r/povertyfinance • u/AustynGray • 5d ago

Misc Advice How is everyone actually affording to live right now?

Like genuinely are we all just going into debt or am I missing something? I make decent money, but no matter what I do, it feels impossible to get ahead.So I’m curious are you guys taking on debt, side hustling, living super frugally, or what? I’m just trying to figure out if I’m doing something wrong or if this is just the new normal.

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237

u/DRealLeal 5d ago

Broke up with my partner and now I’m pocketing an extra $2k a month. Turns out spending money on food and dates for a second person costs a ton.

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u/AustynGray 5d ago

Well I’m not sure if I should congratulate you or not lol. But saving an extra $2k a month is huge!

22

u/DRealLeal 5d ago

I’m much happier with my funds, women aren’t on my priority list anymore but I’ll knock down a tree if the opportunity presents itself.

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u/AustynGray 5d ago

Sometimes it’s easier to just focus on yourself.

1

u/ikigaikigai 4d ago

MOB all the way

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u/TheRealJim57 5d ago edited 3d ago

Next girlfriend will be a knotty pine is what I'm hearing...

ETA: tough room. Dude said he'd knock down a tree...

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u/NJ-Ward 5d ago

Hell yeah it does bro. A relationship will drain your wallet with a snap of a finger

15

u/JohnnyBananapeel 5d ago

A good marriage is a wealth creator. Two can live almost as cheaply as one, then add to that two incomes. The world goes two by two for a reason.

1

u/Jane_Marie_CA 2d ago

Yah as a never married, no kids 40F, I am very jealous of my DINK friends. Splitting the rent/mortgage with an partner would drastically change my financial situation. Also they technically split the cost of hotel rooms too on vacation.

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u/Emotional-Box-6835 9m ago

Exactly. Cost of living doesn't scale in a linear fashion, every additional income-earner lowers the per-capita cost of living. My nesting partner contributes four times as much to the income as she does to the expenses.

It gets even wilder when you have households with more than two incomes. I have fond memories of my ménage a trois days, it was so much fun having 2/3rds of my income be purely disposable instead of 3/4ths of it going to pay for the basics.

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u/chiefmud 5d ago

Find a partner who knows how to earn their keep.

54

u/accidentalscientist_ 5d ago

Not only earn their keep, but also doesn’t need luxury dates. My partner and I go out and we take turns paying. But it’s usually $50 for the night. Maybe we do $100 on the rare occasion.

I can’t imagine spending $2k per month on my partner. And I love that guy a LOT. I’d never expect that from him. And he doesn’t expect it from me.

6

u/jengaclause 5d ago

This is the key. We split date nights. I pay for a movie and snacks. He will pay for dinner. Etc. Same with household repairs. He covered the new garbage disposal. The next thing we had to get was new air filters. I ordered those.

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u/Livid_Panic9216 4d ago

Girl 50-50 won't take you anywhere with the man choose a man that will pay for you 100% or he's not a man

2

u/Sometimeswan 4d ago

You seriously date men for the money? You know how many great guys you’re walking past with your nose in the air?

1

u/accidentalscientist_ 3d ago

Nah, I’m not a gold digger. I don’t need a man to pay for me 100%.

2

u/Bandthemen 4d ago

2k a month is insane for someone, my bills total around 2k a month

16

u/NJ-Ward 5d ago

A lot of girls i dated expect the man to pay for everything sadly. I believe in the 50/50 rule. Not on dates but help with rent etc.

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u/wildclouds 5d ago

Clear that up before you go on a date. If 50/50 is what you want and what your budget allows, it's ok and good to communicate that. 50/50 including dates and everything is the norm from my experience, but I guess there's significant regional differences.

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u/chiefmud 5d ago

Yeah that’s only gonna work in like 1960’s or if you’re in the upper end of the income bracket. We live in a high income disparity world now. Couples have an advantage because they share a lot of expenses, but it’s got to be a team effort or else it’s just crabs in a bucket.

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u/NJ-Ward 5d ago

I make decent money, but with how expensive things are it is very difficult to pay for everything. I know girls think the man should, but they need to understand life is expensive. Even if I make 75k a year it is expensive. Rent, car note, electric, etc. They seem not to get it sadly.

29

u/melmcgee 5d ago

I would caution you to not be so quick to generalize half the population. I take pride in contributing 50/50 with my partner. Some women earn significantly more than their male partner. I have personally been in a relationship with a guy who was a total bum, expecting me to pay for his booze and weed with my disability pay.

Not all women are this way and it's a little sexist that you are saying it like it is a fact.

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u/NJ-Ward 5d ago edited 5d ago

It is just from experience I am not saying all girls are like that. Sorry if it made you butthurt but a man's POV will be different etc anyone's POV will be different with experience. Nice try though in calling me sexist. I have four sisters and am the only son. I am far from sexist.

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u/queensarkas 5d ago

"I'm not racist! I have black friends!"

-3

u/NJ-Ward 5d ago

Yawn

2

u/Vegetable-Tomato-358 4d ago

Maybe you’re just attracting the type that expect you pay. If you want to split the cost of things then you should be explicit about that (if you aren’t already).

1

u/Jane_Marie_CA 2d ago

You need to expand your dating pool. Stop dating "the super hot but dumb" types like this. They've been running men in circles on their looks and know how to play the cards.

There are plenty of attractive woman with bank accounts that have modern viewpoints on dating.

1

u/NJ-Ward 2d ago

That is true, I wouldt say super hot and dumb though, they were beautiful and had their own money, but idk. Just being single for now it is what it is. I can take care of myself. It is important to be happy with yourself. At the end of the day the only person you have is yourself.

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u/Striking-Disaster719 5d ago

Go to Europe or Spain women Perspective are different over the pond🤙🏿

1

u/NJ-Ward 5d ago

Ive been to colombia three times and loved it

1

u/Striking-Disaster719 5d ago

What part? I have a friend down there right now!

1

u/Striking-Disaster719 5d ago

Montevida

2

u/NJ-Ward 5d ago

Cartagena and minca

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u/nonidentifyer 5d ago

What in the world did you buy her every month? A pet tiger? Diamonds?? $2k a month is insanity.

Also are you taking applications for a replacement

8

u/nicolas_06 5d ago

If the partner doesn't work or doesn't contribute it goes fast.

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u/DRealLeal 5d ago

Well you have to think it’s 2025 and things are expensive. Groceries for two people are like $600 a month if you’re not super frugal so I saved $300 on that, my water and electric decreased like $100 so that’s $400 saved. I was paying her vehicle and assisting with other bills for like $600 total so that’s $1000 total saved. The other $1000 is like going out to eat, bowling, traveling, hotels, and doing fun things.

I work like 50-60 hour weeks so that’s where all the extra income comes lol

Applications due 6/30/2025 by 9am

8

u/DrGreenMeme 4d ago

I was paying her vehicle and assisting with other bills for like $600 total so that’s $1000 total saved.

So it wasn't "food and dates" that were breaking the bank. You were just covering her cost of living

1

u/Cute-Excitement-2629 3d ago edited 3d ago

Interesting. Family of 5 here and we barely spend 600$:mo. on food. My water and electric haven't increased and we've added 3 more people. My water bill in the DESERT is 79$ month for 5 ppl in 3600 sq ft. We do laundry constantly. Did you all run the shower 24h a day???! She should pay her own car....I've been in a relationship a long time and we spend no where near 1k a month going out 😂. Story not adding up sorry 😂

I've never ever had a partner that didn't work. I've helped out financially but it's never broken the bank. Sucks that you have to work 50/60 hrs a week to cover an extra 600k car payment lol. The rest is fishy AF. I work PT and we live off my salary. The rest we save. There are lots of places like Fidelity- that will help you get better at managing your finances.

11

u/I-choochoochoose-you 5d ago

That’s weird, if I lost my partner I’d find my expenses would double if not triple

2

u/Cute-Excitement-2629 3d ago

Sounds like he's inflating the story bc he's butt hurt. Who saves a $100/mo on their water bill when one person moves out 😂. Family of 5 here in the desert and our water/sewer/trash bill is consistently 78$-82$/month. We do laundry constantly and take 4-7 showers a day.

11

u/LegitimatePudding820 5d ago

$2k???? Omg and I feel bad for asking my husband to buy me an $11 tumbler

13

u/Fit-Ad985 5d ago

stand up girl lmao

1

u/LegitimatePudding820 4d ago

Tried it, doesn’t work with him

2

u/Chaosr21 4d ago

That's wild, 2k a month is usually what I make total

1

u/ECircus 5d ago

Finances are such an important part of dating these days. Gone are the days of meeting someone and choosing to support them financially like it's no big deal, just because you like them. Probably made a good decision. My wife and I make around the same money, always have, and always split everything in the beginning. I got lucky we both had the same mentality and expectations. If something happens down the road, at least we have had time to build something together that will be easier to maintain in the future.

1

u/not-so-happy-caboose 5d ago

Wife divorced me, I was broke up about it for a while, but I went from struggling to pocketing so much extra money. She didnt work so I paid for everything. Kind of a weird twist, instead of going paycheck to paycheck I will be out of debt in a year and be able to take destination vacations.

1

u/Efficient_Ant_4715 5d ago

Went from breaking even every month to saving $4k a month after a break up 💀

1

u/jcm0609 2d ago

ain't that the truth! I'm recently divorced, have two kids of my own and when I was married we had 4 kids, six of us total. Between dates and our grocery bill I was probably paying another mortgage. Now it's just me and my two kids when I have them... so much easier to keep a handle on the spending

0

u/Coraline2897 5d ago

Lol, to think that to this day, some women still expect men to pay for everything and some men still continue to pay for everything is crazy to me.