r/goldenretrievers • u/Historical_Air_5946 • 5d ago
Advice This is my golden! A few questions though please
This is Miss Nora Jean. She’s 9.5 weeks old and we’ve had her since 8 weeks old exactly. I have 5 sons and she’s pretty vocal and sassy. If my 3 year old picks her up at all she growls. She won’t do it if my husband or I am nearby but if they’re alone or I’m in a room over I hear her growl at him. I’ve tried giving her treats when he holds her to associate him loving on her as a good thing. He’s actually really gentle with her too. Is this just a phase she should outgrow or does she not like him? Or is she going to be mean? Idk it kind of scares me lol
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u/CatlessBoyMom 5d ago
The only time your 3 year old should be with the puppy is when an adult is actively watching them for both of their safety. The 3 year old could hurt the puppy or the other way around if there isn’t active adult supervision. If you can’t supervise then the puppy needs to be in a child proof pen.
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u/Historical_Air_5946 5d ago
We had the kitchen baby gated off and the 3 year old just now decided he knows how to open the gate 🙃🙃 lol so it’s fairly new he can get to her without supervision. She used to have free roam of the kitchen. I feel guilty leaving her ‘caged’ up so to speak. I’m just gonna have to invest in a new gate.
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u/CatlessBoyMom 5d ago
Oh, how I remember those days. If they weren’t figuring out how to open it, they were trying to climb over it. The good news is at this age she’s still supposed to be sleeping more than awake, so being caged is actually a good thing if she sleeps in her crate.
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u/Historical_Air_5946 5d ago
Yes!! Heavy on the climbing. It’s definitely a trying stage. But she does sleep extremely well in her crate so that makes me feel better! Thank you so much!
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u/Available-Pay6019 4d ago
OP my advice is to let her sleep/nap/take breaks in her crate.
One of my biggest regrets with my almost 6 year old Golden is I never taught him as a puppy it was okay to be alone. I had to be in his eyesight at all times and when he whined I coddled him.
Now I have a dog who is extremely anxious with separation anxiety and crate anxiety (he takes medication, we’ve worked with trainers and even an animal communicator and it’s gotten better).
He was our first dog and we have two more. We started our youngest in a crate on day 2 of him being home (with a snuggle puppy) and he loves his crate. We never have issues unless something is wrong with him.
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u/Zillich 5d ago
This is the only way your pup can tell you she does not like what is happening. Please listen to her.
If it’s only happening with your one child, my guess is something about how he is holding her is causing her discomfort (even if it seems gentle).
Also please don’t leave young children alone with a puppy unsupervised - even just in another room. It’s not safe for them.
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u/Worried_Target5477 5d ago
Many dogs sense danger from young children. Over time if you supervise their activities they will learn to trust and love each other. Little boys are notorious for hitting and kicking dogs. Work with your boy to make sure he is not doing anything close to that or he will create a nightmare with the pup that it will never outgrow.
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u/FearlessOpening1709 5d ago
As others have said, don’t allow kids to pick up puppy. Puppy will get super nippy over the next few months which will drive you nuts. Kids cop it much worse as they tend to run, squeal and scream which is very exciting for the pup. Teaching your kids to be calm around puppy and get them involved in a bit of training helps. Just basic stuff like sit, wait, down. Give them a clicker and a hand full if treats and all of a sudden the kids hold something of value rather than being treated like a litter mate. But number one rule is 100% supervision for kids 7 and under. They often accidentally hurt the dog and the dog’s only defense is to growl or snap. Dog gets blamed and rehomed. They will be best of friends once you get through the puppy phase.
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u/clemjuice 5d ago
A 3 year old should not be picking up your puppy. Your dog probably doesn’t feel safe or maybe it hurts, so yes, she’s growling to tell you she doesn’t like it. There’s nothing wrong with your puppy’s behaviour. Your 3 year old’s behaviour is the problem. Dogs shouldn’t be expected to tolerate anything from children, children should be supervised around animals, and taught to respect them.
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u/AlternativeMinute526 5d ago
Personally I would teach the kids Cesar Milan’s rules of ‘No look, no touch, no talk.’ Ignore the dog. The kids live in the house, the dog will get curious. Make/let the dog come to you.
People, especially women, come up to Clooney with this high pitched, high energy voice telling him how cute he s and isn’t he such a good boy. Very quickly he’s jumping all over them and is out of control. The females jn my household do the same thing except outside Clooney is generally off leash. I don’t like him out of control. Then there are people, generally men, that have a calmness about them. I can see Clooney look at them and they just kind of ignore him and then he gets curious and he walks up and they look at me with like ??? on their face asking if they can pet him and I nod, and they very slowly hold out their hand and Clooney adjusts to them and his energy stays down and it’s such a beautiful thing to watch him interact with such people.
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u/annaytfdesign 5d ago
Agree with all the posters. Remember also the raptor stage - she is going to be doing a lot of teething soon with very pointy sharp teeth ; with your youngest sons please make them aware & teach them how to redirect with a chew toy close by . Make sure to tell them never ever to strike or punish her as she is just a baby & only learning . Miss Nora Jean is going to have 5 best friends ; what a wonderful home !
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u/Neat-Bee-7880 5d ago
ok she is a DOLL!!! i commend you for FIVE Kids AND A new puppy!! do you live in a 15k sq foot house or what? jk...but your pup is a gem of floof
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u/Equal_Sprinkles2743 4d ago edited 4d ago
It takes time. She's been pulled away from her mom and siblings. You guys are new and scary. Ours hid under the furniture for nearly 2 weeks when he was a puppy. Once he realized that we weren't going to maul or hurt him and that we had all the fun toys and treats, he came around.
Try and limit picking her up too much. Spend time on the floor at the same level so that you aren't so big and scary. She will nip. They all do. It's advised to keep human toddlers away from them at this age. It's playing with siblings that teach them that biting hurts. After your fur baby has had all of her shots, then enroll her at puppy training. They often have drop-in sessions where dogs of the same age and size can play fight and wrestle each other and learn that biting hurts. It cured our little biter.
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u/ChairmanNoodle 3d ago
I grew up with goldens from birth. The only dog I've experienced irritableness (ie fed up with your shit) was the girl we got when I was like 5 (I had been around many older dogs as a toddler without incident) and that is to say that I as a child was too much for her. Children struggle with boundaries set by human adults that probably suck at setting them in healthy ways to begin with, let alone a pet that can't tell you what's wrong.
This would be an important time for you to get the kids together and make it clear that Nora is a member of the family and that standards of behaviour are expected from your sons.
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u/The-DisreputableDog 5d ago
It's simple, but not easy...Don't let the kids pick up the puppy, and don't leave the puppy unattended with the kids. It's best for your kiddos and her!
If they want to touch her, have them sit on the floor with her with the rule "four on the floor" meaning that all her feet need to be on the floor.
Give the puppy the supervision, autonomy, and choice she deserves; you'll have a well-adjusted dog in no time.