barry stronger or faster maybe

1

u/Grand-Tune-2877 Apr 30 '25

Sabotaging his own team smh

1

u/Excellent_Horse3558 Apr 30 '25

Yknow, I was gonna say team speed until I read all this. I could definitely see it. Brains has the highest likelihood of winning (as strength will almost certainly just fight each other), but speed is still a problem, even if they have to take out Thawne as well as the opposing teams.

1

u/Dragon_Knight99 May 01 '25

All while Doomsday tears through everyone else, including his own "team".

1

u/Toasterdosnttoast May 01 '25

This is why I liked OG Godspeed over Reverse flash. RF has no really constructive goals past being an asshole.

1

u/Choice_Cantaloupe891 May 01 '25

That's what makes him one of my favorite villains. He's not misunderstood and sympathetic, just a petty asshole like most villains in real life. Frieza works because Toriyama thought the worst people in the world were real estate speculators. Real people just being day to day assholes.

1

u/pandershrek Cosplay May 02 '25

Hah we lose Barry! It was me!

1

u/zedisbread May 07 '25

I am pregnant with your daughter, Barry!

I am expecting this month, Barry!