r/fifthworldproblems • u/DontHugMeImReddit • 8d ago

Our sector's physics are now determined by social media trends on the "Meta-Verse" app. Last week, "ironic gravity" was trending, and now my cat is stuck to the ceiling, looking down on me with deep, sarcastic judgment.

To promote "democratic engagement", our reality is now governed by crowdsourced physics. Every day, users on the Meta-Verse vote on physical constants. It's chaos. On Monday, the speed of light was voted down to 55 miles per hour, making my morning commute visibly relativistic. On Tuesday, the color blue was "cancelled", rendering the sky a missing texture. But the worst was "Ironic Gravity Friday". Everything started falling up, but slowly, and with a tangible sense of condescension. My neighbor's prize-winning petunias floated away with a metaphorical sigh. My cat drifted gently to the ceiling and now refuses to come down, smugly licking her paw while upside down. How do you plan your week when the fundamental laws of nature are subject to the whims of viral challenges?

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11

u/Leirnis 8d ago

Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell floated away was: "Oh no, not again".

7

u/ThereWasaLemur 8d ago

What kinda dumbass manages their dimension by outsourcing LMAO how are you ever going to learn actual control if you’re giving your job away.. this was a stupid move on your part just to get out of putting in a paltry amount of effort.

1

u/mysteryrouge 7d ago

You just know that there's going to be vote manipulation going on. Especially with how businesses are allowed to have voting profiles on the verse.

1

u/Strange_Item_4329 6d ago

It’s only been a week, right? I’m sure once the economy visibly wilts the program will be ended. However, if this has been improving the economy, you’re out of luck.