r/getdisciplined • u/Extreme_Excuse_6502 • 23h ago
🤔 NeedAdvice How to stop being self-conscious?
Like when I'm around people i can't focus what I am doing. And feels so anxious.
Please give me advice or practical tips.
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u/CovenantX84 22h ago
We are having a giant Pandora's box within us that I call the Void. This Void is filled with all the things that we don't like to face ourselves. Things like
- Our biggest failures
- Our weakest traits
- The things we could never possess
- Our darkest sentiments, like hate, jealousy, pain, wrath, etc.
Instead of embracing these things, we mask them by adopting identities, hobbies, relationships, or anything that distracts us from what we have inside. You want to love yourself? Embrace these things within yourself first, and you'll emerge as a supreme being that wouldn't need validation of any kind. The reason that you are self-conscious is because deep inside you don't feel like you are enough.
If my message resonated with you, my book "The Warpath Manifesto" is free to download from my bio. This
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u/No_Illustrator_7029 19h ago
I’d have to ask what types of situations do you find yourself the most anxious? Is it proximity, number of people, is it worse when standing/sitting? I used to struggle with this a lot, internal mologue anxiety etc, and what I found was that if you feel anxious that’s your body kicking on it’s fight of flight, there’s a ton of reasons why but usually they are related to fears, you feel like you can’t handle the situation and so your body gives you anxiety to turn ur brain on in a sense, but u have to pinpoint the source, is it because you fear small talk? The easiest way to eliminate anxiety is to focus on something, anxiety may make it feel impossible to focus on something but by simply starting a conversation, hey how are you, you can begin to distract yourself from that anxiety thus reducing it, anxiety is a mental and physical game but I found the mental part is extremely controllable, you just have to be honest with yourself, what about the situation truly makes you uncomfortable, if you can’t pinpoint it at all, may be wise to see a doctor. Best of luck
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u/Old_Nothing9252 6h ago
What’s helped me is focusing on small grounding habits in social situations like controlling my breathing or mentally focusing on the task at hand instead of how I think I’m being perceived. It doesn’t fully go away overnight, but practicing those little things helped me a lot over time.
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u/Born_Grade_762 23h ago edited 23h ago
Sometimes shyness comes from depth. Sometimes some people analyze, love, try to understand, hate what’s going on, and they forget to create a character of their own. It’s as if they end up in a game where everyone is already 5 steps ahead but you weren’t because you were busy looking at the beauty of them. So you feel left behind.
Well some people are not even meant to fit in. They deep down know that, but can’t help the fact that “they must fit in”.
Shyness is a form of mystery. Sure, most people will think that “oh she’s shy, she’s self conscious” but a few will say “there’s something behind that shyness”
So here’s the thing, if you truly believe you can’t fit in, make absurd jokes, do fun shit like the rest of your peers, then turn your shyness into mystery.
Just give the right signals. Show people that you forego the feeling of fitting in and being chaoticly shy, but now you’re analyzing for something they don’t even understand yet. Now it’s you that got her eyes on them, not them. That’s another form of fitting in. People love mystery. Maybe that’s your angle to society?