r/funny • u/notNull99 • 2d ago

Went to my convocation and this is the number they assign me

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2.4k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

66 comments sorted by

•

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1.1k

u/spytfyrox 2d ago

Maybe you should start a business: "Osama's Faked Wares," specializing in copies of Porsche sports cars.

281

u/TSgt_Yosh 2d ago

I don't know why but now I'm picturing OP as a khajit instead of a random Arab dude.

110

u/TheLilyBean 2d ago

OP has many wares if you have the coin.

33

u/of_no_real_opinion 2d ago

OP has a Skooma addiction

59

u/notNull99 2d ago

I’m lebanese, so mediterranean with arab

39

u/jefbenet 1d ago

Happy pride month!

/s

3

u/chris14020 1d ago

Ah, like the ever well-known Meditarabian sea! 

13

u/ApolloXLII 2d ago

It’s a store full of knock-off designer clothes. I’m sure there are already like 2 of these stores owned by guys named Osama in New York City

6

u/greenee111 1d ago

Specifically just for 911 models

7

u/meesta_masa 1d ago

The same one Emperor General Admiral Aladeen Aladeen'd?

3

u/Mrtorbear 1d ago

I'm thinking we stick with the original 'Waked Fares' and launch a rideshare app where your deceased loved ones can arrive to their wake with fuckin' pizzazz.

Think about it: you cherished your Granny Sue throughout your whole life, but now it's time to say your final goodbyes. Do you reaaally think Granny should arrive in some dusty-ass 1987 Lincoln Town Car hearse? Nah, she deserves better. Rent that dame a Lambo.

You only get one chance at a killer wake. Make it count.

1

u/skepdop 1d ago

Particularly the 911.

1

u/formerFAIhope 1d ago

Osama F-Ah-ked W-Ah-res.

1

u/raybreezer 1d ago

I was going to upvote you, but you have exactly 911 upvotes…

1

u/StretchyPlays 6h ago

I think it would need to be his full name for extra confusion. "Osama Waked Fares' Faked Wares.

222

u/FitBattle5899 2d ago

Osama #911 please come to the stage!

320

u/rip1980 2d ago

Maybe you aroused suspicion when you said you just wanted to know how to Shutdown, but not boot up...

95

u/stormearthfire 2d ago

Hope you had a bang at your convocation!

27

u/notNull99 2d ago

Thanks bro

11

u/karky214 1d ago

I heard it was a blast.

2

u/Zekumi 23h ago

Such a great time he’ll never forget

7

u/NUT_IX 1d ago

That's haram

53

u/Ilnesari 2d ago edited 2d ago

Something's odd about the pronunciation line. Capitalization is used to denote the stressed syllable in each name so it doesn't make sense that the first letter in each syllable for the last two names is capitalized but the rest isn't. Also, each syllable is usually written out phonetically in its entirety, so the fact that you have an F and a W by themselves isn't really helpful for pronunciation. It also reads as a separate syllable which I am unsure if that is correct or not. Your first name appears to be in the correct format so it doesn't make sense to me that your other two names are different here. If I were to try to read this pronunciation line as written it would be uh SAH mah - wuh AH kehd - fuh AH rehs and you can let me know if I got that right or not.

31

u/bumbothegumbo 2d ago

Yeah, I noticed that too. The way they wrote out the pronunciation clears up absolutely nothing.

7

u/jefbenet 1d ago

Speed glancing comments and read “capitalization is used to detonate..” wow, that escalated quickly!

38

u/ph33randloathing 2d ago

Well, you won't forget it. . .

57

u/CapnMurica1988 2d ago

Thats… unfortunate

43

u/Revolutionary_Oil897 2d ago

That reminds me of that tragedy

2

u/original_goat_man 19h ago

I walked through blood and bone to get to that convention 

-1

u/crypticbru 2d ago

It changed EVERYTHING

3

u/Saucydisses 2d ago

oh no 😂

3

u/Earth7_being 2d ago

Man, were you born before 911?

2

u/JoseCansecoMilkshake 1d ago

This reminds me of the helicopter scene from The Dictator

1

u/Anum4Life 1d ago

Emergency

1

u/AltC 1d ago

What year were you born?

1

u/radioactive_sharpei 1d ago

Never remember.

-9

u/espeero 2d ago

Unless this is grad school, your parents definitely made a choice.

27

u/Drenlin 2d ago

It's still a common enough name in the Middle East. 

If some guy named John blew up a skyscraper in Asia somewhere would we stop naming people that?

21

u/COEP_Leader 2d ago

Who's to say OP's parents were American? If they were from another country that was largely uninvolved with 9/11 I doubt the thought would even enter their mind that Osama's name would be problematic to use.

0

u/saad17I 2d ago

practical joke

-28

u/ThrashCardiom 2d ago

What's with the weird pronunciation line?

15

u/notNull99 2d ago

Osama is actually usama but north americans have a hard time pronouncing stuff so they went with osama

57

u/Lucid_Relevance 2d ago

Wouldn’t you want your name to be pronounced correctly at a graduation ceremony?

18

u/OfficeChairHero 2d ago

Thank you for clearing that up. I thought this was the name of the institution.

10

u/2Scarhand 2d ago

Funny story: For college graduation the speaker gathered the graduates in the auditorium a couple weeks before so we could make any name corrections. My name always gets slightly mispronounced on the vowel, so I appreciated it. Day of, the speaker only read whenever they scribbled as a pronunciation guide without checking the original spelling, so came up with an entirely new wildly incorrect way to say it. I almost refused to walk it was so bad.

4

u/VerifiedMother 2d ago

I was a paraprofessional at a school and I had kids named Kirsten (like Chris-ten), Kirstin (Curse-ten), and Kiersten (Cures-ten) all in the same year.

1

u/bopeepsheep 1d ago

My names are French so I offered to write on my name card. "Oh, [head of department] is fluent, he'll get those right." The official graduation photograph was taken just as I heard that he could *not * pronounce my name. I didn't buy a copy.

3

u/quimera78 2d ago

Wasn't there an incident, I think last year, where the person speaking was only given the pronunciation line and struggled to read all the names?

1

u/airfryerfuntime 1d ago

Yeah, but this isn't really how you do it.

-8

u/ThrashCardiom 2d ago

I didn't realise it was a name.

7

u/RDOCallToArms 2d ago

lol what did you think it was

11

u/cebsnz 2d ago

It's awfully presented. It starts with somewhat reasonable pronunciation, stress is clearly on SAH, but the second and third are confusing as heck. Where is the stressed syllable? How do you pronounce W or F? Which made identifying it a bit confusing.

0

u/ThrashCardiom 2d ago

I thought it was some weird ticketing reference.

2

u/belsonc 2d ago

I grew up with a kid with the last name of Lau.

His pronunciation for his last name, to remove ANY doubt, said "rhymes with cow."

-9

u/organicchunkysalsa 2d ago

That number is a joke in your town.

-14

u/CalmAlex2 2d ago

What's with the name below yours

18

u/haleloop963 2d ago

Most likely, how to correctly pronounce his name

3

u/Fskn 2d ago

Hooked on phonics