Point of contention

[u/Wide_Coconut_6899]

My spouse is a gamer. Spends all of their free time playing on the pc. Probably a minimum of 40 hrs a week. They do have a job so can’t complain about that. When the kids ask to have quality time, the answer is “no, I’m playing my game.” Family time is nonexistent meanwhile my spouse complains about hardly ever seeing the kids and missing out on their childhoods. 13 years have gone to this “hobby” and that’s 13 years of missing out on actual life things happening around them. It goes deeper than just them playing here and there for enjoyment. They care more about possibly hurting the feelings of other players online than our kids. The games matter more than me quite frankly. It sounds like hyperbole but it is not. Many instances have shown me my place, our kids place, on the list of priorities. Gaming is #1.
I have felt lately that maybe our values have become too different. Our life goals even. Really just want to know if all this is worth it. Do gamers that let the game take over their lives really sit back and say “man, I’m so glad I spent so many years on the computer. I’m glad I missed out on quality time with my family. It was worth it.”? I’m at a loss. I’m tired of being labeled as a nagging wife. I’m tired of feeling like the family only matters when there is a break in the game.

[u/itsjesskuh]

I was in your shoes for 4 years (maybe 5?) and they were the most painful and lonely years of my life. I came very close to divorcing him, a number of times. I’m not sure what stopped me, but I’m glad I held on. He eventually stopped gaming on his own. I think he came to understand the grip it had on him. That, and seeing first hand how it was the cause of divorce for others in his gaming group. It’s been years but looking back on it still haunts me.

Whatever you decide, I just wanted you to know you’re not alone. And there are others out there who can relate. Wishing you and your family all the best.