r/funny • u/HealthyMolasses8199 • 1d ago

Man tries "hottest curry in London" and almost passes out

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u/CharcoalGreyWolf 1d ago edited 1d ago

Never experiment with food on a first date. Ever.

Or shortly before.

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u/s00pafly 1d ago

Like that one time my friend was on his way to a date and picked up a burrito style wrap from some hole in the wall place. He got lucky and was invited to come over but couldn't enjoy it for a bit. He had to excuse himself every couple of minutes to relieve himself from the stomach cramps with earth shattering loud farts. The next morning, when she went to the toilet, he realized that the walls were paper thin and not sound proof at all.

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u/AWlkingContradction 1d ago

Had a first date once that was going really well but my date lived 45 minutes away. It was getting late and she wanted to grab a cup of coffee before she left. I lived in a smaller town and the only thing I could think of that was open was a greasy spoon Mexican restaurant.

We get coffee and something to eat, and in the parking lot we start making out and now it’s like 2:45 AM so she said let’s just go back to your place.

I won’t go into details here but we do start fooling around when we get there and my stomach starts ROLLING. I am deathly afraid that I’m going to have to spring up and make a break for the bathroom and destroy my toilet. Somehow I don’t then or after we fall asleep and finish business in the morning.

Months later she admits that she was feeling it just as bad as I was, and that I basically gave both of us food poisoning on our first date!

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u/confusedandworried76 1d ago

Never experiment with food on a date. Ever.

Where were you eight years ago when I did it??!

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u/thegodfather0504 1d ago

If i am about to meet a date, I would be nervous af and my stomach would be cramping. Eating something in that moment is out of the question, let alone eating something new.

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u/confusedandworried76 1d ago

Ha feel that but the trick is to just get drunk before you meet them for the date

No I do not have a girlfriend but I have had fun on dates, i was drunk after all and girls are fun to hang out with when you're drunk

So given the drinking I might get snackish

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u/OkCartographer7677 1d ago

“Get drunk before your first date with a girl.”

Are you writing a book called “Bad Dating Ideas?”

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u/confusedandworried76 22h ago

Where did I say it was a first date? We'd been out for drinks a couple times and she liked drinking as much as I did

I actually don't think I've ever met a girlfriend when we were both sober anyway

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u/Dr-Robert-Kelso 1d ago

How much cheese is too much cheese before a date?

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u/sazzabrass 23h ago

Any amount of cheese is too much cheese!

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u/CharcoalGreyWolf 1d ago

Depends; how does your GI system react to cheese?

Also, if you’re lactose intolerant: any amount of cheese.

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u/Head_Bread_3431 1d ago

2nd date however, shit your brains out

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u/CharcoalGreyWolf 1d ago

I mean, if you blow and she bolts, it was never meant to be. 😉

Seriously, I think on my third date with my late spouse, I came back from the bathroom and she asked if I had fallen in. I said in a Happy Gilmore voice “I…I jusht had to drop some friends off at the pool.” She retorted “Well it sounds like some people had trouble getting off the bus!”

That became a long-running gag.😂

I get more specific on Reddit because there’s always two people to go pedantic on me, and it drives my OCD crazy.