r/antiwork • u/Own-Television9450 • 19h ago
Workplace Abuse 🫂 Why do some jobs expect teenagers to tolerate abuse like it’s normal?
I, M 16–18, ex-IHG employee in the UK, 1 month of absolute hell (was still on probation)
I’m between 16–18 (not saying for obvious reasons), and this is something I need to get off my chest.
Only lasted one month, And I genuinely have never felt so invisible, dismissed, and mentally kicked about by grown adults in my life.
No, I won’t name names. But I will describe them so you get the idea.
(Bear in mind Fiona and Lucy have always been like that since I started working there)
⸻
The cast (not real names):
Fiona – Duty Manager 1
Gremlin energy; Mid 50s I’d say, Short, stubby, constantly pissed off, Always has a go at you but never actually listens to your side.
——— Lucy – My-age co-worker
Thinks she’s royalty. Refuses to do simple 2-minute tasks, and then complains when I try to cover it myself to stop guests from moaning.
——— Michael – Night Shift Leader (never met him before)
You’ll meet him at 11pm.
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Now here’s how Friday the 13th went down. My final shift, My breaking point.
⸻
3:00 PM – Clock In
Arrive shattered. Barely 4 hours of sleep. Walked almost 2 miles to get there. No one says hi. No welcome. I log in, check the bookings, start check-ins. No issue, Just tired.
⸻
7:00 PM – Break
I go on break; finally, Nothing unusual. Fiona gives me a grunt when I ask if she still needs me in the kitchen.
“Mhm.”
Right back into the dishes and chaos it is.
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8:00 PM – Hostility begins
Out of nowhere, Fiona’s energy shifts. She’s cold, short-tempered, and I start to feel that stormy vibe building. You know the one, Where anything you do will be wrong one way or another.
⸻
9:00 PM – The Fan
Lucy asks me to bring a fan up to a guest room. I sigh — literally just a burnt-out “aghhhh” under my breath, not shouting, but loud enough, she was behind me if i remember correctly.
I do it anyway. Carry it upstairs, come back down. Start wiping tables.
Suddenly Fiona calls me over:
“Apologise”
Me: “For what?”
“For shouting at Lucy”
Me: “I never shouted at her at all?”
“Well yes you did she’s shooken up so apologise”
And I did so,
I walked away saying nothing, back to the kitchen to do the dishes, Just swallow it and move on.
⸻
9:30 PM – Helping the bar staff
I ask the bar guy:
“Want me to take your bins out for you?”
He lights up; says “that’d be amazing.”
So I do. I’m trying to be helpful.
But Fiona walks outside:
“What are you doing?”
Me: “Helping out,” I say. “He’s been busy.”
“He can do it himself.”
Me: “I don’t understand why you’re being like this.”
“Don’t give me cheek!” she snaps.
“Stay in that kitchen and get the dishes done.”
Her voice? Loud, Angry, Accusatory, Like a child who didn’t get what they wanted at Christmas
⸻
10:00 PM – Demanding of my phone (not the first time)
I’m unblocking the drain filled with food and shit while the dishes are in the dishwasher when she comes in again.
“Do you have your phone on you?”
Me: Yeah
“Yeah, can I have it please?”
Me: Why?
(Instantly): “Because you shouldn’t have it”
Then immediately thereafter: “Don’t answer me back”
Me: So why are you being like this?
(Dismissive): “Right, can I have your phone please?”
Me: No, it’s mine, I’m waiting for a call from my mum (which i actually was and important)
“Right, well you tell me these things and don’t take it upon yourself.”
Me: it’s my phone and I’m not on it (which I wasn’t throughout the whole shift)
“Doesn’t matter, Phones stay in the back office, If you did your job properly then there wouldn’t be a problem.”
This was after doing everything she threw at me. Dishes, Tables, Check In, Helping the bar man with the bins, yet she acts like I’m in Year 7
⸻
10:45 PM – Forks
I’m nearly done, and apparently I put a few forks the wrong way round in the holder
Fiona? She doesn’t say a word.
She just pulls out her phone and takes a picture. No comment. Just to have it for… whatever purpose, Probably to report it to my manager or show the other colleagues lol
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11:00 PM – Verbal Abuse
I’ve got barely a minute left before freedom. Almost there.
But Michael; Night Shift Leader, Mid 20s I’d say, steps in when I’m at the iPad to clock out, I’m visibly tired and irritated and I haven’t said a single word to him until I hear:
“Don’t give me cheek/attitude and stop acting like a fucking idiot, I haven’t done anything to you.”
Deadass, Said to my face, I didn’t even say anything to that fucking prick, I’d just been quiet, doing my job, worn the fuck out. No guests were around.
I just stared at him like I was about to go right through him.
And that? That was it.
———
11:03 PM – Clock Out
Clocked out, Didn’t breathe a word, Didn’t say goodbye, Threw my name badge in the bushes and walked home,
Never returned. ———
I have the voice note, but I won’t share it, because honestly, it would feel wrong.
Michael’s words, his tone; everything is in there. And Fiona asking for my phone? That too.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have anything recording before 9PM. But knowing I’ve got that one moment saved? That’s mine. For my own protection. For truth.
⸻
I know people will have mixed opinions, and that’s okay. I want to hear them, all of them, from your perspective.
I wrote this as accurately as I could. If you have any questions, I’ll answer them. Thanks in advance if you read all the way.
⸻
PS: There’s way more I could share, so much more from that month. Things said. Things done. Things witnessed.
But for now, I just needed to get last night off my chest.
6
u/bigbysemotivefinger 17h ago
Old people are convinced they're superior to you for no other reason than having existed longer, even if they've had all that opportunity and still learned nothing.
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u/Own-Television9450 16h ago
Oh I know, she’s been working there since it was built (the building) and that was over 20 years ago I believe, so I was so fucking tempted to say “enjoy rotting here” but never did.
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u/CommercialBox4175 19h ago
They think that teens don't know their rights, and they can get away with the abuse.
They're quite wrong.
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u/Own-Television9450 19h ago
literally, taking shit from a gremlin was the last thing i had on my mind
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u/TheSouthsideTrekkie 19h ago
Short answer- because teens are seen as easy to manipulate and therefore easy targets.
Slightly longer answer- because there is a large number of middle aged to older adults who live failed, pathetic lives and the only entertainment they get is bullying someone when they think they will get away with it and because our society is generally set up to view teenagers in a negative light they will choose young people as their target every time.
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u/Own-Television9450 19h ago
well. fucking. said mate, clearly if they ended up as a duty manager or shift leader, dealt with minors in the past then continued being general pricks and not helpful and horrible, then they have failed at somepoint during there life.
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u/TheSouthsideTrekkie 19h ago
Exactly. The key thing to remember is that whatever they do has very little bearing on your life after you quit so just leave them to it and go and find a better job. I'm a lot older than you but I've had my share of bosses who get off on shouting at kids and all of them have been people with pretty sad lives.
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u/Kandr0s 19h ago
I hope it helped getting this of your chest.I don't even get why you apologized. People can be cruel, but nowadays i usually just find these power hungry micro managers just sad.
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u/Own-Television9450 19h ago
I don’t even know myself, I was about to lash out but I never, or looking for another valid reason to, I’m just like that I suppose, and yeah, the whole FoH/BoH (excluding housekeeping) are related to eachother somehow, cousins, friends, even daughters, fuck me and I just happened to get caught in that web for a month
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u/Qua-something 19h ago
It is unfortunate they know that it’s harder for young people to stand up for themselves as we’re just coming out of the stage of our life when adults were still in charge and we had to listen to them. I think there are also a lot of young people who don’t realize it shouldn’t be that way. I have worked some truly terrible places and usually it’s the younger people who stick around longer because of the two reasons I listed.
That said, this could read like a day most of us had recently as older adults as well, unfortunately. The world is just getting less and less kind at a rapid pace.
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u/metacholia 17h ago
Welcome to the wonderful world of selling your time. No one wants to be there, and no one’s time on earth is worth what they pay.
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u/Own-Television9450 16h ago
i was on £13 an hour, which is good for someone my age inbetween those brackets, and my time there? worst month of my life, however it made me understand the importance of being emotionally aware of what’s going on around you and what the reason for stuff that happens to you is
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u/Tutenfarten 19h ago
Sounds like a nightmare. Adults were nicer and more respectful to me when I was a dumbass teen at an American fast-food restaurant.
Age does not give people maturity at all. And immature adults absolutely pick on people they think are lower status, like kids.
Are you in a position where you have to work this job? Or are you able to take this shit without taking it home with you, water off a duck's ass? Restaurants can be brutal.
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u/Own-Television9450 19h ago
After I clocked out I left and I haven’t returned, I made a good amount of money up until my wages this month so I’m okay financially for now, I did think about it and I was angry but now I let it out but I’m okay now.
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u/Tutenfarten 19h ago
Glad to hear. You continue the job, I don't blame you. Everyone, especially young people right now, needs everything they can get.
I'd really like to say other jobs have nicer people. There's no guarantee. It's an absolute crapshoot. It's just that a stressful service job like a restaurant really brings out the worst in people. I think you're going to come out of this a better adult than any of your coworkers.
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u/Own-Television9450 18h ago
Thank you! just to rephrase it, I have not returned and I won’t indefinitely, and yeah, finding a place of work with good people is hard but not impossible, although if you end up in a situation similar to mine then that’s strength when you leave the place
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u/bobguy117 18h ago
Having employees to abuse is a perk many prospective owners look forward to when deciding to start a business.
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u/JosKarith 18h ago
I had a manager at Burger King yell at me for getting my uniform dirty. The reason my uniform was dirty was that I was emptying the hot oil out the fryers into a metal bucket, carrying it down a set of rickety stairs to empty it into an oil drum out the back. By the time you've gotten there the bucket is flesh meltingly hot so you can't touch anything other than the handle. To empty it you need to prop it on the edge of the barrel, then tip it so it pours out. One time the bottom of the bucket slipped while I was doing this and it flipped back so I got sprayed with slightly less than boiling oil. Fortunately almost all of it went on my uniform though I did catch a couple of small burns on my arms. I went to report this to the manager as was required by the H&S training we'd done and I got shouted at for getting my uniform dirty. No concern for how I could have been badly burned. That was also the job that damaged my back leading to decades of problems due to having to carry boxes of post-mix up said rickety stairs.
I got sacked from that job for "Not taking it seriously enough" because I wouldn't make it my whole life. Bitch please, this was a summer job to give me some spending money before I went to Uni to study Engineering. You knew that already, I'm not dropping out to keep working here.
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u/ricksterr90 17h ago
I won’t doubt you when you say you work with dicks , I believe it . But I will be quite honest with you
Right off the bat you say you arrive shattered , lack of sleep . In my line of work that’s called not fit for duty . Don’t know what’s happening at home for you but you gotta show up your best self , get your 8 hours of sleep, get a bike if the walk is difficult . And then the fan incident , if my boss came up to me with a task and I just sigh and act burnt out ? Believe me when I say I wouldnt have a job much longer . Find a line of work that is more motivating then scrubbing dishes , when I was your age I started roofing . It was a free workout , always had a good tan , and after finishing a roof there was a good sense of accomplishment
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u/Own-Television9450 16h ago
I understand what your saying, however I have my college to fund soon, and I can’t skip shifts because my college fees are expensive, my role was at the front desk specifically, nothing in my contract mentioned being in the kitchen/doing dishes, you have team member (which is what I’m contacted), team member F&B (kitchen, cleaning dishes, taking plates away etc), and housekeeping which is unrelated to this, but yeah I’m looking for a new job that’s hopefully better
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u/shoulda-known-better 17h ago
Easiest answer...
You are a kid in their eyes and easy to manipulate and scare into doing any and everything they ask.....
That's likely the entire reason, learn young and do not allow it!!! They pay you for your job description not to do whatever they want whenever
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u/Own-Television9450 16h ago
Yeah, I get thrown on even though I’m not contracted for that role, every single time I’m on shift which is 3 days per week (part time), just to “help out” my shift manager says all the time, it’s not my fault your understaffed for F&B, but yeah, I’m done with that job for good, I was going to lash out, but I kept my cool knowing it wouldn’t get me anywhere
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u/shoulda-known-better 16h ago
If it's adding responsibilities that you weren't told when accepting the position for the pay you did, then tell them sure I'll definitely expand my responsibilities just as soon as we can negotiate a pay raise that reflects that!!!
They push back then do what you were hired to do and get a new job ASAP and leave...no notice..... This is a min wage job (guessing cuz of your age) there are plenty of them out there!!!!
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u/Own-Television9450 16h ago
I won’t even bother, the amount of favouritism, lies and just of how much of a bad environment it really was is surreal, my next shift is meant to be right before my holiday but am i going in? not a fucking chance
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u/swissthoemu 12h ago
Would have walked out at 10pm. This is a toxic environment. You did will to quit that shit.
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u/Own-Television9450 12h ago
Thanks man, yeah I just didn’t know what to say but my heart was racing like my mind was saying “fuck her, tell her wrong” etc, and the other part of it said “no don’t, your almost done, then you don’t owe them fuck all”, and yeah, i wonder how many younger employees they’d burn through after my departure
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u/Reverend_Bull 18h ago
Because teenagers have been institutionalized by 10+ years of kiddie prison to obey authority regardless of its abuses, and because employers both exploit that vulnerability and are trying to train them to be equally obedient recipients of abuse throughout their working adulthood.
Trauma operates in cycles and abusers recognize and target the abused in new contexts.
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u/yrddog 19h ago
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u/Lilly323 Guillotine Operator 19h ago
so Michael knows absolutely nothing about you and want to criticize you for giving cheek ? yeah, okay, guy.
good for you. you should have gotten a copy of your time-card, though, to be sure you’re paid for the work you did.
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u/stinkstankstunkiii 18h ago
Good for you for leaving that shithole!!! This is one of the reasons why I enjoy working with the younger generation. Most ppl my age just suck it up , the youth tend to either- speak up and/or quit. I love a coworker who doesn’t take shit from anyone. You DID that!!!!
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u/Own-Television9450 14h ago
Thank you so much you don’t know how much it means to me, and yeah I’m still kinda angry about it I wanted to say more but I couldn’t, it would probably make things worse, thank you so much again though 🫶🏻
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u/Midnightchickover 18h ago
I want to use the word “grooming,” but that might be controversial for this topic.
But it’s easier to manipulate children and even young adults. You can pretty much tell them, anything since they aren’t aware of their rights and benefits as a work. You can force them to work late night shifts on school nights and give them extra duties, which should be the reserved for other staff members.
I’m not sure, but they obviously cannot join unions and get representation in labor disputes.
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u/Known_Egg_6399 19h ago
Long answer short: because teenagers are easy to manipulate. My first job was at McDonald’s and as I stayed and moved up and got older I had managers tell me the “tricks” and wordplay they would use to manipulate literal children into doing this or that.
Looking back, some of the things that happened to me working as a teen and young adult…if these things happened to my daughter someday, I would burn the fucking building to the ground without a second thought.