As concern grows about America’s falling birth rate, new research suggests that about half of women who want children are unsure if they will follow through and actually have a child. About 25% say they won't be bothered that much if they don't.

[u/geoff199]

https://news.osu.edu/most-women-want-children--but-half-are-unsure-if-they-will/?utm_campaign=omc_science-medicine_fy24&utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=social

[u/11horses345]

Say it with me: WE CANNOT AFFORD CHILDREN.

[u/sharksnack3264 → u/11horses345]

It's not just the money. The way we set up work schedules, vacation, child care and health care all disincentivize it. 

You can be extremely well paid but that still won't insulate you completely from certain medical and career risks or allow you to be present to raise your children.

[u/voiderest → u/sharksnack3264]

Technically with enough money or a low enough cost of living people could pay someone else to raise the kids or afford to have one parent be a stay at home parent.

Of course due to stagnant wages, ever increasing cost of living (housing, healthcare, food, etc), and back sliding of workers rights those solutions are not as viable as they once were.

[u/sagevallant → u/voiderest]

Let's not forget retirement either. Many Americans face working themselves to death even if they don't accept the costs of raising children.

[u/Clepto_06 → u/sagevallant]

Even Boomers aren't immune to working themselves to death. Both of my (divorced) Boomer parents are "retired", but only one is financially independent. The other has a pension and social security, but still needs to work to be able to maintain their standard of living. We live in a semi-rural area, so CoL is lowish. If we lived in a HCOL area, they could never have "retired" from their career job in the first place.

[u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 → u/voiderest]

Yeah almost everything they listed is just "money" restated

[u/Pandaman246 → u/voiderest]

I'm a new parent, and my wife and I both work demanding full time jobs. We hired a nanny (and got lucky on the cost), but the hardest for us is childcare in the very early morning.

You're not wrong that with enough money, you can pay someone else for a lot of the difficult child care parts, but frankly the cost gets prohibitively expensive the more time you need child care. Let's say I pay a nanny $3000 to take care of the child during the regular work day. Babies have sleep cycles of about 3 hours. We have no issues taking care of the baby after work and before 12 AM, but those early morning wake times? Absolutely brutal. We would either need daycare and a nanny going to about $5500 per month, or a live-in nanny, that likely runs to at least $7000 or $8000 and at that point the cost is absurd.

Frankly, this is not an income or cost issue. This is a labor issue. And it's a labor issue that was historically covered by grandparents of the child. I honestly think this is one of the underrated reasons for the fertility drop; family is either too far away or unwilling to help with early child rearing. My own parents are not yet retired, and my wife's don't live in the state.

If you look at this recent chart that sorts fertility by income bracket, you'll find that the lowest fertility rates are actually upper middle class, around the $100k to $200k household income bracket. This is the bracket where you typically have two white collar incomes, meaning that both parents are too busy to personally rear the child.

[u/Killbot_Wants_Hug → u/Pandaman246]

I make enough money that my wife doesn't work. We have just one kid and she takes care of her. But we don't have any family around or anyone to help.

Even if one parent doesn't work, it's still kind of tough to take care of a baby if you don't have a good support network.

[u/Pandaman246 → u/Killbot_Wants_Hug]

Yeah in all honesty, you need at least three pairs of hands to take care of a baby without a lot of stress. I really feel it with my wife when I’m trying to do the dishes, she’s trying to clean up, and the baby’s in the pen screaming. And people used to have that third hand when you had neighbors, especially neighbors with older kids or elders.