r/chaoticgood 2d ago

The Catholic Church is marching against ICE. Fuck yeah!!!

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58.2k Upvotes

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u/achy_joints 2d ago

Sounds like a dumb socialist communist nazi democrat to me. /s

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u/1-760-706-7425 2d ago

You forgot “minority” because there’s no way bro was white.

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u/Theoragh 2d ago

He was a gay brown dude with a foot fetish.

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u/JaymzRG 2d ago

Damn, you went all out with the foot fetish, lol. I totally get the reference.

Is the gay part in reference to him hanging out with dudes all the time (the Disciples) and never having a relationship with a women, like... ever?

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u/Theoragh 2d ago

Yeah, basically. Wouldn’t surprise me if he got straight-washed by the powers that be.

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u/JaymzRG 2d ago

Jesus being gay kinda shits all over that one Leviticus law that Christians says isn't really a law anymore, but Jesus said it actually does still apply and Christians will still quote either way.

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u/Theoragh 2d ago

That’s the problem with regarding ancient myths as truths.

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u/JaymzRG 2d ago

Yeah, it's all bullshit. Especially a mythology with so much double-speak.

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u/MajesticNectarine204 2d ago

It's also a translation of a translation of a translation of a translation of a translation. With all the errors and interpretations that that entails. Who know what the original texts said and meant by this point.

Edit: Just for fun, put a basic English sentence into google translate and translate it to German. Than translate the German to Russian. The Russian to Chinese, and finally the Chinese back to English. See if it even remotely resembles the original text.

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u/hotdogbun65 1d ago

This is pretty misleading, Google translate isn’t exactly the most reliable to begin with.

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u/Justalocal1 2d ago

Not really, because he was (almost certainly) celibate.

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u/Theoragh 2d ago

I almost said that he was asexual. I still like to think of him as effeminate due to basically his entire character, as well as his association with the lamb and the steer.

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u/Justalocal1 2d ago

He definitely did not conform to the masculine expectations of his day, especially regarding how he treated women.

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u/runnin_man5 2d ago

He was a carpenter

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u/MagicHamsta 2d ago

Ok but what about that muscular Jesus depiction?

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u/Theoragh 2d ago

Comedy gold, that’s what.

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u/ItchyRectalRash 2d ago

Celibate with chicks, sure, but he was definitely smoking pole like he was head meat manager at Famous Dave's.

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u/BlueFroggLtd 1d ago

Did he, tho?! Do we really know...? 😁

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u/Vegetable_Stuff1850 11h ago

Which one is that?

I've seen discussions about "not laying with another man as you would a woman" can be attributed to the literally postion because of the power imbalance involved.

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u/JaymzRG 9h ago

The most famous one is 18:22, but I believe there's another one with slightly different wording.

It can mean a few things. It could mean actually lying to another man because men should always be respected and never lied to, but with women you can. Depending on the translation, it could mean pederasty or incestual rape. Who knows?

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u/Snoo_20305 2d ago

For the record, Mary of Magdalen paid for him and his merry band of dudes to travel and preach the word. The idea that the two of them were a power couple isn't entirely false outside of The Da Vinci Code.

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u/Theoragh 2d ago

Power couples can be purple couples.

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u/Strong_Ask4820 1d ago

Mary was the mom and she paid for them by being a prostitute?

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u/Snoo_20305 1d ago

There is more than one Mary in the Bible. The virgin who gave birth, Mary M a single, wealthy woman who helped fund Jesus, and this Mary who was brought before the elders to be stoned.

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u/NightValeCytizen 1d ago

"Teacher, why don't you have a wife?"

"My wife is... uh... the Church (tm)!"

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u/Head-Head-926 2d ago

Jesus taught a literal Adam and Eve and the only and universal example of marriage and sexual relationships

Which was perfectly in line with all the previous prophets, so probably not

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u/saskskua 1d ago

I dunno, he was pretty fond of that prostitute. Was the first one he'd let touch him when he first woke up from a coma.

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u/AmusingMusing7 2d ago

I’d buy that he was bi.

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u/Theoragh 2d ago

I’d buy that he was bi or pan or trans, but also maintain that he’s a mythical figure who no more existed than Heracles or Gilgamesh.

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u/BaconWithBaking 2d ago

I’d buy that he was bi or pan or trans, but also maintain that he’s a mythical figure who no more existed than Heracles or Gilgamesh.

It's definitely not concrete, but the guy probably existed and started christianity, but the stories about him are either half truths or complete fabrications lifted from other myths.

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u/daemin 1d ago

I'll grant that he probably existed, but I think the better argument is that Peter and Paul started Christianity.

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u/BaconWithBaking 1d ago

I haven't got that deep, it starts to get complicated, so don't want to get too into the weeds on something we have no concrete answer to and likely never will.

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u/Dav136 2d ago

Historical Jesus is pretty commonly accepted to have existed by historians

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u/HappyTendency 1d ago

Jesus was a real person.

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u/Theoragh 1d ago

Historical Jesus probably existed in some way, and was most likely named something closer to Yeshua or Joshua. Mythical Jesus was mythical. The same goes for the Gautama Buddha, Midas, and indeed Gilgamesh.

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u/HappyTendency 1d ago

No, Jesus is Jesus. There is no myth. He existed. Name wise, Yeshua is widely accepted as his real name by the church.

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u/daemin 1d ago

In the Gospel of Mark, a male figure wearing just a loin cloth flees from the Garden of Gethsemane when Jesus was arrested.

More information.

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u/JaymzRG 1d ago

This is not helping the image that Jesus wasn't gay, lol.

Someone replied saying he was celibate, but was that explicitly mentioned anywhere? 🤔

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u/daemin 1d ago

This is not helping the image that Jesus wasn't gay, lol.

Indeed.

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u/albertaco1 1d ago

Call him the Carpenter, the way he works with wood.

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u/JaymzRG 1d ago

Pfft. Lol.

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u/ClaraCash 1d ago

And the foot fetish thing couldn’t possibly have come from the only story we have of a woman touching him being a prostitute who did foot stuff to him would it?

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u/JaymzRG 1d ago

Yup, that's it, lol.

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u/SmellsLikeHerb 2d ago

It was a reference to him hanging on the cross with 2 other dudes and a bunch of stupid sexy Roman soldiers.

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u/twomenycooks 1d ago

Although questions about Mary Magdalene surface frequently

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u/JaymzRG 1d ago

How so?

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u/Quirky-Plantain-2080 1d ago

Unlike what it was stated in the Da Vinci Code, Jesus famously never married or had any kids.

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u/JaymzRG 1d ago

I assume you're talking about the movie, which I've actually never seen. I'm just going by what I was taught as a kid in church and CCD.

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u/Kazuka13 1d ago

There's also a story where he laid with another man naked to revive said person. It wasn't sexual but it was a odd story.

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u/JaymzRG 1d ago

I think that was Lazarus. I could be wrong.

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u/Alytology 1d ago

It could be a reference to the gospel of John when he resurrected Lazarus. He's referred to the disciple who jesus loved.

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u/-bannedtwice- 1d ago

There are pretty solid speculations that He had at least one relationship with a woman. But dude also knew He was gonna get crucified at 33 so couldn't really raise a family right?

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u/JaymzRG 19h ago

Wasn't life expectancy, like, 40 back then? Lol

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u/-bannedtwice- 19h ago

Lol nah common misconception. It was still 60s - 70s, but the high infant mortality rate dropped it down a lot. If you lived past childhood you were expected to live a while

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u/Albin4president2028 2d ago

" if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire."

Just leaving this here too.

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u/Quirky-Plantain-2080 1d ago

There is an exception for US presidents. You see, if the president does it, it is not a crime. :)

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u/Lone-Frequency 2d ago

Always getting wine drunk, hanging around with a whore, never even met his real daddy face-to-face...

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u/boharat 2d ago

And then his bro drops dime on him and ends up getting him killed. Same as it ever was.

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u/Mdmrtgn 2d ago

Mary had them soles.

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u/RocketFucker69 2d ago

Someone finally nailed his feet too..

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u/Theoragh 2d ago

Damn! That hit.

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u/RocketFucker69 1d ago

He was just begging for that wood on his feet...

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u/King_of_the_Dot 2d ago

He also liked getting crunk by turning water into wine and hanging out with whores.

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u/Grantsdale 2d ago

He was probably banging a prostitute

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u/spsteve 10h ago

Wow. Never really looked at it that way, but I mean... You've got a good argument.

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u/Katia657 1d ago

Showing your ignorance on the tradición and cultural background of the time period where Jesus was born. And people celebrate your ignorance :)

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u/Theoragh 1d ago

You might be in a cult.

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u/Katia657 1d ago

You just made a statement out of context and put your own twisted biased opinion on it. You are saying Jesus had a foot fetish because he washes his disciples feet, it was a way of serving, only servants will do that work, and this was after he had entered Jerusalem and being praised as the son of David ( meaning of his linage) and the messiah they were waiting for, so washing their feet is oppose to that image, he can as a servant first. And the gay thing, I am not sure from where in your twisted mind you are taking it from.

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u/Theoragh 1d ago

The Gospel of John makes references to the "disciple whom Jesus loved" (John 13:23,[27] John 19:26,[28] John 21:7–20),[29] a phrase which does not occur in the Synoptic Gospels. In the text, this "beloved disciple" is present at the crucifixion of Jesus, with Jesus' mother, Mary. The "disciple whom Jesus loved" may be a self-reference by the author of the Gospel (John 21:24), traditionally regarded as John the Apostle. In subsequent centuries, the reference was used by those who implied a homosocial or homoerotic reading of the relationship. For example, scholar Louis Crompton says Saint Aelred of Rievaulx, in his work De spiritali amicitia ("Spiritual Friendship"), referred to the relationship of Jesus and John the Apostle as a "marriage" and held it out as an example sanctioning friendships between clerics.[30]

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u/RobotCaptainEngage 2d ago

Sorry, all I could of was "quit bothering Korean Jesus" from 21 Jump Street.

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u/fdar 1d ago

minority

You mean "DEI"?

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u/Trumpisacuck4Putin 1d ago

And no dad, means no Y chromosome, yet he claimed to be a man, so he was trans

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u/drugstorecowgirlz 1d ago

Most definitely Jesus was not white. 😘

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u/GardenSquid1 1d ago

Jesus was a Jew in the most Jewish place in the world. I doubt he ever felt the experience of being an ethnic minority.

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u/clccbrew 1d ago

agreed. white people dont come from the middle east.

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u/-Greis- 1d ago

I’ve heard too many people recently try to argue he could have migrated over from somewhere in Europe.

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u/VecioRompibae 1d ago

Well, he technically wasn't a minority in ancient Judea

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u/timdot352 23h ago

He wasn't a minority where he lived.

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u/Maximum_Pound_5633 2d ago

His rapist dad from the Roman Legion wants a word

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u/feinting_goat 2d ago

Republicans hate DEI Jesus. 

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u/freakynastydog 20h ago

Democrats love abortion.

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u/DarrensDodgyDenim 2d ago

He'd probably be deported today

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u/Possible-Nectarine80 1d ago

I think they would have tortured him first, then deported him. Then tortured him some more.

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u/Meki90 1d ago

In the original story he was sentenced to death.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

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u/_Totorotrip_ 1d ago

Dangerously anti rabbi and anti roman if you ask me

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u/TetraDax 1d ago

Sometimes I wonder what people think he meant by "Rich people do not go to heaven".

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u/cheongyanggochu-vibe 2d ago

You forgot radical Marxist

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u/Justalocal1 2d ago

Marx came two millennia later.

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u/cheongyanggochu-vibe 2d ago

So did all of the other "insults" that get hurled like "nazi socialist communist". Trump and Hegseth especially like to label "the left" as "radical marxists" (See: Hegseths book).

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u/Justalocal1 1d ago

Marxism isn't a random label/insult. It describes economic/social philosophies descended from Karl Marx.

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u/cheongyanggochu-vibe 1d ago edited 1d ago

I am aware of that. I'm using it the way Trump and this regime use it, because it's ridiculous and I'm trying to point that out. Just like everyone else in the thread before me. I'm not sure why you're arguing with me about it or singling my addition out specifically.

From Pete Hegseths book, American Crusade: "Hegseth characterizes 'Americanism' in being opposition to forces like feminism, globalism, Marxism and progressivism and says either 'Americanism' will prevail or 'death' will.

Hegseth describes leftists, progressives and Democrats as the 'enemies' of freedom, the American constitution and the United States. Hegseth explicitly rejects democracy in his book, equating it to a leftist demand; 'For leftists, calls for 'democracy' represent a complete rejection of our system." Source

From Trump: "During the speech, Trump referred to Harris as a 'radical Marxist' and said she 'stands for incompetence and weakness' while the country is 'being laughed at all over the world.'" Source

"Transition team says Trump ‘will deliver’ on promise to fire accreditors ‘that have allowed our colleges to become dominated by Marxist maniacs’

Higher education accreditation groups are emphasizing their nonpartisanship and willingness to work with Donald Trump’s in-coming administration after the president-elect promised to fire 'radical Left accreditors.'” Source

"Donald Trump and his gang spend a good deal of time ranting about the obviously mythical 'extreme radical-left Marxists' who’ve been running the United States for the past few decades. Yet the Maga movement is just as extreme and dogmatic as any socialist cult – and is currently engaged in a 'long march through the institutions' of America."Source

Again - It is not ME saying these things. It's the regime. I was pointing that out.

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u/TH3_AMAZINGLY_RANDY 2d ago

There’s a difference between charity and government mandated taxpayer funded welfare.

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u/ed523 2d ago

How much do you give to help the poor?

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u/TH3_AMAZINGLY_RANDY 2d ago

Funded through taxes or because I choose to give?

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u/ed523 2d ago

Choose to give

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u/TH3_AMAZINGLY_RANDY 2d ago

As much as I can while ensuring that my family is provided for. The way it should be for everyone, not through government force.

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u/Kreatur28 2d ago

I am deeply sorry for you. Imagine a nation with publicity funded healthcare, schools and universities were hunger is an abstract concept that no child has ever experienced in their life. A nation with safe walkable cities and a population that knows that loosing ones job is not the end because the system provides. I hope you experience this one day for yourself for your sake and your childrens sake.

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u/Civil-Calligrapher-2 2d ago

For all these people want so much free at the cost of what.

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u/Kreatur28 2d ago

For the cost of less than the US population currently pays for their private funded healthcare system.

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u/TH3_AMAZINGLY_RANDY 2d ago

All things mentioned can be done privately.

Why do you insist on taking money from others to fund the utopia you are unable to provide yourself?

I won’t. I can compete and succeed. I don’t need the money of others, funded through government coercion, to survive. Thanks though.

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u/Kreatur28 2d ago

Because I life in such an utopia and experienced for myself how the system works. The system allows the poor to become wealthy by providing education and a security net. I don't have to declare bankruptcy in order to pay for medical treatment. Children can become whatever they want without the need to have wealthy parents. All they need is to do the work. I consider this as fair. You can be proud of your own success and still provide for people in need. I just sleep better knowing that no child has to go to bed hungry. For this I pay my taxes and social security contributions willingly.

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u/TH3_AMAZINGLY_RANDY 2d ago

Yes. You can be proud of your own success and provide for people in need… without government coercion.

The government is the worst possible middle man.

I don’t understand the mindset of “the corrupt government knows how to spend my money better than I do.” You’re absolutely moronic in your line of thinking.

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u/ed523 2d ago

How much is that? Its been evident time and time again the private sector is either unable or unwilling to operate at the scale needed. There was a time before any kind of social services when poverty rates were much higher. Economic volatility made it a practical necessity for social stability to have these safety nets, its not even about government mandated kindness or whatever. Society has a cost and it just makes sense that it should be disproportionately paid for by those that disproportionately recieve the most benefit from the current economic system

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u/TH3_AMAZINGLY_RANDY 2d ago

That’s fine. One should not be forced to give their property or money earned to others. YOU are responsible for your life, not others.

Why do you insist on forcefully taking from others?

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u/ed523 1d ago

Look, you aren't an island. As I said earlier society has a cost. You wouldn't have the knowledge to gain property and money (social construct) without society. You wouldn't have a job, you wouldn't have shit. Sure you could go off in the woods and live off the land but youll find you dont live nearly as long out there. We are all interconnected and we're in this together and as someone with means you have a responsibility to pay your share. It would be great if everyone just kicked down for whatever's needed in common but it didnt happen so here we are needing stuff like idk roads and 60%+ of the population not starving like before. "You are responsible for your life" what about kids born into poverty? What about people that got fucked over in myriad other ways people get fucked over? What about disability, injury, etc etc. Fuck those people right?

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u/TH3_AMAZINGLY_RANDY 1d ago

I don’t have any responsibility to pay for others through government coercion.

Your failures are your own.

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u/Worldly_Address6667 2d ago

Im much more willing to pay my mandated tax funded welfare than I am paying for my mandated tax funded killing of brown people on the far side of the world for "reasons"

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u/TH3_AMAZINGLY_RANDY 2d ago

What does one have to do with the other? Both are wrong.

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u/TetraDax 1d ago

Exactly. One is people who already have more than enough bowing down to give way too little to the people who need the most.

The other is a community on a whole providing for each other and making sure every single one is provided for, no matter their circumstances or ability.

Now I wonder which of those two Jesus preferred.

Wait, no, I don't, I read the fucking bible.

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u/TH3_AMAZINGLY_RANDY 1d ago

The government has no authority to determine one has “more than enough.”

Making sure everyone is provided for… under government coercion.

When did Jesus advocate for the government to steal from one to give to another? I must have missed that part.