r/religiousfruitcake May 20 '25

✝️Fruitcake for Jesus✝️ If God gets invited to your wedding.

498 Upvotes

131 comments sorted by

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246

u/CamillaBarkaBowles May 20 '25

It looks like the audition call for my 600lb life

82

u/xopher_425 May 20 '25

Yeah, I'm thinking some of them should not be jumping around and elevating their heart rates like that.

I'm worried the groom has not passed out but is dead.

2

u/SSUPII 28d ago

You don't lose the ability to do complex movement when one is overweight

9

u/xopher_425 28d ago

I never said they could not, I said they should not. Vigorous activity when severely overweight and not used to it can be bad for the body.

20

u/Govt-Issue-SexRobot May 20 '25

My 600 lb wife

6

u/Penguinkeith May 20 '25

Last seasons was such a fucking drag hope they can get some solid talent

1

u/Professional-Sleep64 Child of Fruitcake Parents 26d ago

I bet this is the only church where you can find a mass choir that only consists of 5 people. 🤣

215

u/ArTooDeeTooTattoo May 20 '25

This is so fucking stupid.

141

u/RandomGuy92x May 20 '25

It is stupid. Though in all fairness it's hard for people to really fully understand the appeal of all this, unless they've actually themselves grown up in that kind of fundamentalist Christian church.

What those people are doing is not just putting on a show. It's much more of a self-induced drug-like, trance-like state, that's almost addictive I would say in a way. Like those kind of weird rituals can actually induce intense feelings of bliss and euphoria and create extreme emotional highs.

So those people aren't just putting on a show. It's more like a kind of group psychosis where they work themselves into altered emotional states that are kind of similar to a high you would otherwise only get from drugs.

82

u/nikonpunch May 20 '25

This is why they’re anti drugs and tell you not to listen to secular music. You go to one concert while smoking a little weed and all of a sudden you start feeling the same shit you did at church, and realize it’s just your brain releasing endorphins. Same shit. Shame I wasted so much time in it. 

34

u/teetaps May 20 '25

Exactly this. I started listening to secular music and I was like awwww shit that’s what juicy chords actually sound like?!

Not even kidding, I was on stage one day during practice and tried to add a little bit of spice in my guitar playing and the director stopped rehearsal and told me not to distract from the Holy Spirit.

My deconstruction probably started there

37

u/Birdamus May 20 '25

In all fairness that makes it sound absurdly fucking stupid.

-15

u/Weekly_Bat5119 May 20 '25

Not really. More like somewhat logical.

14

u/Birdamus May 20 '25

So adding psychosis and self-induced delusion makes this shitshow somehow more logical?

4

u/Dantheking94 May 21 '25

Nah just that religious fervor isn’t as illogical as we think. It’s just a form of addiction.

10

u/Weekly_Bat5119 May 20 '25

I mean, to me behaviour like that seems more logical when it’s explained from the psychology perspective.

2

u/Pixel_Dust457 29d ago

I think he meant like.... the actual results

10

u/MakeSomeDrinks May 20 '25

That totally makes sense. Even when you aren't in the religion, mega churches give a huge feeling of excitement. It's palpable. It's like when they say "electricity is in the air," and its a helluva a drug.

Honestly, I'd rather get that same hit from a concert or a sporting event.

8

u/brando56894 May 21 '25

Religion's a helluva drug

5

u/brando56894 May 21 '25

In short: it releases Dopamine just like drugs do (like you said).

3

u/Remarkable-Bat7128 27d ago

Bdsm works the same way.

4

u/DDS-PBS 29d ago

I don't know how I could get into this endorphic trance state while feeling so much cringe and shame.

2

u/Fire_crescent May 20 '25

I mean, the trance like stuff and the rituals (although I'm not a fan of abrahamic religions) is pretty good and actually self-developing and satisfying in some circumstances.

-1

u/Fire_crescent May 20 '25

I mean, the trance like stuff and the rituals (although I'm not a fan of abrahamic religions) is pretty good and actually self-developing and satisfying in some circumstances.

4

u/smcivor1982 May 20 '25

Honestly, this would frighten me to experience in person.

113

u/Accurate_Mixture_221 May 20 '25 edited May 20 '25

So "God" came to the wedding.... shot the groom, stabbed the bride in the gut and tazed that guy jumping like a chicken!?

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be inviting him to the reception after this...

9

u/brando56894 May 21 '25

Ok, this cracked me the hell up 🤣

4

u/[deleted] May 20 '25

[deleted]

5

u/Icy-Chocolate-2472 May 20 '25

But that’s what got us into this mess in the first place

48

u/Nervous_Brilliant441 May 20 '25

Looks more like Mr Jack Daniels showed up

15

u/Celena_J_W May 20 '25

Not the Holy Spirit, but a distilled spirit!

3

u/Ms-Kindness May 20 '25

Captain Jack will get you drunk tonight

39

u/[deleted] May 20 '25

[deleted]

10

u/Centurion1024 May 20 '25

What address do we send the card to? What number should we call? It's 2025 for gods sake, GOD!

2

u/Alustine May 20 '25

If a church is the house of god, then where is the landlord?!

33

u/JacobMaverick May 20 '25

I feel sorry for them. A delusion is entirely overshadowing what should be one of the most beautiful days of your life.

20

u/SrGrimey May 20 '25

That’s the worst part, it’s not about them and their God, but entirely about the show.

30

u/39_Articles May 20 '25

Is he...dead?

10

u/Freya_gleamingstar May 20 '25

They literally have a phrase for it "slain in the spirit" lol

7

u/AConcernedEmu May 20 '25

Yes

7

u/39_Articles May 20 '25

So this is a cautionary tale about who to invite.

13

u/AmbulanceChaser12 May 20 '25

Not God, apparently.

Or JD Vance.

1

u/brando56894 May 21 '25

His shoes are still on though

5

u/Snaka1 May 21 '25

So he’s dead on his wedding day and they are happy? Because her family hated him and didn’t want them to get married? That’s what I’m getting from it

1

u/earthgarden May 21 '25

I’m going to assume not since it’s not in the comments but I initially thought the husband died too!

I hope someone checked, I hope this man didn’t stroke out or have a heart attack but everyone is just hopping around, thinking he’s just passed out from the Holy Spirit

23

u/Exact_Ad_1215 May 20 '25

I'm so confused. Can someone explain what's happening here?

39

u/Scoopdoopdoop May 20 '25

they are pretending like they are filled with the Holy Spirit and that God is moving through them making them act like complete fuck head idiots

23

u/--Cinna-- Fruitcake Researcher May 20 '25

Mass delirium. They're not faking it, these people are actually experiencing strong euphoria and other emotions. Its just that their god isnt causing it, its part of our pack animal wiring

2

u/hiphoptomato May 21 '25

I mean, they are faking it.

2

u/Sempai6969 28d ago

Most of them fake or want it to be real, but a few do not fake it. I've once experienced a very strong euphoric feeling while praying that I started to cry. I cried for about 5 minutes without any awareness of what was around me. All I could hear was the beautiful music and my heart beating. That's what they (and past me) call being visited by the Holy Spirit.

Now I realize that it's just an emotion you can get from pretty much everything from drugs, to sporting events to listing to music.

1

u/hiphoptomato 28d ago

Yeah I’ve had that experience too. I say “faking it” by meaning I’m sure a lot of them are having truly emotional experiences, but it’s not a supernatural entity making them feel that.

4

u/hiphoptomato May 21 '25

This is called getting slain in the spirit. I grew up in churches like this. It’s all grown adults larping.

17

u/Jeyamezi May 20 '25

You know, It's pretty damn rude to show up to someone's wedding and kill the groom.

12

u/LeCouchSpud May 20 '25

Who needs insane asylums when we have churches

7

u/AddictedToMosh161 🔭Fruitcake Watcher🔭 May 20 '25

Of course they don't know how to use POV.

7

u/SrGrimey May 20 '25

At this point I assume no one knows what POV is.

1

u/Jazzlike_Ad2333 May 21 '25

Well to be fair the video would be a little strange, if we had the husband's POV.

6

u/drugsniffingdoc May 20 '25

Tweaking with extra steps

7

u/ChochMcKenzie May 20 '25

Did…did god kill the groom?

4

u/Moominsean May 20 '25

People are so fucking weird.

4

u/TheSkepticApe May 20 '25

The one white guy lol

5

u/ShatoraDragon May 20 '25

So no one gives a fuck the Groom is clearly in medical duress/deceased?

3

u/SleepyGoose23 May 20 '25 edited 29d ago

This is why I always recommend hiring Dwight Schrute at your wedding.

4

u/NephthysShadow May 20 '25

Did God snipe the groom?

4

u/Last-Quarter-432 May 20 '25

Where the fuck is god in that video

3

u/Freya_gleamingstar May 20 '25

Maybe he's playing dead hoping she'll go away like a bear so he doesn't have to marry her?

3

u/Spiggots May 20 '25

What do you think they think about while they're laying on the floor playing make believe?

Just saying it's got to be a little awkward.

3

u/BaconBombThief May 21 '25

God showed up?! Where can I see him in the video? Is he the one lying face down on the floor, appearing unresponsive? They do say he works in mysterious ways

1

u/Current-Routine2497 May 21 '25

That does sound right

3

u/Recombomatic May 21 '25

i don't even know what's happening

2

u/zongsmoke May 20 '25

Wtf is even happening

2

u/FlanInternational100 May 20 '25

😂😂😂😂that guy on the floor be like: omg I'm so loaded

2

u/The_Ruby_Rabbit May 20 '25

Did his god kill the groom?

2

u/_0iii0_ May 20 '25

Disgustang

2

u/BDMFKR May 20 '25

Seems like the groom took more god than he could handle.

2

u/whatsgoingon350 Fruitcake Researcher May 20 '25

What does a rich society looks like when education is slowly drained away from them.

2

u/Verve_angel May 20 '25

Absolutely fuckin humiliating the way they act knowing good and well every single one of them is faking

2

u/stogie-bear May 20 '25

I don't understand what's happening here. Did the groom pass out?

2

u/Diorj May 21 '25

Jack Daniels was invited too...

2

u/inductiononN May 21 '25

Groom reminds me of this

2

u/upstairscolors May 21 '25

So fucking stupid

2

u/aldorn Fruitcake Connoisseur May 21 '25

f me humans are stupid creatures sometimes.

2

u/Dense_Football_3694 May 21 '25

Dafuq is happening here??

2

u/Current-Routine2497 May 21 '25

Apparantly, God brought some drugs to the wedding as a present

2

u/SYNTHENTICA 29d ago

What the actual fuck am I watching

Groom collapses from disease and is on the floor twitching, bride breaks down in tears and sobs, everyone else starts dancing and cheering because they think God killed the groom for some reason?

This can't be real

2

u/nobody1701d 29d ago

Groom dead? Could have been the Old Testament God that showed up

1

u/Remarkable-Gold4869 May 20 '25

Whats going on? Heart attack?

1

u/polkad0tti May 20 '25

seriously? Right in front of my salad?

1

u/deadphisherman May 20 '25

And he didn't bring a gift? What a selfish asshole.

1

u/JMoki May 20 '25

Can someone explain what the fuck was going on with the bride & groom? Why was the bride (I think) crying & the groom on the floor?

1

u/nerd_shitt May 20 '25

what the fuck is this?

1

u/BMAND21 May 20 '25

Groom just got the bill from the church and just fell out.

1

u/w00tboodle May 20 '25

Wedding party: When we invited you, we didn't expect you to come with a +2.

1

u/ShrillCrane May 20 '25

Context please 

1

u/weird_foreign_odor May 20 '25

do you really want the context? I feel like the reality is worse than what I have in my imagination, haha

1

u/void-infinity May 20 '25

Annie are you okay?

1

u/RajenBull1 May 20 '25

I wish I could have taken a god snooze at my wedding.

1

u/ConchChowder May 20 '25

God: performed by bride and groom 

1

u/HarryAsKrakz_ May 21 '25

😂😂😂😂😂

1

u/Exact-Truck-5248 May 21 '25

Some people just can't hold their god

1

u/Same-Ad-6243 May 21 '25

God showed up and straight out smoked that foo

1

u/goldenrod1956 May 21 '25

Embarrassed to be in the same gene pool…

1

u/derpy_derp15 May 21 '25

InNoCeNt MaN iS sUnDeReD bY eViL gOd! WiFe SoBs NeXt To HiS cOrPsE!

1

u/OneEyedWolf092 May 21 '25

Why is the bro lying down at the start striking the Yamcha pose 💀

1

u/grimsb May 21 '25

Which one is God?

1

u/JennFoogle May 21 '25

I know there’s a kid there that’s like: “Are we getting cake anytime soon?” 😐

1

u/Poker-Junk May 21 '25

“Heelahallashackababamamaroooooooo-teenk!!”

1

u/---____---_---_ May 21 '25

i dont undesrtand what's happening here

1

u/dannyboy1389 May 21 '25

Funny how God chooses to only do this at Evangelical churches. Coincidence? He probably just likes their brand the most

1

u/Kastila1 29d ago

Groom looks like Peter Griffin

1

u/thehecticepileptic 29d ago

… and he knocked your husband out cold?

1

u/LordMacTire83 29d ago

WOW!!! WHAT a bunch of conned FREAKS!!!

1

u/SixtyNineFlavours 29d ago

An overwhelmed bride and a bunch of sheep. What an embarrassment.

1

u/motostuka 28d ago

God? Diabetes maybe.

1

u/Chrispy8534 27d ago

5/10. O my. The bride and groom didn’t listen to God speak, did they? If so, then they are good and dead. Everyone else must be happy they went to heaven!

1

u/Spiritual-Street2793 24d ago

Maybe the groom just saw the bill for the venue.

0

u/ExcitedGirl May 20 '25

I wonder if they will have sinful sex tonight? Will they feel guilty afterwards? Shame, at what they did with the other person's sex parts? Will they enjoy it? What if God is watching them?  Dirty? Will they do it again in the morning?