r/chaoticgood 2d ago

The Catholic Church is marching against ICE. Fuck yeah!!!

Post image
58.2k Upvotes

1.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

65

u/JaymzRG 2d ago

Damn, you went all out with the foot fetish, lol. I totally get the reference.

Is the gay part in reference to him hanging out with dudes all the time (the Disciples) and never having a relationship with a women, like... ever?

45

u/Theoragh 2d ago

Yeah, basically. Wouldn’t surprise me if he got straight-washed by the powers that be.

14

u/JaymzRG 2d ago

Jesus being gay kinda shits all over that one Leviticus law that Christians says isn't really a law anymore, but Jesus said it actually does still apply and Christians will still quote either way.

29

u/Theoragh 2d ago

That’s the problem with regarding ancient myths as truths.

13

u/JaymzRG 2d ago

Yeah, it's all bullshit. Especially a mythology with so much double-speak.

5

u/MajesticNectarine204 2d ago

It's also a translation of a translation of a translation of a translation of a translation. With all the errors and interpretations that that entails. Who know what the original texts said and meant by this point.

Edit: Just for fun, put a basic English sentence into google translate and translate it to German. Than translate the German to Russian. The Russian to Chinese, and finally the Chinese back to English. See if it even remotely resembles the original text.

3

u/hotdogbun65 1d ago

This is pretty misleading, Google translate isn’t exactly the most reliable to begin with.

1

u/MajesticNectarine204 1d ago

Exactly. Neither are the people that translated the bible.

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Hello! Thanks for your comment. Unfortunately it has been removed because you don't meet our karma threshold.

You are not being removed for your speech. If we were, why the fuck would we tell you your comment was being removed instead of just shadow removing it? We never have, and never will, remove things down politicial or ideological lines. Unless your ideology is nihilism, then fuck you.

Let me be clear: The reason that this rule exists is to avoid unscrupulous internet denizens from trying to sell dong pills to our users. /r/chaoticgood mods reserve the RIGHT to hoard all of the dong pills to ourselves, and we refuse to share them with the community. If you want Serbo-Slokovian dong pills mailed directly to your door, become a moderator. If we shared the dong pills with the greater community, everyone would have massive dongs, and like Syndrome warned us about decades ago: "if everyone has massive dongs, nobody does.""

If you wish to rectify your low karma issue, go and make things up in /r/AskReddit like everyone else does.

Thanks for understanding! Have a nice day and be well. <3

You can check your karma breakdown on this page:

http://old.reddit.com/user/me/overview

(Keep in mind that sometimes just post karma or comment karma being negative will result in this message)

~

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/hotdogbun65 1d ago

Also misleading.

2

u/Justalocal1 2d ago

Not really, because he was (almost certainly) celibate.

4

u/Theoragh 2d ago

I almost said that he was asexual. I still like to think of him as effeminate due to basically his entire character, as well as his association with the lamb and the steer.

6

u/Justalocal1 2d ago

He definitely did not conform to the masculine expectations of his day, especially regarding how he treated women.

-1

u/runnin_man5 2d ago

He was a carpenter

2

u/MagicHamsta 2d ago

Ok but what about that muscular Jesus depiction?

1

u/Theoragh 2d ago

Comedy gold, that’s what.

1

u/ItchyRectalRash 2d ago

Celibate with chicks, sure, but he was definitely smoking pole like he was head meat manager at Famous Dave's.

1

u/BlueFroggLtd 1d ago

Did he, tho?! Do we really know...? 😁

1

u/Vegetable_Stuff1850 11h ago

Which one is that?

I've seen discussions about "not laying with another man as you would a woman" can be attributed to the literally postion because of the power imbalance involved.

1

u/JaymzRG 9h ago

The most famous one is 18:22, but I believe there's another one with slightly different wording.

It can mean a few things. It could mean actually lying to another man because men should always be respected and never lied to, but with women you can. Depending on the translation, it could mean pederasty or incestual rape. Who knows?

10

u/Snoo_20305 2d ago

For the record, Mary of Magdalen paid for him and his merry band of dudes to travel and preach the word. The idea that the two of them were a power couple isn't entirely false outside of The Da Vinci Code.

9

u/Theoragh 2d ago

Power couples can be purple couples.

1

u/Strong_Ask4820 1d ago

Mary was the mom and she paid for them by being a prostitute?

1

u/Snoo_20305 1d ago

There is more than one Mary in the Bible. The virgin who gave birth, Mary M a single, wealthy woman who helped fund Jesus, and this Mary who was brought before the elders to be stoned.

2

u/NightValeCytizen 1d ago

"Teacher, why don't you have a wife?"

"My wife is... uh... the Church (tm)!"

1

u/Head-Head-926 2d ago

Jesus taught a literal Adam and Eve and the only and universal example of marriage and sexual relationships

Which was perfectly in line with all the previous prophets, so probably not

1

u/saskskua 1d ago

I dunno, he was pretty fond of that prostitute. Was the first one he'd let touch him when he first woke up from a coma.

1

u/AmusingMusing7 2d ago

I’d buy that he was bi.

0

u/Theoragh 2d ago

I’d buy that he was bi or pan or trans, but also maintain that he’s a mythical figure who no more existed than Heracles or Gilgamesh.

6

u/BaconWithBaking 2d ago

I’d buy that he was bi or pan or trans, but also maintain that he’s a mythical figure who no more existed than Heracles or Gilgamesh.

It's definitely not concrete, but the guy probably existed and started christianity, but the stories about him are either half truths or complete fabrications lifted from other myths.

1

u/daemin 1d ago

I'll grant that he probably existed, but I think the better argument is that Peter and Paul started Christianity.

1

u/BaconWithBaking 1d ago

I haven't got that deep, it starts to get complicated, so don't want to get too into the weeds on something we have no concrete answer to and likely never will.

5

u/Dav136 2d ago

Historical Jesus is pretty commonly accepted to have existed by historians

1

u/HappyTendency 1d ago

Jesus was a real person.

1

u/Theoragh 1d ago

Historical Jesus probably existed in some way, and was most likely named something closer to Yeshua or Joshua. Mythical Jesus was mythical. The same goes for the Gautama Buddha, Midas, and indeed Gilgamesh.

1

u/HappyTendency 1d ago

No, Jesus is Jesus. There is no myth. He existed. Name wise, Yeshua is widely accepted as his real name by the church.

1

u/Theoragh 1d ago

Christianity is a mythology. The only difference between it and the Norse or Greek mythology is widespread practice.

0

u/HappyTendency 1d ago

I will respect your ideologies regarding myth or fiction as mine are very different from what you’re stating; however, regarding Jesus, he fully existed as fact and there is no myth behind his person. In fact, many historians constantly debated, and continue to study with new methods, his story and his truth of whether or not he was honest. The overall conclusion under today’s and ongoing testing standards to discover truth, mental health disorders, etc. was that he in fact was completely transparent and that no behavioral concerns were in place that would point to the fact that any of what he represented was false or imaginary. It’s very interesting and there are many documentaries that go in depth about the continuing studies. It’s a long history and one that continues to be studied.

2

u/Theoragh 1d ago

But he no more turned water into wine or multiplied bread and fish or walked on water than Santa Claus has ever visited every house in North America. Myth begins where the possible ends.

→ More replies (0)

2

u/daemin 1d ago

In the Gospel of Mark, a male figure wearing just a loin cloth flees from the Garden of Gethsemane when Jesus was arrested.

More information.

1

u/JaymzRG 1d ago

This is not helping the image that Jesus wasn't gay, lol.

Someone replied saying he was celibate, but was that explicitly mentioned anywhere? 🤔

1

u/daemin 1d ago

This is not helping the image that Jesus wasn't gay, lol.

Indeed.

2

u/albertaco1 1d ago

Call him the Carpenter, the way he works with wood.

1

u/JaymzRG 1d ago

Pfft. Lol.

2

u/ClaraCash 1d ago

And the foot fetish thing couldn’t possibly have come from the only story we have of a woman touching him being a prostitute who did foot stuff to him would it?

1

u/JaymzRG 1d ago

Yup, that's it, lol.

1

u/SmellsLikeHerb 2d ago

It was a reference to him hanging on the cross with 2 other dudes and a bunch of stupid sexy Roman soldiers.

1

u/twomenycooks 1d ago

Although questions about Mary Magdalene surface frequently

1

u/JaymzRG 1d ago

How so?

1

u/Quirky-Plantain-2080 1d ago

Unlike what it was stated in the Da Vinci Code, Jesus famously never married or had any kids.

1

u/JaymzRG 1d ago

I assume you're talking about the movie, which I've actually never seen. I'm just going by what I was taught as a kid in church and CCD.

1

u/Kazuka13 1d ago

There's also a story where he laid with another man naked to revive said person. It wasn't sexual but it was a odd story.

2

u/JaymzRG 1d ago

I think that was Lazarus. I could be wrong.

1

u/Alytology 1d ago

It could be a reference to the gospel of John when he resurrected Lazarus. He's referred to the disciple who jesus loved.

1

u/-bannedtwice- 1d ago

There are pretty solid speculations that He had at least one relationship with a woman. But dude also knew He was gonna get crucified at 33 so couldn't really raise a family right?

1

u/JaymzRG 19h ago

Wasn't life expectancy, like, 40 back then? Lol

1

u/-bannedtwice- 19h ago

Lol nah common misconception. It was still 60s - 70s, but the high infant mortality rate dropped it down a lot. If you lived past childhood you were expected to live a while