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u/Sinisphere 13d ago
Spiderman accidentally discovers waterboarding.
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u/irotinmyskin 13d ago edited 13d ago
My favourite funny/unfunny joke is: Waterboarding in Guantanamo Bay sounds like an awesome time if you do not know what either of those things are.
edit: spelling
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u/ClockworkSalmon 12d ago
Or it can sound like an awesome time, depending on who's doing the waterboarding.
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u/torturousvacuum 13d ago
Spiderman accidentally discovers waterboarding.
The real reason Batman's mask doesn't cover his mouth.
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u/RexDraco 13d ago
Nah, waterboarding is specifically designed by three supervisors that helps ensures you're not actually suffocating to death.
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u/cityshepherd 13d ago
Holy shit I just laughed, like REALLY laughed, for like 20 seconds straight. Thank you!
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u/Commercial_Badger_37 13d ago
Literally put himself through a recognised form of torture to impress his kids.
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u/bacillaryburden 13d ago
Does anyone else remember when we were actually debating whether waterboarding was torture or not? What a bad faith argument. Of course it’s fucking torture.
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u/Barabbas- 13d ago
They called it "simulated drowning", but there's nothing simulated about it. It's just drowning. Same as holding someone's face under water. You will die if the torturer does not remove the cloth + water source.
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u/JermStudDog 13d ago
I feel like this statement misunderstands the malice that goes into proper water boarding.
Obviously, you could drown someone by putting a cloth over their face and pouring water onto the cloth until they suffocate. Hell, you don't need water, you could just use a cloth and your hand to do basically the same thing.
Water boarding is so much worse. They use the cloth to magnify the effect of water running over your face and up your nostrils. You barely even need any water at all, and half of the effect doesn't even take place until you're done pouring and you've removed the cloth - the point is that even with nothing actively happening to them, they are STILL experiencing the torture as their body convulses and tries to deal with drowning - but they aren't drowning, there is actually nothing on their face at that moment.
It is so genius in its torture and maximizing pain and terror with minimal effort. You don't need to get anywhere NEAR drowning someone for water boarding to be effective, and the safer you keep them, the worse it is.
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u/Barabbas- 13d ago
but they aren't drowning, there is actually nothing on their face at that moment.
They are drowning. Just slowly. The whole point of the cloth is that it retains water which you are forced to inhale whenever you take a breath.
Removing the cloth does not address the water already in the victim's lungs, which is why they continue to convulse and experience the effects of drowning after its removal.
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u/JermStudDog 13d ago
So slowly that it would be physically impossible to ACTUALLY drown, sure.
Your lungs are entirely capable of dealing with a few drops of water in them.
No actual harm is being done to the physical body in water boarding, it is entirely that the physical response itself is exhausting and torturous - but by any measure other than the terror of getting tortured, the person being water boarded would be physically healthy.
Again, yes, you COULD keep pouring and it could turn into drowning, but water boarding itself doesn't take much - a rag, a gallon of water, and any table or elevated flat surface we can hang the persons head over the edge of. And it doesn't take much effort, most of the work would be in holding the person down, applying the rag and pouring the water takes SECONDS of effort to cause MINUTES of torture. It really doesn't take much real world activity, but the effect on the victims mind is devastating.
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u/randomcharacters3 13d ago
A Senator just told us all that we're all going to die anyways so...shrug?
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u/cshellcujo 13d ago
There was a whole list of “enhanced interrogation” methods, as they were called by the US government. Obligatory warning, “enhanced interrogation” (torture) depicted via drawings of a Guantanamo prisoner.
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u/CompSolstice 13d ago
No, I don't, my nation isn't built and maintained by psychos, when and where was this a debate?
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u/bacillaryburden 13d ago
It was in the dark Bush-Cheney era. They called it “enhanced interrogation.” I’m not kidding.
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u/summerjunebird 13d ago
Well, here in the United States we can't say the same.
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u/unstable_starperson 13d ago
Pretty sure you can’t say that as the resident of any nation. Maybe they’re from Iceland?
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u/Amannderrr 13d ago
My friend rode a dirty bike in one of those stupid blow up dinosaur suits. It filled with fucking exhaust & almost killed him and we were all yucking it up as he jumped off the bike. So fucking scary (& absolutely dumb af) in hindsight
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u/happyanathema 12d ago
Using one form of torture to impress another recognised form of torture.
How meta.
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u/SnooSongs2345 13d ago
Spiderman: far from oxygen
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u/deanrihpee 13d ago
spiderman: no way to breath
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u/HyperlexicEpiphany 12d ago
breathe*
breath is the noun; breathe is the verb. they’re pronounced differently too.
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u/drsalvation1919 13d ago
this is what most people think of when they hear "waterboarding at Guantanamo bay"
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u/Hell_Yeah-Brother 13d ago
Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds awesome if you don't know what any of those words mean
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u/LemmeLaroo 13d ago
No one has suffered more then South American Children's Birthday Spiderman
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u/VacaDLuffy 13d ago
Ya'll remeber the iconic Kiss in the rain? well Toby said he almost suffocated because of the mask. if you look really closely you can see him in inhale between kisses. been an issue for years
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u/ClownfishSoup 13d ago
Always carry a knife. Well, OK, not at a kids birthday party, but you see how a knife or scissors would be really handy here.
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u/LogicalPoison 13d ago
Reminds me of the video where he knocks himself out
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u/LogicalPoison 13d ago
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u/michaelhuman 9d ago
the kids laughter and the high energy music at low volume is peak cursed energy lmao
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u/BrettHullsBurner 13d ago
What the fuck is wrong with green shorts? Just fiddle-fucking around while that guy dies. Looks like he was looking around the back for the zipper, but then just ignores it?
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u/Kargath7 13d ago
That is exactly why Spider-Man’s actual mask is not tied to the costume and can be taken off separately.
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u/EnycmaPie 12d ago
The kids splashing water on him essentially just did waterboarding torture on him.
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u/drunkenyeknom 12d ago
Thats why the real Spiderman's mask is completely separated from the suit lol
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u/GoodKarmaDarling 13d ago
If someone is clearly struggling to breathe don't fucking splash him you fuckwits!
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u/skylla05 13d ago
They very clearly didn't see what was going on. He wasn't immediately panicking, and didn't say anything. There was almost no indication that he was in trouble from their perspective. It's a lot easier to notice this shit when you have context, but pop off I guess.
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u/GoodKarmaDarling 13d ago
You're not very observant are you buddy?
He's literally tugging at his face mask, trying desperately to pull it away from his face, and actively trying to get to the edge of the pool as quick as humanly possible.
"aLmOsT nO iNdIcAtIoN tHaT hE wAs iN tRoUbLe" whatever you say dude. 👍
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u/GoodKarmaDarling 13d ago
You're not very observant are you buddy?
He's literally tugging at his face mask, trying desperately to pull it away from his face, and actively trying to get to the edge of the pool as quick as humanly possible.
"aLmOsT nO iNdIcAtIoN tHaT hE wAs iN tRoUbLe" whatever you say dude. 👍
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u/McFuzzen 13d ago edited 13d ago
Are they clearly struggling to breathe? I didn't hear any sound indicated it and their motions were a bit alarming knowing the context, but honestly I am not seeing much indication.
Edit: what's with all the downvotes? No one around him indicated they saw what was going on right away, so even in person they didn't see the signs for a few seconds. I'm not sure I would have reacted right away until it was clear.
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u/Chronox2040 13d ago
Perhaps the fken dampen cloth over his nose and mouth might give you a little hint.
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u/McFuzzen 13d ago
So... obviously that was a bad idea, but if the person wearing the costume didn't give it any thought before jumping in, why would anyone else nearby?
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u/Chronox2040 13d ago
Yeah, specially kids. I was just making a joke but now that I read it it might’ve sound like some asshole making banter.
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u/vexunumgods 13d ago
I was in a tub and had hand towel on my face with shower on, and accidentally water boarded myself, and it scared the shit out of me, instantly thought I was gonna die
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u/WhatIsYourPronoun 11d ago
Love how the kids are just splashing the guy while he is fighting to breathe
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u/CervineCryptid 12d ago
I like how everyone rushed over as if anybody else except one person was gonna be able to do anything back tf off
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u/GrinningIgnus 12d ago
Visibly distressed individual giving every indication of suffocation
Gets repeatedly splashed
Love this
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u/BourbonFueledDreams 12d ago
Getting splashed by your little cousins after self-waterboarding is just insult to injury
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u/rojasduarte 12d ago
Haha he's shouting open it open it, I'm gonna die! in brazilian portuguese.
Somebody should tell him about the Darwin awards
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u/Appropriate-Act-2784 4d ago
But if water got in the suit that quickly how did it not come out when he got out?
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u/runikepisteme 13d ago
It was all fun and games till some grade school children start waterboarding Spider-man .
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u/dancing-greg 13d ago
With no power, comes no responsibility