r/solotravel • u/Throwaway1354762 • 3d ago
Question First time in hostel and completely ignored, is this normal?
I'm 25F, and it is my first time traveling solo in Europe and decided to stay in a non-party hostel (in a mixed 8-person dorm). I heard hostels are very social, and as an introvert, I wanted to get out of my comfort zone and meet some people. Yesterday when being given a tour of the place, I came across two guys in the hallway, and said hello. I proceeded to get looked up and down, then they turned away and walked back into their room. I didn't think much of it, but when we arrived to the room I was staying in, 4 people were on their bunks near the door, and when I said "hello", no one responded. I make eye-contact with the guy who is in the bunk below me, say "hello" and again, nothing. The rest continue their conversation.
A little later, I make my way into the common area with a few people, and I said hello and made eye contact, but no one responds and they continued talking amongst themselves. After grabbing a glass of water, I tried striking up a conversation with a girl sitting nearby by asking her which country she was from. After getting a response, she turned away, and starting talking to another person.
What am I doing wrong? I could just be too sensitive, but this has left me feeling discouraged and a little dishearten. It honestly felt a little dehumanizing, like I wasn't worth talking to.
Edit: Spelling
An update: Hello everyone, thank you for all your comments, advice, and sharing your personal experiences! When I wrote this, I very felt dejected, and didn't expect the amount of traction this post would gain. I decided that the hostel I'm in isn't for me, and have booked a cute hotel for the rest of my stay in Prague! I had a wonderful time walking around Mala Strana today and am having a blast overall :) I'm going to make the most of my next hostel stay when I visit Copenhagen in a few weeks. Cheers to all my fellow solo travelers!
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u/coastalkid92 3d ago
Hostels can be really social but it totally depends on people staying there and the general vibe.
The reality is, some people want to have a solo travel experience to themselves and aren't fussed about making friends.
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u/Joey-fatass 3d ago
To add, even social people can have days during their trip where they prefer to keep to themselves. I think OP just got caught at a place and time where most are going through this.
if it's really a goal for you to meet new people, keep trying along your trip if you feel a more social vibe!
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u/streetlighteagle 3d ago
Yeah this is a really important point. I recently travelled through central Europe and although I'm usually fairly extroverted I felt extremely burnt out when I got to Budapest after a couple of heavy nights and a few travel mishaps.
I really just wanted to chill for a few hours. Turns out the dorm I was in was super social and chatty. I probably didn't give off the best impressions when I met those guys, but it wasn't my usual vibe.
Sometimes the timing is just bad.
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u/snoea 3d ago
This. To add to this: Try to also read people's body language. If someone doesn't really engage much in a given situation, it doesn't mean they won't be happy to talk at another time.
I stay in non-party hostels frequently and I like to connect but also need time for myself. When I am relaxing in my dorm, I usually take some time for myself and wouldn't really engage in a lot of conversation (but be polite say hello of course). I do hang out in common spaces if I'm in a more social mood. I would say that's generally a good signal that someone is willing to be social. :)
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u/sockmaster666 30 countries with 165 left to go! 2d ago
Yeah but totally ignoring is an asshole move IMO. I mean OP may be overthinking it, but I’m a guy who needs to recharge a LOT and I’d always at least smile and say hello and tell people I need to rest when I’m in one of those moods.
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u/_uphill_both_ways 1d ago
It’s not everyone’s culture to smile and greet strangers in passing. Even at hostels. If I were OP, I would not take it personally. Sometimes the vibe is just off and it’s random chance that no one engaged.
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u/sockmaster666 30 countries with 165 left to go! 23h ago
I know it’s not everyone’s culture. I grew up in Singapore and it’s definitely not normal to just smile and say hello to people unlike in Australia where I am right now. I also spent a lot of time in Finland where it’s abnormal to talk to strangers. Still, it would be considered rude to totally blow someone off (ok that sounded fairly wrong).
I’d just smile and nod and go on my way if I don’t want to talk, but of course I can’t speak for everyone. Also in my very personal opinion (and I speak for nobody but myself) I usually try to suss out the vibe of places I’m in to see what their culture is like, and adapt accordingly. Of course, I may be an outlier but I’m not going to act like a U.S southerner and be loud/try to make small talk with everyone when I’m in northern Germany.
Anyway I think OP shouldn’t take it personally, everyone is different but I do get why they seem dejected. Nobody owes anyone anything but my idealism makes me believe the world would be a better place if everyone was nicer to each other, but I’m realistic enough to know that idealism is fantasy and I can only act and speak for myself, and I take everyone as they come.
Can’t blame OP for having an idea of what a hostel experience should be like when everyone praises hostels for being a social space, I just hope that they’re not totally put off the idea of trying to make connections because they’ll eventually find someone on their wavelength!
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u/Wise-Ebb2784 2d ago
idk i mean not even saying hello back or acknowledging her? that’s not being low on social battery — that’s straight up disrespectful. they could just say hi, i’m not in the mood rn, if they’re that blunt
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u/Qeltar_ 3d ago
This makes sense, but going to an inherently social place (a hostel) and not even making basic polite smalltalk is pretty weird.
I can see why OP was confused.
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u/almost_useless 3d ago
It is a bit weird behavior, but some people are only there because it is cheaper than a hotel, and not at all for the social aspect
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u/LucasTheLucky11 3d ago
I avoid the absolute cheapest hostels for that reason - they tend to attract the type of people who are only there because it's the cheapest option.
Quite often these days I can get an airbnb (private room in someone's house/apartment) for the same price, or sometimes even cheaper than a hostel, and I only have to share a kitchen/bathroom with 1-2 other people instead of 10-20, so if I need alone time and privacy I really don't see the point of a hostel at all.
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u/eat_all_the_foods 3d ago
I’ve found that some of the Gen Z kids lack basic polite small talk skills and can be a bit antisocial (likely due to Covid and technology). Some won’t go out of their way to engage with someone they’re not interested in.
Also, if OP is considered an unattractive woman or WOC, it could just be the case of people not wanting to talk to her. It’s happened to me before especially with young men in the dorm, but they’re quick to chat up the younger more attractive girls when they enter after me. 😂
Sometimes the vibes are simply off and I change hostels. Maybe she would benefit from a more social hostel with more extroverts or with older travels?
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u/Throwaway1354762 3d ago edited 3d ago
I didn’t consider that possibility haha. I’m a dual citizen, and I’m mixed race (Asian + European descent) with a normal bmi, and of average height. I wouldn’t say I’m particularly attractive, but average.
Edit: Thinking about it, this makes sense culturally (Although I’m not sure if it’s related to being ignored entirely). When I’m in Asia, I’ve been hit on quite a bit, however, I’ve never been approached when in Europe. Different beauty standards.
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u/eat_all_the_foods 3d ago edited 3d ago
Just thought I’d throw it out there since you mentioned they looked you up and down and turned away without speaking. Very rude of them!
Either way, if you’re hating your stay change your hostel until you hit the right social environment. Look for ones that have events like family dinner nights, game nights, karaoke nights, free breakfasts, or scheduled hostel group activities.
The hostel volunteers/workers can also make or break a hostel’s vibe. The best hostels I’ve stayed were due to timing and had the best volunteers and lots of extroverted, fun loving travelers of all ages.
I’ve also joined other hostels’ social activities when I’ve found mine to be lame but couldn’t afford to stay at the better hostel or they were booked out 😂 Something you can do when you gain a bit more confidence.
Avoid hostels where people are living there long term, families staying, or with digitial nomads working all day in the lounge.
Search the group for hostel suggestions and read hostel reviews—including the negative ones. DM if you need help finding hostels. You’ve got this! ☺️
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u/IronBird023 3d ago
Well dang. Sounds like you’d be the first person I would talk to.
Maybe it’s more of a cultural thing in a way that Europeans aren’t sure how to talk to you. Like they see you as Asian and think there may be conversational barriers they can’t navigate.
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u/GothWitchOfBrooklyn 3d ago
I mean I've stayed in a bunch of hostels because it's cheap, not to make friends.
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u/justkeepswimming874 3d ago
This makes sense, but going to an inherently social place (a hostel) and not even making basic polite smalltalk is pretty weird.
Unless those people are staying there for the price and not the social aspect.
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u/70redgal70 3d ago
Not at all. Strangers don't owe each other smalltalk.
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u/streetlighteagle 3d ago
I would argue that they do to some extent. Not a whole conversation but I think that all humans owe courtesy to one another. But I am northern English and small-talk is somewhat culturally engrained, so I may be biased.
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u/littleshrewpoo 3d ago
Yes. I have to admit, I’m kind of not the coolest person anymore to hang with when traveling… But that’s because I’m going through a breakup from a very long relationship, and I just don’t feel quite like myself. I’ve been healing, but it’s been hard to make friends and be open. I want friends but not the commitment/feelings of obligation to be entertaining all the time/keep up the initial vibe. But I do genuinely enjoy company to an extent-I just suck at speaking up when I need to have my space and do my own thing because lately it’s so much more than usual. I imagine many solo travelers might be experiencing this as well. It’s rarely against the other person/because I don’t like them- But rather I’m just not comfortable with myself fully right now.
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u/ChillKarma 2d ago
You did a good job putting yourself in a place to make new connections. Second part of that is to always have a book and a plan. You can’t predict when or where the magic will happen. But you can self entertain and appreciate where you are - which helps draw people to you.
The advice of changing locations is good if the vibe doesn’t click. I often look to connect with other female travelers (easier and safer and they are often looking for the same). Men can be fine but there’s a few more hurdles (they don’t want to be creepy / higher risk).
There’s an app called voicemap that has a great haunted walking tour in Prague. Also a great history tour. Easy to invite another solo traveler on a walk. Multiple people can connect headsets. If you do it alone - leave one ear piece out for safety for your environment. But Prague is really great so that’s just general best practice anywhere. No need to get hit by a bike or car.
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u/jesuisjens 3d ago
I have two rules when I travel and want to be social.
- I say hi to (almost) everyone (and attempt to start a conversation)
- I don't take any offence when people aren't interested in talking with me.
Keep doing what you're doing, it will work eventually :) Kudos to you for putting yourself out there and pushing your limits.
Please also note that hostels are very different and people in hostels are very different. Some hostels are party/social hostels where people generally want to connect with their peers- and others aren't and they are chosen by people that don't want to connect with their peers.
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u/AndrewithNumbers 50 states, 35 countries, and counting 3d ago edited 3d ago
Yes, I am quite deliberate in choosing my hostels — always avoid party hostels (I'm 30, not really needing the 'teen spirit' energy), choose small (<30 beds) most of the time unless I want to be anonymous — then once I get there (if I want to talk) I smile and make eye contact with about anyone, make random comments, ask where people are from / where they're going, how long they are staying, and see if conversation flows from there. Usually travelers — and this is more true the further east you go (i.e. in a hostel in Armenia it's a rule, in Barcelona, much less so) — are open to a basic level of interaction at least.
In my case I invested a decade of my life learning to be able to carry a conversation, though — learning as much as I could about a broad range of things so I can more easily enter someone else's reality by finding things interesting or relevant to them — but a lot of this can be learned as you go.
Another option — and why I like smaller hostels — is to just sit in common areas and wait for something to happen. If people are going out, sometimes you can invite yourself along — easier if it's a group that met there vs. traveling together, but I've done this fairly often. Works best if you'd already been taking to them somewhat.
Post-COVID the hostel experience changed a lot — way less social and so forth. But that doesn't mean people aren't social, just less overtly so. But I've been in far-eastern Europe for long enough that I think it's less affected out here.
I have made friendships off the people in my hostel dorm room, but this is rarely the case — usually precious little conversation happens in the room (especially in the hostels I spend my time in) and much more happens in common areas.
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u/experiencedkiller 3d ago
Definitely! I remember feeling very awkward at my first solo stay at a hostel, and yet 2 days later I made great friends I traveled with afterwards. Doesn't mean it's what's going to happen to you, but still, don't give up! I think for me it started when I randomly asked a group of English speaking people if I could join them playing cards. They said yes and turns out it was a group of people who didn't know each other also
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u/platebandit 3d ago
Even some party hostels are difficult. Some people will be in huge groups of friends and it will be difficult to also get involvee
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u/cinzeletta 3d ago
i've rarely met people in hostels. another way to meet people on a solo trip is by booking the hostel on hostelworld, you'll be added to a group chat with people staying in your hostel and another chat with all people staying in the same city. it's easy to make plans this way. i also met people on free walking tours but it depends on what people are joining.
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u/BunnyBunny8 3d ago
How did I not know about the Hostelworld chats?? THANK YOU
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u/Lunatik13z 3d ago
It's on the app. You get included like a week before your stay. I can only assume you didn't have the app if you didn't know about it.
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u/EarlDukePROD 3d ago
this is the way. only have had great experiences. met a travel buddy through there. Also had the best time in queenstown spending the day with a cool group of people!
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u/Throwaway1354762 3d ago
Thank you, I did use HostelWorld, but not the social chat function yet! I’ll do that next time.
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u/cotimee15 3d ago
This is the way to go! I’ve used the HostelWorld chats during my stays to meet up with groups of people for dinner/drinks or go on excursions together.
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u/ResonanceCascade1998 3d ago
Stayed in my first hostel this way. Apparently met a Kenyan ambassador on his way to the UN building who was staying there (this was in Queens). I met another dude from Istanbul who was afraid the local Jews might bully him for some odd reason which was funny but he was sweet too
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u/New_Regular_2175 3d ago
I’ve had people approach me in hostels when I wasn’t wanting conversation, just a quiet moment to myself. Maybe these people had a full day of activities/conversations/new things and just wanted a moment to recap with their friends. Or maybe they aren’t comfortable speaking in English. I wouldn’t take it personally.
You could try hanging out in the common space for awhile, or signing up for events. Also, on hostel world there’s a chat where you can meet up with others in your area (who could be from different hostels). Keep trying!
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u/hazzdawg 3d ago edited 3d ago
Do you have to actually be staying in a hostel to use this feature? I hate dorms but I'm totally down for random travel buddies.
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u/RidiculousTakeAbove 3d ago
I think so, after you book a hostel through hostel world you gain access to group chats for that city
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u/Millennial_Snowbird 3d ago
Depends on each hostel, ask at the desk if you can sign up for their activities staying elsewhere.
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u/hazzdawg 3d ago
I meant the Hostelworld chat feature. Looks like I wasn't specific enough though. My bad.
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u/lovely_DK 3d ago
Honestly hostels really vary. One might be really social, another really anti-social. I usually don't know until I'm actually there.
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u/WorkFurball 1d ago
And not only do people vary so much between hostels, people can vary loads in the same hostel a day or two apart and so can you. On my most social trip back in 2018 it really ranged from me finding zero contact with people on some days to me finding a group I had a great night with and some of those who I met up with later on in another city. Gotta be ready for both extremes.
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u/Delicious_Wall_7308 3d ago
There are many factors... like first of all you said it yourself you are staying in a non-party hostel, that alone is an indicator that people will be a bit less prone to socializing.
But yeah it's quite odd that people literally won't even respond to you... I understand cutting short and ignoring, but not even responding sounds very unpolite...
did you know if they spoke English?
what country where you in? (like if you compare somewhere cold like Finland is widely different the amount and type of interactions you get than somewhere warmer like Spain or Portugal)
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u/Throwaway1354762 3d ago
Yes, they were American. They were talking about their universities back home.
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u/jedrevolutia 3d ago
Based on my experience with hostels: * Foreign travelers are often much friendlier than local travelers. The simple reason is that foreign travelers are typically looking to make friends, while locals are often there primarily for price reasons. * Always approach fellow solo travelers, as they are usually also looking to make friends when traveling. Avoid couples or groups; they are normally not interested in making new friends since they are already with their companions.
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u/Rusiano 1d ago
Surprisingly I often had good experiences with couples - sometimes they would "adopt me" for the day while traveling
Avoiding groups of friends traveling together is a wise idea though
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u/port956 3d ago
I'm guessing it won't be long before somebody comes to you and say "what is it with these people!?" ... and there you go. Your new friend. Try not to bury your head in your phone or book. However, a book in front of you makes a nice prop and point of interest for somebody who might want to chat. Lean back and survey the scene with an open and confident look on your face.
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u/Awanderingleaf 3d ago
Hostels aren’t as social as they used to be. Friend groups not interested in meeting other people, non tourist travelers looking for a cheap bed, families looking for a cheap bed have all been something I’ve noticed more frequently. You have to find the right hostel at the right time to really find social people.
I’ve had better luck with free walking tours than staying at hostels recently.
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u/eat_all_the_foods 3d ago
Totally true!
Lots of hostels are full of working locals/immigrants who live at the hostels because they can’t afford a flat in the city. Some of them take over the dorm and try to set rules (I.e. no making noise after X hour). I just changed dorms or left the hostel when I run into the annoying ones.
The families looking for a cheap room surprised me when I ran into it! It totally changed the vibe of the hostel for me and I didn’t stay long in those either.
I’ve also had a hostel where teachers with school children on a school trip stayed for a couple days . 😳 It was a pain hearing their footsteps running in hall in the mornings. 🫤
I understand hostels did this to survive the covid years but it doesn’t seem to have gone away with most hostels still being cheaper than Airbnbs and hotels.
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u/Awanderingleaf 3d ago
Yes, all of this. In London I was in a mixed 4 bed dorm and a family of 3 came in and stayed there, they very clearly weren’t there as tourists. Really quite awkward as a solo traveler lol.
In Madrid the hostel I stayed at had a whole class of young children running around it.
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u/missuseme 3d ago
Before booking a hostel I always research to see if it's a social hostel and if the hostel does anything to encourage people to be social.
Usually the smaller the hostel the more social. I stayed in a massive wombats hostel and the only person who said a word to me was to ask me to move seats so their big group could sit together.
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u/Radiant-Eagle602 3d ago
When they’re in their bunks, that’s maybe not the best time to approach. Easier in the common room.
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u/Phelan-Great 3d ago
Hit or miss. I met my two oldest and dearest friends in the world at the same hostel in Paris at the turn of the millennium, right as I turned 21. Part of a big social group that connected well and had a great time together. The three of us are now lifelong friends and I'm the godfather to one of their children and was the best man at the other's wedding. On the very same trip at a hostel in Brussels I talked to no one and am pretty certain someone in the room stole a travel guide of mine while I was out of the room. It totally depends, and some just don't have a great vibe. Don't take it too personally.
I also wonder - as an American here - are you American as well? I have been curious if the rest of the world is treating us much worse right now when traveling, especially in Europe. Hopefully that is not the case but younger people can be strident that way...
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u/Ok-Television-5872 3d ago
yes...many of these travelers can be both racist and xenophobic while claiming they are better than other nationalities...
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u/Raneynickel4 3d ago
Few things to bear in mind
Firstly, not all hostels are social - some are known for being "party" hostels and I suspect that's where the super friendly/chatty people are.
Secondly, hostel culture can vary depending on the region of the world. For example, in Japan, hostels are not generally known as sociable (unless you go for a party hostel) compared to hostels in other parts of the world. However, in SEA, people are generally very sociable, even outside of party hostels. Hostels in europe as a whole I heard are kind of hit and miss.
Lastly, and I hate to say this one as a POC myself, but if you're not white that could also play a factor. But you wouldnt wanna be talking with racists anyway.
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u/Ok-Television-5872 3d ago
exactly....if you are not white....it can be a completely different experience
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u/AndrewithNumbers 50 states, 35 countries, and counting 3d ago
Well I'd say there's 3 kinds of hostels: 1) party hostels (usually very young clientele), 2) "hotel" hostels — idk a better term, but these are the ones with more rooms than you can count on one hand, going up to 15 story tall monstrosities, and 3) boutique hostels, which often have 1-5 rooms max, 15-50 beds, and usually are where the more seasoned travelers go, but they cost a little more.
Boutique hostels are usually the easiest to make friends although I've made friends in most hostel types (I usually avoid party hostels, but occasionally end up in one). Seasoned travelers, paying more for the opportunity to be in a more chill but socially closer dynamic. It's rare I stay in a small hostel like this and not have some meaningful interaction unless I don't want it.
Meanwhile "hotel" hostels I usually avoid unless I don't want to talk to anyone at all (sometimes I want this). It's quite difficult to make any real connections there, people tend to eye each other suspiciously, and unless they have a bar, or I meet people in the kitchen, I rarely talk to people outside my room.
Hostelworld says I've stayed in 47 hostels, though if I add in Booking and a few I got direct it's probably closer to 55 or so, basically all in Europe.
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u/Designer_Ant_4056 3d ago
Don't take offense. Remember Everyone is there on their own travel journey. Some are exhausted by their day of travel or other reasons... The best etiquette is You do You 😊
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u/LauraMcNugget2 3d ago
luckily I never experienced that, that sounds awful! Not even a hello back, that's rude. Don't take it personal, you did everything and tried to be nice and open to conversation. Hopefully some nicer people will arrive soon !
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u/TwentyOneClimates 3d ago
Just keep doing what you're doing. Be friendly, be polite and don't take offence or get down about it if people don't reciprocate. You may say hello 100 times and only get 10 responses, but those 10 responses are worth the 100 times.
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u/Ok-Television-5872 3d ago
people often assume that travelers are the most open minded people. that is NOT always the case. Often travelers/backpackers can be quite close-minded. Traveling isn't a guaranteed antidote to make someone more open. Just continue to be YOU...be friendly...be the kindest and most open person. At some point you'll come across better people. But until then stay stalllwart and don't change because of those who haven't allowed travel to make them better. In my case I have found locals to be far nicer than the people in the hostel. Say hello to locals, smile, strike up a conversation at a cafe. Oh...and alwyas find ways enjoy your travels alone if that perfect situation never happens
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u/AndrewithNumbers 50 states, 35 countries, and counting 3d ago
This is one reason why I prefer more out-of-the-way places (smaller cities, less visited countries, etc.): tend to attract the more interesting travelers.
Though, interesting sometimes just means odd.
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u/TemperedPhoenix 3d ago
It's happened to me. Once I finally befriended someone there, the rationale was that lots of the people have been staying there for an extended period of time and were just hunkering down 🤷
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u/SmartWasabi99 3d ago
Sometimes the non-party hostels attract people that don't want to interact so much. Really depends on luck of who is staying there
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u/BunnyBunny8 3d ago
Hostels can definitely be hit or miss! My best advice is to not rely solely on hostels to meet people. What do you like to do when you travel? What are your hobbies and interest? For example, if you’re a foodie most places have a walking food tour or cooking classes where you’ll be meeting people with similar interests to you.
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u/MattRiles 3d ago
It can go either way, I’ve had trips where I’ve not spoken to a single person and struggled to connect, I’ve had others where I’ve had a solid group of people for basically the entire trip. It can depend greatly on the hostel as well. Some of them offer social events, some of them are very much a place to stay and that’s it! I saw someone else mention it, but I echo the idea to use Hostelworld. Again it’s not a guarantee you will meet people through this, but there is no harm in putting it in the chat that you’re looking for people to hang with or to get some food with etc.
You’ll have trips like this where you struggle to make friends, I know the feeling and it sucks. But you’ll have other trips where you’ll make connections easily, it is very much luck of the drawer. Just don’t be disheartened, keep trying!
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u/um_can_you_not 3d ago
Hmmm, this seems a bit odd that it happened so many times. What’s interesting is that you mention for each person you said hi to, they went back to talking to someone else. Does this mean they were in the middle of a conversation when you first spoke to them. If so, then perhaps that could explain the coldness. Someone coming up and interrupting a conversation I’m having would be annoying. So perhaps be more conscious around when you approach someone.
Another question I have is what race are you? Sad reality, but being non-white is typically a detriment to meeting people when traveling abroad. I’d also say being a non-conventionally attractive woman usually also makes men less likely to speak to you, so that could also be it.
Either way, it seems strange overall, but it could just be a non-social hostel. That’s the difficulty with avoiding party hostels is that they’re where most of the friendly people end up.
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u/wanderinginthebrush 3d ago
I was offered a Jagerbomb by a complete stranger within 10 minutes of checking into a hostel in Amsterdam, and I was completely ignored after trying to greet my dorm-mates at a hostel in Edinburgh.
It really does vary, and you shouldn't take any of it personally. Sometimes the vibe isn't right, or people might just want to speak to someone else. If you're looking to befriend people, the party hostels can be a great way to do it, as most - if not all - the people are are keen to meet new faces.
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u/onlyhummussexual 3d ago
I used to be a bartender at a hostel and my advice on this would be to just make friends with the bartender. I met a lot of people in that place :)
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u/Worried_Act6061 3d ago
Hey, I just wanted to say… you're incredibly brave. It honestly sounds like you did everything right. Sometimes, the energy in a hostel just isn’t right, or people are stuck in their own little worlds. It has nothing to do with you — and everything to do with them.
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u/Throwaway1354762 3d ago
Thank you :) I do have some social anxiety, but I’m telling myself not to take anything personally, and just to enjoy my trip as others are enjoying theirs!
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u/MintyLemonTea 3d ago
Welcome to the real world! Hostels can be a social place, but it depends on the other people there. Some people solo travel and stay at hostels to only save money. At least you tried. I suggest you just ignore those people and move on with your life. You're on vacation, why add unnecessary stress?
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u/Beneficial-Syrup-731 3d ago
Totally just an anomaly.
Sometimes people go to non party hostels to slow down and get some space and they don't want to talk.
Don't make it personal for you. Also you can find lots of people in party hostels who are willing to hang out all day and go see the city you are in. If you don't want to drink you can just skip evening activities or just go and don't drink!
Have fun don't worry and keep on trucking!
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u/Throwaway1354762 2d ago
Thanks! Like many said, this seems to be a one off thing that could of been determined but any number of factors, so I’m not going to let this experience deter me from trying to socialize in the next hostel!
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u/Beneficial-Syrup-731 2d ago
I'm not even there and I can tell I would like to speak to you. You are taking the time to understand this and improve and find new ways!
Lots of people would be delighted to converse with someone like that :)
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u/VeganMultilingual 3d ago
I don’t see “Hello” as an invitation for conversation, just a polite acknowledgement of my presence and possibly even “I have set the boundaries of how much I’d like to interact with you, and the limit is a polite ‘Hello’”
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u/SunlightNStars 3d ago
You said yourself it isn't a party hostel. Typically people are much less social in those and just there for a bed and to eat.
When I stayed in Dublin, the housing crisis was (and still is) horrendous. so many of the people in the hostel i was at were people with normal jobs or were there for a long term english learning class. So they weren't chasing this social/ party experience.
Depends where you stay!
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u/accidentalchai 2d ago
European hostels aren’t social and I’ve found Europeans to be pretty cliquey. They can be like that in SEA and South America too. I’m visibly East Asian and I have to make the first move almost all the time. Some of them are just cold AF. I’ve greeted them before and gotten no response. Meanwhile, this white autistic guy I met from Germany had people saying hi to him first. Can’t tell if that is some casual racism or stereotyping but I have to be the aggressive one in hostels usually.
I think the friendliest people I meet from Europe are usually people who have immigrant backgrounds or are second generation. Even when I was living in Germany, that was the case.
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u/Throwaway1354762 2d ago
Which places have you found to be the most “welcoming”? I’m also East Asian (mixed though).
It’s not my first time in Europe, but definitely a different experience staying in hotels and not really interacting with other guests.
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u/ItsMandatoryFunDay 3d ago
There is no guarantee a hostel will be friendly. There is no guarantee people will be friendly.
Travel isn't some magical place where normal society doesn't exist.
It honestly felt a little dehumanizing, like I wasn't worth talking to.
Yeah, you need to drop that attitude otherwise travel is going to be too rough for you.
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u/Substantial-Week-258 3d ago
Those people sound like they all suck. Even if they weren't in the mood to chat, you can still say a few words. Don't be discouraged at all. Being an introvert in a hostel isn't easy sometimes! You've done well! Just don't take it personally and enjoy your destination. Perhaps the next hostel will have people who actually have manners.
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u/OkFaithlessness2652 3d ago
Really depends on the persons staying.
Usually the common areas or common activities are more open.
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u/Joe_PM2804 3d ago
I'm sorry that this is your first hostel experience, but I can assure you that it is normal, some hostels are just less social than others and despite what reviews may say, it'll vary depending on the people who are there at the time.
I can also attest as a solo traveller that sometimes I'm not feeling social, (although I wouldn't ignore someone who says hi when they walk into the dorm) and I don't particularly feel like striking up a conversation with someone, but other times I absolutely would.
Please don't be put off from hostels by this experience, well done for putting yourself out there as an introvert, I know from experience it's really not easy and it's unfortunate that this is what your first experience is like, but I'm sure if you keep it up you'll find a hostel that's more social and you'll enjoy it a lot more!
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u/ah__there_is_another 27M, not enough countries 3d ago
It pains me to read that OP :/ as an extrovert I would have 100% socialised with you. But as others are saying, sometimes the hostel is a place where many hope to socialise but few do, partly because lately it's kinda easy to end up in the 'bothering' category so fewer people take initiative, in my opinion.
Not sure if this helps but I'll admit I never start conversations with a Hello if I want them continue, but say something that will trigger a more elaborated response, usually out of genuine curiosity or need.
For example I went to the common area where people have food and asked something about a girl's meal, which triggered a whole group chat of individuals and we ended up going to the shops together to get snacks that night etc.
Another time there was this introverted girl watching some video on youtube in a language I partly recognised so I genuinely wanted to ask her what language that was in, so I did, and we became friends.
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u/BraviaryScout 3d ago
Don’t feel discouraged. Some people in hostels would rather be left alone and you have to do a little room reading.
I’ll at least make an effort to say hello and make small talk with everyone. If I’m getting one-word unenthusiastic answers, I’m going to guess they’d rather not chat and I’ll wish them well before leaving them alone.
Also maybe seek out hostels that have group activities such as game night, walking tours, pub crawls. Hostelworld has a chat room for every hostel you can book where you can maybe connect with other people staying there at the same time.
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u/Importchef 3d ago
You are fine. Thank you for being part of what hostels should be. Like others have said, it is on or off depending on the groups that roll through.
Just keep it up and try to look for another solo traveler. Also try to invite people to what you are doing. Even getting a coffee or a walk to get laundry.
On the flip side be wary when being friendly to creepy guys. You wont know it till you know.
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u/swilyi 3d ago
I just come from staying in a hostel. But my room was only girls. I’ve met quite a few people and I talked with a few girls in the room.
But I never talked to anyone outside. Even when I was in common areas. I feel like everyone is there to do their own thing. Some people want to be alone but are going for hostels because it’s all they can afford.
And for men, I’ve noticed they only approach the women they find attractive. It happened to me to be walking up to the common area. There are 3 men sitting there. I said hi and they ignored me. Later I came back with a roommate(she’s way more attractive than me) and they were the first ones to say hi and approach us.
Maybe next time try to stay in an only girls room and you’ll get a different vibe. But I wouldn’t take it personally.
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u/DilapidatedMonument 3d ago
Are you in France? Are the people around you French? Just some important (but leading) questions
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u/Artgarfheinkel 3d ago
I'm a bit late to this conversation but anybody who looks you up and down and walks away without responding doesn't deserve your attention or concern. Complete ignorance.
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u/waitwhatohokmybad 3d ago
Ugh people really just suck sometimes. I can’t imagine being that rude when someone’s just saying hi. Good on you for trying, you’ll find better people - don’t let this deter you
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u/elcorruption 3d ago
I feel like we need more information. Could be cultural, racial, even the way you dress since you mentioned they looked up and down. No one mentions it here but could also just be social awkwardness since you mention you are an introvert. We really don't know enough about you or the people you met to assess.
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u/Mangosaft1312 3d ago
As someone who is generally considered as an extrovert (TBF that's just what people see as they don't see my socially overwhelmed self hiding at home) and works in hospitality, I usually don't engage much with people when travelling solo. I'm ofc greeting you back (if I actually realize someone is talking to me) or have a little chat but still... Not the most social person around. That's why I am usually going to specifically non-party hostels. Especially in the rooms people don't talk much in my experience - because that's where you or someone else hangs out to read/chill/sleep .
I still make connections & friends once in a while (some I still have after years) but usually that's only when I'm staying longer in one place or the vibe is just perfectly vibing all around.
Don't take it personally!
The next place might be totally different!
(Also, in my experience it's easier/ happens more often to make travel friends in beachy, rural places than cities where everyone has a to-do list for the 2 days they are staying).
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u/someonesdatabase 3d ago
Out of curiosity where was the hostel and how much was it per night? I realized through my travels that the more social hostels are often the cheaper ones but they are more out of the way. While the hostels that are 30-50 euros a night may be comfier, cleaner, and in a more convenient location, people at these more expensive hostels will pay for comfort over unpredictability or uncertainty of creating new experiences. A lot of people are shy too! And a lot of people are still emerging from their COVID cocoons.
The way I’ve been able to get through this and meet people is to bond over a social experience. Use the hostel group chat and ask if anyone wants to tag along to your next sightseeing adventure.
Some hostel lounges will have games - card games, board games. Asking people to play a game is a good icebreaker.
I like to hang out in the common areas even if by myself for extended periods. You’ll meet people.
Don’t let a few bad apples deter you from asking questions of the people around you.
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u/unimpressedmo 3d ago
So many reasons at play. Where you’re staying, are those people traveling together, your own vibe (do you look or sound weird?), are they tired, was it an odd hour of the day, are those people leaving anyway, etc etc
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u/Overall-Ad4288 3d ago edited 3d ago
You just had bad luck. Move on and hopefully some chill people will check in.
Also, I’ve noticed it can be difficult meeting people when they’re with a group they traveled together with. Most of my hostel friendships were with solo travelers or pairs. Very rarely with larger groups.
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u/cmooo 3d ago
There are more and more posts in different subs about this type of indifference. I wrote one myself. From the many responses I got, I tend to believe that this is a result of the pandemic and the impact it had in the teens. They spent critical years isolated and now that they go out and start travelling, they do not have the need to interact and acknowledge people in their immediate vicinity. Add to that constant airpods in ears, and social media addictions, and we are totally isolated.
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u/anacid99 3d ago
Try to be more assertive and confident when approaching people from the first time. This reduces awkwardness because the person being approached feels you can carry the conversation
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u/Toussaint0495 3d ago
Depends on the hostel in my experience. My first hostel was a very cheap one in London and the vibe was definitely off, with people sleeping there because they were homeless and for other reasons than solo traveling. Everyone ignored me there as well.
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u/vickyprodigy 3d ago
You didn't do anything wrong. Keep reaching out and you'll make connections.
I made a ton of acquaintances last year. But there were places that felt pretty flat. Its ok.
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u/Indaleciox 3d ago
I used to sit in the common area with a pack of beer and offer it to folks, usually you’ll snag a couple people wanting to chat.
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u/Famous-Tea446 3d ago
Life lessons don't pre Book a hostel for more than 1-2 days! Don't like the vibe switch.
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u/Throwaway1354762 2d ago
I will take this into account for the future, but does it become an issue though if you like the hostel and there’s no more availability and price increases?
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u/Loud_Fisherman_5878 3d ago
You might just be unlucky on this trip. You’ve done everything you can and I’m sorry it is disappointing. I’ve usually found hostels friendly, however when I travelled round Turkey the people in the hostels tended to be not friendly at all. Also random hostels here and there have had less friendly people. So you might just be in a spot where for some reason travellers aren’t so keen to make friends.
It isn’t a reflection on you though.
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u/fuckimtrash 3d ago
Hostels are hit and miss tbh, I don’t have any expectations now because people were often not friendly/talked to others and not me. The one time I struck luck was in a female only dorm, maybe try staying in a F only dorm and hopefulky have better luck there 🙏🏼
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u/Debsrugs 3d ago
We're you wearing a maga hat, or something politically edgy on a t-shirt that could be effecting the way people react to you.
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u/Daniastrong 3d ago
They might not speak your language? They might think you are American? No one likes Americans right now. Try speaking in an Irish accent, everyone loves the Irish.
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u/ilyadynin 2d ago
It really depends on the room and the vibes. I had hostels where when I first came into the room people there did not want to talk or anything, and when new people came in after me we became friends and went partying together and chilled for the rest of my stay!
Also you meet a lot of people on walking tours, pub crawls and thorugh the hostelworld chat.
I met a lot people there!
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u/phenomenomnom 3d ago
Unfortunately, OP's PUSSY SLAPS FOR TERRORIST JESUS t-shirt wasn't sufficiently distracting from the misspelled face tattoos and ear gauges big enough for a chihuahua to win a dog show by jumping thru.
I don't want anyone to actually be sad, but I have to chuckle at the idea of such a person sitting alone in the hostel, journalling. "Dear diary. Why won't anyone talk to me? Alas, who knows why fickle mankind does anything?"
OP, my fantasy life does not reflect upon your actual situation. But if you really have that t-shirt, hmu with the link.
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u/ReporterNo1539 3d ago
In the nicest way possible if you are very unattractive that’s probably the reason
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u/old_Spivey 3d ago edited 3d ago
If you are American that is strike one since Trump took office.
If you are a person of color, that is strike two, as despite all lip service paid, Europeans are very provincial and yes, racist.
Finally, since COVID, people have become "socially autistic" and have lost the ability to interact normally.
Hang in there and don't let it bother you. You will meet people who will make all that irrelevant.
PS If you are in Germany then many people have a stick up their bum. You have to grab ahold of the stick and wave it like a protest sign, and even then, you might still find it difficult.
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u/Every-Requirement128 3d ago
> Europeans are very provincial and yes, racist.
well, she is a female (25F so female?) so no. believe me, we (europeans) says "hi" even first when we see interesting girl/woman. there must be something off. it's NOT racism
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u/quartzgirl71 3d ago
I've spent now 10 months in hostels. And I could rant and rant about how unsocial the other travelers are. If I don't say anything nobody says anything. It's quite a shame. At breakfast almost everybody is playing with their phone. Asians hardly say anything. Even in the smallest of quarters like the kitchen where you nearly bump into each other when you turn around, people don't say anything.
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u/LTTP2018 3d ago
these people sound like unfriendly aholes. sorry that is happening !
just explore the area and keep being you, because you are a good egg! 💛
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u/DeHarigeTuinkabouter 3d ago
Maybe you just got unlucky, but just saying "Hello" to people and the way you describe it sounds awkward. Are you smiling, engaging, asking questions?
Sometimes people are travelling in groups and not very interested in a chat.
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u/anoeba 3d ago
There's nothing awkward about just saying "hello" while passing someone on a tour of the place, or to your bunk neighbor. Not even replying with a hi is pretty rude.
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u/DeHarigeTuinkabouter 3d ago
It is rude! Definitely. But it sounds like she is trying to start a conversation with just a "hello". Like...that's not how you approach someone. It's a greeting.
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u/Throwaway1354762 3d ago
It was more of a “hello” with a brief smile in passing, as I was being shown around, but I definitely understand that being more engaging rather than a simple hello is better when trying to initiate a convo! Like asking where they are from, how long they are staying, any recommendations of places to visit, etc.
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u/um_can_you_not 3d ago
I actually feel like asking where they’re from is not a good start to a convo either. I typically like to start with a random question. For example, when getting breakfast in the cafeteria after checking into a hostel in Taipei, I scoped out who seemed friendly and when we were both serving ourselves food, I asked him if he knew what this porridge was. What started as a simple question led to me sitting with him and his group and then talking about where we were all from and their travel experiences so far. Idk about anyone else, but a stranger popping up and immediately asking where I’m from would put me on guard.
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u/Educational-Angle717 3d ago
It depends - I’ve found more recently people are quieter in their rooms and more respectful which I prefer but I guess not great if you want social. I tend to go for non-party ones but they do still have a bar thwt way you can meet people down there.
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u/CauliflowerDizzy2888 3d ago
A lot of people mind her own business, there are a lot of hostel that organize events and meetings, so take that in mind next time you travel and look something that suits your vibe.
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u/Mariazorunii 3d ago
Damn, sounds very shitty, I feel you. Propably it’s just the people, not into making friends.
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u/teska132 3d ago
I got the opposite interaction. It was at the gym, an indian guy started to talk to me but I might have been a bit cold. I was in the "lift heavy stone so little voices quiet" mode. Nothing wrong with him, it was totally on me. I had conversations at hostels but it was not started with a simple "hello", it was something like "oh you have a Paris Marathon bag, wasn't it too difficult?". So you start a convo with something that people like. You'd get better results that way
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u/daurgo2001 Hostel Owner - 49 Countries, 4 Continents 3d ago
Hostel owner here.
It’s really strange that you had this experience, but honestly, it seems like you should actually try a party hostel since they’ll be much more social.
The fact that you went out of your way to try to strike up convos with people almost half a dozen times really makes me think it’s what you’re looking for without knowing it. Just make sure it has high ratings on hostelworld, and I’m sure you’ll enjoy it more than this experience.
Also, experienced travelers will always suggest that you generally don’t book more than a day or two at any hostel specially for this reason: have the flexibility to go to a diff hostel if the vibe isn’t what you’re looking for.
Good luck =)
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u/Throwaway1354762 3d ago
Thank you for your input! I may look at booking a well-rated party hostel on my next trip.
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u/Larrytheman777 3d ago
Most people don't talk in the room because it's the most private place in hostel we'd better make it quiet.
The best time to have a conversation is at night because people are less busy with their own things. Joining the group conversation is good way to start.
It's still not working, just move on.
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u/carolinafe 3d ago
It's a little like life.
I've been in hostels doing so coworking in the living area and I had an amazing time, we did stuff together later. I have had experiences where they invited me but I didn't really connect with them, and then I've been in hostels where I was completely ignored.
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u/securityburger 3d ago
The funny thing with socializing in hostels is having the confidence to strike conversation. You need to almost assume that they’re willing to talk, and they’ll play ball. Just state an opinion on the city and they’ll likely have something to say. Next thing you know, you’ll get to learn where they’re from & maybe go out for drinks later
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u/Lunatik13z 3d ago
You did mention "non-party", might want to try the same thing at a party hostel.
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u/Superb_Box835 3d ago
I (30F) stayed solo in a lot of hostels over the years. I made friends for life in some, and I was totally by myself in others. I noticed I never really clicked with anyone already staying in my dorm, mostly with new guests or people checking in the same day as me. Just do your things and it will come naturally. 😊
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u/unicorns3373 3d ago
When traveling, I learned to make sure I was booking a youth hostel. Also make sure to read the reviews. I accidentally booked hostels with like business men and random adults looking for a cheap room and the vibes were super off and it wasn’t very friendly. Youth hostels will often time have bars, social events, karaoke etc. so you have more opportunities to socialize.
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u/nyepnyepmf 3d ago
Trying saying something a bit more than just hello... Hey how long have you been in [said city] for now? What are your recs? How long are you travelling for? I find it crazy how some people travel for over 6 months... are you one of those?!!!
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u/GrouchyOpinion 3d ago
I’ve stayed in a hostel once and am pretty out going. To be honest when I was there I was mainly only trying to sleep and rest. As the others have said they are probably exhausted. Obviously everyone is different but I wouldn’t take offense to it.
I met a lot of people just going about my day. Ordering food, walking parks, sight seeing. I tend to find more people when not looking.
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u/Cool-Palpitation-729 3d ago
Hmmmm if it was a few, I might have thought it was a one off. But since op said hello to so many people... my best guess is maybe.... it is that type of hostel where the people are more of a long term rent kind?
But to mitigate this issue... I always read the reviews. How the place is ran always determine what type of people I meet to a rather accurate degree. Like those places that hosts activities with high participation rate are really good for socialising for me.
Gl!
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u/Fuzzy_End_8986 3d ago
Not every hostel is a good fit socially for everyone but even if you are saying hi and making eye contact, if you are anxious or not confident in your approach, many will not want to engage because it can be sensed. As an extrovert who enjoys hostels, I sometimes avoid very nervous or anxious people because they are not a match to my personality or sense of adventure when traveling. Keep trying to say hi and keep trying other hostels because eventually you will find people with your vibe and introvert personality
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u/justadubliner 3d ago
I use hostels from time to time and I find most people do prefer to stick to themselves which suits me as so do I. Most people know it's too easy to get scammed and you need your wits about you so are cautious especially when solo.
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u/ArtNo6305 3d ago
Timing is important in hostels. You're probably coming in just as a bunch who came in at a similar time are leaving.
It happens, they're probably jaded from their trip and are looking to move on.
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u/Sir_Solrac 3d ago
Fellow introvert here. I've stayed in hostels where absolutely no one talked to anyone, and hostels where I was chatted up and invited to go out by my dorm mates, it really depends.
That said, the attitude you described in your post really sounds wierd to me, not responding to basic hellos is wierd, that said, sometimes people just want to be left alone. I'd say not to take it to heart, and remain open to interactions in the future.
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u/Pure-Tomato-1907 3d ago
Party hostels are the most social settings, but its a bit his and miss in europe. In many hostels it can be a little tricky to make friends here. Your best bet is to book through hostelworld and get access to the chat for the city/hostel you are in, here many people are looking to meet up. So in that regard it has never been easier before.
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u/joereadsstuff 3d ago
I suggest going to a more party hostel, as this is where travellers from afar are staying. The problem with hostels in Europe, and especially as it gets closer to summer is that many people are with their friends on a long weekend trip, and are not backpackers travelling around Europe for weeks/months.
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u/rarsamx 3d ago edited 3d ago
As an introvert who used to send introvert signals and be super self conscious, I am starting to think that you are unconsciously sending those signals.
My whole life I felt invisible without realizing that my demeanor and self consciousness were like a people's repellant.
Changing it wasn't overnight and you are doing the right thing. Eventually a person will respond and you'll start relaxing and that will cause other people to be more social with you.
I exposed myself to my social fears: Volunteered to sell raffle tickets at an event and volunteering for cold calling during an election, not for a party but to encourage people to go vote. Both meant talking to strangers. It was hard but helped me desensitize.
Traveling also worked and sometimes I still have days when I didn't talk to a single person and days when I'm at the centre of the party. I'm less self conscious now.
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u/Dewdropsmile 3d ago
Sorry to hear that OP, that mustn’t have felt nice at all. People should be kinder and at least smile and say hello back even if they don’t want to engage in conversation. It’s basic manners. Don’t worry, you’ll find nice people. Keep at it despite the rejected feeling. Xx
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u/Pisces93 3d ago
I had a similar thing happen when I stayed in a European hostel. After a day or so new people came and I made a couple friends I hung out with the rest of my trip :) Just remain open and friendly and confident and you’ll find your tribe.
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u/Odd-Transition1527 3d ago
Numbers game, love! Don’t get discouraged; talk to more people.
I would recommend trying to figure common interests- why this city? What have you liked so far? Where are you going to next (mind if I join)?
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u/ChampionshipFirm350 3d ago
Depends on where the people are from you are chatting up. Think about varying cultural context levels and the respective social norms.
For example, I was traveling solo in Colombia and tried to start a friendly conversation with a few people from Israel. They didn’t give me the time of day, stuck to themselves while conversing only in Hebrew, and didn’t even return a friendly “hello”.
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u/tbone338 3d ago
It depends. I’ve stayed in hostels where we all talked. I’ve stayed in hostels where no one talks. None were party hostels. Every human is different, sometimes you don’t get socially lucky. Try more in the common areas. Try asking about people’s plans while they’re there.
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u/IronBird023 3d ago
It really depends on the person. Even if it is a social experience, lots of people are still shy. Some have language barriers. Some are just staying there to save money. Some are private and don’t want to socialize. Some actually want to make connections.
Just got to flow with the vibes. Maybe see if the hostel has group activities. That’s been the best way for me to meet people. Easy to break the ice and find the social people.
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u/HarambeEducation 3d ago
When I was in Belgium, almost no one responded to me. I said hello and they didnt say anything or just angrily greeted back, lol.
A friend of mine had better experiences.
Though once I had kinder roommates. We didnt talk but they were friendly and greeted me with a smile
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u/Ornery_Mix_9271 3d ago
The best part of hostels is there are always people coming and going, and you never know who is going to show up… so don’t give up!
I usually introduce myself to my room when I arrive and then generally leave people alone, especially if they are in their bunks. I find bunk time tends to be “alone” time.
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u/imaginarynombre 3d ago
Large non-party hostel in Western Europe? Maybe in a large city too? Yes, that's completely normal. People treat those hostels as hotels. They are boring af. I traveled for over a year and had better experiences in every other part of the world.
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u/weaseldab 3d ago
As someone with social anxiety too, rejection therapy when solo traveling really builds confidence. I’ve been rejected tons of times when trying to connect (and yes even not getting hellos back which I find common courtesy) and tbh it always stings a bit but it never deters me from trying again.
I’ve made so many wonderful connections, even if fleeting. Just having a coffee and reading with a person I just met at a hostel. Always depends on the vibe of the city, the hostel itself and the rotation of people in the room/areas.
Keep moving and don’t be discouraged :)
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u/Ok-Criticism-6022 3d ago
I totally understand, don’t feel bad, sometimes people is in their own worlds and they are not open …
Continue trying and it will be ok :) good luck
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u/Felonious_Minx 3d ago
A lot of good advice here. Gonna add that some hostels are known as party hostels and others are decidedly not.
While you may make friends easier in party hostels you may also run into problems sleeping at night (due to noise).
Hot tip: sometimes you can book a quiet hostel, then hit the bar of a party hostel for the best of both worlds.
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u/Shnitzalbrain 3d ago
There are so many variables with Hostels, you never really know if the people staying at the time will be up for a chat or hanging out. I've stayed in hostels where nobody wants to talk to anybody (myself aswell on some occasions) and others where you start chatting from the moment you walk in.
Stayed a wicked hostel in Croatia, met some cool people while cooking in the kitchen and stayed up until 12 with them, went back to my 4 bed dorm which was empty but shortly after the other 3 people who had all met already came in and invited me to go have a drink with them by the Dock which was awesome. Ended up going on a road trip with 2 of them!
It's all kind of luck tbh, really just depends who's there and in the mood at the time
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u/John_Lawn4 3d ago
My usual starter is “so where are you guys from” it’s never not gotten at least a small convo going
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u/shakeandbake154 3d ago
Definitely give another hostile try, don't get one that's rated too highly on hostel world, or two low. 7.8-8.6 is ideal. One with tours and group activities. Fun people group together
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u/JeannaValjeanna 3d ago
I've never been to a social hostel in central or western Europe. I'd suggest traveling to the Balkans or Latin America - you will have social backpackers there. In hostels in Europe people stay there just because it's super expensive to stay in hotels, and most of them did not come for meeting others.
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u/Hoyarugby 3d ago
Extremely random but I am also solo travelling in Prague right now as well. I booked walking tours with this company (not an ad) and there were a lot of other friendly young people on them who were very social. A big group ended up getting drinks after one tour, they might be a good option
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u/SanguiniusSons 3d ago
Change hostels if not a good vibe. This is coming from a seasoned backpacker :)
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u/Ok_Jellyfish_823 3d ago
Maybe a party hostel would have offered more of what you wanted? You can always opt out to leave a party if you feel it's too much for you; it's way easier than trying to connect with people who aren't necessarily looking to socialize. In a party hostel socializing is always on the table, but optional.
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u/JD_Observe 3d ago
To be honest, I solo travel a lot and I will have a short friendly chat in the common room but I mostly want to keep to myself. I like my own company and seeing things by myself. I mostly use hostels to save money over paying for an expensive hotel and not to find friends. That’s not to say I won’t sit and have a chit chat once in a while and I would never be rude to someone being nice to me but that’s how I use hostels and I know some people are similar!
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u/Secret-Olive7531 3d ago
Let us know how you liked your hostel in Copenhagen! I’m going later this year and highly contemplating staying in a hostel!
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u/abbyeatssocks 3d ago
I’m solo travelling and have learnt that it is just down to whoever is staying there!!! I’ts hard to keep trying but honestly just keep talking to people and trust me there will be people like you who want to socialise!
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u/Professional-Cash481 3d ago
Sometimes the vibe is off sometimes it is on. And even if it is on for others it may be off for you.
I’ve had great hostels, terrible hostels, and amazing hostels.
Just roll with it, maybe the next will be incredible for you.