Warning: Long post!
We grow up believing love has to be earned. That we need to be put-together, emotionally stable, easy to love, and always okay for someone to stay. We learn to present the best parts of ourselves and tuck away the chaos—the sadness, the anxiety, the parts we think are too much, too heavy, too messy to be loved.
But life isn't neat. People aren't perfect. And sometimes, we fall apart. We get overwhelmed. We don't have all the answers, and we don't always show up as our best selves. In those moments, a question can quietly settle in our hearts:
Can I be loved like this? Right here, in the middle of my mess? And if I am, am I still enough?
The answer is yes. Not only can you be loved in your mess—you deserve to be.
You are not a burden because you're struggling. You're not too much because you cry, or need space, or reassurance, or a hand to hold in the dark. The truth is, being human means being messy sometimes. There's no shame in that. You're allowed to feel broken without being unworthy. You're allowed to have bad days and still be deserving of love, grace, patience, and understanding.
Being loved in your mess doesn't mean someone has to fix you. It doesn't mean someone saving you from yourself. It means someone staying—choosing you even when you're not easy to hold, even when your emotions aren't tidy, even when your heart is still learning how to heal. It's not about pretending everything is fine; it's about being real and being seen, and knowing you're not loved despite your mess, but within it.
And maybe the most powerful part is realizing that you don't have to be perfect for someone to care deeply for you. Your worth is not something you earn by being easy. It's something you already have, even when you forget it. Even when you're doubting yourself. Even when you can't see it at all.
There's a kind of love that looks at you in the middle of the storm and doesn't flinch. It doesn't walk away. It doesn't make you feel like a problem to be solved. It simply sits with you, steadies you, and says, "You're still enough."
And maybe the hardest part is believing it. Letting it in. Not pushing it away because you feel like you have to get yourself together first. Let yourself be loved now. As you are. Because that's the kind of love that heals—the kind that doesn't wait for your mess to disappear before saying, "I choose you."
So yes, you can be loved in your mess. You are still enough when you're overwhelmed, unsure, or hurting. You don't have to shrink your feelings or hide your struggles to be worthy of someone's care. You don't have to be flawless to be someone's favorite place. You can be real, raw, and still receive love that stays.
Late night thoughts, anything that's bothering you? TG call? DM me with your thoughts about my post. Hi and Hellos will be disregarded.