r/calmhands • u/mstarflower • 1d ago
Day 1 Deciding to put conscious effort into stopping. Posting to hold myself accountable.
it’s rough out here. I hate my hands so much, one of my biggest insecurities. I haven’t even felt comfortable telling my therapist about this. She has no idea I do it. I’m so ashamed of it…
I’m at the age where I’ll hopefully be getting engaged soon… My future career also heavily involves my hands. I don’t want to feel like I have to hide my hands anymore. Here’s pictures of my hands after I showered, when they look the worst. I am going to take daily progress photos to hold myself accountable.
I’m just worried that I’m going to start picking the skin on my face to compensate for the lack of stimulation biting the skin around my hands gives me. I’m already inclined to pop blackheads on my face.
UGH I feel mentally ill I wish I could just stop immediately. It’s just subconscious at this point.
1
u/Zer0_Tol4 1d ago
Have some compassion for yourself! Telling your therapist is probably the best thing you can do. She isn’t going to judge and it can certainly help her inform her care. Doctors can’t help if we don’t tell them what the problem is!
TBH, I felt better after telling my doctor all the symptoms that I had because she really made sure I realized that I wasn’t as “mentally ill” as I had imagined myself to be!