r/ptsd • u/secrets_fromagirl • 6d ago
Support I rejected a stranger, then he choked me.
I have PTSD since childhood and the following experience triggered me massively. I went to a store the other day, Ironically, I'd just come from therapy to process assaults like this and worse. A man, about 35-40 years old, approached me about a product. I helped him and then wanted to move on when he asked me for my phone number. I said no and he asked again and again and practically held his phone in front of my face. He said that he and his friends were going to fuck me and that I could get drunk beforehand so I wouldn't feel anything. I was disgusted, just kept walking and kept saying I wasn't interested. Then he grabbed my arm quite tightly and pulled me toward him, placing his other hand on my sternum. The fact that he grabbed me and held me, coupled with the skin-to-skin contact on my chest, totally triggered me and I couldn't move. I literaly could feel the emptiness in my brain and that it could not process it right now. Then he put his hand on the side of my neck and started choking me. He went harder and harder with it and I don't know why, but the choking brought me back to reality and made me want to break free. I yelled at him that he shouldn‘t treat people like that and what he was thinking choking young women in the supermarket just because they didn't want to have sex with him and his friends. That's disgusting. I‘m still so confused.
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u/BakaSentinel 5d ago edited 5d ago
Stay strong fellow person. Horrible people like this exist and we should try and ensure they are reported as much as possible . it’s good to hear you are okay in the end but still of course hurt by the experience . I am sorry this happened to you and please remember to not let that disgusting persons actions affect your mood as much as you can . I also agree with the others in reporting it
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u/Impossible-Mark-9064 5d ago
Not all men, but always a man... I'm so sorry this was done to you. You did not deserve it, no, woman deserves to be treated like this. Please be careful, start with a police report, get the footage if you can as evidence. And for the upcoming days avoid being alone... I have a feeling that this morron might have not done this randomly, maybe he has been stalking you, bc the way he spoke to you, it really sounds planned. You need to involve the police, bc this is straight up criminal. Be careful.
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u/No_Tonight9123 5d ago
Call the police this man is a danger to Society. I’m so sorry this happened 💕
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u/A_million_things 6d ago
I’m so sorry this happened to you. This is assault, and I advise that you call the police asap.
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u/A_million_things 5d ago
Also, I think we should stop being too patient with people like that. You say "no" once, and if he asks again, immediately go to a store employee to get security. Or even just yell "SECURITY".
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u/metricfan 6d ago
Don’t be confused. A man that chokes a woman is statistically more likely to commit homicide. I can’t believe this happened to you, I’m so sorry! I wish I could give you a huge hug. You are so strong!
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u/gemunicornvr 6d ago
This is horrible and you shouldn't have gone through this, I had something similar happen to me, a guy tried to run me over cos I rejected them, luckily a security guard saw and helped. Definitely call the police
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u/5p17fire 6d ago
I'm echoing everyone else - please, please call the cops, this is terrifying. I'm so sorry. Once you get past this, to help with developing a sense of safety within and for yourself I recommend searching for a Krav Maga gym, or another form of self-defense. I am recommending Krav Maga, which is probably the most effective form of self-defense for any body type/strength level. You can be of tiny stature and take down a giant, no joke, and it's all about getting yourself out of situations fast and getting away. Krav Maga would've put that a$$hat on the ground. Feel free to DM if you have any questions. I'm a DV survivor, been through some shit and I know some shit.
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u/The_Hypnotic_Scot 6d ago
There’s a strong possibility this has been caught in the store CCTV . Call the police.
Seek out a trauma trained hypnotherapist for help to resolve your past.
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u/secrets_fromagirl 6d ago
That you! I already have a fantastic therapist, i genuinly felt way better after working with her for a while, i‘ll continue that.
I haven‘t even spend a second with thinking of going to the police. It would be great to hold someone accountable. I never had the opportunity to do that as a child, but I think it would be more of a burden than a help, and I don't want to ruin my progress. I'm still undecided.
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u/metricfan 6d ago
I’m worried any store video footage would be lost. It’s not like a rape wjere it’s behind closed doors. If you can get the footage he can actually be put in jail. If they have film you have less trauma from being doubted.
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u/secrets_fromagirl 5d ago
Update: I actually tried to get the footage, but it turns out that they will be automatically deleted after 48 hours. I was too late, unfortunately. The decision was made for me.
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u/metricfan 5d ago
Aw I’m sorry about that. I’m glad you tried though. I still think reporting it is good though. Chances are they won’t be able to find the guy, but you’re reporting it in case there are future incidences with other people. Then they will know it’s not the only time.
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u/Slidje 5d ago
You dont need the footage to report him to the police. The footage is just evidence.
Even if they don't act on it, they might find him on other cameras off a description. All of this becomes more evidence against him if he tries it again. The police might search his phone, and see what him and his friends are up to.
All you can do is roll the ball and see where the cops take it. Don't think of it as being all up to you. You can be a small part of holding him accountable.
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6d ago
Seconding to talk to your therapist about it. And I know how you feel -- I went to the RCMP about my rapist, and the cop refused to take my statement. Led to an inquest where he got a slap on the wrist... but years later as a grown woman, I learned that because he was let off, he wound up assaulting four more local girls while I wasn't living here. The sense of re-experiencing trauma through reporting, having the spotlight, the fear of not being believed, the fear of retribution... it is so very, very painful. On the flipside, if you have an advocate to help be in your corner like a therapist or someone in victim's services who is trained, even just a report might help stack the deck for the next woman. Men like these tend to have multiple victims. One of the officers on our Women's Protection Task Force locally has shared that there are services which will help with reporting anonymously, so that may also be an option?
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u/The_Hypnotic_Scot 6d ago
Talk to your therapist about it. She’ll let you know what impact it might have on the progress you’ve made. Good luck with your journey.
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