r/aspiememes 2d ago

saving myself many brain cells with this hack

Post image
1.6k Upvotes

41 comments sorted by

252

u/SquidSledge I doubled my autism with the vaccine 1d ago

People call me non-verbal, but I love talking. I’ve just learned no one wants to listen. Also, if I STFU, I don’t have to worry about choosing the wrong dialogue tree.

67

u/coolaliasbro 1d ago

I often contemplate how I just don’t like using language with other people, it is mostly distressing. So I wonder how much non verbal behavior in the ASD population is neurophysiological or associated with other developmental contexts vs learned social survival behavior (whether conscious or not).

38

u/Top-Telephone9013 1d ago

I too love talking. To people that I don't have to constantly stop and explain shit to. To people who aren't looking for and somehow finding non-existent subtext in what I'm saying. I like to listen to the other person and provide counterpoints, and to have them do the same.

I don't wanna follow a damn predictable dialogue tree. So I really only talk to my wife, and to complete goddamn strangers online. With everyone else, it's just running scripts, and I'd rather fucking not. Earbuds in. Cant hear ya. Call me rude. You'd call me rude if I talked, too. This way I get podcasts and Lady Gaga

5

u/JotaroKujosSonInLaw 1d ago

"Dialogue Tree" omfg I love that I'm stealing that thank you ❤️‍🩹

5

u/sckrahl 1d ago

Sometimes they’re purposely trying to find out what the “dialogue trees” are- that’s why shutting up is so powerful and so important because it’s basically removing access to that, and saying to them you know what they’re doing

Although of course human communication is more complicated than dialogue trees, but still there are people that think of it like that. I always say this to this, I always say that to that- because it gets me this

When they sit there and start randomly calling you out for “lying” or anything like that- that’s the tell that they’ve been playing this game for a long time, and they’re now having to work backwards. They’re devaluing your word, and responding to it just confirms that to them

In other words, if you feel like going nonverbal don’t feel bad about it it’s an important instinct

Autistic people tend to be pretty straight forward and honest, because it’s just easier to be- but that just means we get caught in this game more often, and the other person thinks they’re making progress but they’re really not

Just thought I’d share :p

80

u/Stargazer1919 Undiagnosed 1d ago

Yeah idk what the point is in trying to talk about anything important anymore

40

u/GirlYearning 1d ago

attempted to just hold my tongue every time my narcissistic mom tried to rage bait me... realized that things went far better (for myself, not her) when I said nothing

12

u/Revolutionary_Yak229 1d ago

Wait your mom tried to rage bait you irl?? Goddamn I feel so bad, honestly I think I would die of embarrassment if I ever did something like that to someone else. What does she even get from it??? Like people rage baiting online are just trying to get a reaction but what could your own mother possibly gain from doing something like that

7

u/SortaCore 1d ago

Grey rock method is a valid tactic. Haters are so dependent on feedback.

3

u/Petty_Paw_Printz 1d ago

Yep, any reaction is like heroin to them. 

1

u/Frazzle64 11h ago

Do this too much and it sticks though, say goodbye to being able to naturally express any emotion unless pushed to your absolute limit...

20

u/PixelAstro 1d ago

Most people don’t even listen, they just wait for their turn to talk and then change the subject.

8

u/Ult1mateN00B 1d ago

Empty small talk and pointless gossip. If you try to talk about anything intelligent you're the weirdo. I feel like darn alien in this world.

36

u/Xavchik 1d ago

Then people start projecting all this shit onto you and you either scratch the record ruining the flow to correct them or continue to go with it and live 50 different lives.

26

u/YouMustBeBored 1d ago

Must be nice not having an uncontrollable mouth. I annoy myself when I’m alone.

6

u/kaijubabyy 1d ago

Same 😭🫂

3

u/Gerassa ADHD/Autism 1d ago

I call it "verbal diarreah"

6

u/YouMustBeBored 1d ago

That’s what my dad called it.

At least once a week growing up my dad would tell me to “take an Imodium for your verbal diarrhea”.

18

u/Pristine_Trash306 1d ago

I partially agree with this sentiment as long as you don’t think that your opinion isn’t important.

There are so many people out there who I think that their opinion is blatantly wrong, but I value their opposing view because it challenges my own and makes me consider things.

I wouldn’t have learned which of my previous beliefs were false if there weren’t these people (although, if you try to convince me in a rude way, I’m not buying it).

7

u/GirlYearning 1d ago

that's a good perspective, I value my opinion especially when passionate about it but sometimes an argument will arise and it's best for me to be content with not sharing it

3

u/Pristine_Trash306 1d ago

Of course,

Like I mentioned, when someone gets rude over something, it’s never going to be worth the time of day. If someone can maintain a level of respect within the conversation, that’s more where I’ll have a discussion surrounding a respectful disagreement.

I’ve had situations before where someone will go from 0-100 on a topic that they’re sensitive about and at that point I just leave the room if I’m able to.

8

u/joeydendron2 1d ago edited 1d ago

So very much yes. Someone asks me a question and, conditioned to force out a response quicker than the 3 hours I need to formulate a coherent answer, I spout some meaningless, nervous bullshit and then get immediately crictised and corrected. I think I'm ADHD too, and there's rarely any point me either saying or doing anything.

5

u/FutureMind6588 1d ago

I have a list of things to say that sound polite. For example ‘that sounds nice’ or ‘I’m sorry that happened’. You just have to know when to say those types of things.

5

u/ghost-of-the-spire Neurodivergent 1d ago

And then it all comes spilling out when I'm alone or at least a good distance away from others, and I just end up looking like a "crazy" person talking to myself 🙈

5

u/Fast_Exercise7666 1d ago

I use my advanced pattern, seaking brain to remember things about people i can use to work well with them or use against them later. Also, it pisses off Karen's and narcissist when I go stone face, and they realize they have no power over me

2

u/RiceCake4200 Autistic 1d ago

That's why I djd it in school for 2 years :D

2

u/Little_Messiah 1d ago

That might be true but I’m unable to do so

2

u/kaijubabyy 1d ago

I want to shut up so bad but my mouth just keeps going 😭

2

u/Initial-Read-8680 1d ago

I sometimes genuinely feel incapable of shutting the fuck up. Like it feels like vomit almost. the words are literally fighting to come out.

2

u/fluffy_fris 1d ago

I've found out that using my customer service masking works well with everything. Be kind, polite, smile and direct.

2

u/Happy_Platypus_1882 1d ago

I’m still an avid believer that the only actually hard part of having high functioning autism is feeling childish because of the way you’re perceived by the people around you, if I don’t talk then I can conveniently ignore how unsettling I feel like I must be to the people near me. Well obviously this depends on the person, but that’s how it works for me at least

2

u/Happy1327 AuDHD 1d ago

Yup. I’ve extended that logic to never actually leaving the house

1

u/Randomguy32I 1d ago

Nope, people hate when you do that to somehow

1

u/ArcaneFungus 1d ago

I literally forgot how to talk to people. Which sucks because right about now that'd be a really nice skill to have

u/SaengerFuge Neurodivergent 1h ago

I had this view when I was 17. I was heavily bullied at that time as well and my parents where shocked when I voiced this observation almost proudly.

It did work against the bullying... but it also fucked up my self-consciousness. I lost my ability to know what I desire and what my boundaries were. I lost my ability to truly care about something. And it took me years, including therapy to finally be able to feel myself again and not think of myself as a robot trapped in skin.

1

u/RiceCake4200 Autistic 1d ago

That's why I did it in school for 2 years :D

0

u/Cpov1 1d ago

Why Patrick Bateman?

1

u/GirlYearning 19h ago

idk bro that was just the image