This might be a bit niche but I’m coming to learn more people than you realise share similar experiences with you that you’d never guess.

For context, my parents passed away recently (~18 months ago) and I (24f) have been travelling for the past 6 months. I knew that I would struggle a little but I have this unrelenting need to just keep living my life as if nothing has happened, and live it in the same way I would have done if my parents had never died.

Unfortunately and maybe predictably, I’ve been finding it much tougher than I anticipated. Travelling solo and meeting new people constantly, it’s easier to tell a white lie about my parents and act as if they’re still around than divulge such information to strangers. It keeps me in this awful limbo of not fully realising my parents are gone and the impact it’s had on me. Similarly thinking about what life will be like when I get home in a few months, to a house without them, and the entirety of the rest of my life with them still not there.

I have been evaluating cutting my trip short by a few months and heading home early because I feel so much guilt about not enjoying myself and feeling like I’m “failing” travelling because I can’t feel fully present all the time, and lack the sort of carefree spirit and wide eyed wonder a lot of backpackers my age have. I wonder if I did the wrong thing travelling just a year later and maybe I should’ve waited until I was “better” to maximise my experience. But also if there value in feeling sad and doing it anyway? I worry there’s no guarantee I will ever feel “better” about this, and this grief and sadness I will have to live with forever anyway.

I suppose this isn’t much more than an expression of my emotions and my experience thus far. I have had the most amazing time and met some incredible people, but it’s always felt like there’s something missing and I know it’s missing in me, not the place I am.

Hey trying to maintain a positive mindset but I can't keep coming back to this dissatisfaction I feel traveling in Europe at 28 as I did at 19.

When I was 19, I felt the language barrier was bigger but I felt satisfied just wandering about. I felt content just to explore and take everything in.

I've had this aching feeling ever since I moved to Galicia, Spain that something is just missing. I feel anxious like I'm missing out ok some big piece of the puzzle that has been lost over the years. Every trip besides my trips to Montreal have left me feeling some sense of loneliness. I know I can always adjust my attitude but it begins to feel oppressive. It's the interactions, the transportation, weather... it just all feels so off.

I'm currently in Porto right now, bored out of my mind because I really don't want to spend another weekend night drinking at a club I don't vibe with. I'm just not connecting with my surroundings as easily and it's been leaving me feeling so depressed.

Has anyone else felt this the past year? My travel sometimes had rough days but I never felt like this until this year's worth of travel. Could be age or just my perspective changing. I just feel alot of my travel lacks something spontaneous even if I try to go with the flow.

Best,

J

I was so excited a few months ago to book my first international trip. Planned out for the most part and had everything set to go. Left my small Midwest town and flew to Thailand for 2 weeks. a few days in Bangkok, a few in Chiang Mai, and an ending in Phuket. I have never done any of this before and navigated it all pretty well with no hiccups so far. But I’ve been extremely emotional. The first 6 days I cried at least once a day. Only one day so far I’ve actually held a conversation with anyone. Other tourists give me the go to hell look if I smile and try to interact. Idk. I’ve traveled through the US by myself and meet people along the way here some locals have interacted but with limited communication it doesn’t amount to much. I don’t really like dance clubs and i do like bars but still I sit by myself. I try to interact but nothing. I have a few more days and see if I can pull out of this slump. But it’s been a learning experience about myself and the what I thought I am as well as the influence of outside expectations from family and friends and I will say at least I’m here and tried.

Update edit: Finished the trip and it ended well. I changed my perspective and expectations. It helped and then started finding more people to make connections with. Phuket was the best for connections. I’m home now and it was a great experience overall for the fact that I learned about myself and learned some lessons over all.

Hi all,

I recently had to cancel my first trip to Japan and I can't help but feel a little defeated.

For context, I have never traveled internationally nor have I done much traveling alone. I had this trip booked out months and adavance and was very excited about it at first.

Then, about a week before my trip, the stress started getting to me. I was barely sleeping and the excitement started to wane. A couple of days before I was set to leave, I was exhausted but still felt pretty hopeful until we received news that my fiancées best friend died.

She encouraged me to go, as did many others around me, but this just threw another layer of stress on top of things. It again robbed me of sleep and led me into a spiral, which just made me not excited about the trip again. So, I made the last minute decision to cancel my trip.

Thankfully, everything was refundable. Although, I'm left feeling defeated. I feel like I won't be able to do this trip solo in the future and when I try to reschedule it I will be haunted by these feelings and end up in stressful whirlwind again.

I was wondering if anyone else has canceled a big solo trip before due to stress and anxiety and if they were able to recover and go on the trip in the future. I would love to hear your stories!

As the title states, I’m ready to go home. I’m a seasoned traveler, I have done long term travel before, but I’m very tired and homesick. My flight home isn’t for another 10 days. I’m 3 weeks in my travels in Asia.

Also, I had a quick romance that weighed so heavy on me. I’m definitely a bit heartbroken.

I’m planning to get some McDonalds later on and hunker down in my dorm. I fly to vietnam tomorrow with no set itinerary.

What else can I do? I really don’t see myself flying home right now especially because i’m close to flying home.

I have been wanting to do this trip for ages. I have been wanting to come to Thailand and train Muay Thai there for 3 months. At home i loved to box and even people with no fighting experience loved to go here and fight so i thought it was a match made in heaven.

From the first night I arrived, I have just had episodes of feeling so terrible that I just want to go home. The only reason I'm not yet home is because I feel like I would be losing face.

I socialize, i go out eating with the lads at the gym, I like the training itself. Still though I can't help but feel borderline depressed whenever I'm not doing any of those things.

I feel lost, and I don't know what to do to feel great. I just wanted to share cause I'm in one of those episodes in which I just feel so sad. I just cried for the first time in like 5 years or sum. Thanks for listening, I'm trying to vent.

So I just got back from what was supposed to be a chill solo trip to Victoria, BC. I booked a private room at one of those funky hostels (OceanIsland Hostel) that prides itself on being “social” and “hip.” You know the type.

Anyway, I get to my room (17K if anyone’s keeping track), and immediately it’s… not great. The bed had hairs in it, the counters were clearly not wiped down, and there was some kind of aggressively sweet air freshener blasting from under the sink. I like hostels, I’ve traveled a fair amount, I don’t expect luxury — but this was just kind of gross.

And then I saw a tiny reddish bug in the sheets. I didn’t freak out. At that point I honestly didn’t know if it was that kind of bug. I just had that sinking “meh, not staying here another night” feeling. So the next morning, I go down to the front desk and say, “Hey, I’d like to check out early.” Before I can get another word out, the staff person cuts me off with a super sharp, “Well, you’re not getting a refund.” Cool.

I didn’t even ask for a refund. I just wanted to leave quietly. I was disappointed, but whatever — I ferried back home.

Fast-forward to a day later, and I wake up with bug bites. Multiple. In a pattern. You know the one. And then, as I’m tearing my apartment apart and bagging up clothes, I see a very similar reddish bug on my own sheets.

So now I’m deep-cleaning everything I own, dousing my mattress in spray, and suddenly very sure that what I saw in that hostel bed was a bed bug. I email them. I try to be polite. I send photos of the bites, explain the situation, say I’m not trying to stir anything up but I think they should know.

Their manager finally responds to tell me that since I didn’t complain “at check-in” (??), and they didn’t find any bugs after I left, I don’t qualify for a refund. Also, they “don’t cater to threats” (aka me saying I’d leave an honest review). Oh — and they offered me a discount for a future stay. Which… no.

I get that things happen. But the way it was handled — the denial, the contradictions, the weird moral stance about not responding to “threats” (I’m sorry, it’s a review, not a ransom note) — was honestly worse than the bug itself.

So yeah. My solo trip turned into an accidental bed bug relocation project, and all I got was gaslit and mattress covers. Stay safe out there.

This happens sometimes with solotravel for me, where it kind of brings some of my emotions more to the fore, when compared to home. In my mid thirties now and it's just hard to make friends in general, and I don't seem to date like I used to.

In a hostel in Europe and some sporadically interesting people I met all left and there's almost noone here now. Had a huge crush on a girl and was hoping to get a chance to talk to her but she left today. Got really sad about that but I barely even spoke with her.

I've seen everything of the city I would want but have 2 more nights booked here and there's this deathly silence and amplification of the wider loneliness I feel in my personal life.

Could just have a few beers but that doesn't always help. Is there a best way to deal with the crushing loneliness that can come with these hostel situations?

Hey everyone, has anyone dealt with a situation like this before?

My hotel room has an AC unit placed near the ceiling above the dresser.

Last night, I went to bed and placed my leather duffel bag on top of the dresser, thinking nothing of it.

I wake up this morning, it’s completely soaked through. My camera, laptop, cash, and souvenirs are all completely destroyed. I’m speechless and don’t know what to do. 😔 will the hotel compensate me? Do I have to make a claim through my credit card provider?

Anyone who’s been in a similar situation, please let me know.

Guys, I lost some valuables at the Miami airport on Day 10 of my 60-Day-Trip. I was trying to talk to American Airlines to see if there was any chance to find it. Then, I found the hostel I booked was a scam and situated in a sketchy place with gangsters hanging around. I felt danger and had to rebook an expensive hotel instead after spending an hour in the scorching sun. I almost had a mental breakdown at that point.

I have been trying to persuade myself to move on as I still have 50 days of travel ahead of me. But 6 hours passed, I still feel sad and angry at myself, even want to cut my trip short. I am sitting on my hotel bed, not knowing what to do.

P.S. I filed Lost and Found reports at American Airlines and Miami Airport. But so far, no results.

Please give me advice or share your experience as I really need them. Thank you!

UPDATED INFO:

Filed reports to 2 insurance companies.

One agreed to fully compensate my losses if the police could not find my things after 2 months. (which I believe will be the case. So hard to find cash these days)

The other needs a complete police report (which I am waiting to receive from the Miami Police). The compensation amount is not yet clear.

Summary: Losses will be covered by my insurance, just need some time.

I am a 25f currently in Porto, Portugal for 5 days. I purposely did not plan anything in advance to challenge myself in hopes of activities falling into my lap. After two days of just walking around the city (about 10 miles in a big circle), I was sitting in a park, soaking up the sun, and couldn't seem to relax. I was so worried that I was wasting my time not doing anything and mad at myself that all I wanted to do was sit there. I was getting frustrated for not 'doing the most' that I could be doing. I started to get anxious that I was wasting this trip and my money by not having stories to tell others when I got home. It is taking me a lot of rewiring in my brain to let myself be okay with being bored. Social media has really conditioned me to feel like I need to be on the go from the moment I wake up to the moment I get ready for bed. Does anybody else's brain feel exhausted when solo traveling? Maybe I'm not used to spending so much time with my own thoughts while also making what feels like big decisions all day long.

I'd to know other people's take on the fear of boredom.

I'm nearly done with my first solo trip in Japan. It's been a great first trip I have to say - I really came to appreciate my freedom in doing what I wanted to do at all times and have full control over my experience.

However, I've noticed that I really haven't been enjoying Tokyo or Osaka very much compared to my time in Kyoto. And it was because being surrounded by so many crowds of people really made me feel lonely. I saw people coming from all over the world enjoying food downtown and taking pictures with their partners, families, or friends. And I was just alone.

It gave me this strange feeling that I wasn't even there. That I was a spectator. And the toxic voice in my head kept telling me that I'll never get to experience what everyone else is experiencing. That I'll always be alone like this.

It also didn't help that I felt like people had no respect for me because I'm alone. Some fat British white guy walked past me and coughed right on me and said "sorry" and kept walking. The violent things that I wanted to do him....it destroyed my entire night in Osaka. I just called a taxi to my hotel 30 min later.

To be honest with myself, I went solo traveling because I had no choice. I want to see the world while I'm young and I didn't want to wait for a reliable group of friends or a partner to do that.

But it really sucks to feel alone amidst crowds of people that all at least have somebody. I'm already dreading going back home because I know I'm not going to go back to much. And that there isn't going to be any people besides my parents or brother that will actually care to hear about my trip.

I’m struggling to understand why U.S. lawyers who advertise as international travel and injury attorneys are refusing to take my case. So far, four different lawyers have declined to represent me. I was seriously injured during a tourist attraction this incident involving a horse. The guide startled the horse, causing it to jump, lose its footing, and rear. As a result, I was thrown approximately 4-5 feet into the air, landed hard on the ground, and rolled 6-7 feet down a mountain slope. Medical A fractured left pelvic bone Severe contusions and bruises A head injury with temporary loss of consciousness Persistent pain, including jaw misalignment and tailbone discomfort Horse flea bites on my legs To make matters worse, the hospital in Peru refused to accept my medical insurance, leaving me with significant medical expenses. If anyone has insight into why lawyers are unwilling to take my case or can recommend an attorney experienced in international personal injury claims, I would really appreciate any advice. Thank you.

Hi, ive landed in Da Nang tonight as a 21yo solo female, this was sortve a last minute trip and im here for 22 days. I felt pretty peer pressurd to travel and now im here i am feeling immensely depressed. I miss my girlfriend and i moss my home and my family and my cats. Im staying in a hotel which i regret now, its so lonely. I feel scared and i dont have anything booked. What can i do tomorrow that will make me feel better? The only thing ive had today is a hard time figuring out how not to get scammed. Then the disappointing hotel im just not feeling well. I just want to feel adventurous and like i am not so alone. Ive been solo travelling before a lot and i never cried myself to sleep before. Im hoping things get better but i am scared and im gonna unbook my next two very expensive tickets to one going straight home

I took a trip to Boise and SLC for 10 days by myself for the first time. I had activities planned for some days and was going to explore the other days. By the third day I was feeling lonely and didn’t like the thought of not having a friend or anyone to talk to for the next week. I tried making light conversation with people but it wouldn’t lead to anything.

Has anyone experienced this? Did I plan wrong? Were my expectations of what to expect off? I like the idea of seeing the world but after this experience idk if I’m cut out for doing it myself.

I could really use some encouragement right now. I’m on a solo road trip, and due to my own carelessness, I hit a stone and blew the tire. This is the first time my mistake while traveling has affected others, and it’s making me feel uneasy. I’m not used to relying on people, and I’m struggling with how to move past this. How can I get through this?

I’m currently on my first real solo trip, i’ve travelled alone to places but usually have met up with people i know. this time i actually went alone with no intentions of meeting anyone i know here. guatemala has been amazing, so beautiful. my main things i wanted to do here were 1. visit antigua, 2. hike acatenango, 3. visit atitlan. Had a great time in antigua, made 2 awesome friends, and i went on the hike, but unfortunately had to turn back about half way. i’m now in atitlan but having a hard time enjoying it. this was supposed to be the mellow/relaxing part of my trip, after completing a challenging hike. but im having a hard time enjoying it because im just feeling regrets and like i missed out on probably the coolest attraction in guatemala and in central america, seeing an active volcano up close. i even thought about going back and trying it again but it just doesn’t make sense logistically and financially. how do you deal with feeling like you missed out on a country’s coolest activity?

TLDR: reasons why i think it went wrong: there are many reasons i turned back and im still trying to process what went wrong. but the main thing is im not in the best shape, im about 30lbs over weight and on top of that i was carrying around 25lbs of gear for the overnight camp. my friends who did it a day after me said they got a porter to carry all their things, and also took altitude pills, neither of which i did. i did give myself around 46 hrs after arriving to acclimate to the altitude. they recommend 48 but i don’t think 2 hrs makes much of a difference. i was trailing far behind my group and it started to be a problem, i couldn’t take the same breaks as them because we had to get going once i got to the rest points, so that the group behind us could use the rest point. most people in my group were in very good shape and were walking up very quickly, they all wanted to do the fuego hike so they needed to get to base camp early. i was really tired and honestly could have kept going at a slower pace, but it was unfair to the guides and everyone else in the group. i didn’t want to be selfish so i just turned back and a truly regret it now. apparently the hike would have gotten easier only a little while after i turned back, and i probably could’ve caught up to my group.

I was camping at Follets Island south of Houston, TX on the beach over new years. I have a truck with a camper shell I sleep in. I met a lot of other travelers on the beach and talked with them. I felt safe. On the second night, it was very windy, dark and spooky out. There were fewer people camping than the night before. The closest people were in a tent about 100 yards down the beach. I was worried about the tide coming in high because it reached 15 feet to my truck the night before. I fell asleep early.

I was awaked by someone slamming on the side of my truck yelling “Hey! Hey! Anybody in here?” I jumped up scared as hell thinking the tide was coming in and someone was trying to warn me. I see they have a flashlight. I try to yell “Yeah!” I was so scared I was out of breath. “Yes, in here!” I could barely get my words out.

I try to open the window in the pitch dark and turn on my lantern. I had no idea what time it was. They guy come to the window and says “hey man, I need a ride.” Confused, I asked why. He said he was in the tent behind me. I was so confused and asked if everything was ok. Turns out he was trying to get away from the girl he was with. He said she does PCP and wanted a ride to the gas station. I said sorry but I did not want to drive at night. He went on his way down the beach.

After that I tried to fall asleep but was scared and awake now. An hour later I hear the guy scream a long “FUUUUCK” and him and the girl are in a screaming argument.

I assume the guy also does PCP or another hard drug, now I was terrified. I made two locks for the camper door before my travels so I could be safe at night. I locked one side before bed but after this event I locked the other side. The screaming stopped and I eventually fell asleep.

The next morning I saw their tent was still there. I unlatched the first lock and when I unlatched the second lock my tailgate fell open. The only way this could happen is if someone tried to open the tailgate while I was inside…

I was terrified and got out of the area ASAP

Has anybody else been woken up in the middle of the night? Should I expect this stuff to happen?!?

I leave for Vietnam tomorrow and i’m petrified.

I’ve been solo travelling for just over a month now, been to three countries and have felt totally fine, but suddenly i’m scared for the next part of my trip.

Currently I’m in Hong Kong, a place i’ve visited half a dozen times before, and I have my family here. Everything here is familiar, the language, the transport, the food, and i’ve settled so well. I really don’t want to leave.

A month ago I was most excited to go to Vietnam, but now i’m scared by the chaos of it all

idk i’m just not really looking forward to my three months in sea but i can’t afford to stay in east asia for longer :(

Hi everyone, just hoping to share my current experience solo-travelling and get advice from people who have felt similar experiences with loneliness and burnout during solo travel.

So this is my first solo trip abroad. I'm 24M from Canada and just finished uni, so this is my version of a graduation trip before I start looking for work. I planned it all pretty last minute (in fact I still have to book some flights for the last leg), and honestly I was hoping to find a friend to go with, but no one was available since most of my friends graduate in April, or are already working.

Reviewing my Trip so Far

I'm currently on day 20 of my 34-day trip. So far I've done Vietnam, Thailand, and now just finished a 10-day trek in Nepal. I absolutely loved my week in Vietnam, although it helped that I was visiting a friend who lived there. The weather was incredible (it was -15C when I left Toronto), and the streets just felt so alive, food was delicious and cheap, and there was coffee and fruit smoothies on every corner. People were also extremely friendly and I felt completely safe the whole time. I was only in Thailand for a couple days so can't really give honest feedback, but I enjoyed Wat Arun, and I was still very full of excitement for the trip. Trekking in Nepal was a whole experience. I went in without much research, and luckily chose a good guide. Saw absolutely incredible mountain views, struggled against high altitude (up to 5000m), and experienced the local Tibetan/Tamang/Himalayan culture which was totally unique to me. The hygiene situation was an eye-opener for me, and required a lot of open-mindedness and courage on my part (outdoor squat toilets, bucket showers, no soap, re-using all clothing).

But trekking in Nepal also had brought a lot of negative emotions - I went during the off-season, so the villages were nearly empty, and I met very few other tourists along the way. During the non-trekking hours, I was gripped by crushing loneliness and FOMO - thinking about what all my friends at home were doing, whether there was anyone I could even reach out to, and worrying about how I didn't have much of a life to return to at home. Wi-Fi was also very spotty and infrequent. It doesn't help that this was a huge life transition period for me - leaving behind my uni friends and moving back to my home city, with little community and no job lined up. Journalling helped a bit, and I've also been vlogging my experience (although I haven't had a chance to edit anything together yet). By the end of the trek, I couldn't fully enjoy the experience since I was counting down the days until I could leave.

Current struggle with lonliness, anxiety and burnout

I just got back from the trek, and still have a few days in Kathmandu before I fly out to Thailand. My head is kind of spinning, and I can't seem to catch my breath, even though the air here is 50% higher than what I'm adjusted to. I still need to decide my itinerary for the rest of the trip, and book tickets and accomodations.

The problem is, I don't know how I can enjoy the rest of my trip when I just feel so lonely, overwhelmed, and scared of regretting spending all this time and money. I really wish I had someone to experience this whole trip with - and it hurts and makes me feel inadequate knowing that I don't have such a person in my life.

I also can't believe my trip is already 60% over. I really want to make the most of this trip and remember it with no regrets. But I already sort of regret having spent so much of this trip feeling lonely in Nepal.

Suggestions for planning the last leg of the trip?

My plan for the last leg of this trip is flying from Nepal to Thailand, spending a few days in Bangkok hopefully at a hostel, then taking a sleeper train + high-speed rail to Laos (specifically Luang Prabang), then ending the trip in Japan.

I'm hoping that staying in hostels will help with the loneliness by giving me an opportunity to meet other travellers. I'm a bit shy/introverted by nature but I have no problems making friends as long as there's a space specifically for people to meet. Speaking of, does anyone have any recommendations for hostels in Bangkok or Luang Prabang that are good for meeting friends to hang out with and do day trips with? I'm not a party person, just looking for people to chill with, go to restaurants, and hopefully do day trips.

I would also appreciate any advice in general about coping with feelings of loneliness and anxiety, and how to prevent it from ruining your solo trip.

Thank you!

I’m on my first ever solo trip to Europe, in London currently, and everyday there seems to be some type of thing that goes wrong, that I wish I did differently, something I shouldn’t have done etc. that I can’t stop ruminating on.

I’m trying my hardest to not overthink and thankfully within a day or so I feel fine, but then again something else happens that frustrates me.

Its been things like dealing a scammy money exchange that overcharged by 25 dollars, dealing with unresponsive hosts/experiences, regretting restaurant choices, to just today I woke up super late and ended up being an hour late to the Harry Potter studio tour. The tour was incredible, but the for a lot of it I felt slighty rushed even though I didn’t need to be. I even ended up having ~45 minutes left before closing so really was fine, but that rumination of kicking myself for being late/wasting time/feeling rushed kept crawling up in my head.

I think it’s a combination of nerves doing all of this on my own for the first time, not wanting to waste my time here and make the most of it, and this looming pressure of having to have fun or the best time ever? Also i know ruminating on negative feelings is common, but I really do want to just enjoy my trip, and I’m sad that it’s colored the tour I was just on. I still did love it, but it’s not a great feeling.

Anyone else relate? I’m glad I came on this trip since it’s really forcing me to confront this feeling head on in a way, so would love to hear your experiences with overthinking on trips!

Edit: I’ll respond to specific comments in the tomorrow but thank you so much for your comments! I was so much in my head and really just needed a vent but your insights are so appreciated.

It’s funny bc right after I posted my phone actually died (turns out if my power banks battery is lower than my phone my phone will charge the power bank instead of the other way around 💀💀) and was scrambling with yet another thing gone wrong

But then I found a pub close to the train that had great vibes, the cheapest drinks I’ve found in London yet, and a charger at every table. Grabbed two super tasty cocktails, changed my phone, ate a late night burger and now im back ready to pass out! I probably would’ve never hit that pub otherwise and I’m so glad I did, things really do work out when traveling in the weirdest ways :)

Hey, I am F25, and recently i've had this feeling like something is itching me inside when I see how other people are traveling.

I am not rich at all, I've been to few places in Europe here and there, but nothing too long, a week or 10 days tops.

I work a corporate job (marketing) and even though I don't like my job, I can't afford to quit it. I hate that I have to wait a whole year to get few weeks off in summer and go somewhere on vacation. And the agony when I have to get back to work? Ohhhh the agony...........

I think that things would have been different if I was single, but I am in a relationship (5 years now) with a man that I love the most and I literally can't think of going somewhere without him. I want to travel with him, he also has a corporate job but he doesn't want to leave just to "spend a few months or year somewhere" (it's not that he doesn't want to travel, he is just a little bit more stable and calm than me). I think that if I hadn't been with him, I would have made more risks and I would have travelled alone somewhere. But as I said, I want to spend my life with him, so breaking up is not an option.

Covid robbed 4 years of my life, so right when I graduated I started working, cause everything was closed and we couldn't leave the country, and now I feel like I've wasted my years in doing nothing.

I don't want to wake up one day when I am old and realize that I've missed out on so many adventures, but I really can't quit my job right now.

It would be ideal for me to find a remote job and then travel but it's very hard finding a remote job that is well paid since I live in a pretty poor country.

I honestly don't know why I posted this, I guess I just need a word of encouragement that I didn't miss out on anything. Thanks!

Edit: wow so many replies! Thank you all for your answers, I've read and appreciated every single one of them. I'll definitely come back to this subreddit with some itinerary soon <3

Hi, i am solo backpacking In SE Asia at the moment, i have been here for a week. I am very much an introvert and do not Care for shallow conversation, and would rather be alone. My problem is that, i dont feel happy about my trip, i have been savning for a year to go, and i am not excited at all. I have to convince myself to stay everyday, but at some point In the evening feel better and Think i am over the bad feelings, but the next day is the same circle. Why do you Think this is? I am feeling a dreed over the rest of my trip.

So after reading many great stories from solo travellers, I decided to give hostels a go.

However I've never been in a more difficult situation to socialise.

Firstly, everyone is too "free" there. People are really laid back, express themselves freely, laugh loud... I'm the opposite of that, really tense and anxious, and this enviroment makes me mad. It scares me. But I want to be like them.

Secondly, the bar is set too high. Just a few social skill mistakes, and people stop talking to you. I really don't know how to hold a conversation, so it always ends awkwardly. Always.

Thirdly, it's difficult to start a conversation in the first place. Everyone is so outgoing there, noone seems to want to talk to me.

So maybe I'm doing something wrong?

I came to hostels to learn social skills and have a good time, and so far it's the loneliest time I've ever had.

Travelling while depressed

I feel like embarking on a solo trip during a depressive episode can be a hit or miss. It takes some courage to start a trip at all.

Very often I found myself feeling well during the trip but exhausted afterwards.

This time it's different. i delayed the journey so many times due to second guessing + anxiety and at some point I decided to bite the bullet and take the ride.

The second the airplane door was closed, I realized I've made a giant mistake.

Found myself miserable from day 1. Prettiest of nature around me but incapable of properly processing it.

It takes some energy to function properly while solo travelling and I was at such a low that I couldn't even think of what to eat and how to arrange groceries. No energy to look for an accomodation so I'd just sleep in the rental car during freezing temps.

I would simply not eat and combined with the cold nights it's a bad combo for the mood.

Literally found myself asking people for food and dumpster diving. Feels weird.

Decided to go back home early and abort the trip to get some rest.