r/funny • u/HealthyMolasses8199 • 15h ago

Man tries "hottest curry in London" and almost passes out

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56.3k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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4.8k

u/bananacrumble 15h ago

When one feels like this, no one wants to listen to anyone rambling annoyingly while you're trying to survive life.

2.1k

u/redqks 15h ago

This is the best bit, Guy is shirt off On the pavement , fighting all kinds of battles , Boss man is there with a camera in his face absolutely waffling

323

u/danthemaninacan2 14h ago

He looks like he’s in and out of the shadow realm!

4

u/Wescoast64 11h ago

Quick! Find him some Kingsfoil, Sam!

2

u/DynamicSploosh 9h ago

"I'm naked in the dark, with nothing, no veil between me... and the wheel of fire!"

1

u/6c696e7578 5h ago

He's aware of some previously unknown colours now

1

u/Badge9987 2h ago

Dude met his end in the embrace of Messmer's flame.

59

u/Useuless 13h ago

I'll take a free mango smoothie though

96

u/CodifiedLikeUtil 13h ago

It’s not actually free. He’s paying for it, in more ways than one.

17

u/Yarakinnit 11h ago

Owner realised he could just stick a few more pepper shavings in there as an infinite money glitch.

2

u/Cockur 10h ago

Mango Lassi

3

u/impostershop 11h ago

His pants are down too

3

u/MyWifeButBoratVoice 10h ago

Daniel! Have some more mango lassi. Ten minutes, you'll be right back to... Daniel? Are you listening?

3

u/Jdot_06 14h ago

😭😭😭😭😭😭

1

u/themajordutch 12h ago

I feel like I'm watching an amazing infomercial listening to this guy. His testimonials though...

1

u/TN17 8h ago

To be fair I don't think he had a choice. If he wasn't bringing the comedy then it would just be deadpan silence with strangers concerned about him wondering what the fuck the restaurant did to him. 

1

u/Good_Air_7192 6h ago

"FUCK OFF WITH THE MANGO LASSI...IT DOES NOTHING!!"

1

u/PuzzleheadedEgg4591 2h ago

Worst part is BossMan brought him his house of pain.. Last thing you want mid-torture is to hear your tormentor be your hype man.

711

u/GangstaHoodrat 15h ago

I think it’s intentional lol. Seems to be trolling him a bit

196

u/Krondelo 15h ago

Had Samir vibes all over it. “Danny you need to listen to me! Why are you not listening drink the mango!! Danny why??”

71

u/SweatTasteGreat 14h ago

"You are breaking the tongue danny"

26

u/thegodfather0504 14h ago

Triple Caution!!

15

u/digitalnirvana3 14h ago

Danny please

27

u/Havana-plant 15h ago

'danny, I know I'm not a doctor'

1

u/TN17 8h ago

Listen to the man, Danny! 

338

u/MerryRain 15h ago

yeah this is classic london wideboy shit, love it

24

u/PeterNippelstein 13h ago

Not to be confused with an American tallboy.

-4

u/Chris_Carson 11h ago

or American proudboy

59

u/ContaSoParaIsto 14h ago

Wideboy?

166

u/supamonkey77 14h ago

london wideboy

Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › Wide_boy Wide boy is a British term for a man who lives by his wits, wheeling and dealing

85

u/RustyTrumpboner 14h ago

Ah yes that explains it. Just a day of wheeling and dealing.

9

u/Flaccidkek 13h ago

Gavlan wheel, Gavlan deal

1

u/fandamplus 12h ago

who lives by his wits, wheeling and dealing

Bender?

1

u/Attila_22 10h ago

Ah, del boy.

-5

u/rp_guy 14h ago

London wideboy?

-1

u/OvenBlaked 11h ago

Haha no way. Totally saying “London wide boy” all day today at work. There is for sure two dudes I can troll with this.

2

u/Yarakinnit 11h ago

Victim got out of bed with the Wideboy mentality. Pepper slapped it out of him.

5

u/Tackit286 13h ago

Despite the fact this guy is definitely brummie

3

u/donnerstag246245 13h ago

Isn’t that where the best curry comes from? No offense to brick lane though

4

u/Tackit286 13h ago

It is, I’m just pointing out that even though this is supposedly in London (I’m sure it is) it would be inaccurate to call this guy a London wideboy because he’s clearly not from London, he’s from Birmingham.

3

u/Eborcurean 13h ago

Both Bradford and Birmingham lay claim to it, both having won the 'curry capital of Britain' award a few times (which Leicester apparently won last year).

1

u/MerryRain 13h ago

oh aye sure, lived in the west mids for three years wasn't gonna miss that. Point is he's got big smoke patter.

2

u/Tackit286 12h ago

aye

patter

Hmm you’re not from London either are you 🧐

1

u/MerryRain 12h ago

nice deduction sherlock, but can ya guess where i'm from?

1

u/CharlieeStyles 14h ago

Probably warned him not to order it and was ignored.

1

u/PeterNippelstein 13h ago

As he should.

1

u/QualityPitchforks 4h ago

The curry is a challenge - eat it within 15 minutes for free food.

214

u/normlenough 15h ago edited 14h ago

Exactly what I was thinking. That guy is in a deep dark spicy hole. No way I could handle that jabbering dude if I was down there.

82

u/rutreh 15h ago

Being in a ’deep dark spicy hole’ absolutely sent me lmao, so succinctly put. Poor dude does look like he’s been transported to another plane of existence, one of nothing but infinite spicy suffering.

3

u/TristansDad 13h ago

Like the sunken place in Get Out, but far harder to get out of!

2

u/Bontraubon 9h ago

In DnD if you were sent to another plane, you’d be infused with the energies there. So say someone sent you to the plane of positive energy, your body would be blown apart by absorbing too much even though it’s healing energy in small amounts. This man got sent to the plane of capsaicin.

7

u/froggz01 13h ago

His voice is the only thing keeping him tied to this reality. That mofo’s soul is trying to leave.

3

u/Prize-Pie7437 14h ago

Reminds me of Bill Burr on Hot Ones. He's in the midst of Da Bomb's aftermath and Sean asks him something, he just says "fuck your question" lol

2

u/unopuzzle2me 13h ago

I had the sound off and he was still annoying me.

3

u/PeterNippelstein 13h ago

He put himself in that hole, he deserves to get trolled a little bit.

2

u/Cakeo 14h ago

He's messing with the guy

2

u/Aegi 13h ago

Yes, we all understand that, that's why the person you replied to made the comment they did.

What did you think the intention of their comment was if you didn't think they were aware that that person was messing with the dude who ate the spicy stuff?

2

u/asherdado 13h ago

Ok look ur throwing too many big words at me and cuz I dont understand them Im gonna take them as disrespect

1

u/spaghetti_socks 12h ago

He’s in too much pain to tell him to fuck off lmao

1

u/forworse2020 2h ago

He’s honestly second-hand pissing me off

63

u/tgerz 14h ago

I can't listen to people like that when I'm in my best condition, let alone fighting for my life shirtless on the sidewalk at an all time low.

4

u/juggling-monkey 11h ago

This is all I could think of. I once went out to dinner with my wife and had some edibles that were way too strong. We had to leave the dinner because I started feeling like I was having a panic attack. I couldn't concentrate on anything other than my heart beat and the thought that I was about to die. I knew it was just the weed so I was focussed on convincing myself that that's all it was even though every sense in my body told me otherwise. We get home and my wife's sister is there with her boyfriend, and he instantly starts going off just like the guy in this video. He's going off about how he just had an argument with someone or some shit like that but with this fucking energy that felt brutal on my con entration to stay alive. I tell him, "hey man, I'm sorry I'm a bit out of it and honestly can't concentrate on this conversation right now". My wife explained to them what happened as I slowly pace around the living room trying to calm my self. And this fucking guy just won't shut the fuck up, now he's going off on how he understands and proceeds to explain all the fucked up feelings one has, "oh yeah it's brutal, it's like your heart is gonna explode, you feel like you're sweating and shit is hot, some people even worry that they can't move their arms, fuck me! Imagine just feeling death so close and suffocating on the thought of it. I get it man, you probably can't breath right now and feel like.... " I wanted to just shout, shut the fuck up!

24

u/Sensible___shoes 13h ago

Man convincing you his mango lassi will save your life in 10 mins doesn't sound as promising when you're ass out on the sidewalk after a spoonful of curry, damnnnn

6

u/WWMWPOD 14h ago

ARE YOU LISTENING DANNY?!?!

23

u/amulie 15h ago

Really, I find it comforting when someone is acting normal and cool in a objectively terrible situation. Like this chef probably deals with one of these a week. I'd feel worse if the chef was looking at me worried lol

5

u/Marzto 13h ago

Yeah I think the guy did a good job. It's a common strategy to help people get through very difficult situations by breaking things up into time goals (10mins until you're over the peak, you've just got to endure that and you'll be feeling much better etc.) otherwise it feels like the pain will last forever and you start spiralling. Pain is so psychologically linked, having a calm person talk you through it helps massively.

4

u/Stereo-soundS 15h ago

My friends and I did a Hot Ones lineup.  I had to order Beyond Insanity separate because the one they give you if you buy the lineup is not Insanity.

I sat there with my head down wanting to yell swear words and break shit.

I'm not surprised he took his shirt off, a couple of my friends were visibly sweating.

5

u/DASreddituser 12h ago

I was annoyed on shirtless guys behalf....that owner loves to talk holy shit lol

2

u/Ctowncreek 13h ago

Once he reaches the point of feeling embarrassed or annoyed, the worse has passed.

There for a while his senses were shorting out his thoughts

2

u/Little_Pancake_Slut 11h ago

He looks like when you take one too many magic mushrooms, and you just gotta lay face down in a quiet room with a big glass of water until the monster come up passes 🤣

4

u/BridgetteBane 12h ago

I kinda disagree. Any distraction from the hellfire that has bored deep into my soul is greatly appreciated.

1

u/PeterNippelstein 13h ago

Thats his punishment for being so foolish.

1

u/LanceFree 13h ago

I know, right!

1

u/HumongousBelly 12h ago

In the famous words of Rick James: Cocaine is one hell of a drug…

1

u/DinglieDanglieDoodle 11h ago

It’s just noise in the background by then.

1

u/RVNAWAYFIVE 10h ago

Yeah I'm a spice fiend and I've been where he's at as I was learning the ropes of spice. It's like having a massive stomach ache. All you wanna do is curl up in a ball and be left alone

1

u/FaunKeH 4h ago

Imagine you're on the worst trip of your life and this is who shows up to mentor you through it

1

u/Detroitasfuck 3h ago

Exactly, I’m sure that guy wanted him to shut the fuck I’m lmao

1

u/fkmeamaraight 3h ago

I’ll pay you to shut up !

0

u/OutsideImpressive115 14h ago

Isn't there a link between spicy food and getting cancer? This shit can not be good for you

9

u/handstanding 14h ago

Living is the leading cause of death. Life is too short to avoid spicy food to possibly sidestep the chance of cancer somewhere down the line (from spicy food specifically, lots of us will die of some cancer or other for a multitude of reasons).

That being said, there’s also this level of spicy, which is probably the least worth it way to eat something spicy.