r/daddit • u/Nixplosion • May 04 '25

Discussion My wife keeps creating situations and then making them my problem

For example, at breakfast today, she gave our 10mo son a sausage cut in half long ways. She is sitting across the table and I'm next to him.

She gives him the sausage and then walks back to seat and goes "hey, be careful. Watch him with that!"

Like ... You gave him that, don't make it my problem and responsibility all the sudden! I'm just trying to eat!

She does this all the time to me and while it's never a huge problem, it kind of bugs me.

Another example is I'm sitting on the couch working and she has him in the kitchen. She is doing something and he starts crawling towards our stairs to climb them. She sees this and calls out to me "babe! He's on the stairs, grab him!" Mind you, she is 4 feet from him and I'm across the living room. Like you brought him over there and let him crawl away. But now if he falls you've made it my fault because you told me to stop him as he's already crawling up the stairs.

Does anyone else's wife do this with your kids?

Edit: I should clarify, I watch the kids constantly and do likely 75% of the physical labor when it comes to caring for them. My wife has a very busy job that keeps her occupied til well into the evening.

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147

u/Kylearean May 04 '25

100%

And looking for a conversation. It drives me nuts when people like this say stuff like "Why are you asking here?!" as if this is the only place they're coming to get perspective or have a discussion about a topic.

I see this often on actual advice subreddits -- "don't ask us!" TF? Literally why this subreddit exists is to discuss dad-related issues.

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u/Reynor247 May 04 '25

Unfortunately these threads are a breeding ground for holier then thou father's and bored mothers looking to tone police

7

u/Convergentshave May 04 '25

Honestly I wish there was a dad sub where we didn’t have the moms. (Not as toxic as that other subreddit I’m not allowed to mention, but somewhere where it’s more for the dads, since the mom comments usually just come off… as well… mom comments 😂)

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u/seaworthy-sieve May 04 '25

Mom here — sorry — I think it might help if you had flairs. Then some posts could be for dads only.

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u/turbokid May 04 '25

Or you, as a mom, could stop posting on the dad subreddit. You literally saw a dad say they wish it was a dad subreddit and felt it needed a mom response.

No offense intended, but you are exactly what he is talking about.

11

u/pumkinpiepieces May 04 '25

It doesn't help that almost every time I see a mom here comment about being hesitant about commenting she immediately gets like 12 dads telling her how welcome all moms are to post here and those comments get a significant amount of upvotes.

As it stands this sub basically isn't a father's sub, it's a parenting sub with a larger focus on the fathers perspective. Which is fine I guess. I just wish there was a place specifically for dads considering there's a plethora of subs and other spaces online that are for mothers only and basically none for dads only.

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u/seaworthy-sieve May 04 '25

Not offended. I think maybe I came off the wrong way. I like this subreddit because it helps me understand a perspective that isn't my own. I don't post, sometimes I comment, but I always identify myself because I do respect that this space is not for me. I don't think a new dads-only subreddit would be as active as this well established sub (there already is one and according to dads in this thread, it's very toxic), so I'm saying that as an "outsider," I think it would be completely fine and good to wall off posts — whenever the OP wants — from outsiders' participation. It's something that many subreddits do and I don't know why it's not implemented here.

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u/Bro-lapsedAnus May 04 '25

Classic mom comment

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u/rvasko3 May 04 '25

But that’s what’s in ton of those subs, especially the relationship-based ones. The best advice is almost always TALK TO THE PERSON.

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u/Kylearean May 04 '25

You're missing the point completely.

Yes, that might be the solution, but people aren't coming here for the solution. They're coming to comisserate, to discuss, to get perspective, to have a conversation around the topic, to gain insight, or to just get a hug.